Setting: Hobbesmobile: Fawkes and Hobbes and WC:
*WC is sitting in the back looking at all the high-tech equipment.*
Hobbes: I just had to get outta there.
Fawkes: I understand, man.
Hobbes: I know you do.
Fawkes: That was pretty...
Hobbes: *gets googly* Awesome.
Fawkes: I was gunna go with gutsy.
*WC pushes a button on a box and a syringe flies out and hits the other wall of the van.*
WC: Ooops.
Fawkes: Careful, dear.
WC: *sniffle* I sorry.
Fawkes: It's ok. I think there's a WORKING computer back there.
WC: OMFG! No way! There's no such thing as a fully-functional WORKING computer!
Fawkes: Yes, there is!
WC: OMG! And how was it discovered?
Fawkes: We work for the government. We get all kindsa sweet crap.
Hobbes: *giggles* Sweet crap.
*WC finds the computer and bows down to it.*
WC: Ahhhmmmm... Ahmmmm... Ahmmm...
Hobbes: Soo...
Fawkes: And why was it you had to get outta there?
Hobbes: Because. It was all. Scary.
Fawkes: Yeah, kinda. Kinda not like Keeply to do that.
*All of a sudden bullets fly out at them. The van swirves.*
Hobbes & Fawkes & WC: Aw crap. *pause* *they all laugh*
*Hobbes stops the car and they run behind it. Darien looks down at his tattoo. Two to go, but he has to risk it. He goes all silvery and sneaks around the car. He sees a gun floating and Arnaud. Cuz he can see him when he's invisible ^_^*
Fawkes: Arnaud. That bastard. URGH! I hate him.
Arnaud: Why? Because my hair is cooler than yours? Or is it the sexy accent?
Fawkes: Shut up.
*Fawkes lunges at Arnaud and knocks the gun outta his hands. He punches him. Arnaud rolls and pins Fawkes. He picks up the gun and points it down at him. He then gets up, and spins quickly and aims at WC.*
Fawkes: Nuh uh.
*He aims back and forth between all of them.*
Arnaud: Eeenie... *points to Fawkes* Meenie... *points to Hobbes* Miney... *points to WC. swings it in a circle and points it back to WC.* Moe. *fires. it hits WC in her shoulder*
WC: Uh UH! Darien, kick his pansy ASS!
*WC slumps to the ground. Hobbes rips of part of his shirt and tries to bandage WC's shoulder. Arnaud points the gun at Fawkes and Fawkes stares at him, very angry. His eyes appear, and they are red.*
Arnaud: Oh, shit.
Fawkes: *crazy voice* That's right.
*Fawkes swings his arm and knocks the gun outta Arnaud's hands. He quickly ducks and rolls as Arnaud swings at him, and picks up the gun. He stands back up, and points it at Arnaud*
Fawkes: Bye, bye.
*He shoots, he scores. Arnaud falls to the ground. WC gets up and goes to Fawkes. He turns visible she looks at his tattoo. All red.*
WC: He's Quicksilver Mad.
Hobbes: We have to get him to-- urgh. I don't want to see her again.
Fawkes: *puts on his shades* Then why go see her? I'm fiiine.
Hobbes: Because if you stay mad long enough, it can't be reversed and we dunno what could happen.
Fawkes: *shrugs* Eh.
WC: Well, let's wait awhile.
Hobbes: WHAT!?
*WC looks at Hobbes, meaningfully. He gets it.*
WC: *giggles* Come on, lets get in the van.
*They climb into the van, Hobbes driving and Fawkes & WC sitting in the back.*
WC: Did I ever mention that insanity turns me OONNN...?
Fawkes: Meow.
*Fawkes kisses her. Hobbes rolls his eyes*
Hobbes: Oh god.
*They drive and drive and reach the Department. WC drags Fawkes out.*
Fawkes: No, I don't wanna come here!
WC: Dear, they aren't gunna touch you. *runs her finger down his torso* I wouldn't want them to.
Fawkes: Allright, but if there are ANY needles...
WC: I promise. *kisses him.*
*They walk in.*
Fawkes: *shrugs* 'Kay. *yells* Guess who killed Arnaud???
*Official pops up on the TV and Claire runs out.*
Official: You killed him?
Claire: Oh my.
*Fawkes takes off the sunglasses*
Fawkes: Yes, I did.
Claire: He's-- I'll go get the....
WC: NO!
Official: Young lady--
WC: Not now. Later. He already killed who he wanted to kill, what damage could he possibly do now???
Official: Lots.
WC: Ok, then how much compared to when he's not Quicksilver Mad?
Official: I see your point.
WC: Everyone always seems to do that. *smiles* Later. I promise.
Official: Ok. O-man out, yo!
*The TV turns off*
WC: But while we have you like this... Bobby, can I borrow the van?
Hobbes: _No._
WC: Urgh. Oh I have an idea.
*snappies, she and Fawkes are in a condo above the Department*
Hobbes: Oh dear.
