A mock image of the blue marble appeared behind an astronaut as he tinkered with a satellite. "Last year we had the biggest, wildest, and craziest ride in reality television history. So much so that we've launched a reality tv network!" A familiar voice began.
The camera changed to show that the satellite the astronaut was working on was titled 'The Drama Network.' "And now, the show that launched it all, is BACK FOR IT'S SECOND SEASON!" The satellite flickers to life just as the camera zooms into the blue marble.
Down on earth, the familiar face of one Chris McLean appeared on a rotting, brown deck of an old dilapidated summer camp. "I'm Chris McClean and as you can see, things have changed since we've been away." He walked down the dock past the sign to Camp Wawanakwa to where an intern waited with a coconut drink on a round platter. "And by changed," Chris took a step back as a giant tentacle rose from the lake and onto the dock-and the poor intern.
"I mean it's gotten really, really dangerous!" Chris continued as he laughed as the intern struggled above the water.
"The rules of the game remain the same," Chris said over an overlay of the campgrounds. Familiar sites such as the cabins, the mess hall, the amphitheater, and even the old dodgeball court, were shown in deteriorating conditions. "Our handful of unsuspecting teens will bunk with complete strangers, air their dirty laundry in our outhouse confessional, and compete in LIFE THREATENING Challenges all over the island and risk being voted off."
From below Chris pulled up a black briefcase. "All of this, will end with one teen winning a grand total of ONE MILLION DOLLARS! AND HERE THEY ARE NOW!"
The camera followed a blitzing boat that sailed by Camp Wawanakwa without hesitation.
The camera showed each and every contestant from season one. From Justin to Leshawna, they were all partying and celebrating. But, Dakota was missing from the group. However she was quickly seen leaving the boat via pink jet ski.
"No not them," Chris said as Dakota silently got off her jet ski and pulled the intern out of the water. "This season we have all new players! Fighting for the Million! AND HERE THEY ARE! FOR REAL!"
"JO!"
A tough blond jockette with a gray sweatshirt and matching sweatpants crossed her arms and grimaced at the camera. Her blue eyes carried nothing but contempt and disdain for the competition. "Stay away from me if you value your kiwis!" she said to the competitor closest to her.
"MAX!"
A short, squat, rather spiteful boy turned his nose in the air and let out a cocky laugh. "But you fool, it won't be my kiwis that you must look out for, it shall be your dragonfruit!" His gelled purple hair flew behind him as he looked to the sky and let out a shrill attempt at an evil laugh.
"DJ!"
The rather imposing student looked to the camera with a warm smile under soft black pinprick eyes, almost betraying his physique. Under his knit cap and dark skin, a radiance of warmth was almost immediately felt from the contestants around him.
"DAWN!"
"You have such a lovely aura," an almost angelic voice said. Sitting in a lotus position next to DJ was Dawn. She pushed her platinum blond hair behind her and grabbed DJ's forearm with a gentle touch. Though dainty she held firm through the waves on the lake.
"JAIDEN!"
As the boat hit another wave the bubbly girl steadied her balance by gripping onto the rails. A smile quickly went on her face as she waved to the cameras with vibrant energy. Her brown hair, punctuated by a single pink streak, bounced almost as much as she did as she looked towards the island, and to the camera. "I can't believe we're here! Isn't this going to be fun?!" she asked the contestant next to her.
"STACI!"
"Oh em gee yah," a fat girl with a pink sweater said equally enthusiastically. She fixed the big red bow atop her brown hair before she opened her mouth again. "You know my great great great grandmother Lisa was actually the first to invent boats like this. Before this people would just tie their clothes together and try to swim to keep their clothes dry. That technique was…" Jaiden remained oblivious in her own excitement as Staci babbled on and the camera slowly panned to her right.
"LINDSAY!"
A remarkably beautiful girl stood next to Staci. Her big blue, cat-like eyes and small ears were focused on every word the shorter girl next to her was saying. As she nodded in agreement her blue bandana remained fixed on her head.
"TYLER!"
"Hey if you think that's amazing," a jock dressed in a red track suit zippered all the way up and a sweatband said from an upper deck. Lindsay snapped her head up to see the brown-eyed and brown haired jock waving at her from the deck. "Wait until you see what I can do."
"LIGHTNING!
Popping up in front of Tyler was a boisterous dark skinned and black haired jock. He wore a blue football jersey, brown khakis, and was accessorized with two gold earrings and a small lightning bolt necklace. "If you think that's sha-mazing, wait until you see me! Being me!" He flexed his biceps to the camera and smiled.
"CARSON!"
A lanky boy with wiry muscles looked at the sports duo with vague amusement. He smiled nervously and stepped away from the two as they stumbled over each other and eventually over the railing. "Boy, that was something," he mumbled, fixing his shoulder length hair into a ponytail.
"SIERRA!"
Carson backed into Sierra without knowing. "Oh hi!" the tall girl with purple hair said. "Aren't you excited to be here? I've heard that all five couples from the first season are still going strong! I wonder if I can meet the one I want to marry here!"
"Well anything can happen on reality tv," Carson quietly agreed, laughing. Sierra joined him but her laugh was a bit more unstable and her eyes fixated on the boy in front of her.
"B!"
A larger fat black boy with a dark black goatee fixed his red cap so that the bill faced outward. He looked at the camera with a relaxed smile and pointed finger guns in the direction of the island, his green eyes already set on winning and plotting.
"VIOLET!"
Without looking where she was going, the skinny girl wrapped her hands around a gaming system as she walked forward. Her dark brown hair flopped in front of her as she was slowly stopped by B, who realized she was about to walk off of the deck down below. "Thanks man!" she said, eyes not looking up from her game system. The glare from the screen reflected on her green eyes and B shrugged at the camera.
"MIKE!"
The camera moved slightly aft to show a tall, gangly boy looking at the unlikely duo with an awkward smile, revealing a gap tooth. His big brown eyes and angular chin added to his rather motley features over a simple blue shirt and jeans. "Looks like they're having fun, aren't they?" he said to no one in particular.
"QUENTIN!"
Another boy, taller than Mike and much more muscular, only accented by his sharp cut hair and steely gray eyes nodded his head as he looked at Mike as he whipped around. "Well she seems kind of foolish," he said in a deep tone.
"CARMEN!"
A pretty and curvy young woman strode up to the two boys with a bit of a smirk. "Oh come on, we're on reality tv muchachos." Her narrow dark blue eyes wandered over both Mike and Quentin as she held both their shoulders. "Let's have a little fun."
"OWEN!"
A loud, fat, blond boy jumped up from behind the trio and cheered. "I AGREE!" he said in a raspy voice. "LET'S MAKE THIS A PARTY TO REMEMBER!" He pushed his stomach against Carmen with an all mighty jump and the tall girl fell over the dock. "Sorry," the fat boy apologized as he looked over the side.
"GWEN!"
The last contestant to be shown looked up from her deep rumination as Carmen thudded next to her. Gwen, a pasty girl with teal highlights in her hair, scoffed at Owen and Carmen as they both gave thumbs up to each other and snorted at the camera.
