The TERFers Go To Chicago
by: Tori
Well, between you and me, Jade14 is a little off in the story. She'd knocked back one-too-many Cappuccinos with a little added 'unidentified substance' (to give you a hint it has 5 letters and rhymes with Chodka) along the way to remember the fine details. But I'll let it slide. She gave you the basic run down- we love ER, we're freaks, so naturally a road trip to Chicago was the next practical step. 4 "Super Cappuccinos", 5 pit stops, and 6 hours of radio hell later (Dude, Bon Jovi? Whatever IloveMalucci.) we pulled up to the hospital. Now actually, when we pulled in, I wasn't paying any attention. I was furiously typing away at my lab top, documenting every aspect of our journey, for you fine folks at home. And downloading Noah Wyle pics of course. Mmmm…Noah Wyle. Wait, what was I saying, oh yeah, the hospital. So I wasn't aware that anything was awry until I heard IloveMalucci and Jade14 gasp.
"What did Jovi retire?" I said not looking up. But then I realized that I wasn't that lucky and that's when I saw it. COOK COUNTY GAY BAR in bright purple letters. So after I sat there mesmerized by the glowing lights for a few minutes it hit me. "What the hell is that!" I yelled. "Man not so loud!" Jade14 yelled and grabbed her head. Apparently the "Super Caps" were wearing off. We all scrabbled out of the car and stood at the entrance. "I don't believe it." IloveMalluci said. "This can't be happening. Can you believe it Tori? Tori? Tori..what the.." Jade14 said and turned back. "Damn it woman, can't you tear yourself away from those pictures for 2 bloody seconds!" She yelled at me. "Um, no!" I yelled from in the car. So after they dragged me kicking and screaming from the car, we locked up and proceded inside. And let me tell you, things were very, very different.
The place was a mess. There was a mob of people complaining in chairs about there not being any docs around. Most Trauma victims had croaked and anyone that needed stitches had already done it themselves by that time. What could keep the doctors away from their life's work we wondered? Then we heard it, faintly at first and then it grew. "…believe in MIRACALES. WHERE YOU FROM, YOU SEXY THING? YOU SEXY THING YOU…" The music was coming from Trauma 2. IloveMalluci had the camera rolling as we made our way over. "Wait, there's Cleo!" I said, pointed toward the corner. "Where?" Jade14 asked. "Oh, false alarm, it's just a coat rack." We made our way to Trauma 2, but nothing could prepare us for what we saw.
