Setting: Sunnydale, CA: Street: Spike:
Spike: I can't believe I bloody can't drive out of this town. Do I have to be invited out? Damn force field. *pulls out a stake* Oh well. Maybe I should just give in and go vamp hunting.
*A vampire jumps down from the top of a building, un-vamped.*
Spike: Oh, you're dust- *takes a better look at the vamp* --WILLOW??? Someone got to you first I see.
VampWillow: *vamps out* I am not that Willow. I'm uh Willowus.
Spike: Stick with Willow. Or VampWill. *laughs* Either way, I get to stake you!
VampWill: No, I believe not, dear my you are a cute one.
Spike: Really?
VampWill: But of course.
*VampWill walks down the alley and Spike follows, with his tongue hanging out.*
VampWill: We'll be best friends. What a good puppy.
*VampWill walks out to Willow sitting on a park bench with Xander. Spike follows.*
VampWill: Good to see you, Willow. Looking timid as ever.
*Willow jumps up and stakes her. Spike snaps out of it.*
Spike: HEY!!!
Xander: Ooops, did she kill your new girlfriend?
Spike: Well, no. It would be too awkward, her looking like Willow and all. No offense, Willow dear.
Willow: None taken.
Xander: Hey, where's my car!?!
Spike: Down the street. Some stupid force field wouldn't allow me to drive out of Sunnydale.
Willow: And that would be my handy work. You may all thank me later.
Spike: Spell? I should have known better. Oh well. Let's go hunting! I get to stake the next one though, Willow.
Willow: Okay. Whatever.
Xander: Mmm hmm.
*Spike sits down next to Xander and Willow.*
Spike: *Humming "My Way".* Hmm mmm hmm hmm. MYYYYYY WAYYY!!!!!!!!!!
Xander: Ok, who drugged Spike's blood? He's obviously high.
Willow: Can vampires get high? They can't inhale. *starts cracking up and gets funny looks from Spike and Xander.* Get it? *Ahem* Nevermind. Willow joke.
Xander: Uh huh.
Willow: Well, we better head back now, huh Xander?
Xander: Wha- ok. Yeah.
Spike: Oh, sure. You need get home. Leave Spike all alone. Leave me here with the rest of the vampires. Sure.
*Willow and Xander leave while Spike talks to himself.*
Spike: Yep, all alone.
Faith: I wouldn't say that.
Spike: What the?
Faith: Die vampire!
*Faith tries to stake Spike, but he moves and kicks her to the ground. He's quite surprised.*
Spike: What in the name of God's green earth! I can only hurt evil things!
Faith: Well, hey then I guess you consider me evil. Now consider you dead.
Spike: Not so fast, missy. I know the Slayer. Why, we're practically best friends.
Faith: Buffy?
Spike: Yeah! Buffy!
Faith: Sorry, that only makes me wanna kill you more.
Spike: She'll kick your ass.
Faith: Been there, done that. But now after my little nap, I'm ready for her.
Spike: You fought the Slayer? Who are you?
Faith: Let's get this straight. As far as I'm concerned, I am the Slayer. The only Slayer. Faith, the Vampire Slayer.
Spike: You're Faith? Huh. Really. We have more in common than you know. The only reason you are a Slayer is because my EX girlfriend, whom I dumped, killed the last one before you.
Faith: Are you Spike?
Spike: Yes, I am.
Faith: Cool. You're lucky, I'm not gonna kill you now.
Spike: Thank you kindly.
"Agent Finn": Miss, please step away from that man. He is dangerous.
Faith: What the hell is this? When did the commandos come to town? Boy, you better back up off of me because I'm the Slayer and what I say goes.
Riley: No, your not. Buffy is. And that's Hostel 17!
Spike: Don't worry, I'm of no use to you. I'm like a little bunny now. All I can hurt is evil stuff. Keep you pants on.
Faith: Or if you'd like, you can take them off.