"YUP!" Chris said as the camera cut back to him. "This is going to be our roughest, toughest, EXPLODIEST SEASON EVER!" He took out a remote control and pressed the large red central button with his thumb gleefully.
The boat that the eighteen new contestants were on suddenly exploded and all were sent splashing and flying in every direction.
Chris took a casual sip of his drink and looked at the camera. "RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! ON TOTAL! DRAMA! REVENGE OF THE ISLAND!"
The sequence begins similar to how it did a season ago. The cameras begin popping out of the radioactive and even worse off Camp Wawanakwa. The wildlife, including but not limited to a giant tentacle, a radioactive squirrel, and something that barfs up a couple of bones. A pair of fair skinned arms appears in front of the camera clapping a film slate and the Camera switches to an aerial view of the island.
Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine;
The camera rapidly flies through the air and trees as the lyrics begin, reaching the top of the cliff.
You guys are on my mind!
The camera falls from the cliff and lands through a ring of buoys, cutting to an underwater view to reveal Owen swimming underwater. He farts a little bit and the gas bubble knocks out several fish swimming behind him
You asked me what I wanted to be,
and I think the answer is plain to see
The fish float up to the surface, dead, and bump into B's canoe as he modifies a fishing mechanism. The fish cause the mechanism to go haywire and it flies into the air. He looks around with a shrug before pulling out a notebook
I wanna be... famous!
We see the mechanism flying past the sun as a lens flare transitions to the forest. In a forest clearing, both Carson and Jo are stretching amidst seemingly friendly woodland peers. Dawn is visible on a tree meditating alongside a bird. It is then that the mechanism falls in the middle of them and causes the animals to attack. Jo and Carson leave the still meditating Dawn behind and run in different directions. Carson runs into Sierra's arms, who sweeps him up and runs towards the river.
I wanna live close to the sun!
Atop a waterfall Tyler is flexing his muscles towards an admiring Lindsay on a raft. The two of them are too busy staring into each other's eyes to notice that they're going over the fall.
So pack your bags 'cause I've already won!
The camera follows the lovers down the waterfall before stopping abruptly in front of Lightning, who is lifting a log on a dead log bridge. Lightning stops, surprised, as Lindsay and Tyler land on his log and cause the one he is standing on to collapse
Everything to prove nothing in my way!
Jaiden walks up to the outhouse confessional smiling and opens the door, only to slam it when the face of a monstrous mutated shark appears directly in her face. She slumps against the ground as Max points at her and laughs, before falling into one of his traps.
I'll get there one day.
The camera pans to the Mess Lodge, with the chef's silhouette visible through the window. In the room, he fishes out a pair of headphones and slams them over his ears. He smiles in relief before he holds up a bit of gunk. He turns to chatterbox staci and stuffs her mouth with gunk, shutting her up.
Cause I wanna be famous!
A Pan out the door reveals Violet looking up from her game console as she eyes Carmen seemingly flirting with a disinterested Quentin, who greets Jo, Carson, and Sierra as they meet up in front of the dining hall. Violet closes her game console and tails Quentin as he walks off to the dock
Na-nananannaa-nanananna-nananannanaaa
Quentin and Violent pass by a sketching Gwen on the way to the dock, who shoves the camera out of the way dismissively.
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!
On the deck they see Mike and DJ talking, DJ petting a rabbit with a squirrel's tail. Quentin and Dj begin talking, Quentin scratching his hand awkwardly.
I wanna be! I wannabe! I wanna be famous!
Violet looks at Mike rather dumbfoundedly as he backflips away since they were in the middle of a conversation. He backflips off of the pier and causes a big splash. The camera zooms in on the water drops and uses it as a transition to the nightscape of Camp wawanakwa. Lindsay and Tyler look at each other after Lindsay puts lipstick on her. Tyler pushes up his headband and the two lean in expectantly only to pull back once Chef holds up a green marshmallow in between the two of them.
The contestants whistle the closing notes as the camera pans out to the infamous sign of camp wawanakwa
The camera cut back to the feed of the contestants all struggling through the water. The shot lingered on Max bobbing up and down in the waves. "YOU-RUE THE DAY-TEPID PIECE OF LAKE WATER!" he shouted as he periodically submerged.
Once his head finally divided beneath the waves, Lightning suddenly shot up, carrying the diminutive villain wannabe like a torch high above the water. "Sha-Lightning's got you little troll!"
The duo sped by a flailing Staci and a surprisingly calm B. "I wish my great great great uncle Lawrence was here! He won gold at the first ever Canadian acadecamathalon!"
Noticing his nearby competitor's sudden disappearance, the silent genius grabbed debris surrounding all of them and finagled something off a boat with a crane. Once he hooked up the chatterbox the two were off towards the island.
"This is officially the worst day of my life," Gwen said, clinging to a medium size of driftwood.
"Well," Jaiden said, her wet hair clinging to her forehead. "Looks like we're not harmed yet. So that's something good I guess."
Gwen simply rolled her eyes and continued paddling to the island.
Unbeknownst to either of them Carmen was flailing nearby in the water. She called for help as she slowly fell through the water. "I've got you!" both Mike and Quentin shouted as they swam towards her.
"Oh sorry, am I in the way?" Mike awkwardly asked.
"Well, there's a girl drowning but no, you're not in my way," Quentin sniped.
"My bad man, I umm, I think you have this handled then." At that statement, a pale hand shot of the water grabbed Mike by his scrawny neck, and dragged him down. Startled, Quentin dove under the water, hoisting Carmen with one hand and Mike with the other.
Confessional, Mike
Okay! So, first confessional! I umm, didn't make the best first impression, but there's always room for things to light up!
Confessional, Carmen
Well, first day out and already I have the attention of two lovely boys! Looks like they're in the dealership looking for a beautiful Carmen amirite?
"I THOUGHT THESE NEW PUMPS WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME SWIM!" Lindsay squealed helplessly. She scrambled through the water and looked for a way to help before she found herself clinging on to the next person to pass by.
"Here, just grab onto my back," Tyler recommended. The perky blond eagerly nodded and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
Confessional, Tyler
Chicks dig the red tracksuit, that's just something I've noticed.
Splashing out of the water and onto the shore came Jo, the jockette, who looked around exuberantly. "Woo-hoo! First one on the-" Her celebration was cut short as she found a certain pixie girl meditating on the rocks nearby. "How did-You aren't even wet!"
"Hmm?" Dawn murmured. The starfish she was holding fell out of her hands as she put a tiny finger to her chin. "I took a shortcut!"
DJ stumbled up on land and stood up shakily. "Ladies," he said with a bow before sitting next to Dawn.
As more and more of the contestants slowly made their way on land, a nervous Carson made his way to the shore with Sierra on his heels. He sat up on the beach and helped pick a shell from Sierra's ponytail. "Wow that was some splash, huh?" he murmured.
"Hmm?" Sierra said as she tilted her head. "Yeah that was something, honey."
