The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Part 2, Chapter 2
In our last episode, Link finally got the chance to challenge Ganon for the final showdown. After a few setbacks, they were ready to fight. Ganon's attack was easilly dispelled by Link and the Master Sword (and various other items), but after some taunting, Ganon manages to create the ultimate spell, so powerful that it killed Link in two mighty blows. Will Ganon really reign Hyrule with the Triforce of Power, with no one to stop him? Find out, on this next exciting episode of The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite!
Inside Ganon's Castle, top floor of the tower
Ganon: Ha ha ha ha! Pathetic indeed! Hahahaha! (sends another blast at Link)
Link: (gets up, but gets hit back down by the blast. In extreme pain, he struggles to get up for a second. He looks at Ganon with a face of pure hatred one final time, and struggles a little more. Finally, he is still.)
Ganon: AH HA HA HA! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! FINALLY, I HAVE BEATEN HIM!
Zelda: Link! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ganon: Ha ha ha ha ha! Looks like Hyrule, no--the WORLD is mine! Hahaha! I am the smartest and the best! Gods tremble before my ire! No one dare's challenge- (suddenly, he looks off to the side, and his eyes widen) NOOOOOOOOO!
Link: (suddenly, a fairy emerges from a bottle Link was carrying. It slowly circles Link two times, then Link begins to glow. Link's eyes open slightly, and he begins to push himself up. Strenthened by the fairy's power, he struggles to his feet, and then is fully restored. He breathes deeply for a few seconds, then his head snaps up and he smiles at Ganon)
Zelda: (smiles) Thank goodness...
Ganon: (pulling at his hair) NOOOOOOOOO!! HOW?! HOW COULD THIS BE POSSIBLE!?!?!!?
Link: (smile grows wider) Sorry, I forgot to tell you. Those bottles I was talking about... they aren't all empty. That one is, but I have three more, and each one has a fairy in it. Fairies will bring me back to life after I die, totally refilling my life energy.
Ganon: ...(whining) That's cheating!
Link: Well, you can fly and shoot bolts of energy and stuff!
Ganon: ...Shut up! (shoots a bolt of energy at Link)
Link: (knocks it back)
Ganon: (gets hit by it) Augh! Ha ha ha! Pathetic fool! You think a-(suddenly, an arrow that glows with a bright light embedded itself in Ganon's flesh. The light in the arrow coursed through his veins, poisoning him and his evil) YAAAAAUUUGGGHHH! (falls to the ground)
Link: (takes out hookshot and uses Ganon as a target, then slices him up with the Master Sword)
Ganon: (knocks Link away with the little bit of strength he has left)
Link: Augh! (catches on to the side of the pillar and pulls himself up)
Ganon: (coughs up blood. He is in pretty bad shape: cuts all over his body, cape all ripped, and he is struggling to breath.) The Great Evil King Ganondorf... beaten by a kid!? (coughs up more blood)
Link: (smirks and puts his hands on his hips) Pretty embarassing, isn't it?
Ganon: (reaching for the sky, Ganon screams and unleashes all the energy inside him in a gigantic aura of destructive power, destroying the beautiful stained glass that made up the walls of the room)
Link: (just standing there, totally unharmed) Tee hee, that tickled.
Ganon: (falls to his knees, then drops all the way down to the ground. A puddle of blood spreads from his body)
Link: Ewww... I mean... YAY! I won! Awesome! Woah...
Zelda: (encased in the crystal, she slowly drops down to the ground. As the crystal touches the ground, it disappears) EWWWWWWuh! Oh... my... god... I stepped in Ganon's BLOOD! Get it off, ew-hew-hew.... yucky...
Link: Gross...
Zelda: ....
Link: ...
Zelda: ........What?
Link: ...(quietly) your line...
Zelda: Oh! *ahem* Ganondorf... pitiful man... without a strong righteous mind, he could not control the power of the gods, and... (suddenly, the entire castle begins to shake)
Link: Hey, awesome! It's a rollercoaster! Wheee! *puts his hands up in the air*
Zelda: No, you idiot! With his last breath, Ganon is trying to crush us in the ruins of the tower! We must find a way to escape!
Link: An escape route, eh? Hmm... (looks around) Aha! Look, a conveniently-placed walkway going all the way down the tower! How lucky we are!
Outside the castle...
Zelda: Gee, that was easy.
Link: (panting and wheezing) "That was easy"!? You didn't DO anything!
Zelda: ...(looks into the sky) What a pretty afternoon.
Slowly , the caslte collapses. Ingeniusly designed, the castle levels collapse into eachother, forming a kind of floor as the individual small towers fall dowm.
Zelda: Wow... I didn't know castles could do that!
Link: Oh yeah, it's the new thing. All the castles are doing it.
Navi: (shows up out of nowehere) Sorry I couldn't help you in the battle before, but I had some... stuff... to do... yeah, that's it. Stuff.
Link: Stuff?! Let me tell you something, you stupid fairy, if you ever abandon me again I'll pull your wings out!
Navi: *gulp*
A loud noise is heard. This scares them... for some reason.
Zelda: ACK! I'm scared! (pulls Link in front of her) If something comes at us, you're my human sheild!