*Faith steps closer to Riley*
Riley: I think Buffy's told me about you. Evil Slayer.
Faith: Yep, that's me.
Buffy: What is wrong with my world? It used to be so calm. Now here before me I see Spike, Riley, and Faith. Have a nice nap, sleeping beauty?
*Buffy walks up to Faith.*
Faith: Yeah. I'm sure you remember our little joust. That put me in a coma for seven months.
*Faith lifts up her shirt and shows Buffy a big scar across her abdomen.*
Faith: You did this to me, remember? You almost killed me. But now I'm back and ready. And this time your little boyfriend Angel will die, too.
Spike: Sorry to interrupt children, but Angel, the little-- *ahem* Buffy seems to have a new boyfriend, which you have met.
Faith: Who, Commando Boy over here? Well B, you've moved up. He breathes, and *places her hand on Riley's chest* ooh, has a heartbeat! And I'm sure he's not a day over twenty. Not too old for ya.
*Buffy ends her seething in silence.*
Buffy: Want me to kill you now, or wait a few seconds?
Faith: Is that a threat, B?
Buffy: Have it your way, F.
Spike: Now hold on here, just one minute.
Buffy: What do you want?
Spike: You've fought before, correct?
Faith: Yeah? And?
Spike: She kicked you ass, Faith?
Buffy: Oh, yeah.
Faith: I believe he asked me Buff. Yeah, but it won't happen again.
Spike: That's what we all say. And we fight her more. And we lose. And then we come back to Sunnydale for some damn ring that ends up being destroyed anyway, get our asses kicked once more, get operated on to turn into a harmless bunny, and waste away, only unliving to kill evil things. I mean I can't even bite anything good. Oh, Buffy, can I feed on her? Please? I can now! She's evil! You were just gonna kill her anyway! Pleeeeassseeee!
Buffy: Sure.
Faith: Yeah, you can bite me anytime.
Spike: Yeah?
Faith: Yeah.
Riley: Is it just me, or are they flirting?
Buffy: Wouldn't be the first time Spike had a girlfriend without a full deck.
Riley: She's looney, too?
Buffy: Mmmmmmm hmm.
Setting: Sunnydale, CA: Angel's Mansion: Haliwells: Talking:
Prue: We're here all alone.
Phe: Heh heh heh...
Piper: Don't get any ideas.
Phe: Does Angel have an undie drawer?
* They all look at each other, then get up and run to Angel's room, giggling. Angel comes in the front door.*
Angel: Hello?
*Angel hears giggling and goes towards the sound. He goes in his room and sees the sisters in the act.*
Prue: Uh, there's a reasonable explanation for all of this.
Angel: What besides the fact that I'm gay, and there's no other way you'd ever get to see them?
Piper: Well, there's that.
Dan (OS): Angel, dear!
*Dan comes in the room*
Dan: Oh, crap! I didn't know you guys were here! Piper, I was gonna tell you, but-
Angel: Everyone, meet my lover, Dan.
Prue: Oh.
Phe: My.
Piper: Goddess.
*Leo rushes in.*
Leo: Piper! Now we can be together, since he's gay and all!
Piper: Ok!
*Leo and Piper start kissing.*
Prue: So when did this happen?
Dan: We met in LA.
Phe: When were you in LA?
Angel: *wicked smile* Long story.
Prue: You do know he's a vampire, Dan?
Dan: What??? You bastard! You said, "No more secrets!"
Angel: Now honey, it was for your own protection.
Dan: Really?
Angel: Really.
Dan: I love you, Angel!
Angel: I love you, Dan!
*Angel and Dan start kissing. Spike rushes in.*
Spike: Yo, yo, yo! I mean ha, ha, ha! I told you he was gay! Makes me want to heave. And roll on the floor laughing my ass off at the same time.
*Spike rushes out.*
Prue: Ok. Is this some magick spell messing everyone and everything up?
Phe: I fear there is no magick here. Maybe magic. The magic of true love.