Carson flashed a confused glance to the nearby trio of Mike, Quentin, and Carmen. He shrugged his shoulders and struck up a conversation with Sierra as her eyes slowly glazed over in glee.
Gwen slowly paddled to shore and stood up, only to be knocked down once B's boat made landfall.
Confessional, Gwen
Okay, (she sighs) so far this sucks. Why did I sign up for this in the first place?
"You know it was my great great great grandfather Cyrus who created the word beach. Before him people called them SandMelts. And before him it was my great-great-great-"
"Great," DJ interrupted. He and some of the other contestants, namely Lightning and Jaiden, surrounded Dawn as she read their palms.
"Jaiden, your aura is so energetic it seems like it'll burst at any moment. Lightning you are just as energetic but you definitely have a stronger purpose."
"Of course!" With a flex of his biceps Lightning jumped from the rock and landed in the sand. "SHA-LIGHTNING IS HERE FOR SHA-LIGHTNING!"
Closer to the shore Owen flailed around helplessly. "I'M DROWNING AND I WON'T EVEN MAKE IT TO FRANCE AND HAVE H'ORDERVES! CALL THE RCMP! CALL THE NAVY SEALS! CALL MY MOM!"
"Umm," Violet said as she floated by on her back. "You can just stand up big guy, it's shallow enough for us both."
The blond boy blinked and slowly rolled over to the point where he was sitting. "Oh hey you're right. Thanks Violet!"
Confessional, Violet
Owen reminds me of the characters in video games that are nice but not all that bright. I usually find them as strong physical tanks and they always have a spot on my team. There's always room for more on teams.
As all campers made it onto the shore, Chris' infamous voice came on the loudspeakers. "ALRIGHT CAMPERS!"
"Where's Kyle?" Lindsay asked Tyler obliviously.
"Some kind of loudspeakers, genius," Gwen said bluntly.
"Right as rain you are! Welcome to the next season of Total Drama! Total Drama Revenge of the Island! See that trail leading into the forest?" All eighteen pairs of eyes shot to the forest clearing Chris was referring to. "Race to the end of that trail, and do not disturb the wildlife. That would be bad."
"Yeah," Lightning chortled. "We wouldn't want to upset the bunnies!" He playfully nudged a nearby Carson and earned an awkward smile in response.
"The tiniest noise can set them off-LIKE THIS!" The sound of an airhorn resounded through the campgrounds and the roars of an unidentified wild animal grew loud, startling the contestants and sending them all in a run.
The camera transitioned to the forest clearing where a large bundle of contestants had already congregated. Jo, head of the pack, looked around the clearing and clapped in triumph. "Yes! First of the new meat to make it!" She turned around to see Carson, Lightning, B, Quentin, and Lindsay all looking at her weird victory. "Sorry that you had to get beaten by me."
"Eh, I knew a lot of fast chicks back home, doesn't surprise me that you're one of them," Carson shrugged.
"There's only one girl here and she was already behind sha-Lightning!" Lightning shot up. "Lightning doesn't lose to no girl!"
"Do you think the oxygen is going to his head yet?" Quentin whispered to the silent genius, who shrugged in response.
"How do I know when the oxygen is in my brain?" Lindsay asked, earning a side glance from Quentin and B.
"Okay!" Chris interrupted. "Looks like we have a strong gaggle ahead of us. So here's how we'll divide it."
"Racehorse," he pointed to Jo. "Team A. on my right."
"Horsetail," he pointed to an offended Carson. "Team B, on my left."
"Captain modesty," he nodded to Lightning. "Team A."
"Silent type," he gestured to B. "Team B."
"The personable rock," he remarked to Quentin. "Team A."
"Bubble Brain," he pointed to Lindsay. "Team B."
Next to slide into the clearing were a clearly shaken DJ and a heavily panting Tyler, who rested on DJ's shoulder. "There was something in the woods!" DJ shakily spoke.
"Yeah, they're called trees," Chris said bluntly. "Fraidy-cat, Team A. Redband, Team B."
Shortly after a heavily panting Mike stumbled through the group of contestants and landed in front of Chris. "King of the Awkward intros, Team A."
Mike heaved a breath and held up a thumb, unknowing that Dawn had glided in behind him without much effort. "Aura whisperer, team B." Dawn floated off to her team as Mike screamed just behind, before joining the others on his team with a sheepish smile.
"Perky Pomsky," Chris stated as Jaiden trickled in. "Team A."
"Misplaced Vampire, Team B." Gwen rolled her eyes as she settled next to Carson and Lindsay.
"Lemon Dealership, Team A." A sweaty Carmen fixed her top and strode next to DJ and Mike.
"Lavender Lover, team B." Sierra jumped with glee and stood next to Carson and pushed Gwen out of the way.
"Grumpy old Troll, team A." A thoroughly exhausted Max tried to grimace but he was shoved aside by a walking Violet.
"Gamer Girl, Team B." Violet shrugged and pulled out her gaming console as she hid behind B.
"Broken record, Team A." Chris nodded as Staci rolled in, muttering something about a great-great times a hundred relative who invented running. Quentin and DJ picked her up and helped stand her up on her two feet.
"And the walking talking pillow, Team B." Owen collapsed in front of Chris and no member on his team made an effort to get him.
"What was that thing in the forest man?" DJ asked, his voice quavering.
"Yeah the big guy over there got lost at the sound of any little thing," Carmen added.
"Relax, it'll all make sense eventually," Chris ominously explained before delving into deranged, evil laughter that caused the two teams- Jo, Lightning, Quentin, DJ, Mike, Jaiden, Carmen, Max, and Staci to one side and Carson, B, Lindsay, Tyler, Gwen, Sierra, Violet, Dawn, and Owen on the other side- to stare at each other, and the host, with awkward glares.
"Because of the environment we decided to make things easier, since this season will be a lot harder than last one. There will be twists and danger around every corner so a little parachute will be this!" Chris held up a small diorama with a miniature wooden bust of his head. "The Mclean Brand Chris Head! This will allow you to save one elimination upon use, transferable, and with it, you'll be the most powerful player in Total Drama history!"
He paused and took a look at the Chris head. "Is the cleft on my chin really that big?"
"Yes," Gwen replied bluntly. "Almost as big as your ego."
"Moving on!" Chris shot an annoyed glance at the goth before the goth stuck a tongue out at him. "It's time for team names!"
"Team Lightning!" Lightning enthusiastically suggested. "No wait! Lightning SQUAD!"
"Nice names, but they're already determined for you, by moi to be specific. Team A, you shall be known as the Toxic Rats!" Jo, Lightning, Quentin, DJ, Mike, Jaiden, Carmen, Max, and Staci looked at each other and shrugged as Staci and Max, the two shortest, found themselves covered by their light green team logo.
"Team B, likewise," Chris continued. "You will be christened as the Mutant Maggots!"
Carson, B, Lindsay, Tyler, Gwen, Sierra, Violet, and Owen nodded placidly as Owen held up the red maggot team logo in front of his team. "Awesome! I'm a Maggot!" the fat boy said in awe.