Link: What!? (escapes her grasp, and walks forward)
A wall of fire comes up between Zelda and Link.
Link: Um...
Suddenly, Ganon springs into the air out of the rubble. Still wheezing and panting, he floats there for a moment. His eyes have turned totally white from the sudden surge of energy, and his cape is missing. For a few seconds he hangs motionless in the air and then, instantly, as if a bomb blew up inside of him, he throws his arms and legs out as far as he could and began to glow. Ganon's body began twisting and growing into a gigantic monster, and he dropped to the ground. No longer human, Ganon is now a fifteen-feet tall pic-monster thing with two humongous swords that he swung around wildly.
Link: (pees his pants)
Navi: We're toast.
Ganon: ROOOAAAAARRR!
Link: (weakly) I-I'm not af-fraid of you!....... (runs away)
Ganon: (slowly follows)
Link: (runs to the edge of the fire wall)
Ganon: (still lumbering over towards Link at a snail's pace)
Link: (taps his foot impatiently and stares at an inexistant watch on his wrist) Come ON!
Ganon: (in a deep evil monster voice) You will die today Link!
Link: Tch. Today? Not at the rate you're going. (crosses arms and leans against a remaining wall from the tower)
Ganon: (charges at Link and with one blow destroys the wall Link was leaning on)
Link: (falls on the ground and begins to cry at the thought of his impending doom) Waaaaaah!
Ganon: (reaches back to strike the final blow)
Link: AUUUGGGHHH! (rolls between his legs)
Ganon: (looks for Link, as he did not see him roll under him)
Link: ...Hey... (smiles, takes out the Biggoron Sword and hits Ganon in the tail)
Ganon: (wails in pain)
Link: Hahaha, hey! This will work!
Ganon: No it won't.
Link: It... won't???
Old ugly piano teacher: (jumps out of nowhere and grabs Link from behind)
Link: Auuggghhh! (he is unable to move)
Zelda: LINK! She's OLD! Push her away!
Link: I can't! She's... freakishly strong!
Old ugly piano teacher: Don't worry, Ganon! With this little kid out of the way, you'll have no excuse but to practice the piano the piano ALL THE TIME!
Oh NO! ...Again. Link is in trouble! He could die... FOR REAL THIS TIME! I bet you're on the edge of your seat. You're so mind-numbingly excited that you can barely move. you can barely BREATH. You're literally sitting there, in front of your computer, clawing at the screen and gasping as you say "Please! Please, for the love of god, make is less exciting! If you have any human decency in you, PLEASE make it less exciting! Please!" ...Well, maybe not.
In our last episode, Link finally got the chance to challenge Ganon for the final showdown. After a few setbacks, they were ready to fight. Ganon's attack was easilly dispelled by Link and the Master Sword (and various other items), but after some taunting, Ganon manages to create the ultimate spell, so powerful that it killed Link in two mighty blows. Will Ganon really reign Hyrule with the Triforce of Power, with no one to stop him? Find out, on this next exciting episode of The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite!
Inside Ganon's Castle, top floor of the tower
Ganon: Ha ha ha ha! Pathetic indeed! Hahahaha! (sends another blast at Link)
Link: (gets up, but gets hit back down by the blast. In extreme pain, he struggles to get up for a second. He looks at Ganon with a face of pure hatred one final time, and struggles a little more. Finally, he is still.)
Ganon: AH HA HA HA! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! FINALLY, I HAVE BEATEN HIM!
Zelda: Link! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ganon: Ha ha ha ha ha! Looks like Hyrule, no--the WORLD is mine! Hahaha! I am the smartest and the best! Gods tremble before my ire! No one dare's challenge- (suddenly, he looks off to the side, and his eyes widen) NOOOOOOOOO!
Link: (suddenly, a fairy emerges from a bottle Link was carrying. It slowly circles Link two times, then Link begins to glow. Link's eyes open slightly, and he begins to push himself up. Strenthened by the fairy's power, he struggles to his feet, and then is fully restored. He breathes deeply for a few seconds, then his head snaps up and he smiles at Ganon)
Zelda: (smiles) Thank goodness...
Ganon: (pulling at his hair) NOOOOOOOOO!! HOW?! HOW COULD THIS BE POSSIBLE!?!?!!?
Link: (smile grows wider) Sorry, I forgot to tell you. Those bottles I was talking about... they aren't all empty. That one is, but I have three more, and each one has a fairy in it. Fairies will bring me back to life after I die, totally refilling my life energy.
Ganon: ...(whining) That's cheating!
Link: Well, you can fly and shoot bolts of energy and stuff!
Ganon: ...Shut up! (shoots a bolt of energy at Link)
Link: (knocks it back)
Ganon: (gets hit by it) Augh! Ha ha ha! Pathetic fool! You think a-(suddenly, an arrow that glows with a bright light embedded itself in Ganon's flesh. The light in the arrow coursed through his veins, poisoning him and his evil) YAAAAAUUUGGGHHH! (falls to the ground)
Link: (takes out hookshot and uses Ganon as a target, then slices him up with the Master Sword)
Ganon: (knocks Link away with the little bit of strength he has left)
Link: Augh! (catches on to the side of the pillar and pulls himself up)
Ganon: (coughs up blood. He is in pretty bad shape: cuts all over his body, cape all ripped, and he is struggling to breath.) The Great Evil King Ganondorf... beaten by a kid!? (coughs up more blood)
Link: (smirks and puts his hands on his hips) Pretty embarassing, isn't it?
