"Ugh! I feel like I got run over by the Knight Bus," Ron croaked.
He pulled himself slowly to his feet and looked around the classroom. He hadn't been unconscious long; it was still dark outside, and the room seemed the same. Of course, Ron noted, it was a little odd that the room was blurry, but, then, Ron had never been unconscious before; that was always Harry's department. In the dim light, Ron could make out two lumps on the floor that he assumed were Harry and Hermione.
Ron walked over to them and stopped, because lying there on the ground were Hermione and ... and ... Ron.
"This can't be happening, I'm too young to die. I'm not dead. I'm not dead." Ron started chanting.
"Harry, could you please be quiet! You're not dead, okay!" said Hermione as she sat up. "And you're not helping my headache either."
"What do you mean, Ron, I didn't say anything, but.... Oh my God…." Harry trailed off.
It was at that point that all three of them realized what had happened. They had switched bodies. Ron had Harry's body, Hermione had Ron's body and--
"Damn it! How come I'm stuck in Hermione's body?" Harry moaned on the floor as he covered his eyes.
"This isn't a joyride for me either." Hermione snapped.
"Yeah, well, oh wait! I have nothing to complain about! I'm the famous Harry Potter!" Ron grinned at the possibilities.
"It's not that great, Ron, you're forgetting about the Dursleys," Harry reminded him, sounding frantic.
"Okay, then we'll get it fixed before the year ends." Ron was still looking slightly pleased.
"How did this happen?" Harry moaned.
"It must have been the mirror, stupid. Let's look at it. One person at a time," Hermione said as she struggled to her feet. She was rather awkward as she stumbled towards the mirror but, then, she was suddenly much taller than she used to be.
"How about if you get used to walking in my body before you hurt yourself…er, hurt me… or whatever," Ron said. "I'll look at the mirror, okay?"
Harry, meanwhile, was still lying on the floor trying not to panic.
As Ron neared the mirror, he became certain it was not the mirror of Erised, and as he read the inscription, his mouth dropped.
"Well Harry, what is it? Is it really bad?" Hermione asked.
"I'm Ron, remember?"
"What is it, some evil magical item?"
"It's a frickin' party favor!"
"What?"
"Listen to this, 'Mirror of body switching. Great for parties and practical jokes. To rent, owl Haran's Joke Emporium: 17486 Gorshire, London. Note, body switch lasts for 720 hours and is irreversible for that amount of time.'" Ron read.
"Well, that's only a month," Hermione said hopefully.
"Yeah, well you're not a girl!" Harry was still on the floor, dangerously close to completely losing his composure.
"Yes I am, if you'll recall, and right now I'm stuck in Ron's body which I can assure you is not fun."
"Hey! What's wrong with my body?!"
"When was the last time you bathed, Ron?"
"Never mind."
"We have to tell somebody!" Hermione demanded.
"We're going to wait for this to wear off!" Harry said frantically.
"What do you mean? We have to get Professor Dumbledore!" Hermione yelled.
"Be quiet," Harry hissed. "You'll wake the whole school! We can't tell anyone because we'll never live it down. Imagine what Malfoy would say if he knew I was in your body! Besides, it's irreversible. We'll just have to wait a month anyway. We can keep it a secret!"
"No we can't! You can't be me! Think of my grades, think of my standing in the class! How will you go to the bathroom!?"
"I'll close my eyes, I swear. Come on, Hermione. If you tell, Malfoy would never let me forget it."
"Besides, Hermione, I think it might be fun to be Harry for a while." Ron piped up.
"Shut up, Ron," Harry and Hermione said at the same time.
"Jeez, fine."
"Please, Hermione, don't tell anyone. Besides, who'd believe you? All you'd get is a one way ticket to St. Mungo's."
"No I wouldn't!"
"I could see the conversation now," Harry mocked. "'Professor McGonagall, you have to help me! I switched bodies with Ron!' 'Ms. Granger, are you feeling well? Maybe the stress of school is getting to you,' and then-BAM-straight to Mungo's. Face it, we're stuck like this."
"I guess so," Hermione sniffed. Wow, thought Harry, I've never seen Ron cry before.
"Hermione," Ron ordered, "don't cry in my body!"
"Well, for the time being, it's my body, and I'll cry if I want to!"
"Just don't make a habit of it," Ron grumped. "I don't want you to give us away." He thought for a moment. "All right. Here's what we'll do. Let's go back to Gryffindor before Filch finds us here and we'll try to sleep. We can figure this out in the morning." Harry and Hermione stared. "Well," Ron shrugged, "I have Harry's body. Doesn't that mean that I get to make the plans?"
Harry sighed. "Ron's right. Let's just get out of here. There's nothing we can do about it now."
After an uneventful trip back to Gryffindor Tower the three friends climbed through the portal into the darkened common room.
"Ron, you go upstairs and change, then come back and get Hermione and show her where you keep your stuff," Harry whispered.
"Why can't I just go with Ron and get it over with?"
Harry blushed. "Because I don't want you to see me naked."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll wait down here with you."
Ron nodded and hurried up the tower stairs. Hermione and Harry had just sat on the loveseat by the dying fire when the tower door eased open.
They heard a whisper. "Quiet Fred, someone's in the room."
"Damn!" Harry hissed. "It's Fred and George."
"Oy, who's on the loveseat?" George called.
As Hermione and Harry turned to look at the portal, their faces were outlined by the low burning coals in the grate.
"Say, George, I think we've caught us a couple of love birds." Fred looked like Christmas had come early.
"I agree, old chap," replied George, equally elated.
Oh crap, Hermione thought, they think I'm Ron! And they think Harry is me! She willed them to go away.
"Ron, you old dog," said George as he patted Hermione's shoulder. "We were wondering how long it'd take you." Then he whispered confidentially, "I wish you would've waited though. Now I owe Fred two sickles."
"Well, Hermione," grinned Fred as he eased his way between them, "I thought you would hang out with a better class of people than ickle Ronniekins here. But, then again, who can resist the Weasley charms, eh?" Fred winked at Harry and nudged Hermione in the ribs.
"Come on, get out of here," Hermione said, feeling her ears turning redder than her hair.
"Oh, but we're just so proud of you!"
"Aww come on, Fred, lets cut him some slack this once, just this once though, because we're family."
Fred suddenly looked serious. "Fine, but we're going to have a talk with you two tomorrow. Don't try to get out of it. We'll find you."
"Yeah, okay, whatever, get out of here," Hermione said through clenched teeth.
When they left, Hermione noticed Harry had been strangely silent.
"Are you alright? They're gone you know."
"THANK GOD" cried Harry. "I couldn't hold it in anymore!" He fell off the loveseat and rolled on the floor, consumed with hysterical laughter.
Just then Ron came down the stairs "What's going on here?"
"Your brothers," Hermione replied.
"Oh God, what did they say?" Ron demanded, starting to sound frantic.
"It's ok," gasped Harry between laughs. "By the way, they're proud of you for getting to first base with me."
"OH GOD!" Ron cried.
"Quiet," hissed Hermione, "you'll wake the whole tower! Come on, Ron; let's go upstairs. I need to sleep."
Ron started up the stairs and Hermione stood and followed. Neither said anything to Harry who was still laughing and didn't notice them leave. Suddenly he thought of something important that killed his mirth instantly.
"Hermione," Harry asked the empty room in a quiet plaintive voice, "where's your room?"