The Melancholy of Kyouko Toshinio
By TheBlackKid
Chapter 1 – The Eternal Feeling
"Pl-Please…l-leave us…a-alone…I-I'm…b-begging you, please!"
"Shut up!"
*POW*
"Gah…!"
I felt his big bare fist hit my face hard. Bringing excruciating pain to it as I fell to the floor. It felt like I was going to puke everything I ate that day. I couldn't feel half of my face and most of my body. I was in life-threatening pain and I was pretty sure that I was bleeding internally, too.
"N-NO! L-LEAVE HER…ALONE! I-I WON'T LET…YOU HURT HER!"
N-No…stop…
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!"
*POW* *POW* *POW*
"Gah!"
"NO!"
I watched in horror as I was a witness to a woman being beaten to a pulp and fell to the ground. Blood leaking from her body as she laid their unconscious.
I wanted to rush to her aid. I really did…
But…I couldn't. My near-dead body was starting to shut down. And I barely even moved from my own puddle of blood when I was grabbed by my blood-soaked t-shirt and brought to my attacker's sadistic face of terror.
"Hahaha. To think a hopeless sack of shit like you is still fighting. I oughta fix that RIGHT now!"
"N-No…pl-please…"
As I continued to beg for my life, a giant fist was formed and heading straight for my face. Completely prepared to strike me till I die.
"N-No…No…"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
…
…
…
"*sniff* A-Another nightmare. A-And it *sniff* i-it felt all too real. J-Just like…the other ones."
I grabbed my blanket, which was kicked off during this recent nightmare, and pulled it over my head to be completely under the covers. The only way I can have privacy as I cry out multiple tears of everlasting sadness.
"Wh-Why? *sniff* Wh-Why is such a memory still inside my mind? Wh-Why won't *sniff*…Why won't it let me forget?"
This, unfortunately, is a common thing for me. Waking up in the middle of the night from horrific nightmares and then crying myself back to sleep. It's what my traumatized brain is used to these days. After suffering years upon years of physical and mental abuse. And the effects are still lasting. Even to this day.
It wasn't always like this. I was a normal happy girl, at one point. But now, my memories are filled with nothing but sadness, self-hatred, and suicidal thoughts. The three S's that spell out my current life.
It's an endless void of fear and depression that I cannot escape. No matter how hard I try. These memories…that play out a nightmare-fueled event that nearly killed me…will forever haunt my mind until the day I die for real.
So, just leave me alone and let me cry. It's the only thing I can do that doesn't bring pain to my already destroyed life and innocence.
Such is the melancholy of Kyouko Toshinio.
*ALARM SOUND*
"*moan* Shut up." I slammed my fist on the clock and then eventually unplugged it and threw it across the room. Causing it to break into pieces.
I didn't care that it was the 6th alarm clock that I've broken. Those things just remind me that it's time to fear. And I don't need a damn clock to tell me that.
I experience it 24/7.
I didn't know how long it was since I destroyed clock #6. But I eventually heard my bedroom door open and footsteps getting closer to my bed. And judging by the day (being Monday) and the time of day (being around 7 in the morning, give or take), I knew who this person is.
"*sigh* So, we're doing this again, huh?"
"Go away, Rukia. I'm not getting outta bed, no matter what you try."
"No matter what I try, huh? Okay, Cousin. Challenge accepted!"
What did I just agree to?
I suddenly felt my right leg being grabbed. And without any sort of warning whatsoever…
"Ready? Han-Tenkan Suramu!"
*SLAM*
"Gaaaaaaah! M-My back…"
"Ohhohoho. How do you like that? A new special move created by the one and only Volleyball Queen! Rukia-sama! Ohhohoho!"
"Gah…I freaking hate you sometimes." I weakly spat out as I was still wincing in pain.
The person who had just backflipped me out of my bed and onto the hard as hell floor is my cousin. Rukia Yamabuki. She's the same age as me, being 16 (she beat me by about a month) and has been in my life for as long as we both lived.
What makes Rukia different from me (besides not being filled with fear and sadness for all eternity) is that she's loaded. And I mean LOADED. Her dad (who is also my uncle, obviously) is the CEO of Yamabuki Works Co. The biggest and most successful publishing company in all of Japan. They make the majority of the lesser-known manga, light novels, and gaming sims. And they have the say when any of those lesser-known mangas, light novels, and gaming sims get turned into anime.
Point is, they make a lot of money. And it tends to get to Rukia's head sometimes.
Not that I could blame her, honestly.
"Now, come on. Get up. Today's the day you're finally gonna go to school."
