Legal: Same as always. I own nothing, I don't claim to own anything. Leave me be.
The Wrong Trousers
Part III: Cutting it Close
The sun started to go down as Heero continued walking down the street. It was only a few more blocks till he reached The Green Tanktop and Spandex Short Store and he was in no real hurry. After telling countless people to shave their heads, streak naked through the streets and blow up a couple colonies, the whole day was looking pretty bright. To make the day even better, he'd been able to avoid seeing anyone he knew.
Until suddenly, he heard a voice shouting at him from behind. "Duo! Hey Duo!" The voice called.
'Duo?' He thought. 'I guess their shouting at me...' He turned around to see Hilde running down the street. 'Uh oh. My cover is about to be blown. Hilde will see this and tell everyone!' But before he could explain himself, Hilde glomped him.
"Duo! I've missed you so much! We haven't talked in the longest time! You didn't tell me you cut your hair. I'm so proud of you!" Hilde kissed the unsuspecting Heero on the cheek.
"Uh... I..." Heero stammered for what to say. 'What do I do? Should I just let her sit here and make a fool of herself? Is she really that oblivious that she thinks I'm Duo, or is she just waiting for the right time to humiliate me?'
"You don't need to explain Duo! In fact, I'll treat you to a nice dinner!" Hilde grabbed Heero's (Duo's) collar and began dragging him down the street.
'Now I see why Duo likes her,' Heero thought, 'they're two of the same...' He sweatdropped, remembering all the times Duo had dragged him places in such a manner. Finally, Hilde stopped in front of Chez Americaine, a fancy american style... steak house.
"Here we are, Duo sweetie! Your favorite!"
Heero attempted to make a Duo-style smile. It didn't work very well, but Hilde didn't even seem to notice that her dining partner was strangely quiet and morose. 'Oh well,' Heero thought, 'at least I'll get a free meal out of this...'
Inside, it seemed like your typical expensive restaurant. Crystal chandeliers, violin players, everything seemed to be pretty standard. Well, until you looked at the people who were dining there... Red-necked hillbillies in tuxedoes and puffy Relena-style pinky dresses packed the elegant dining room. PWTs* stuffing their face full of prime rib and "hog on a stick" while shouting things such as "Monsoor, git yer lil frenchy butt o'er here so we's can all order!". Yes, this restaurant screamed Duo.
"Mr. French Guy!" Hilde yelled, sounding at home in this strange rogue's gallery restaurant. "Me and my here boyfriend wants our usual table!"
"Right this way, mademoiselle," the French waiter replied.
Hilde continued to drag Heero to the table at the back of the restaurant. "Maersi," Hilde said, giggling. They sat down and looked at the menu. Things like "Lamb o'cobob" and "The Road Kill Special" seemed very out of sync with prices like 100 and 150 dollars.
"So, what're you gonna have Duo?" Hilde asked.
"Ugh, I think I'll have the "Finger Lickin' Chicken"," said Heero, figuring that was the most normal thing on the menu.
Hilde shot him a funny look. "I thought you didn't like chicken. At least, that's what you told me last winter when I said I'd make you some chicken soup."
Heero was trapped. 'Blow my cover, or ruin Duo's love life?' The answer was pretty simple. "I don't like your chicken soup," Heero said coldly.
Hilde began to cry. "I was just trying to be nice Duo! Why do you always have to be so mean to me! Wah!"
Heero looked for some sort of distraction. Suddenly, he spotted it. A few tables over, Wufei and Treize were conversing over a tub of greasy, fried chicken. Trying to sound as much like Duo as possible, Heero shouted out, "Hey Wu-man! Wanna share?"
Heero couldn't see Wufei's face, but judging by Trieze's expression, Wufei was pissed as hell. As the Nataku pilot turned around, Heero could see his beady eyes, bright with anger. Wufei walked over.
"WHAT did you call me, Maxwell?" Wufei growled.