"Wait," Violet asked looking up from her video game. "Why all the references to toxic waste?"
Before the host could answer her question the thundering footsteps and roars of their chaser slowly encroached on the team. As trees fell in the background some of the more feeble campers, Staci, Violet, Lindsay, DJ, and Tyler hid behind each other. Once the footsteps subsided a small pink squirrel stepped out from the bushes.
"That's it?" Lightning and Jo asked, shocked by the cowardice of the other contestants.
Just then, the squirrel blinked, with its eyelids closing vertically rather than horizontally. "Oh my gosh! What happened to it?!" Dawn concernedly asked.
"While we were gone," Chris explained. "I rented the island out to a nice family-oriented biohazardous waste disposal company." Some of the campers looked around and saw some flies hovering over a radioactive barrel. "Sweet people. But it seemed like their byproducts had a bit of an effect on our local wildlife."
"Weird," Lindsay said, gathering the courage to walk up to the squirrel. "But it's so adorable! I want one!"
Her tune soon changed as the squirrel emitted laser beams and shot at the ground in front of Lindsay's shoes. The squirrel growled fiercely before running off into the wilderness once more. The blond stunner jumped into Tyler's arms and the jock winked at the camera.
Confessional, Dawn
My original purpose was to go on this show to heal harmed individuals and make money to do some further healing, but I see right now that the environment here needs healing more than ever!
"Most! Danger! Ever!" Chris laughed tauntingly. The contestants looked blankly as Chris' maniacal laughter continued on. "If you look up in this clearing, you'll see two totem poles over it."
"Isn't that cultural appropriation?" Quentin asked with a grimace on his face.
Chris opens his mouth to speak but was cut off by a dainty female hand. "Well, we have authorization from the local first nations crew," Dakota suddenly appeared. She waved to the new set of contestant with a big beaming smile on her face. The campers returned her wave with varying levels of excitement. "After last season's incidents I thought it would be nice to get explicit permission from them."
"Thank you Dakota," Chris started. "Looks like it was a good idea to keep you on the payroll. "Now these totem poles-"
"The first nations community respectfully asks that you call them towers."
"Wow," Chris said bluntly. "I'd fire you if I could for that statement."
"Then my daddy will cut funding to this show," Dakota said with an intense glare.
Confessional, Dakota
GUESS WHO'S BACK?! Your head intern is here to intern it up! You'll be seeing more of me since my daddy is the one really running the show! Once I get into college for production I'm totally gonna make the best shows ever!
"Okay fine," Chris relented. "These hanging towers are hollow and maneuverable, barely! Your job is to get these down by any means necessary. Then you must take them down river and place them on two pedestals to claim a cabin. This year, one cabin is a nine bedroom, two full bathroom two half bathroom luxurious manor with a hot tub and custom surround sound. The losers will have to settle for our old classic charm."
The contestants looked up to see the two towers over them, each with an ax stuck in their bases, most likely to help them get a grip, and help them cut down the towers. "And you better hurry, because these things are just about ready to BLOW!" The camera zoomed in on the main body of the tower to show some bombs ticking down from an hour away.
"But anyways, since Jo arrived first, her team will be getting a trampoline!" The cameras cut to Chef Hatchet bouncing on a trampoline. "And for the second place team with Carson and his crew, they're going to get a hatchet."
At that moment, the bouncing Chef fell off of the trampoline as Dakota slipped it out from under him. Carson and Sierra's awkward laughter from the chef falling cut off abruptly once the angry veteran threw his hacksaw at the two of them. In retaliation, Jo barked out, laughing. Her taunting laugh abruptly stopped when the trampoline rolled over her and Lightning behind her.
"Alright, the challenge is on!" Chris shouted before he, Dakota, and Chef drove off.
With the trampoline already set up underneath the Rats' pedestal, Jo stood on a rock several feet higher than the trampoline with a mighty stance. "ALRIGHT LET'S DO THIS!" She hit the trampoline square in the center but the force of her leap sent her flailing into the water with a loud scream.
"This may take a while…" Quentin said with his head hung low. DJ nodded in agreement and made a similar leap onto the trampoline.
Lindsay looked at the hacksaw as though it was a linear algebra textbook. "I don't get it, how'd they make these things so pointy?" She poked her finger against one of the saw teeth before recoiling.
"Beats me," Gwen said next to her.
"What beats you?"
"It's just a figure of speech."
"Oh," Lindsay nodded. "Is that like figure skating?"
Gwen looked at her blankly while their silent teammate slowly grabbed some planks behind all of them. "Oh D," Lindsay said as she noticed B grabbing planks. "Do you need some help getting planks?"
The silent genius turned to her with an appreciative smile and nodded his head. He pointed off in a direction where he was getting branches and Lindsay scampered off enthusiastically. "Wait Lindsay, I'm sure I can help you out!" Tyler called after her.
Confessional, Lindsay
I get that I'm not the smartest person in the shed, but I swear that I have some use to me!
"Maybe if we're able to hit it off center then we're able to get it higher?" Jaiden recommended to her team.
"We don't need that sha-math!" Lightning said as he pushed Jaiden away. "All we need is sha-me!"
"Wait it's not-" Jaiden tried to warn.
Her warning went ignored as Lightning jumped on the trampoline and consequently took a punctuated pounding against the base of their tower. As his teammates cringed DJ and Quentin shoved the trampoline out of the way and the football jock took a face plant directly into the dirt.
Confessional, Lightning
I totally would have gotten that if those wannabe jocks didn't push away my trampoline! Sha-Lightning should have been a team of one! Yeah!
"You know Mike, my great great great uncle Vincent was the one who first invented springs. Before him people had to jump off of clotheslines in order to get tall. But it was my great great great Aunt Rhea who made the trampoline. Before people made jumping machines out of string and goat's milk."
"Shut your yap dangit!" Carmen yelled at the excessively speaking Staci, shoving her to the ground as she tried her hand at the trampoline. With a frustrated glance she fixed her shirt and took a leap. To her own shock, she managed to grab onto the low hanging ax. "HEY GUYS I MADE IT! THE VIEW UP THERE IS NICE BUT I HOPE I'M GIVING YOU A NICE VIEW!"
As she laughed in relief, the laser shooting squirrel suddenly appeared on a branch next to her. The flirt gulped in fear as the agitated squirrel suddenly laid its eyes in Carmen's direction. As she hung on for dear life, the squirrel fired a bevy of lasers in many awkward angles.
"Great! As if we can't get any worse!" Mike said.
At that statement, Mike gasped abruptly, seemingly losing himself before appearing with a hunched back, significantly more wrinkles, and a squinted eye. "Get right to it you whippersnappers!" 'Mike' started.
"Mike? Are you okay buddy?" DJ asked as the two hunkered behind a hole in the dirt.
"Who's Mike? The name is Chester you hooligan!" DJ's eyes narrowed as they continued hiding in the hole.