"D…Do I have to?" I asked nervously. "C…C-Can't I just…stay here?"
"Cousin, you've been "staying here" for a little over 2 months at this point. I understand that you're still hurting and such. But it's really time to move on."
"Move on…hah. You make it sound so easy, Rukia. But can someone like me really move on from what I went through? What I experienced? I'm forever traumatized by what happened. So much so that I get nightmares that relive that horrific event EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And not only do I have mental scares, but I also have permanent physical ones too. I can't move on. Even if I wanted to. It's just not possible…for someone like me."
"Not with that attitude, you won't."
"You still don't get it? It's freaking hopeless. *sniff* Just like me."
"*sigh* Geez, Kyouko." Rukia then sat next to me on the floor. I was surprised that she did that since she's a mild germophobe. But whatever. "Okay, I'll admit. Saying that you should move on was bad on my end. But you can't live on in this depressed state of mind forever, you know."
"*sniff* B-But…"
"I understand that what you went through is unforgettable. Years of physical and mental abuse isn't something to you can just wash off like a piece of dog shit on your shoe."
"Wh-Why did you had to use that analogy?" I asked with a sweatdrop and mild disgust.
"My point is…even after all of that, especially knowing who exactly did it to you, you shouldn't live in complete fear and depression. Because honestly…that just means that the sick bastard has won."
"H-H-He…won?" I felt my heart tingle in anger as I took that thought into consideration. The thought of my abuser…nearly killing me from all the torture and actually winning from that…there was no way in hell I was going to let that happen. I would hate myself even more than I already do. And that's already saying much. Giving how my mood was a couple of minutes ago.
"Tell me, Cousin. Do you really want that? Do you really that bastard to win?"
"H…Hell no." I whispered.
"What?"
"H-Hell no." I whispered again.
"I can't hear you. Speak up like the true Yamabuki you are!"
"I SAID HELL NO! THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M GONNA LET THAT SICK BASTARD WIN! HE DESERVES TO ROT IN HELL FOR WHAT HE DID! AND THEN SOME! *pant* *pant* *pant*"
That yell…it's something that I've never done before. It felt…powerful. It made me feel powerful. A feeling that I've never felt before in my life.
…
And it felt good. Real good.
"Ohhoho. I knew you had it in you." Rukia said to me.
"You just know how to push my buttons." I replied with a small smile.
"I'm your cousin, Kyouko. I know everything about you. Your thoughts, your feelings, and your A-cupped titties."
"Wh-Why did you had to bring that up?!" I yelled with a faint blush on my face.
"Sorry, sorry." Rukia laughed a little. "Just hurry up and get ready. We leave in…45 minutes."
"*sigh* Fine. Like I have a choice this time."
"I'll be waiting downstairs. Don't keep the Volleyball Queen waiting. Ohhohoho!" Rukia then left my room and closed the door behind her. Her elegant laughter still being heard from the hallways of the mansion.
"Rukia, you are so self-righteous." I said with a sweatdrop.
I got up from the floor and went to my closet. There, hanging on the rack, was something that I haven't worn since the day it came in the mail.
My high school uniform.
It was a white untucked dress shirt with a pink tie made into a bow. All underneath a light purple jacket with a white line on both sleeves. The skirt was a bit weird. It was a grey plaid color, but the top was light grey and the bottom was dark grey.
I don't really remember what school this uniform belongs to. Probably because I never went to the school. But today's the day I'm going to find out, huh?
I put the uniform on and stared at myself in the mirror. I…actually look kinda cute in it. Even with…my bleached blonde hair and my orange stained eyes. Both results of the abuse and torture that I received.
There really isn't much I can do about these. Even after going to the hospital for the treatable injuries. I didn't think it was possible, to begin with. But I do miss my regular blonde hair and sky blue eyes.
Even if they…well…never mind.
"Hey, Kyouko! Are you done yet?!"
"C-Coming, Rukia!"
I looked back at my reflection, school uniform and all, and gained a small smile on my face. The first in a while. In my case.
"*sigh* Still can't believe that I'm doing this…after so long, too. But…I'm doing it. I'm doing it for her."
In her memory…
Author's Note: After thinking it over for a while, I've decided to come back with a new story. This one more-so of a test for the first few chapters.
This is something different from what I'm known to write for this series. A more serious, heart-warming, kinda mature-rated story. Not following any of the plotlines from the manga, anime, or the Inner Struggles stories. Although, characters and minor ideas from the third one will be used. But with changes made.
I already have three chapters done for this story. So, if you're interested, continue reading. Later.