Heero grinned, in Duo's usual impish grin. "I called you Wu-man, wu-man."
"That's it!" Wufei screeched. "You are so dead."
Trieze decided to step in before someone knocked over his bucket of chicken. "Stop it Wufei. Just ignore him and he'll go away." Trieze grabbed Wufei's clenched fist.
Wufei began to calm down. 'No way,' Heero thought. 'I made this distraction and you're not going to stop it.' Feeling suddenly inspired, Heero stuck out his tongue at Wufei.
Wufei's face turned bright red. Breaking away from Trieze's weak grasp, he attacked Heero. Grabbing Hilde's wrist, Heero quickly ran out of the restaurant.
Hilde's eyes were filled with stars. "Oh Duo, you were so brave back there! The way you... uh... stuck out your tongue at him, it was perfect! Well, I'd better be going. Thanks for a great meal!" Hilde kissed Heero's cheek and ran down the street.
'Baka onna,' Heero thought. 'Doesn't remember the fight or the fact that we didn't stay long enough to eat anything. He continued his walk down the street. Oh well, guess I won't be getting a free meal today...'
*~* Back at Winner Mansion... *~*
Quatre looked up from page 1 of his book he'd "began" the night before. "Have you noticed it's been strangely quiet around here?"
"..."
"Do you think Heero and Duo are... uh... injured?"
"..."
*~* Up in Duo's Room... *~*
'Heero, please hurry,' Duo whimpered in agony. 'I knew I shouldn't have had all the wine...'
Will Heero ever make it to the Green Tank Top and Spandex Shorts Store? Will Wufei ever figure out who REALLY beat him up? Will Duo make it to the bathroom in time? Find out in the next part of the Wrong Trousers: Part IV: Waiting for... tomorrow
*~*~*
*PWT = Poor White Trash Yes, I know this is a derogatory term, but I couldn't help myself. I was at a loss for words... -_-;;
You like? You no like? Tell me! Email me with all comments, questions, and CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms at Sasami211@japan.com. Ja ne!
The Wrong Trousers
Part III: Cutting it Close
The sun started to go down as Heero continued walking down the street. It was only a few more blocks till he reached The Green Tanktop and Spandex Short Store and he was in no real hurry. After telling countless people to shave their heads, streak naked through the streets and blow up a couple colonies, the whole day was looking pretty bright. To make the day even better, he'd been able to avoid seeing anyone he knew.
Until suddenly, he heard a voice shouting at him from behind. "Duo! Hey Duo!" The voice called.
'Duo?' He thought. 'I guess their shouting at me...' He turned around to see Hilde running down the street. 'Uh oh. My cover is about to be blown. Hilde will see this and tell everyone!' But before he could explain himself, Hilde glomped him.
"Duo! I've missed you so much! We haven't talked in the longest time! You didn't tell me you cut your hair. I'm so proud of you!" Hilde kissed the unsuspecting Heero on the cheek.
"Uh... I..." Heero stammered for what to say. 'What do I do? Should I just let her sit here and make a fool of herself? Is she really that oblivious that she thinks I'm Duo, or is she just waiting for the right time to humiliate me?'
"You don't need to explain Duo! In fact, I'll treat you to a nice dinner!" Hilde grabbed Heero's (Duo's) collar and began dragging him down the street.
'Now I see why Duo likes her,' Heero thought, 'they're two of the same...' He sweatdropped, remembering all the times Duo had dragged him places in such a manner. Finally, Hilde stopped in front of Chez Americaine, a fancy american style... steak house.
"Here we are, Duo sweetie! Your favorite!"
Heero attempted to make a Duo-style smile. It didn't work very well, but Hilde didn't even seem to notice that her dining partner was strangely quiet and morose. 'Oh well,' Heero thought, 'at least I'll get a free meal out of this...'