Confessional, Mike
Okay, Okay, I admit it. My quirk is Dissociative Identity Disorder. It used to be called Multiple Personality disorder until a while ago, but I can't let them know that! It took me months to even convince my therapist to head on reality tv! But I need this! The money can pay for so much therapy!
"Here you go Q!" The silent genius turned around, alert, and found Lindsay carrying a thick piece of wood about the size of Owen's forearms. Behind her, Tyler was dragging a giant log longer than all of them put together would be. B nodded in approval and grabbed the hacksaw from a waiting Carson. Hacksaw in hand, B started cutting the wood down to an appropriate size.
"I think we did the best part," Sierra commented to Carson as they looked at B lining up the other teammates.
"Are you sure? Because we just kept guard to make sure the other team wasn't looking at us."
"But you held the hacksaw."
"Well it's no heavier than a track baton," Carson obliged.
"Wow, you're a jock, on the track team, wow," Sierra stated, dumbstruck.
"Well, no, my friend is more of a jock. But I do run a lot," Carson mentioned. "But I prefer watching anime to be honest."
"That's so cool! You're well rounded! What's it like being a weebish jock?"
Confessional, Carson
It was weird to see a girl like Sierra so invested in my interests. Usually I'm cast aside. It's nice to get attention from a cute girl.
"You know my great uncle Dillys ran a squirrel preservation," Staci mentioned offhandedly to Quentin. As a laser fired in their direction, the squat girl let out a squeal. "But I've never seen any squirrel like this! It was my great aunt Henrietta who handled working with lasers!"
"Fascinating," Quentin said as he panted heavily. Looking down, a bolt of inspiration struck him as he grabbed a rock from the ground. In one fluid motion he threw the flat rock towards the squirrel, whiffing the shot by a good margin.
The rock landed in front of B as he finished his wooden device. Without a second thought he put the rock on the device and jumped on it, revealing the device to be a seesaw and catapult hybrid that launched the rock so that it hit the tower.
"Wow that's some clever engineering," Owen said with an admiring nod.
Confessional, B
The silent genius held a fist to his mouth, blew in it, and rubbed it against his coat. A sparkle of a cocky smile came from his lips as the feed ran out.
B hurriedly rushed Owen to a spot when the two heard the beeping of the bomb's timer. With fifteen minutes left, the Maggots entered a controlled frenzy to get into place. First in line? Sierra, who was launched with ease on top of the fat boy. "I get it," Sierra mentioned. "I hope Carson is next!"
To her glee, the track jock was next, and landed on top of her easily. He was summarily followed by Tyler, Violet, Gwen, Dawn and Lindsay. "This is way taller than the top of a cheerleading pyramid!" Lindsay said worriedly.
"Focus on cutting it down!" Carson called up.
"With my teeth?!" Lindsay asked worriedly.
"With the-Where's the hacksaw?!" Gwen called out.
B pulled the hacksaw out from his jacket and handed it to Owen at the bottom of the ladder. Unsteadily the hacksaw slowly made its way up and into Lindsay's hands. "I've never used this thing before!"
"Just put the saw's teeth to the rope!" Gwen shouted.
"Pretend they're steak knives!" Dawn called out.
"Just whack it against the side!" Tyler contributed.
"Oh," the tower of maggots heard. Thirty seconds later the tower fell down with a thud.
"Thanks B," Carson said. "Thanks for getting us all up there."
On the other side of the clearing Chester frustratedly and dramatically slammed his hand against a rock. "Back in my day we didn't need no girls who were confident in their looks doing everything! Here!" The old man picked up a palm sized rock and threw it at the laser squirrel.
Sufficiently peeved, the squirrel fired a beam at the rope holding the tower up, sending both Carmen and the tower tumbling. "Well that wasn't so bad," Carmen said breathlessly. She looked at DJ and flashed a smile before the tower fell over her.
"HURRY UP, YOU AREN'T THOSE LAZY HIPPIES AND YUPPIES CONSARNIT!" Chester angrily griped. The bigger guys rolled the tower in the river just ahead of the Maggots.
Both teams paddled down the river at blistering speeds. The camera cuts to Chris, Dakota, and Chef watching the competitors paddle down the river on a different large monitor in front of the common ground. "Tough lot this year," Chef noted. "Lots of strong army guys and girls."
"They're all gonna crack," Chris said, sipping from a cup that Dakota held in her hands. "And it's gonna be good T.V."
"I guess that means yes, surprises are good to go," Dakota sighed, speaking into a walkie-talkie.
Confessional, Chef
I ain't that kooky, am I?
The camera cut to the teams on their improvised canoes as they floated down. "Aw crap they're ahead!" Gwen shouted from the 'stern'.
"DUCK!" cried Tyler as their vessel drifted dangerously close to some branches.
"Where's the bird?" Lindsay called before she was whacked in the face. She clung to her face and leaned over the vessel dangerously close to the water before a red clad arm wrapped around her. "Thank you Tyler!"
The two locked eyes as Tyler breathlessly nodded, wrapping his legs tightly around the tower. The tower rolled over a rock and both teens threatened to go off of their ride before B hastily pulled out string and tied them down.
Confessional, B
B looks at the camera and rolls his eyes before shrugging.
"Lean left!" DJ called from the back of his team's tower. "Lean Right!"
"We're leaning as hard as we can dagnabbit!" Chester shouted.
"Oh shut up you old geezer!" Lightning said and smacked the lanky teen.
Chester gasped hesitantly and it was clear that Mike was back. "Where in the world are we?!" he shouted nervously.
"We're about to be very, very, very wet," Jo shouted. "HOLD ON!"
Their tower collided with the Maggot's, splashing water over the camera and campers alike. While the Rats tried to maintain balance the Maggots leaned forward and slowly gained a lead. "Hey guys, like, we're like, losing our lead, yeah," Staci said worriedly.
"Lean forward too!" Carmen shouted, bending very low against the tower.
"You know my great great great-"
"NO ONE CARES!" The Rats shouted in response.
The camera cut quickly to the trio of Chris, Chef, and Dakota while they waited where the river met the common cabin grounds. All three sipped from a coconut drink and waited awkwardly.
Another camera wipe revealed that both teams were all but neck and neck, just about to head over a roaring waterfall. B motioned for his team to aim for the side, which was enthusiastically relayed by Dawn as she held onto Gwen for dear life.
"Lean Left!" Jo shouted.
"Sha-Right!" Lightning called out.
"HOLD THE HECK ON!" Carmen yelled.
"Sit tight!" DJ said as he held onto Mike before he could fly away.
"FOLLOW ME MINIONS!" Max said at the front of the vessel.
"Brace yourselves!" Quentin said as they approached the drop.
"My great great great uncle Seth first invented braces. Before him people used blades of grass sharpened with a rock."
"SHUT UP STACI!" The team shouted.
Confessional, Staci
You know, they laugh at me now, but like, my family skills are like totally gonna lead us to victory! I sure hope you can hear me. You can hear me, Yah? It wouldn't be possible without my great uncle Henry-
"B GET TO THE FRONT!" Dawn shouted as their drop down the rapids slowed down.
