a/n: In a review, someone told me I spelled "Hogwarts" wrong in the title. But I think I'm going to leave it like that because it sort of looks funny.
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MINI ME: Smelling like Fat Bastard? That's a death potion!

FRAU: No, it's worse!

MEANWHILE............................................

RON: Harry, when's the next Quidditch practice?

HARRY: I don't know. We're gonna need a new captain since Wood graduated.

RON: Hey, maybe you could be captain! You are the best on the team.

HARRY: I don't think so.

:::Harry and Ron are still talking about Quidditch when they see a large black dog in the hallway:::::::::

HARRY: Sirius!

:::::Sirius the dog runs away, and they follow him into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Sirius transforms into a human.::::::::::::::

SIRIUS: I don't think anyone will find us here. Harry, did you know that some evil peopl-

HARRY: Yes. Unfortunetly, yes.

RON: We've had an unfortunate meeting in the hallway.

SIRIUS: Listen. You have to get them out of here. FAST.

HARRY: Why?

SIRIUS: Didn't you watch the Austin Powers movie?!?

RON: What's a movie?

SIRIUS: Oh, never mind. Well, these guys are up to no good. You are going to have to get them out of here. Oh- and where's Hermione?

RON: She's gotten the flu.

SIRIUS: Tell her to get well soon. Please try to get those people to leave!

HARRY: I especially want to get rid of the one that rode my broom.

MEANWHILE..................................

::::In Dumbledore's office, where Snape's showing Dumbledore the "magic stick":::::::::::::

DUMBLEDORE: This is indeed an important discovery, and-

::::Fat Bastard and Mini Me burst in through the door::::

SNAPE: How did YOU get in here?!?

MINI ME: He crashed in. There's this big Fat Bastard shaped hole in your wall. We're not paying for repairs.

FAT BASTARD: GIVE ME MY MAGIC STICK!!!!!!

SNAPE: This is school property!

FAT BASTARD: OH YEAH??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?? ::::lunges toward Snape::::

SNAPE: AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MINI ME: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DR. EVIL: There you are!

MCGONAGALL: ::::::ignoring the commotion:::::: It's time for transfiguration! The others are already in my room. Come on.

FAT BASTARD: I'm not going anywhere without my magic stick.

MCGONAGALL: Then you leave me no choice. Accio fat guy!

::::Fat Bastard rises a couple feet in the air, and then the spell makes him lungle toward McGonagall.

MCGONAGALL: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!! :::::runs away, with Fat Bastard following, suspended in the air::::::::::

MINI ME: Ha! Hey lady, don't worry, anyone can outrun him!

MCGONAGALL: ::::::still screaming:::::::

FAT BASTARD: :::::still following::::::::

DR. EVIL: Oh dear. It looks like that lady is going to be... squashed? MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

MCGONAGALL: Reverse spell! REVERSE SPELL!

:::Fat Bastard hits the ground, and a sort of earthquake hits the whole school, and some people also feel it in Africa.::::

MINI ME: That McGonagall person wants us for trans-iggy-nation or whatever.

SNAPE: I'LL GET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MINI ME & DR. EVIL & FAT BASTARD: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :::::run out of Dumbledore's office, closely followed by Snape::::::::

DUMBLEDORE: :::::ignoring them::::::: Hmm.... I ought to try out this "magic stick," just to see if it works. Bring me coffee! :::::coffee appears:::::::: It really does work!

FAT BASTARD: :::running past dumbledore's office, stopping for a second:::::: You can really get used to that magic stick! ::::runs away, with Snape following and angrily crying out disgusting swearwords::::::

DUMBLEDORE: Hmm......magic stick, bring those three to the Transfiguration room! ::::Mini Me, Dr. Evil, and Fat Bastard get transported to the room. Snape stands there for a second, bewildered, and then looks at Dumbledore in shock:::::::::

SNAPE: Why'd you do that?

DUMBLEDORE: We can't have them being late for class.

SNAPE: ARRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!! AM I THE ONLY SANE PERSON IN THIS GODFORSAKEN SCHOOL?!?!?!!??!?

HARRY: No, it's just the opposite!

SNAPE: 50 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!

HARRY: But it's opposite day! Since it's opposite day, you meant you were insane, and I meant the opposite of what I said! So I didn't actually say anything bad!... although if I wasn't saying anything against you being insane, that isn't too good... but still, you are the one who said it-

SNAPE: ANOTHER 50 POINTS FOR BEING SMART WITH ME!

RON: Let's go, Harry, before he takes anything else off.

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to be continued!!!!

please review!!!!!