Inside, it seemed like your typical expensive restaurant. Crystal chandeliers, violin players, everything seemed to be pretty standard. Well, until you looked at the people who were dining there... Red-necked hillbillies in tuxedoes and puffy Relena-style pinky dresses packed the elegant dining room. PWTs* stuffing their face full of prime rib and "hog on a stick" while shouting things such as "Monsoor, git yer lil frenchy butt o'er here so we's can all order!". Yes, this restaurant screamed Duo.
"Mr. French Guy!" Hilde yelled, sounding at home in this strange rogue's gallery restaurant. "Me and my here boyfriend wants our usual table!"
"Right this way, mademoiselle," the French waiter replied.
Hilde continued to drag Heero to the table at the back of the restaurant. "Maersi," Hilde said, giggling. They sat down and looked at the menu. Things like "Lamb o'cobob" and "The Road Kill Special" seemed very out of sync with prices like 100 and 150 dollars.
"So, what're you gonna have Duo?" Hilde asked.
"Ugh, I think I'll have the "Finger Lickin' Chicken"," said Heero, figuring that was the most normal thing on the menu.
Hilde shot him a funny look. "I thought you didn't like chicken. At least, that's what you told me last winter when I said I'd make you some chicken soup."
Heero was trapped. 'Blow my cover, or ruin Duo's love life?' The answer was pretty simple. "I don't like your chicken soup," Heero said coldly.
Hilde began to cry. "I was just trying to be nice Duo! Why do you always have to be so mean to me! Wah!"
Heero looked for some sort of distraction. Suddenly, he spotted it. A few tables over, Wufei and Treize were conversing over a tub of greasy, fried chicken. Trying to sound as much like Duo as possible, Heero shouted out, "Hey Wu-man! Wanna share?"
Heero couldn't see Wufei's face, but judging by Trieze's expression, Wufei was pissed as hell. As the Nataku pilot turned around, Heero could see his beady eyes, bright with anger. Wufei walked over.
"WHAT did you call me, Maxwell?" Wufei growled.
Heero grinned, in Duo's usual impish grin. "I called you Wu-man, wu-man."
"That's it!" Wufei screeched. "You are so dead."
Trieze decided to step in before someone knocked over his bucket of chicken. "Stop it Wufei. Just ignore him and he'll go away." Trieze grabbed Wufei's clenched fist.
Wufei began to calm down. 'No way,' Heero thought. 'I made this distraction and you're not going to stop it.' Feeling suddenly inspired, Heero stuck out his tongue at Wufei.
Wufei's face turned bright red. Breaking away from Trieze's weak grasp, he attacked Heero. Grabbing Hilde's wrist, Heero quickly ran out of the restaurant.
Hilde's eyes were filled with stars. "Oh Duo, you were so brave back there! The way you... uh... stuck out your tongue at him, it was perfect! Well, I'd better be going. Thanks for a great meal!" Hilde kissed Heero's cheek and ran down the street.
'Baka onna,' Heero thought. 'Doesn't remember the fight or the fact that we didn't stay long enough to eat anything. He continued his walk down the street. Oh well, guess I won't be getting a free meal today...'
*~* Back at Winner Mansion... *~*
Quatre looked up from page 1 of his book he'd "began" the night before. "Have you noticed it's been strangely quiet around here?"
"..."
"Do you think Heero and Duo are... uh... injured?"
"..."
*~* Up in Duo's Room... *~*
'Heero, please hurry,' Duo whimpered in agony. 'I knew I shouldn't have had all the wine...'
Will Heero ever make it to the Green Tank Top and Spandex Shorts Store? Will Wufei ever figure out who REALLY beat him up? Will Duo make it to the bathroom in time? Find out in the next part of the Wrong Trousers: Part IV: Waiting for... tomorrow
*~*~*
*PWT = Poor White Trash Yes, I know this is a derogatory term, but I couldn't help myself. I was at a loss for words... -_-;;
You like? You no like? Tell me! Email me with all comments, questions, and CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms at Sasami211@japan.com. Ja ne!