Legal crap: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters. I do, however, own my thoughts, so don't steal them!
The Wrong Trousers
Act II: The Joys of Wearing the Collar
Heero walked down the sidewalk. It was going to be a while till he reached The Green Tank Top and Spandex Short Store. It would've been easier if he'd taken the car, but Quatre always had the keys and wasn't about to bring attention to his attire. On his way, he passed a church. Outside, a frazzled nun seemed to be looking for someone. Suddenly, upon spying Heero, she perked up and ran over to him.
"Thank the good Lord I finally found you! The line was starting to get very long and I was running out of excuses!" the nun said, smiling.
Heero was confused. "I think you have the wrong person..."
"Don't be silly, Father. No come on, the crowd is getting anxious."
"Father? What are you talking about?"
The nun pointed to Heero's (or Duo's) collar. "Father Maxwell, have you forgotten? You're supposed to do confessions today!"
It suddenly hit Heero. All those times Duo had to leave early on Sunday, claiming he had some errands to run, he was really doing confessions claiming he was a priest! Heero raised an eyebrow. Maybe this outfit did come with advantages...
The nun showed Heero to his side of the booth. Immediately, someone stepped in the other side.
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned," the person said, mechanically. The person paused, waiting for a response.
"Ugh, what'd you do?"
"I lied."
"So?"
"Tell me what to do to relieve my conscience."
"Hmm," Heero thought about the possibilities. He never realized that whatever he told these people to do, they'd gladly obey. "Go and shave your head," he said, saying the first thing he could think of saying.
"Why?"
"Because I said so, next!"
He heard the person leave the booth and another person come in. The person sat down. "Father, I did a bad thing," the female voice said, obviously not knowing the routine.
Heero had heard that voice before. Yes, it was a very familiar voice indeed. Then, he realized who it was. It was Relena. "What'd you do?" Heero asked, wondering how evil a pacifist could really be.
"I had sexual relations with another woman," Relena mumbled, obviously embarrassed.
Heero, seizing the opportunity to take advantage of Relena's cluelessness, decided to find out more. "Does this woman have a name?"
"Yes... but I thought this was supposed to be confidential!"
"It is! I won't tell anyone."
"Her name is... Dorothy Catalonia."
'Sick,' Heero thought to himself. He shuddered.
"So what should I do?" Relena pleaded.
"Blow up a colony," Heero replied. He had to test out just how powerful these suggestions really were.
"But I'm a pacifist!" Relena cried.
"Hey! Do you want to be purified or what?"
"Yes, I do..."
"Then blow up the colony!"
"Fine. Thank you Father."
Relena left the booth and another person came in. Heero continued like this all morning, totally forgetting the fact that he was wearing Duo's clothes and concentrating on manipulating people. 'Life is sweet,' Heero thought, smiling for the first time in years.
*~* Back at the Winner Mansion... *~*
"Heero, you baka! Please leave soon so I can go to the bathroom!" Duo whimpered, dancing around his room.
Downstairs, Quatre and Trowa continue their endless silence...
Will Relena blow up a colony? Will Heero make it to the store without getting embarrassed? Will Duo make it to the bathroom? Find out in Act III: Cutting it Close
*~*~*
So... what'd you think? Please review! Send all comments, questions, and CONTRUCTIVE criticisms to Sasami211@japan.com. Don't delay review today!
The Wrong Trousers
Act II: The Joys of Wearing the Collar
Heero walked down the sidewalk. It was going to be a while till he reached The Green Tank Top and Spandex Short Store. It would've been easier if he'd taken the car, but Quatre always had the keys and wasn't about to bring attention to his attire. On his way, he passed a church. Outside, a frazzled nun seemed to be looking for someone. Suddenly, upon spying Heero, she perked up and ran over to him.
"Thank the good Lord I finally found you! The line was starting to get very long and I was running out of excuses!" the nun said, smiling.
Heero was confused. "I think you have the wrong person..."
"Don't be silly, Father. No come on, the crowd is getting anxious."
"Father? What are you talking about?"
The nun pointed to Heero's (or Duo's) collar. "Father Maxwell, have you forgotten? You're supposed to do confessions today!"
It suddenly hit Heero. All those times Duo had to leave early on Sunday, claiming he had some errands to run, he was really doing confessions claiming he was a priest! Heero raised an eyebrow. Maybe this outfit did come with advantages...
The nun showed Heero to his side of the booth. Immediately, someone stepped in the other side.
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned," the person said, mechanically. The person paused, waiting for a response.
"Ugh, what'd you do?"
"I lied."
"So?"
"Tell me what to do to relieve my conscience."
"Hmm," Heero thought about the possibilities. He never realized that whatever he told these people to do, they'd gladly obey. "Go and shave your head," he said, saying the first thing he could think of saying.
"Why?"
"Because I said so, next!"
He heard the person leave the booth and another person come in. The person sat down. "Father, I did a bad thing," the female voice said, obviously not knowing the routine.
Heero had heard that voice before. Yes, it was a very familiar voice indeed. Then, he realized who it was. It was Relena. "What'd you do?" Heero asked, wondering how evil a pacifist could really be.
"I had sexual relations with another woman," Relena mumbled, obviously embarrassed.
Heero, seizing the opportunity to take advantage of Relena's cluelessness, decided to find out more. "Does this woman have a name?"
"Yes... but I thought this was supposed to be confidential!"
"It is! I won't tell anyone."
"Her name is... Dorothy Catalonia."
'Sick,' Heero thought to himself. He shuddered.
"So what should I do?" Relena pleaded.
"Blow up a colony," Heero replied. He had to test out just how powerful these suggestions really were.
"But I'm a pacifist!" Relena cried.
"Hey! Do you want to be purified or what?"
"Yes, I do..."
"Then blow up the colony!"
"Fine. Thank you Father."
Relena left the booth and another person came in. Heero continued like this all morning, totally forgetting the fact that he was wearing Duo's clothes and concentrating on manipulating people. 'Life is sweet,' Heero thought, smiling for the first time in years.
*~* Back at the Winner Mansion... *~*
"Heero, you baka! Please leave soon so I can go to the bathroom!" Duo whimpered, dancing around his room.
Downstairs, Quatre and Trowa continue their endless silence...
Will Relena blow up a colony? Will Heero make it to the store without getting embarrassed? Will Duo make it to the bathroom? Find out in Act III: Cutting it Close
*~*~*
So... what'd you think? Please review! Send all comments, questions, and CONTRUCTIVE criticisms to Sasami211@japan.com. Don't delay review today!