"Everyone hold tight and get to the front!" Quentin shouted as he, Carmen, and DJ clung to each other for safety.
The team landed with a big splash and several of the lighter members flew off. Thinking quickly, Carson held his hand out for Sierra, which the purple haired girl grabbed immediately. Violet and Jaiden bumped into each other midair before Gwen grabbed the videogamer's hand and pulled her to the boat.
Thinking quickly, Gwen and B switched places and balanced out their raft. "That was like flying," Lindsay mentioned as she and Tyler steadied each other, to the mild bemusement of their teammates.
Confessional, Jaiden
Ah, meet cute. That's how so many great romances start! It's amazing, but statistics show that it is a fifty fifty shot of working out, but I always hope it works out. I wonder if we'll get a gay romance this season, that'd be cute.
The Maggots steadied themselves as the Rats splashed behind them. "Keep paddling!" Gwen shouted, putting her hands in the water and flailing. The others followed suit as the Rats floundered behind.
"Where's Max?!" Quentin shouted as he and Jaiden clung to the tower.
"There he is!" Carmen shouted, noticing the purple haired boy flowing down the river.
"We have to get him!" Mike shouted, picking up a stick.
"Hurry it up!" Jo said as she and LIghtning picked up more paddles to balance themselves.
The camera changed views to the hosting trio as they waited for the campers. A quick pan showed that the Maggots had floundered into view, sopping wet, thoroughly exhausted, but more importantly in the lead. "COME ON EVERYONE!" Gwen called out, pushing the tower. "LET'S GO!"
Following her lead, Dawn, B, Sierra, Carson, Tyler and Lindsay all pushed the tower up one of the pedestals. Owen collapsed at the foot of the pedestal and nudged it slightly, turning off the bomb. "So do you guys really want the classic crummy cabin?" Dakota asked. The camera zoomed out as the camera revealed that they were in front of the classic cabin.
"THE OTHER ONE!" Sierra called out. It didn't take much effort to move the tower, at the very least it was quicker work than pushing the tower. The timer on the tower read forty five seconds as it stopped.
"And the Radioactive Rats claim the fancy fancy schmancy cabin!" Chris started.
"Sponsored entirely by Milton hotels- a passion for us and a home for you," Dakota quickly said.
Before Chris could snark, the Rats flew over the campgrounds with their tower and landed on the Crummy Cabin. While they plinked off of the roof, the bomb on the Totem went down to zero seconds and blew up, sending the campers, debris, Chris, Dakota, Chef, and several interns many feet away.
Confessional, Chef
WHO IS THE NUTCASE WHO-
(Someone enters)
IT WAS I, IZZY, THE IZZIEST OF BEASTIEST! AND YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME LIEUTENANT CORPORAL CRAB LICKER!
(Smoke fills the confessional, Izzy is gone)
...that explains it.
As the dust cloud settled, Chris coughed to the side and looked at the wreckage. "Well, Rats…" He started on the keeled-over team. "You don't have a cabin, and we're going to need a lot of money to fill in this crater." Another camera showed that they were in a crater that was rather shallow but big nonetheless. "You're gonna be staying with the Maggots!"
"Oh joy," Carson said.
"Come on, it'll be fun!" Jaiden interjected, pushing herself up.
"But save the fun for later, tonight we have a marshmallow ceremony courtesy of the Rats. So, good job Maggots, you're safe!"
"Yay," Lindsay cheered as the Rats all groaned.
"Too bad my great great great uncle Carmichael wasn't here, he patented the first ever river rafting course, and before him my great great great great aunt's daughter my great great aunt's sister was the one who created oars, before her people would just have to…" Staci droned as the other campers looked at her with vague looks of annoyance.
Confessional, Quentin
Well, at least that settles it.
The luggage was dropped up in an unceremonious pile and the campers set about collecting them. "Umm, Chris?" Jaiden asked. "How do we decide where we stay?"
"There are nine bedrooms, eighteen of you, nine of each gender, figure it out," Chris said with a shrug.
"And there's food for you guys to eat. Only enough luxury meals for our nine winners," Chef chortled. "The other suckers will rely on me for dinner!"
"Elimination is in four hours," Dakota added. "Good luck everyone."
The campers climbed around their luggage and divided the pile up among them. "Hey Sierra, I found my luggage," Carson said after several minutes. "Do you need help with yours?"
"Oh, umm, sure Carson, but I only have one bag and-"
"Is it that big purple one?" Carson pointed to a giant suitcase under three lighter bags.
"Yes," Sierra said. "Here, let me get the other bags out of the way."
"Okay," Carson shrugged.
Confessional, Sierra
Wow! A true gentleman! I knew I was going to find someone nice here!
DJ and Jo found their pieces of luggage next to each other. "Man this blows!" Jo shouted, startling DJ. "Did I scare you big guy?"
"Me?" DJ pointed to himself. "Yeah, but it's all good, girl. I guess I have to face my fears at one point. Hey, good job on leading us today."
"Thank you! I'm not always recognized as the leader where I'm from, and my mom would rather me be leading on the stage, eugh."
"You mean like musicals and dance?"
"Yeah but I'm sure you and I know that football and sports are where they're at." Before DJ could reply, Quentin shifted next to DJ and Jo, picking up a large duffel bag. "You there, tank top, don't you prefer sports to theater?"
Quentin looked at Jo blankly and nodded. "It ain't my style no matter what my friends would tell you, but I do like football more than musicals."
"Did someone say sha-football?!" came a voice from behind.
"Yeah, right here fellow jock!" Jo gave a high-five to Lightning as he confidently swaggered up with a duffel bag before picking up a helmet of his own.
Confessional, Jo
Alright! It looks like I've got a bunch of goons here who know who's in charge!
The two more outspoken jocks continued their conversation, enabling DJ and Quentin to sneak away with two of their bags. "Do you play football?" Quentin asked politely.
"Yeah actually, but I prefer dancing and baking."
"Wow," Quentin said, half impressed. "Not really my style but I always appreciate it when I get a good meal. And hey, dancing is almost as athletic as football at times."
Confessional, DJ
I know people look at me at first glance and lock their doors, but that's why I took up cooking, and also keeps me close to my momma. She makes some of the best turkey pot pies out there.
Violet and Jaiden had found their luggage tangled against each other and were walking up to the door. "Oh," Violet said as she put her hand on the door. "Is it...stuck?"
"Let me see," Jaiden put down her bags and jiggled the doorknob. "Maybe this is a bonus challenge! Maybe if we open the door first we get money!"
"That would be so fun!" Violet exclaimed.
"Like that'll ever happen," Gwen said as she slammed her bags behind her. "Here." The goth pulled out a hair pin from a pocket and shaped it to match the keyhole. With a single twist the door opened up. "And our prize is...wow."
"It's almost as beautiful as the castle in Penultimate 0w0 Mythology Eight, Kingdom Dreams Level 8 - 8," Violet mentioned.
