Shadows & Secrets
Numair awoke to find Daine gone from under his arm. For a moment, he feared she'd been kidnapped again. But his fears were quickly dispelled when he looked up to see her a few feet away, leaning her head on a large tree, her back to him. Gingerly Numair got up and stretched his aching muscles. Walking over to her, he put his hands on Daine's shoulders. "Maglet…" Numair spoke softly, but faltered, unsure of what to say at a time like this. But all possible words evaporated when he registered the ragged sob that escaped Daine's lips.
Quickly he turned her around to discover her face stained by countless tears, her eyes puffy and bloodshot. He was taken aback momentarily, but soon recovered, pulling her to him. She buried her face in his chest and began to sob uncontrollably, her shoulders shaking violently. Uncertain of what to do, Numair cautiously placed his hands on Daine's back, trying to sooth her as best he could.
Then Daine looked up and into his face, "I'm so sorry," she wailed and buried her face back in his chest.
Now Numair was really at a loss, trying to sound at ease he said, "Sorry? Daine, you have nothing to be sorry for. It is for Ozorne to be sorry, sorry that he kidnapped you and tried to kill both of us." Letting go of his hold on her, he held her at arm's length, slightly squatting so that they were at eye level. "Maglet, you did nothing wrong, you have nothing to be sorry for."
Daine would not look at him, and when he said these last words she broke out of his grasp and turned her back to him again. Trying desperately to control her voice, her next words came in between the sobs she was attempting to suppress. "But… But it was I… I who lost… Lost our baby… Lost your son." And with that she ran, darted through the trees and out of sight.
+++
Numair stood stunned, numbly, he fell to his knees and covered his face with his hands. Baby, his baby, his son. The words seemed to echo with a sickening repercussion inside his head. Suddenly, unbidden, images began to emerge behind his closed eyelids. Images of a small child. A child with black hair and fair complexion, a child with piercing blue gray eyes and a stubborn chin, a child that he his father's coloring and prominent nose, but his eyes, his chin, his mouth were clearly his mothers.
So Ozorne had won, despite it all, he had won. For his aim had been to destroy those whom Numair cared for and he had done that. He had succeeded in killing Numair's first born his son.
But as he knelt on the forest floor, Numair began to become resigned to his grief. And with that resignation came the surfacing of other thoughts, and all at once his mind bombarded him with thousands of questions. Why hadn't Daine told him she was pregnant earlier? How could have not noticed on his own, after all, they'd been together over two years, and he felt he knew her habits and cycles well enough that he should have been able to notice if one hadn't come? Why had he not been more careful to begin with, it wasn't as though he didn't know the dangers of lying with a woman not yet his wife, why had he not taken more care to prevent something like this happening till they were both ready? Why had he been so foolish and cocksure as to let her fall into Ozorne's hands in the first place? Why had she sounded so sure that their unborn child had been a boy? And on and on it went.
Numair knew he should get up and find her right now. He should find her and demand a complete explanation. He should go to her so that they could mourn their loss together. He should go and comfort her, try and ease the immense pain she must be feeling. He should do all of those things, yet he still knelt on the ground, not moving a muscle, his shock was so great that he did not have it in him to move, even for Daine.
+++
Daine had no idea where she was running, only that she had to get away. Away from all the hurt and anger she must have caused Numair. Finally, coming upon a shallow pond she stopped and flopped down next to it. She vaguely considered shape shifting to a fish or bird or something, but found that she did not have the energy. So instead she settled for lying down beside the waters edge and expelling the last of her tears.
She had failed Numair, lost his child, their child. She had awoken that morning, determined to finally tell him, only to look down and see the sticky mess of red along her legs and pooling on the ground beneath her. She was no healer, no medic, but she knew enough to know what that meant. It meant that she had, for whatever reason, miscarried her child.
In a sudden burst of anger she pounded to ground with her fist. She felt so worthless. She had failed to protect her own offspring and now she had lost him. When her mother had first come to her, telling Daine that she was carrying a fine, healthy son, Daine had been so proud, could not wait to tell Numair that he was to have a son. But then, as she had made to tell him, she passed through the hallways of the palace and seen the noble women visibly snub her. Among her competition for Numair, she was not regarded well. But those sneers and whispered comments so thinly veiled had sown the seed of doubt in her. What if Numair was not pleased at his impending fatherhood? For, if he did not marry her, their child would be born a bastard and everyone would shun her.