Prue: Makes me want to heave.
Spike: I can't believe I bloody can't drive out of this town. Do I have to be invited out? Damn force field. *pulls out a stake* Oh well. Maybe I should just give in and go vamp hunting.
*A vampire jumps down from the top of a building, un-vamped.*
Spike: Oh, you're dust- *takes a better look at the vamp* --WILLOW??? Someone got to you first I see.
VampWillow: *vamps out* I am not that Willow. I'm uh Willowus.
Spike: Stick with Willow. Or VampWill. *laughs* Either way, I get to stake you!
VampWill: No, I believe not, dear my you are a cute one.
Spike: Really?
VampWill: But of course.
*VampWill walks down the alley and Spike follows, with his tongue hanging out.*
VampWill: We'll be best friends. What a good puppy.
*VampWill walks out to Willow sitting on a park bench with Xander. Spike follows.*
VampWill: Good to see you, Willow. Looking timid as ever.
*Willow jumps up and stakes her. Spike snaps out of it.*
Spike: HEY!!!
Xander: Ooops, did she kill your new girlfriend?
Spike: Well, no. It would be too awkward, her looking like Willow and all. No offense, Willow dear.
Willow: None taken.
Xander: Hey, where's my car!?!
Spike: Down the street. Some stupid force field wouldn't allow me to drive out of Sunnydale.
Willow: And that would be my handy work. You may all thank me later.
Spike: Spell? I should have known better. Oh well. Let's go hunting! I get to stake the next one though, Willow.
Willow: Okay. Whatever.
Xander: Mmm hmm.
*Spike sits down next to Xander and Willow.*
Spike: *Humming "My Way".* Hmm mmm hmm hmm. MYYYYYY WAYYY!!!!!!!!!!
Xander: Ok, who drugged Spike's blood? He's obviously high.
Willow: Can vampires get high? They can't inhale. *starts cracking up and gets funny looks from Spike and Xander.* Get it? *Ahem* Nevermind. Willow joke.
Xander: Uh huh.
Willow: Well, we better head back now, huh Xander?
Xander: Wha- ok. Yeah.
Spike: Oh, sure. You need get home. Leave Spike all alone. Leave me here with the rest of the vampires. Sure.
*Willow and Xander leave while Spike talks to himself.*
Spike: Yep, all alone.
Faith: I wouldn't say that.
Spike: What the?
Faith: Die vampire!
*Faith tries to stake Spike, but he moves and kicks her to the ground. He's quite surprised.*
Spike: What in the name of God's green earth! I can only hurt evil things!
Faith: Well, hey then I guess you consider me evil. Now consider you dead.
Spike: Not so fast, missy. I know the Slayer. Why, we're practically best friends.
Faith: Buffy?
Spike: Yeah! Buffy!
Faith: Sorry, that only makes me wanna kill you more.
Spike: She'll kick your ass.
Faith: Been there, done that. But now after my little nap, I'm ready for her.
Spike: You fought the Slayer? Who are you?
Faith: Let's get this straight. As far as I'm concerned, I am the Slayer. The only Slayer. Faith, the Vampire Slayer.
Spike: You're Faith? Huh. Really. We have more in common than you know. The only reason you are a Slayer is because my EX girlfriend, whom I dumped, killed the last one before you.
Faith: Are you Spike?
Spike: Yes, I am.
Faith: Cool. You're lucky, I'm not gonna kill you now.
Spike: Thank you kindly.
"Agent Finn": Miss, please step away from that man. He is dangerous.
Faith: What the hell is this? When did the commandos come to town? Boy, you better back up off of me because I'm the Slayer and what I say goes.
Riley: No, your not. Buffy is. And that's Hostel 17!
Spike: Don't worry, I'm of no use to you. I'm like a little bunny now. All I can hurt is evil stuff. Keep you pants on.
Faith: Or if you'd like, you can take them off.
*Faith steps closer to Riley*
Riley: I think Buffy's told me about you. Evil Slayer.