"Looks like all nine bedrooms are on the second floor, so let's drop our stuff off up there before I have to go to elimination!" Jaiden said as she walked up the stairs.
"Wanna room together Gwen?" Violet said as she packed her bags.
"I mean why not? You seem nice."
Confessional, Gwen
Yeah this place still sucks, but hey, Violet seems nice. And so does Jaiden. I guess there's room for us normal people after all!
Max strained to walk his oversized-two times as big as he- luggage up the stairs. "Do you need help there bud?" Mike asked as he carried a backpack over his shoulders.
"A villain like me does not need help!" Max cried indignantly
"If you insist," Mike replied after a moment of befuddlement. He looked around and walked up, leaving Max behind.
"Hey! Who are you to ignore me?!" Max called after him.
"Here I got you little buddy," Owen said as he pushed Max's luggage. "Wow this is really heavy."
"The only thing that matches this in mass is my almighty and all evil brain!" Max cackled. "Mush my minion, mush!"
Confessional, Max
I will model my game after that failure of a villain Scarlett, and use it as my catapult to world domination!
The other campers made their way into the cabin without much fuss. Tyler and Lindsay walked up with Tyler carrying a majority of the blond girl's luggage while Lindsay took Tyler's headband. They took neighboring rooms. While other campers found easy ways to pair off, others found themselves in an awkward situation.
"Hold on," Jaiden wondered aloud. "If all the boys pair up and all the girls pair up, then that means that one boy and one girl will have to go together."
"Well, Carson and I already have our rooms right next to each other!" Sierra shouted.
"Gwen and I have our room."
"Is it fine if I room with you?" Mike awkwardly asked Lightning.
"Sure, Sha-Lightning was gonna go with Jo but he was so insistent on getting a room with Carmen. I'm surprised Carmen doesn't want a dig at the Sha-Lightning but hey, Jo is a real alpha jock."
Confessional, Tyler
So umm, who's gonna tell him?
"Actually I have an idea," Dawn mentioned. "Just trust me on this, but I'll reside with Max and Jaiden can go with Staci."
"Max do you mind?" Jaiden asked.
"Bah, it won't matter in the long run. You all will be living under me!" Max cackled.
"Okay," Jaiden awkwardly backed away. "So Staci, roommates?"
"Hmm?" Staci looked at Dawn quizzically before she nodded. "Oh yeah, like, totally. Say you know-"
Confessional, Dawn
Trust me, I know what I'm doing. And I know what everyone else is doing. In fact-oh, can't spoil it. Where's the fun in that?
After Owen settled with B, Jo settled with Carmen, Tyler settled with Carson, Lindsay settled with Sierra, Dj settled with Quentin, Dawn settled with Max, Jaiden settled with Staci, Mike settled with Lightning, and Gwen settled with Violet, the campers walked down to the main room.
"Oh sweet, we got a gym?" Quentin said excitedly. "And a theater?"
"And a hot tub!" Tyler noticed as he glanced outside the window.
"Dinnertime for the winners!" a butler called out with a dainty silver bell. "And marshmallows for everyone on the losing team."
"Wait everyone?" Carmen nervously asked.
"Does that mean no one is going home? That we can spend more time connecting with each other?" Jaiden perked up.
"You'll find out at the elimination, but please be prompt, and quote our host," the butler started. "We're on a budget people," he said in a perfect impression of Chris' voice.
Confessional, Owen
Well, at least they get marshmallows. BUT AHWOOGA! THEY HAD LAMB OVER CRAB ALAMODE, FILET MIGNON ROASTED ON HONEYDEW OH MY I JUST WANT TO KEEP WINNING!
The camera cut to the campers at the elimination ceremony as they sat on stumps. In one the row furthest back sat Quentin and DJ. In front of them were Mike, Carmen, and Max. In front of them were Jo, Jaiden, and Lightning. At the very front sat Staci, with an empty stump on either side of her, but she didn't mind.
"In front of me, I see nine lucky campers. That's a lucky number for cats, but it's not for you guys since you all sucked in today's challenge!"
"Hey," Jo shouted. "We only sucked because they were better. That doesn't mean we'll be sucking eggs for too long."
"Zip it!" Chris said. "We're on a schedule. So, you'll all go one by one, and cast your vote in the outhouse confessional. Whoever gets the most votes shall be soaring out of here from the dock of shame."
Thoroughly confused by the statement, and infinitely more worried, the nine teens nodded. First in was Staci, followed by Lightning, Jaiden, Jo, Max, Carmen, Mike, DJ and finally, Quentin.
"The votes have been tallied. If you are eliminated today, you still get a marshmallow, but this time, our marshmallow is…" Chef showed up at Chris' side wearing a hazmat suit and a small lead box with a small window over it. "Radioactive!"
The campers gasped and flinched as Chef held it closer to them. The green glow of the marshmallow contributed to the light orange mood lighting of the campfire setting. DJ nearly fainted as he swore he felt some kind of radioactive heat from it, needing to be propped up by Quentin once the votes were announced. Jo and LIghtning gulped anxiously as they waited.
"First one safe and getting our normal marshmallow, Jaiden." She picked her marshmallow, stabbed it on a stick, and shoved the snack in her mouth.
"Jo." She caught the marshmallow and crushed it in victory.
"Mike." He failed to catch the marshmallow but was more relieved that he was safe.
"Lightning." Like Jo, he caught the marshmallow and spiked it in the ground, doing a victory dance.
"DJ." He walked nervously up to the marshmallow with hands shaking and popped it in his mouth.
"Quentin." He nodded and picked up a stick to stab the marshmallow.
"Max." He cackled before Chris threw the marshmallow in his mouth, and the supervillain momentarily choked.
"Ladies," Chris said to the remaining two. "Both of you got votes tonight. One of you got more than the other. The person who got more votes than the other will get our coveted last place trophy, the first ever radioactive marshmallow!"
Carmen and Staci looked at each other nervously as a green glow emerged on their faces. The two locked eyes and held hands tightly. "Whoever loses loses, eso si que es."
"Heh, my dad actually taught Spanish, I know that it is what it is. Good luck Carmen."
"Good Luck Staci."
Chris and the radioactive marshmallow lingered over the two girls in suspense as their breaths hitched. "The person with the most votes is… Staci."
"Aww," the chubby girl bemoaned. "But I was doing so good!" She held her hands out instinctively as Chef threw the marshmallow, only to be yanked back by Carmen. The force of the pull caused her pretty pink bow to fall down just under the marshmallow. The bow sizzled and disintegrated, becoming the molecular substance of the island Staci only knew for a day.
Amidst the gasps at the potency of the marshmallow, Staci accepted her fate. "It's the dock of shame for me I guess."
"Actually," Chris punctuated as Dakota walked up next to Chris. "We have something new in store."
"New?" DJ asked nervously.
A camera wipe took the contestants to the dock of shame where a catapult was unveiled. The projectile? None other than Staci. "Any last words?"
"That sounds like something someone on death row would say. Like my great great great great-" Dakota flipped the lever and the motormouth went flying with a single 'great' echoing through the night.
