Tatsu Rokujou Chapter 6 Warning! Warning! This is a Not Happy Fic! If you're looking for WAFF, GO ELSEWHERE. Each chapter of this story will be rated for ONLY ITS OWN CONTENT. Chapters will include RAPE, ANGST, and possible VIOLENCE (besides rape, that is; and I say possibly because I don't know how well I write it or how much may be required).

This chapter is rated: PG [sexually suggestive, general depression]

If you are NOT AN ADULT, DO NOT READ THIS. Neither I, nor the FFN are responsible for bruised morals or psyches. If you do not want to read about the subjects written of in the above paragraphs, push the BACK button on your browser. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin. Lots of people and companies with lots more money than I have do. This was written for fun (well, maybe not fun, considering the content), and I receive no profit for it besides the comments of the readers (Revies :nudge nudge hint hint: ).

On with the fic!

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READ THE WARNING BEFORE PROCEEDING FURTHER
Tatsu Rokujou
Chapter 6
By Lady Shorinai







//She couldn't move. She couldn't feel anything restraining her, but she couldn't move. There was nothing holding her up; there was nothingholding her down. It was like she was floating in nothingness, or trapped in stone.

Something brushed against her leg. She automatically—and unsuccessfully—tried to jerk away from it. The thing moved away. Then more things, too many to count, grabbed at her, pushed inside her.

She couldn't move, couldn't see, couldn't scream.

No! Stop, please! Please!!>>//

Her eyes snapped open, the cry strangled in her throat. There was a quiet rapping on her bedroom door.

"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin's voice came to her. "Are you awake yet?"

It was a moment before she could trust herself to speak without screaming. "Hai. I'm awake." She pushed herself up until she was sitting.

"The furo is hot, and breakfast will be ready soon de gozaru."

"Arigatou." She listened to him walk down the corridor, then pressed a hand to her face. Another dream. Kami-sama(23), it's been two months and more. Why won't they stop? I just want to forget it ever happened.>> Kaoru slowly got to her feet, half expecting a soreness between her legs that never came. With a weary sigh, she folded and put away her futon. Tying her yukata more tightly around her ,she made her way to the bathroom.

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Cool blue eyes watched Kaoru walk to the bathroom through the kitchen window. Even inside her own walls he hated to have her out of his sight. For weeks after she returned he'd slept outside her bedroom door and shadowed her movements around the house. Even now, he still watched her, alert for potential threats.

Though his eyes had finally faded from amber, neither were they violet. Instead, they were a hard blue; caring but still cautious.

Kaoru was not at ease in her own home.

Kenshin remained wary.

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Yahiko was waiting at the table when Kaoru came in. Kenshin had refused to start serving breakfast without her there, so the boy had little choice other than to wait. He didn't really mind it, though he would never let her know that; she'd been strangely subdued since her return. Her characteristic flashes of anger were fewer and shorter, she jumped at shadows, seemed to feel a little uneasy around Kenshin, and didn't eat very much.

Kaoru, freshly-scrubbed and in clean clothes with some tendrils of still-damp hair clinging to the sides of her face, came in and sat down a few minutes after the boy had. Her baths had gotten shorter and shorter since her return but she took so many that she must spend hours in the water eery day. "Ohayo," she softly intoned.

"Ohayo de gozaru," Kenshin replied as he handed her her rice bowl.

"Ohayo," Yahiko returned, digging into his breakfast. He rarely called her 'busu' anymore; the few times he had since her return she'd frozen up and then quietly left, locking herself in her room. Yahiko found it so disturbing he assigned himself 1000 practice swings as punishment.

He was just shoveling the last of his meal into his mouth when he looked over at Kaoru again. She'd barely touched her food. She stared blankly at her hands as they poked her chopsticks into her meal, and coming up empty each time. The boy glanced over at Kenshin to see if the redhead had noticed her behavior.

Kenshin was watching her from under half-lowered lids as he ate. He finished his rice and set down his chopsticks, then looked pointedly her barely-touched meal. "Aren't you hungry, Kaoru-dono?" His voice held a gentle reproach.

Kaoru tried unsuccessfuly to stifle a sigh and mechanically ate nearly half of her food. Kenshin and Yahiko exchanged glances as she set down her chopsticks. It was the boy's turn now.

"You're gonna have to eat more than that if you wanna keep up with me," Yahiko teased.

Kaoru smiled back at him with a hint of her old sisterly—and teacherly—playful maliciousness. "I don't think it'll be too hard to keep up with someone who's doing 500 practice strokes." As he launched into his traditional protests, she absently picked up her bowl and finished her rice. Setting the empty dish down, she stood. "Yahiko! Outside! 700 strokes, now!"

There wasn't much heat behind the words, but the boy went anyway with a token amount of grumbling. Kaoru followed, a small smile on her face. When she was out of sight, Kenshin cleared away the dishes.

It's good that she's starting to relax. But why is it taking so long? She's been back months now, but still won't tell me why she's so upset. What did they do to her?>> In the kitchen, he watched the two through the window as he washed the dishes. The ankle-deep snow showed the tracks Yahiko left as he changed stances. Kaoru was standing to one side of her student, watching him, arms crossed and shouting at him. Yahiko, trying to keep the mood up, was shouting back at her.