Ever since then, Daine had put off telling him, knowing that she would have to eventually. In fact she had made up her mind to tell him the very morning she was kidnapped. But now it didn't matter. He knew and the child was lost all her hopes and dreams seemed in shambles. Numair would not want her anymore, would regard her as a risk, for, if he could beget a child on her once, what was to stop it happening again and trapping him into marriage with her.
So immersed was Daine in her grief, that she didn't notice the shadows that were slowly rising and engulfing the trees flanking her.
+++
Numair finally found enough sense to get up and go after Daine. They needed to sort this thing out together. Walking slowly, it did not take him long to pick up her trail. In her suffering she had been careless, not caring to see that she didn't leave a trail. As it was, it was easy for Numair to follow the trail of broken twigs and treaded grass. Turning a last corner, he found her, still lying next to the pond. Mindfully he approached her, not wanting to stir her into a fresh wave of anguished sorrow. Kneeling beside her, he pulled her seemingly limp body to him and cradled her, rocking back and forth slightly.
For a while the stayed like that, sharing their shared loss. Finally, Numair lifted his head and looked at her. "You could have told me," he whispered.
Daine moved back slightly and wiped her face on her sleeve. This got a chuckle from Numair, "you never learn, do you?" And with that he pulled a handkerchief from the inside of his sleeve. Gently, as though she a small child, he held her while he dipped the linen into the water and tenderly washed her face.
When he was satisfied, he set the handkerchief aside and turned his attention back to her face, waiting for her answer. Not wanting to look at him, Daine busied herself toying with the laces of his tunic. "I was not overly sure you would be pleased with my news, I had only just worked up the courage to finally tell you on the morning I was captured."
Numair laid her head against his chest, absently running his fingers through her hair. "You need not have worried, I would have been overjoyed, had I not found out in these particular circumstances. How did you know it was going to be a boy?"
Daine let her hand drop, trying to keep her voice steady. "The Green Lady came to me, she said I was carrying your child, and that it was a fine healthy boy."
Numair's hand halted in its path through Daine's hair, "your mother, well that's great."
"No, no," Daine stopped him, "she was very happy for us, and she said da was too."
"And I still am, " said a voice that seemed to come from the pond.
Both Daine and Numair jumped slightly. Crawling from Numair's lap, Daine moved to look into the pool. "Ma, is that you?" Daine asked squinting her eyes.
"Yes sweet, it is," Sarra said as Numair joined Daine in staring into the pool.
"What do you mean, 'still am,'" Daine asked.
"I mean sweet, that you haven't lost your baby, you might say he just left for a while." Sarra smiled knowingly, but her smile dropped when she saw the pain in her daughter's face.
"But, the blood, I saw the blood." Daine persisted, what was her mother talking about.
"Well," now Sarra was stumbling, this wasn't going as she'd planned. "You saw blood because your body was responding to the baby's absence. It was just that he was absent because I removed him." Sarra's face turned crimson red and she looked away from the image of her daughter and Numair.
Numair's face was also turning red, but his from rage, loosing control he bellowed at the image of Sarra, "Why did you take him!"
Sarra turned her gaze on Daine, her eyes imploring her daughter to understand, but Daine's only response was a blank stare. "I took him sweet, because I thought you were in danger and I didn't want you to loose my grandson, so I removed him from you. And it's a good thing I did, because if you had carried that baby while you were imprisoned, you would have lost him, and then there would have been nothing I could do to help."
"But we have lost him!" Daine's voice rose into a wail. "I'm not carrying him anymore, what am I going to carry around an egg for the next seven months! How am I going to give birth now!" Daine flung herself away from the image of her mother, burying her face in Numair's shoulder.
Sarra sighed deeply, then continuing, explained, "dearest, I can replace him any time with my magic, it will be as though you have always been carrying him."
Wiping her eyes, Daine turned her head out of Numair's shoulder, but still did not look at her mother. "But how can that be, how can an unborn child survive outside it's mother?"
