Looking back, I was never really a leader. I never took a step to stand up for myself.

But why would I? I was content living my life. There were others, cats whose beliefs lined up with me. I didn't always agree with the decisions my leader made, but as long as he was there, I could follow him, and he would lead me the right way.

He stood up for the Clan when she… when she changed everything… everything! She decided to forfeit her position when she invited that filthy kittypet in.

He never changed paths. Or at least, it never appeared that way.

When we imprisoned the filthy leader, he left me out… he left me out! I would have gladly joined his side. I… Bluestar was weak. She was weak. And he was right, she needed to be removed.

But he didn't trust me, and if he didn't trust me, why should I follow him? Why should I go where no one trusts me? A cat who deserts his Clan is no one cat to be trusted. So, I didn't.

But that kittypet… StarClan, I hated him. He took everything that was good and right about the Clan and our way of life… and he… he messed it up. He messed up everything.

So, I plotted with Tigerstar. I led the dogs to ThunderClan. We needed to start over. He was right. We needed to… start over. ThunderClan needed to be cleansed. I talked to Tigerstar through Blackfoot. I met him every seven days. But Sorrelkit saw me.

I had to get rid of her. And I tried.

But they found me and cast me out. Good riddance. The Clan was pathetic. A kittypet leader. Weak.

And he… he was there for me. Just like he always had been. Even when I hadn't been loyal to him, so I had to prove myself.

I had to… I had to…

And I did. I did whatever he asked of me. I needed to prove myself. I did the dirty work. I played my part well. I didn't want him to doubt me ever again.

And then he asked me to kill Stonefur.

I did. This was my true test of worthiness, and I was worthy. I was worthy. I helped kill the RiverClan cat. Maybe I didn't kill him by myself, but I took his life with my own claws. And I was worthy.

Then he died. I remember him torn apart. Ripped right down the middle. Like he was nothing.

And everything inside me… I felt nothing. It was hollow. A large and empty space.

I killed any cat I could, but that kittypet, that filthy fire pelted kittypet was going to die under my claws. I would rip the nine lives StarClan gave him with my own claws. I would sink my teeth into his neck.

He did not deserve those lives. He had stolen them. He had stolen them from Tigerstar. He needed to be purged from the forest. The Clans had never changed and kittypets like him were the reason we had fallen this far.

I would have done the Clans a favor.

But I died. Killed by my own brother.

When I went to step into that star-covered forest, when I went to cross the stars with my ancestors, they told me no.

They told me no.

"But I did nothing wrong! I was only trying to help reestablish the traditions and ways of the Clans! Those cats… they were destroying what you envisioned—"

They didn't listen. They didn't care. They called me selfish. Cruel. Murderer. Liar.

Now, I wander. He abandoned me. He said we must walk alone. He didn't trust me. I didn't prove myself enough to him.

I walk alone.

It was all because of that kittypet leader. He was the one to soften the Clans ideals and destroy what we had. Seasons and seasons of tradition and honor, all destroyed because of him. I will see him again. I will make him, and my brother pay. I will make them all see that we were right.

I will help cleanse the Clans of their weakness. I will prove my loyalty to Tigerstar and finally, I will get to walk in the light.