Faith: Yep, that's me.
Buffy: What is wrong with my world? It used to be so calm. Now here before me I see Spike, Riley, and Faith. Have a nice nap, sleeping beauty?
*Buffy walks up to Faith.*
Faith: Yeah. I'm sure you remember our little joust. That put me in a coma for seven months.
*Faith lifts up her shirt and shows Buffy a big scar across her abdomen.*
Faith: You did this to me, remember? You almost killed me. But now I'm back and ready. And this time your little boyfriend Angel will die, too.
Spike: Sorry to interrupt children, but Angel, the little-- *ahem* Buffy seems to have a new boyfriend, which you have met.
Faith: Who, Commando Boy over here? Well B, you've moved up. He breathes, and *places her hand on Riley's chest* ooh, has a heartbeat! And I'm sure he's not a day over twenty. Not too old for ya.
*Buffy ends her seething in silence.*
Buffy: Want me to kill you now, or wait a few seconds?
Faith: Is that a threat, B?
Buffy: Have it your way, F.
Spike: Now hold on here, just one minute.
Buffy: What do you want?
Spike: You've fought before, correct?
Faith: Yeah? And?
Spike: She kicked you ass, Faith?
Buffy: Oh, yeah.
Faith: I believe he asked me Buff. Yeah, but it won't happen again.
Spike: That's what we all say. And we fight her more. And we lose. And then we come back to Sunnydale for some damn ring that ends up being destroyed anyway, get our asses kicked once more, get operated on to turn into a harmless bunny, and waste away, only unliving to kill evil things. I mean I can't even bite anything good. Oh, Buffy, can I feed on her? Please? I can now! She's evil! You were just gonna kill her anyway! Pleeeeassseeee!
Buffy: Sure.
Faith: Yeah, you can bite me anytime.
Spike: Yeah?
Faith: Yeah.
Riley: Is it just me, or are they flirting?
Buffy: Wouldn't be the first time Spike had a girlfriend without a full deck.
Riley: She's looney, too?
Buffy: Mmmmmmm hmm.
Setting: Sunnydale, CA: Angel's Mansion: Haliwells: Talking:
Prue: We're here all alone.
Phe: Heh heh heh...
Piper: Don't get any ideas.
Phe: Does Angel have an undie drawer?
* They all look at each other, then get up and run to Angel's room, giggling. Angel comes in the front door.*
Angel: Hello?
*Angel hears giggling and goes towards the sound. He goes in his room and sees the sisters in the act.*
Prue: Uh, there's a reasonable explanation for all of this.
Angel: What besides the fact that I'm gay, and there's no other way you'd ever get to see them?
Piper: Well, there's that.
Dan (OS): Angel, dear!
*Dan comes in the room*
Dan: Oh, crap! I didn't know you guys were here! Piper, I was gonna tell you, but-
Angel: Everyone, meet my lover, Dan.
Prue: Oh.
Phe: My.
Piper: Goddess.
*Leo rushes in.*
Leo: Piper! Now we can be together, since he's gay and all!
Piper: Ok!
*Leo and Piper start kissing.*
Prue: So when did this happen?
Dan: We met in LA.
Phe: When were you in LA?
Angel: *wicked smile* Long story.
Prue: You do know he's a vampire, Dan?
Dan: What??? You bastard! You said, "No more secrets!"
Angel: Now honey, it was for your own protection.
Dan: Really?
Angel: Really.
Dan: I love you, Angel!
Angel: I love you, Dan!
*Angel and Dan start kissing. Spike rushes in.*
Spike: Yo, yo, yo! I mean ha, ha, ha! I told you he was gay! Makes me want to heave. And roll on the floor laughing my ass off at the same time.
*Spike rushes out.*
Prue: Ok. Is this some magick spell messing everyone and everything up?
Phe: I fear there is no magick here. Maybe magic. The magic of true love.
Prue: Makes me want to heave.