Better. Slowly better, but better.>>

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Kaoru was trying not to shiver. Winter usually didn't bother her, and this one had been mild so far. True, she hadn't been eating much lately, but she shouldn't have lost enough weight for that to make a difference. Not that it looks like I'm losing weight.>> The cold was seeping into her feet and climbing her legs. Though it was cold out, her upper body felt flushed. Maybe it's from shouting. But I never had a problem with that before, either.>>

Yahiko's shinai wobbled. Kaoru hit him on the top of the head with her own. "You call that a swing? Do it again!"

"It's better than you can do!"

"One hundred more!" she ordered as she began matching strokes with him.

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Yahiko wasn't happy with their argument, exactly, but it was a sign theat she was feeling closer to normal. Still, he didn't like it when she hassled on him to do his work.

"Hmph!" he muttered under his breath. "She's feeling so sorry for herself she can't even do a full set of practice reps."

She struck his head again. "I heard that! Another 50!" She resumed her own practice.

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I am not dizzy! I'm not! Can't finish one set my foot. I've been doing kendo since before he even knew what a sword was!>> She set her mouth to run on automatic, responding to Yahiko's comments without thinking, and concentrated on finishing the set with perfect strokes.

She was lightheaded and hot when she was done, but she had matched the boy swing for swing and remark for remark. "I'm going to take a bath," Kaoru announced as she went to put away her shinai. "Yahiko, clean the dojo." After taking a fresh yukata from her room, she again made her way to the bath house. It took all her concentration not to stumble as she made her way to the small building. Once inside with the door closed she managed to turn a collapse into an ungraceful seat upon the floor. She took deep shuddering breaths, refusing to let herself hyperventilate.

A few minutes later, when she could trust her legs to hold her again, she stood, undressed, and doused herself with a few buckets of cold water in rapid succession. The chill on her cooling skin would have been enough to start her shivering if her cold feet hadn't made her already. With little more than a cursory scrub at her skin, she climbed into the warm furo. She closed her eyes tightly and gripped her upper arms hard, doing her best not to think about the feel of the small waves in the bath moving against her skin.

It's only water, just water. Clean water. No one's in here, and noone is going to come in here. It's just me; me and my filthy, used body.>> Tears threatened, but didn't come. She hadn't cried since she'd come home from that hell-hole. It was something she was thankful for; if she woke up screaming or collapsed in a sobbing heap, it would make Kenshin and Yahiko worry, then they would undoubtedly try to help her to her room or try to soothe her....

The thought of Kenshin touching her made her shudder.

Before she'd been taken she had cherished the memories of every time his calloused hands brushed her own and the few times his arms held her. Now she wanted nothing more but to shrink away every time he came within the distance she could reach with her shinai, let alone come actually close enough to touch her. She could barely tolerate her own hands scrubbing her skin for a bath or pulling on clothes. She would almost rather have gone without even contemplating touching herself to wash or dress. Only the thought of having to constantly look upon her naked body, with every inch of flesh a reminder of everything she so desperately wanted to forget, kept her from doing so.

When it seemed her body would not betray her weakness, she got out of the water and tied her yukata tightly around herself. The cooler air immediately chilled her skin. It's not that cold out,>> she told herself firmly. You only just got out of the bath, of course you feel cold.>>

As she passed the dojo proper, she heard the rhythmic *thump*s of tabi'd feet hitting the heardwood floor. "I want to dojo to shine, Yahiko!" she called in through the door.

"What do you think I'm doing?!" the indignant reply came.

With a smile on her face, she brushed by Kenshin and the laundry basket he was carrying. He must have noticed the smile, because he turned to look at her. "Did you have a good bath, Kaoru-dono?"

She froze at the sound of his voice. Without turning around, she answered "I suppose so." Again silent, she moved off in the direction of her bedroom.

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Kenshin didn't hide his frown as he watched Kaoru's retreating back. She takes so many baths, but never seems happy about them. Yahiko stars to draw her out, like he's always done, but when she sees me she starts hiding again.>> He turned and continued to the washtub. If only she'd tell me what's wrong. If she'd let me help....>> With a sigh, he tied back the sleeves of his purple kimono and began scrubbing clothes. Karu had been going through them faster than usual since her return. These are going to wear thin if she doesn't stop changing so often. I wonder if she's warm enough this morning? The temperature dropped a lot last night.>>

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The comb running through her hair was a welcome distraction, the simple motion unbeleivably soothing. She concentrated on her arms, using their work to stave off the shivers that still threatened. Kaoru counted the strokes, like it was a kendo exercise, tried to make each one exactly like the last, focused on the feel of muscles tightening and relaxing.

When she opened her eyes, her voice was nearly a whisper, her count was in the thousands, and her hair was completely dry. And her feet were asleep. She stood slowly, wincing as her feet tingled as they woke. Picking up a ribbon, she tied her hair back as she rotated her ankles and waited for the pins-and-needles sensation to go away. As soon as she could walk without wincing, Kaoru changed to her kendo giand went out. The laundry wasn't hung in the yard, the dojo was quiet, and the smell of food was coming from the kitchen. She wandered in that direction.

