A Letter From Hermione.
Dear Harry,
I can just about see your face in front of me as I write this. The peculiar blend of hurt and puzzlement - what is Severus Snape doing here? Well, he is there because Draco needs him. And before you start feeling hurt and angry, because you should be all that he needs, think about it.
You are Draco's world at the moment. His only point of contact without himself is you. Naturally he has feelings for you that he can't express to you. There will be so many things churning in him that he just will be too frightened to lay on you, and I don't think you should push for total disclosure at this point.
Severus- well, Severus is an astounding man. This will shock you, but I like him. I admire him. He has never told me what horrible secret drives him; though I know there is one, I can see it at work in him everyday. He is an eastern ascetic, so mortifyingly aware of his past karma that he spends this lifetime in emotional poverty, desperate for atonement and absolution through servitude. He works alone because he has done such wrong that he cannot, will not, share it with someone else. He needs to be needed, he needs to give help to someone. Draco needs some help that he cannot ask from you. It is the perfect solution, and has, I hope, the neat effect of solving two problems at once. Severus will finally tell his secret to someone, if he hasn't already, and Draco will be able to get a clearer view of you. With that clearer view will come the perspective to not get trapped into blind need. Aha, you never thought of that, did you? That maybe he would come to need you rather than love you? You need him, too, but I hope that you can both grow out of that and find a balance where love is in magnificent abundance over need, and you are together because you choose to be.
I cannot write more, Severus will change his mind and not go if I delay any longer. Watch out for another letter soon.
I love you, Harry.
Hermione.
Draco and Harry.
Harry is still reading his letter from Hermione when I walk into the room, a slightly stunned look on his face. He turns to me, and I see the faintest glimmer of - what is that? Indecision? Uncertainty? I have never seen those emotions in him before, but maybe I have never looked.
"Severus said I should ask you to show me the letters from Hermione and Sirius." I say, very quietly, as if hoping he will not hear me. But he does, and lifts his eyes to my face almost hesitantly.
"Alright." he agrees. After a quick rummage through some drawers he hands me the parchment, still so very quiet and uncertain. I quickly read the letters; they are so heartbreakingly honest, I can feel tears in my eyes, but I hold them back. My heart is thumping painfully in my chest. Maybe he does need me. Maybe Severus is right. Maybe I am not the only one who is uncertain and in pain.
"Is what they write here true?" I ask, even more quietly than before. But still he hears me, and his eyes are shadowed as he lifts them to my face.
"Yes." he takes a ragged breath, and continues: "Yes, it's true, all of it; that I need you and want you and can't exist without you. I thought I could be strong, and help you heal and let you lean on me, but underneath, I need you." His face is so defeated, as if, through this admission, he has put all the things he wants and needs above his grasp. As if he has put me above his grasp. As if I will turn and walk away from him now that I know that he is as vulnerable to me as I am to him.
I walk over and wrap my arms around him tightly, and just hold on. He needs me too. He is as hurt and lost as I am. He stiffens in my embrace, and I whisper gently into his ear:
"Thank you, Harry, for needing me. I didn't want to be weak, I didn't want to lean on your strength. But now we can lean on each other. We can grow together, Harry." He relaxes slightly, and his arms go round me to return the hug. "Let yourself be vulnerable to me, and I will be vulnerable to you. No secrets, no hiding." He nods his head, and lets his face burrow into my shoulder. I bury my face in his neck, and we stand there for a long time, letting our hearts commune.
I know now that we can walk forward together. Harry is my strength, he gives me courage to take that next step. I can do the same for him, now that he will let me.
----
Ok, what is going on with Severus? I have no idea, he never tells me anything. I am quite ambivalent about this section, so all feedback is welcome. Thanks again for reviews. I must make my summary sexier so more people will read this. Again, anything you want explained, just let me know. I will get around to telling you what Hermione did to Draco soon.
Dear Harry,
I can just about see your face in front of me as I write this. The peculiar blend of hurt and puzzlement - what is Severus Snape doing here? Well, he is there because Draco needs him. And before you start feeling hurt and angry, because you should be all that he needs, think about it.
You are Draco's world at the moment. His only point of contact without himself is you. Naturally he has feelings for you that he can't express to you. There will be so many things churning in him that he just will be too frightened to lay on you, and I don't think you should push for total disclosure at this point.
Severus- well, Severus is an astounding man. This will shock you, but I like him. I admire him. He has never told me what horrible secret drives him; though I know there is one, I can see it at work in him everyday. He is an eastern ascetic, so mortifyingly aware of his past karma that he spends this lifetime in emotional poverty, desperate for atonement and absolution through servitude. He works alone because he has done such wrong that he cannot, will not, share it with someone else. He needs to be needed, he needs to give help to someone. Draco needs some help that he cannot ask from you. It is the perfect solution, and has, I hope, the neat effect of solving two problems at once. Severus will finally tell his secret to someone, if he hasn't already, and Draco will be able to get a clearer view of you. With that clearer view will come the perspective to not get trapped into blind need. Aha, you never thought of that, did you? That maybe he would come to need you rather than love you? You need him, too, but I hope that you can both grow out of that and find a balance where love is in magnificent abundance over need, and you are together because you choose to be.
I cannot write more, Severus will change his mind and not go if I delay any longer. Watch out for another letter soon.
I love you, Harry.
Hermione.
Draco and Harry.
Harry is still reading his letter from Hermione when I walk into the room, a slightly stunned look on his face. He turns to me, and I see the faintest glimmer of - what is that? Indecision? Uncertainty? I have never seen those emotions in him before, but maybe I have never looked.
"Severus said I should ask you to show me the letters from Hermione and Sirius." I say, very quietly, as if hoping he will not hear me. But he does, and lifts his eyes to my face almost hesitantly.
"Alright." he agrees. After a quick rummage through some drawers he hands me the parchment, still so very quiet and uncertain. I quickly read the letters; they are so heartbreakingly honest, I can feel tears in my eyes, but I hold them back. My heart is thumping painfully in my chest. Maybe he does need me. Maybe Severus is right. Maybe I am not the only one who is uncertain and in pain.
"Is what they write here true?" I ask, even more quietly than before. But still he hears me, and his eyes are shadowed as he lifts them to my face.
"Yes." he takes a ragged breath, and continues: "Yes, it's true, all of it; that I need you and want you and can't exist without you. I thought I could be strong, and help you heal and let you lean on me, but underneath, I need you." His face is so defeated, as if, through this admission, he has put all the things he wants and needs above his grasp. As if he has put me above his grasp. As if I will turn and walk away from him now that I know that he is as vulnerable to me as I am to him.
I walk over and wrap my arms around him tightly, and just hold on. He needs me too. He is as hurt and lost as I am. He stiffens in my embrace, and I whisper gently into his ear:
"Thank you, Harry, for needing me. I didn't want to be weak, I didn't want to lean on your strength. But now we can lean on each other. We can grow together, Harry." He relaxes slightly, and his arms go round me to return the hug. "Let yourself be vulnerable to me, and I will be vulnerable to you. No secrets, no hiding." He nods his head, and lets his face burrow into my shoulder. I bury my face in his neck, and we stand there for a long time, letting our hearts commune.
I know now that we can walk forward together. Harry is my strength, he gives me courage to take that next step. I can do the same for him, now that he will let me.
----
Ok, what is going on with Severus? I have no idea, he never tells me anything. I am quite ambivalent about this section, so all feedback is welcome. Thanks again for reviews. I must make my summary sexier so more people will read this. Again, anything you want explained, just let me know. I will get around to telling you what Hermione did to Draco soon.