"I took him out with my magic, I'm a minor goddess of child birth, remember, I can do this sort of stuff. You might say that your son's time clock has frozen. He's not growing or developing anymore, but he's not dead either, he's just waiting till your ready to take him back."
"What do you mean, 'till we're ready to take him back?'" Numair asked, one eyebrow slightly raised in a questioning look.
Now Sarra huffed in annoyance, this whole thing was getting to be more trouble than it was worth. "What I mean is, your son isn't going anywhere, so, if you wanted to wait, wait till you were married, or at least both ready for the baby, I can hold him till then, you just have to tell me when you want him back."
Daine and Numair exchanged a quick glance, and then both looked at Sarra and said simultaneously, "now!"
Sarra gulped, she wasn't so sure about this. "You're sure, cause once I put him back, you're on your own, I can never remove him again, and you'll be subject to all the regular dangers of child baring."
Numair placed his arm protectively around Daine's waist and answered for both of them, "we're sure, we want our son back now."
Sarra turned to Daine and looked her directly in the eyes, Daine inhaled deeply and picked her chin up. "We're sure ma, besides, it's not like I wouldn't be at risk for all the regular problem of motherhood anyway. We were supposed to have our son now, it's only fair that we do."
Sarra couldn't see it, but Daine had begun to lean heavily against Numair. She thought what she was doing was right, but she needed to be sure he felt the same way. Now, she turned her back to her mother so only Numair could hear what she was saying and whispered, "are you sure, if I have your baby now, people will sneer at you, make fun of you. And your son, he'll be considered a bastard, are you willing to face that, cause if you're not, we can wait."
Numair sighed and pushed some of Daine's stray hair out of her face, then he broke out into a wide smile. "Are you kidding, this is great, for almost two years I've been trying to get you to marry me, I say this is the perfect opportunity."
"You're sure," Daine looked at him seriously, "cause once we do this, there's no going back, we're stuck with each other."
Numair took Daine's head in both of his hands and shook it gently. "Daine, I wanted to marry after I killed Inar Hadensra, I wanted to marry you after that, I want to marry you now, I will always want to marry you. You are the only woman I could ever love, and live with. Now, will you stop being so damned obstinate, and agree to marry me?!"
Daine laughed and threw her arms around Numair's neck, "yes, yes I'll marry you."
"Good!" Numair exclaimed. "Then wear this." And with that he removed a chain from his neck that Daine had never noticed before. He unclasped it and slid what appeared to be a very small band off it. He picked up her left hand and slid the ring on her ring finger, it fit perfectly.
"Numair!" she gasped, "this is beautiful. Where did you get this."
Numair pulled her to him and laughed into her hair, "it's none of your business where I got it."
Daine was eyeing it critically, "What's it made of?" She asked.
"It's a hollowed out opal, and it'll never break or fade." He explained taking her hand in his.
A rather to loud cough reminded them that Sarra was still in the pool. Turning back, Daine said firmly, "we're sure ma, we want our son back NOW."
"Very well," Sarra said, "but once it's done I want both of you to get out of here, you're not out of danger yet, those shadows are growing and I think they're going to begin consuming things. I'd hate for their first victims to be you."
At hearing this, Daine and Numair looked at each other, both alarmed at this news. But before they could discuss it, there was a blaze of light from the pool, and all of a sudden Daine felt like she'd been head butted in the stomach. She fell back against Numair who caught her and stood them both up.
"Are you alright?" He asked, his face full of concern.
"Yeah," Daine massaged her stomach, "I think I have the baby back now."
"Can you walk." Numair said as he supported her back to a rock where she sat down and caught her breath.
"I'm fine, but I think we should get out of here soon, if what ma said is true, we have to get back and worn Jonathon and Thayet immediately."
Numair looked around warily, "my thoughts exactly, so, lets get started."
"Right," said Daine as she hauled herself off the rock. "The sooner we get back to Tortall, the better." She looked around them, she could see the shadows clouding the spaces between the trees. Automatically she sought Numair's hand. When she gripped it, she discovered it was covered in cold sweat.
"Let's go," was all he said. But he didn't need to say more, Daine understood his thinking perfectly without having him explain it. So, hands clasped, the walked away from the pool and back towards the main road. Not daring to look back as the shadows began to leak over into the pond and all the surrounding wildlife, polluting it with chaos essence.