"Konnichiwa, Kaoru-dono. Are you almost ready for lunch?" Kenshin asked when she paused by the kitchen doorway.

"... Mn. Kenshin, where's Yahiko?"

"He went to the Akabeko when he finished cleaning. Is there something you needed him to do, de gozaru ka?"

"No. Just wondering. Thank you. How long will lunch be?"

"Another few minutes."

"Thank you."

"Doo itashimashite(24)."

Lunch was a quiet meal, with Kaoru giving short replies to Kenshin's few soft-spoken questions. Unconmfortable alone with him, she finished eating quickly, not even noticing the unusually large portions that he'd given to her. As soon as she'd cleared her dishes she excused herself to the dojo. I can't believe I'm still cold! Some practice will warm me up.>> Taking a shinai from the racks, she positioned herself in the middle of the floor. She spent a minute to find her balance. No. I am not dizzy>> she reminded herself firmly. Ruthlessly, she threw herself into a mid-length kata that she hadn't practiced in two weeks. Before she was halfway through it, she was hot and sweaty and the floor seemed to want to come outr from under her feet. I am not dizzy. I can finish this.>>

Only she couldn't. The last turn was too forceful; she lost her balance. Shaking hands dropped the shinai as she dropped clumsily to the floor. Her breath was coming in pants and gasps and blacknes threatened to overwhelm her vision. As carefuly as she could, she laid down fully on the wood floor. Blinking rapidly, Kaoru focused on ther lungs, forced them to take slower, deep breaths. Before too long both her vision and breathing were back to normal. And she was cold again.

I hope the furo's still warm,>> she thought wearily as she pushed to her feet. I'm so tired of this—then will it stop?>> Replacing the shinai in the rack, she started heading back toward the bath house.

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Wary blue eyes watched Kaoru exit the dojo. She's headed to take another bath. It''s a good thing I put more wood on the fire or it would be too cold for a bath to be healthy by now.>>

When her slow, deliberate steps made her disappear into the small building, Kenshin left his self-assigned post. Sure, swift, and silent, his footsteps carried him quickly through the house. If he had spent the time to think it, the ease with which the stealth he had used as a hitokiri returened to him would have been some cause for distress. As things stood, he barely noticed.

He collected a dry yukata from Kaoru's room and followed her path to the bath house. At the door, he stopped and knocked. "Kaoru-dono?" He heard the splashing of water inside still, but no response came. His eyes narrowed slightly. She grows more and more silent towards me. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?>> Carefully, he kept both his worry and his frustration from his voice. "Kaoru-dono; I brought a yukata for you. I'm leaving it by the door."

Still, there was no answer.

With an inaudible sigh, Kenshin set the folded garment on the floor and turned to go back to the main house. He re-entered the kitchen and took out some vegetables for slicing. The counter was by the window, so his position would allow him to perform both tasks of watching for Kaoru's emergence and beginning to prepare supper. Even if the young woman displayed virtually no appetite, Yahiko should be back in just a few hours and would undoubtedly complain that he was starving. A wistful smile unknowingly graced the redhead's face. He is a growing boy, after all. It should only be expected that he have a good appetite. Now, if we can just get Kaoru-dono to regain her old one....>> The smile vanished back into his coolly calm mask. A few minutes later, the vegetables went into the pickling jar and he checked to make sure there were still a few fish in the kitchen. Hmm. Only two fish. It's a food thing we still have some tofu. I'll have to go shopping in the morning.>>

"Tadaima!" Yahiko's voice came from the front of the house.

"Okaeri," Kenshin responded. A minute later, the boy was standing in the kitchen doorway. He inhaled deeply.

"Mm. Smells good. If that deosn't make Kaoru hungry, I don't know what will." Yahiko saved Kenshin from having to reply by asking "Where is she, anyway?"

"The bath."

"Again? She's gonna turn into a fish if she keeps taking this many."

"Don't let her hear you say that." The boy rolled his eyes. "Why are you home so early?"

"Lunch was slow, so Tae-san figured tonight would be too. She and Tsubame-chan should be able to handle it."

"Ah." Movement caught Kenshin's eye. He glanced out the window. "She's out. The water should still be warm if you want a bath."

"Arigatou." Yahiko removed himself fom Kenshin's undisputed territory. Blue eyes watched him go down the corridor. When his and Kaoru's paths crossed Kenshin saw a bit of her old spark as she ordered him to the dojo.

Better. Slowly better.>>

To Be Continued

Please, Review!!! Onegai shimasu!

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Oi, this took forever! Y'know, I figured I'd have this chapter out midway through January? Well, I hope it was worth the wait, and I hope chapter 7 doesn't take as long. ^_^; R&R, please!

If you're still wondering what the title means, I can give you the translations of the individual words, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't actually make sense.
tatsu - dragon
rokujou - the six emotions of joy, anger, sorrow, pleasure & love, and hatred

(23) Sprirts, God
(24) You're welcome.