*The room clears out, leaving Hobbes and Claire.*
Hobbes: Um.
Claire: So.
*pause*
Claire & Hobbes: I'm sorry. No-- I. *laugh*
Claire: I shouldn't have done that.
Hobbes: No. I shouldn't have ran out.
Claire: Let's stop kidding ourselves and go *BLLEEEEEEEP*.
*They run out as fast as they can. Angel and Wes and Cordy and Gunn and Lorne run back in.*
Angel: They're done.
*Cordy looks around*
Cordy: This is no LA.
Gunn: No, it's San Deigo. But there is no LA. So this is better than LA. Because it doesn't exist. I mean, do you wanna live on a field of grass.
Cordy: No.
Wesley: Think of a cool catch phrase yet, Gunn?
Gunn: No, I'm thinking I need a quirky personality idiosynchracy type thing instead.
Cordy: Like what?
Wesley: You're already only the 3rd African-American on this bloody show...
Gunn: HEY man why does it always have to be about me being BLACK??
Cordy: Both of you shut up. This world is waaaay too over-sensitive. I mean I get special and sometimes not so special treatment, depending on the situation, beacuse I look/act like a slut. And I don't go around saying "is it because I'm a slut?"
Angel: "Is it because I'm a vampire?"
Wesley: "Is it because I'm English?"
Angel: "Is it because I'm Irish?"
Wesley: "Is it because I wear glasses?"
Angel: "Is it the hair, I can change it if you want."
Wesley: "NO! NO! Please, I'll give you my lunch money just don't--" *ahem* Nevermind.
Cordy: Poor Wes.
*The doorbell rings*
Angel: Were we.. expecting... anyone?
Wesley: I don't beleive so.
*Lorne answers the door. He screams. There WC & Fawkes stand. Fawkes has QS'd from the neck up and done the same to WC. They are dressed like Jehovah's Witnesses.*
Fawkes: Would you like a Bible?
Lorne: Um. No.
Fawkes: You have to. It's the word of the Lord.
Lorne: I'm from Pylea, we have no Lord.
Fawkes: Is that some sorta heathen word for hell?
WC: *southern belle accent* Well I do not know...
Lorne: Um. Bye.
*Lorne tries to shut the door but Fawkes puts his foot in the way*
Fawkes: Please! Take a Bible!
*Lorne struggles and shuts the door*
Angel: Who was it?
Lorne: Headless Darien and WC posing as Jehovah's Witnesses.
Angel: They are so annoying.
Lorne: Jehovah's Witnesses?
Angel: Yeah, whatever.
*WC is sitting in the back looking at all the high-tech equipment.*
Hobbes: I just had to get outta there.
Fawkes: I understand, man.
Hobbes: I know you do.
Fawkes: That was pretty...
Hobbes: *gets googly* Awesome.
Fawkes: I was gunna go with gutsy.
*WC pushes a button on a box and a syringe flies out and hits the other wall of the van.*
WC: Ooops.
Fawkes: Careful, dear.
WC: *sniffle* I sorry.
Fawkes: It's ok. I think there's a WORKING computer back there.
WC: OMFG! No way! There's no such thing as a fully-functional WORKING computer!
Fawkes: Yes, there is!
WC: OMG! And how was it discovered?
Fawkes: We work for the government. We get all kindsa sweet crap.
Hobbes: *giggles* Sweet crap.
*WC finds the computer and bows down to it.*
WC: Ahhhmmmm... Ahmmmm... Ahmmm...
Hobbes: Soo...
Fawkes: And why was it you had to get outta there?
Hobbes: Because. It was all. Scary.
Fawkes: Yeah, kinda. Kinda not like Keeply to do that.
*All of a sudden bullets fly out at them. The van swirves.*
Hobbes & Fawkes & WC: Aw crap. *pause* *they all laugh*
*Hobbes stops the car and they run behind it. Darien looks down at his tattoo. Two to go, but he has to risk it. He goes all silvery and sneaks around the car. He sees a gun floating and Arnaud. Cuz he can see him when he's invisible ^_^*
Fawkes: Arnaud. That bastard. URGH! I hate him.
Arnaud: Why? Because my hair is cooler than yours? Or is it the sexy accent?
Fawkes: Shut up.
*Fawkes lunges at Arnaud and knocks the gun outta his hands. He punches him. Arnaud rolls and pins Fawkes. He picks up the gun and points it down at him. He then gets up, and spins quickly and aims at WC.*
Fawkes: Nuh uh.
*He aims back and forth between all of them.*
Arnaud: Eeenie... *points to Fawkes* Meenie... *points to Hobbes* Miney... *points to WC. swings it in a circle and points it back to WC.* Moe. *fires. it hits WC in her shoulder*
WC: Uh UH! Darien, kick his pansy ASS!
*WC slumps to the ground. Hobbes rips of part of his shirt and tries to bandage WC's shoulder. Arnaud points the gun at Fawkes and Fawkes stares at him, very angry. His eyes appear, and they are red.*
Arnaud: Oh, shit.