Ganon: (reaching for the sky, Ganon screams and unleashes all the energy inside him in a gigantic aura of destructive power, destroying the beautiful stained glass that made up the walls of the room)
Link: (just standing there, totally unharmed) Tee hee, that tickled.
Ganon: (falls to his knees, then drops all the way down to the ground. A puddle of blood spreads from his body)
Link: Ewww... I mean... YAY! I won! Awesome! Woah...
Zelda: (encased in the crystal, she slowly drops down to the ground. As the crystal touches the ground, it disappears) EWWWWWWuh! Oh... my... god... I stepped in Ganon's BLOOD! Get it off, ew-hew-hew.... yucky...
Link: Gross...
Zelda: ....
Link: ...
Zelda: ........What?
Link: ...(quietly) your line...
Zelda: Oh! *ahem* Ganondorf... pitiful man... without a strong righteous mind, he could not control the power of the gods, and... (suddenly, the entire castle begins to shake)
Link: Hey, awesome! It's a rollercoaster! Wheee! *puts his hands up in the air*
Zelda: No, you idiot! With his last breath, Ganon is trying to crush us in the ruins of the tower! We must find a way to escape!
Link: An escape route, eh? Hmm... (looks around) Aha! Look, a conveniently-placed walkway going all the way down the tower! How lucky we are!
Outside the castle...
Zelda: Gee, that was easy.
Link: (panting and wheezing) "That was easy"!? You didn't DO anything!
Zelda: ...(looks into the sky) What a pretty afternoon.
Slowly , the caslte collapses. Ingeniusly designed, the castle levels collapse into eachother, forming a kind of floor as the individual small towers fall dowm.
Zelda: Wow... I didn't know castles could do that!
Link: Oh yeah, it's the new thing. All the castles are doing it.
Navi: (shows up out of nowehere) Sorry I couldn't help you in the battle before, but I had some... stuff... to do... yeah, that's it. Stuff.
Link: Stuff?! Let me tell you something, you stupid fairy, if you ever abandon me again I'll pull your wings out!
Navi: *gulp*
A loud noise is heard. This scares them... for some reason.
Zelda: ACK! I'm scared! (pulls Link in front of her) If something comes at us, you're my human sheild!
Link: What!? (escapes her grasp, and walks forward)
A wall of fire comes up between Zelda and Link.
Link: Um...
Suddenly, Ganon springs into the air out of the rubble. Still wheezing and panting, he floats there for a moment. His eyes have turned totally white from the sudden surge of energy, and his cape is missing. For a few seconds he hangs motionless in the air and then, instantly, as if a bomb blew up inside of him, he throws his arms and legs out as far as he could and began to glow. Ganon's body began twisting and growing into a gigantic monster, and he dropped to the ground. No longer human, Ganon is now a fifteen-feet tall pic-monster thing with two humongous swords that he swung around wildly.
Link: (pees his pants)
Navi: We're toast.
Ganon: ROOOAAAAARRR!
Link: (weakly) I-I'm not af-fraid of you!....... (runs away)
Ganon: (slowly follows)
Link: (runs to the edge of the fire wall)
Ganon: (still lumbering over towards Link at a snail's pace)
Link: (taps his foot impatiently and stares at an inexistant watch on his wrist) Come ON!
Ganon: (in a deep evil monster voice) You will die today Link!
Link: Tch. Today? Not at the rate you're going. (crosses arms and leans against a remaining wall from the tower)
Ganon: (charges at Link and with one blow destroys the wall Link was leaning on)
Link: (falls on the ground and begins to cry at the thought of his impending doom) Waaaaaah!
Ganon: (reaches back to strike the final blow)
Link: AUUUGGGHHH! (rolls between his legs)
Ganon: (looks for Link, as he did not see him roll under him)
Link: ...Hey... (smiles, takes out the Biggoron Sword and hits Ganon in the tail)
Ganon: (wails in pain)
Link: Hahaha, hey! This will work!
Ganon: No it won't.
Link: It... won't???
Old ugly piano teacher: (jumps out of nowhere and grabs Link from behind)
Link: Auuggghhh! (he is unable to move)
Zelda: LINK! She's OLD! Push her away!
Link: I can't! She's... freakishly strong!
Old ugly piano teacher: Don't worry, Ganon! With this little kid out of the way, you'll have no excuse but to practice the piano the piano ALL THE TIME!
Oh NO! ...Again. Link is in trouble! He could die... FOR REAL THIS TIME! I bet you're on the edge of your seat. You're so mind-numbingly excited that you can barely move. you can barely BREATH. You're literally sitting there, in front of your computer, clawing at the screen and gasping as you say "Please! Please, for the love of god, make is less exciting! If you have any human decency in you, PLEASE make it less exciting! Please!" ...Well, maybe not.