As the remaining eight made it to their cabin, they were greeted by Dawn. "I had a feeling that it would be the motormouth," Dawn mentioned.
"How'd you know that?" Quentin inquired.
"It's in your aura. You are all relieved and Staci's aura is still trailing through the night sky. Though I can tell that all of our troubles are not going to end," Dawn said ominously. "But let's solve one of them!" Dawn said perkily. "Jaiden, is it okay if I head into your room? I'm sure Max is fine with it."
Jaiden and Max looked at each other with wide eyes and nodded. "Perfect!" Dawn chirped. "There's leftovers in the kitchen!"
Confessional, Mike
Okay...she's nice but-
Confessional, Jaiden
I'd be lying-
Confessional, Quentin
-if I didn't say-
Confessional, DJ
-that of all people-
Confessional, Jo
-yes that includes Chef-
Confessional, Max
-and even me-
Confessional, Carmen
-That the Dawn girl-
Confessional, Lightning
-Is really starting to scare sha-me!
As the others trickled in, Owen stopped them. "So Dawn told us that you got rid of Staci. She seemed fun, I'm sad to see her go."
"You would actually like to talk to her?" Carmen said with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah," Owen replied. "Why does everyone look sad? Were the marshmallows terrible?"
"No," DJ chimed. "They tasted as good as any other marshmallow out there."
"Aww," Owen bemoaned. "I love marshmallows."
Confessional, Owen
I also love Sours, Sweets, Spices, Sugars, and seafood! All at the same time! But don't tell anyone, but it makes me gassy. (A small toot is heard as Owen blushes)
DJ and Quentin turned into the small fitness center and saw Tyler and Lindsay together. Though Tyler wore his usual wear...Lindsay was in something more appropriate for a European beach. As DJ nearly fainted at the sight, Quentin again sat him on a chair. "Sorry, are you guys busy?" Quentin asked.
"Oh," Tyler jumped. "No, sorry, I was just showing Lindsay some stretches for football."
"Well I can show the two of you some rock climbing stretches if you want."
"Ooh!" Lindsay cheered. "That'd be fun!"
Confessional, Tyler
Hey Quentin, I had my eyes on her first!
Upstairs, Violet and Gwen were sitting on the hallway floor. "So yeah, that's why I signed up. My little brother wants to go on with this thing so I have to show him what a bad idea this is."
"Even if you're having fun?"
"Well, after all this is done I expect to be criticized, leered at, asked for sponsors, and sell my soul to the devil," Gwen moped. "Why are you here?"
"To have fun. To see what's on the other side of a screen. Hey, even video game nerds have to do something fun."
Confessional, Violet
Gwen seems like one of those characters who starts off icy but becomes all warm and fuzzy. I'm really valuing her friendship. If I can boost my affinity with her, maybe get to at least a B+ rank support or more, then I think we can be close.
"Oooh," Chris said from outside the cabin. "It looks like we have some scheming going on here! Today was an action filled, fun filled, and more importantly, DRAMA filled day! We said goodbye to Staci, but we still have sixteen suckers to go before we crown a champion! What will happen next time? Will Lindsay choose Quentin over Tyler? Will Owen get a marshmallow? Will Violet ever stop nerding out? Find out next time on
TOTAL
DRAMA
REVENGE OF THE ISLAND!"
The camera cut one more time to show Staci bobbing up and down in the waters of lake Wawanakwa, missing her bow. She floundered a bit more before head intern Dakota pulled her out of the water. "Come on Staci," Dakota said reassuringly. "We're taking you to Playa De los Losers."
The chatterbox flopped in the boat and found herself next to a tied-up Izzy. "Don't ask, I'm sure you can tell why she's here."
Final Confessional, Staci
Well like, this totally sucks. I like, could have told you so much about my family and used it to get ahead in the game! Like, my mom is a post office worker and she walks at least six hundred miles a day! Or how my dad was once a Spanish to French translator for this one diplomat during a Japan, Canada, and France convention! Or how my great great great-
Votes
DJ: Yeah that Staci girl, kind of annoying.
Quentin: Yeah I'm voting for Staci.
Jo: Bye bye Staci Mctalksalot.
Carmen: That Staci chick needs to learn how to put a sock in it.
Jaiden: I guess I'm going to vote for Staci tonight.
Mike: Yeah… that Staci may be a bit more crazy than me
Max: Staci, Eugh, when I take over the world your voice will be the soundtrack to punishment
Lightning: Sha-Staci duh
Staci: I'm going to vote for Carmen because my great great great…. Camera cuts off..
Scenes From the Next Episode
Confessional, Tyler
What's Quentin's deal, man? You don't flirt with a girl after a guy has been with her, that's like, against the guy bro code!
"MY MINIONS!" Max bellowed from the top of the stairs. "Who said you can feast without me? Your Big Supreme ruler?"
"Well that's no fun!" Chris whined. "Today we're going into your deepest darkest secrets and finding out what makes you embarrassed! Welcome to Truth or Shark! To demonstrate today's challenge we have a cameo from two campers, meet-
Carrying a pile of books in his hands Carson suddenly tumbled down the stairs. "Oh here you go Carson," Gwen said with a roll of her eyes. "Fifty shades of chicken?"
"I'M NOT A FURRY!" Carson shouted, jumping out the window.
Dj peered over the pile of books before picking up 50 shades of chicken. "Oh there's my mom's cookbook."
"There's some kind of weird...shark thing down there!" Mike nervously reported.
"Oh him? That's Fang. He pulls double duty," Dakota explained. "We found him when we were putting in the luxury cabin."
"Yeah, he's sort of the keeper of Wawanakwa's waters," Chef said. "CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH THIS DANG THING?! MY DRESS IS CHAFING!"
Dawn looked over the thousand foot cliff before suddenly pulling out a paintball gun. "Now it's Dawn of the Dead," she cackled.
The mystical girl turned around and fired a shot into Owen's chest. "My boingloings…they taste like burning…" he moaned before rolling down the hill.
Author Commentary, Rj
It's been a while everyone and we hope you enjoyed this chapter. This cast is definitely wackier and denser than the previous ones. We're still trying to blend the strategy angle to all this. Let us know what you think with the reviews from the chapter. We're excited to get to work on the next season of Total Blended Drama. Staci was an obvious first boot but we did try to sprinkle some development in for her. We will be modifying some of the canon challenges like this one, there will be one episode featuring the eliminated contestants, and there will be at least one original
Author Commentary, Trygve
This has been a long time coming but we appreciate your patience. Please leave reviews and join the Discord server. And check out TD Reddit for interviews and cast photos of the cast. u/Trygve11. You'll find the Discord link under the cast photo post as well.
Eliminations:
18th: Staci 8-1
Teams
Toxic Rats: DJ, Quentin, Jo, Carmen, Jaiden, Mike, Owen, Lightning
Mutant Maggots: Carson, Sierra, Tyler, Violet, Gwen, Lindsay, Max, B, Dawn