Fawkes: *crazy voice* That's right.
*Fawkes swings his arm and knocks the gun outta Arnaud's hands. He quickly ducks and rolls as Arnaud swings at him, and picks up the gun. He stands back up, and points it at Arnaud*
Fawkes: Bye, bye.
*He shoots, he scores. Arnaud falls to the ground. WC gets up and goes to Fawkes. He turns visible she looks at his tattoo. All red.*
WC: He's Quicksilver Mad.
Hobbes: We have to get him to-- urgh. I don't want to see her again.
Fawkes: *puts on his shades* Then why go see her? I'm fiiine.
Hobbes: Because if you stay mad long enough, it can't be reversed and we dunno what could happen.
Fawkes: *shrugs* Eh.
WC: Well, let's wait awhile.
Hobbes: WHAT!?
*WC looks at Hobbes, meaningfully. He gets it.*
WC: *giggles* Come on, lets get in the van.
*They climb into the van, Hobbes driving and Fawkes & WC sitting in the back.*
WC: Did I ever mention that insanity turns me OONNN...?
Fawkes: Meow.
*Fawkes kisses her. Hobbes rolls his eyes*
Hobbes: Oh god.
*They drive and drive and reach the Department. WC drags Fawkes out.*
Fawkes: No, I don't wanna come here!
WC: Dear, they aren't gunna touch you. *runs her finger down his torso* I wouldn't want them to.
Fawkes: Allright, but if there are ANY needles...
WC: I promise. *kisses him.*
*They walk in.*
Fawkes: *shrugs* 'Kay. *yells* Guess who killed Arnaud???
*Official pops up on the TV and Claire runs out.*
Official: You killed him?
Claire: Oh my.
*Fawkes takes off the sunglasses*
Fawkes: Yes, I did.
Claire: He's-- I'll go get the....
WC: NO!
Official: Young lady--
WC: Not now. Later. He already killed who he wanted to kill, what damage could he possibly do now???
Official: Lots.
WC: Ok, then how much compared to when he's not Quicksilver Mad?
Official: I see your point.
WC: Everyone always seems to do that. *smiles* Later. I promise.
Official: Ok. O-man out, yo!
*The TV turns off*
WC: But while we have you like this... Bobby, can I borrow the van?
Hobbes: _No._
WC: Urgh. Oh I have an idea.
*snappies, she and Fawkes are in a condo above the Department*
Hobbes: Oh dear.
*The room clears out, leaving Hobbes and Claire.*
Hobbes: Um.
Claire: So.
*pause*
Claire & Hobbes: I'm sorry. No-- I. *laugh*
Claire: I shouldn't have done that.
Hobbes: No. I shouldn't have ran out.
Claire: Let's stop kidding ourselves and go *BLLEEEEEEEP*.
*They run out as fast as they can. Angel and Wes and Cordy and Gunn and Lorne run back in.*
Angel: They're done.
*Cordy looks around*
Cordy: This is no LA.
Gunn: No, it's San Deigo. But there is no LA. So this is better than LA. Because it doesn't exist. I mean, do you wanna live on a field of grass.
Cordy: No.
Wesley: Think of a cool catch phrase yet, Gunn?
Gunn: No, I'm thinking I need a quirky personality idiosynchracy type thing instead.
Cordy: Like what?
Wesley: You're already only the 3rd African-American on this bloody show...
Gunn: HEY man why does it always have to be about me being BLACK??
Cordy: Both of you shut up. This world is waaaay too over-sensitive. I mean I get special and sometimes not so special treatment, depending on the situation, beacuse I look/act like a slut. And I don't go around saying "is it because I'm a slut?"
Angel: "Is it because I'm a vampire?"
Wesley: "Is it because I'm English?"
Angel: "Is it because I'm Irish?"
Wesley: "Is it because I wear glasses?"
Angel: "Is it the hair, I can change it if you want."
Wesley: "NO! NO! Please, I'll give you my lunch money just don't--" *ahem* Nevermind.
Cordy: Poor Wes.
*The doorbell rings*
Angel: Were we.. expecting... anyone?
Wesley: I don't beleive so.
*Lorne answers the door. He screams. There WC & Fawkes stand. Fawkes has QS'd from the neck up and done the same to WC. They are dressed like Jehovah's Witnesses.*
Fawkes: Would you like a Bible?
Lorne: Um. No.
Fawkes: You have to. It's the word of the Lord.
Lorne: I'm from Pylea, we have no Lord.
Fawkes: Is that some sorta heathen word for hell?
WC: *southern belle accent* Well I do not know...
Lorne: Um. Bye.
*Lorne tries to shut the door but Fawkes puts his foot in the way*
Fawkes: Please! Take a Bible!
*Lorne struggles and shuts the door*
Angel: Who was it?
Lorne: Headless Darien and WC posing as Jehovah's Witnesses.
Angel: They are so annoying.
Lorne: Jehovah's Witnesses?
Angel: Yeah, whatever.