Legal: (sigh) Do I REALLY need to do this again? I own nothing. Go chase an ambulance.
The Wrong Trousers
Part IV: Waiting for... tomorrow
By the time Heero reached The Green Tank Top and Spandex Shorts Store, it was 10:30. Heero grunted as he looked at the closed sign on the door. 'Since when does Dr. J close up shop at 10:30?' He reflected. 'Oh well, guess I'll be spending tonight outside.' He went to grab a sleeping bag out of spandex space*, but suddenly remembered the purpose for his outing. So instead, he lay down on the pavement and decided to sleep till the shop opened in the morning.
*~* The next morning...*~*
Heero woke up to someone kicking him in the ribs. "No Duo, not now," he groaned. "I'm still sore from last night..." He sat up with a jolt. This wasn't Duo's bed. Duo wasn't even here. Instead, he was sitting on the pavement outside The Green Tank Top and Spandex Shorts Store while Dr. J was kicking him.
"Damn," Dr. J grunted. "I thought you were finally dead- I mean, I'm so glad your not dead!"
Heero mumbled something about future assassination and walked into the store. He bought 365 green tank tops, 365 pairs of spandex shorts and called it a day. 'This should do me for the next year.'
He ran into the dressing room and changed into one of his outfits. As he walked down the street, he saw Wufei frantically running around, frothing at the mouth.
"Where's Maxwell?" Wufei screamed, ripping out his ponytail.
"What?"
"Where's that little freak who tried to mess with me! I'll kill him! I'll kill him!"
"Uh, I don't know, maybe he's back at the house..."
Without saying anything, Wufei bolted back toward Winner mansion. 'For his sake, I hope Duo isn't home.'
Afraid of feeling a little guilty for Duo's destruction (besides the fact that he faced being alone in bed forever), Heero ran after Wufei.
*~* Back at Winner Mansion... *~*
Wufei slammed the front door, breaking the new doorknob. All he found was Quatre at the table, staring at page one of his book, and Trowa staring at Quatre. No Duo, no action, nothing had changed. "Where's Maxwell?" Wufei growled.
Quatre looked up and thought for a moment. "Haven't seen him all day. I guess he's out."
Wufei did a Xena war cry and ran out the door, knocking it off its hinges. Quatre sighed. Having Wufei in the house was getting expensive. Heero walked through the door. "Where's Duo?"
"Why is everyone looking for Duo today? Honestly, I haven't seen him at all. Actually, I never saw you leave. For I all I know, he could still be in his room."
Heero rolled his eyes. 'Okay, so maybe Duo's wasn't smart enough to just come downstairs.' He walked up the stairs and opened the door to Duo's room. Inside, Duo had made quite a mess. The floor was a mess, the shelves had been knocked down, the whole room resembled a room containing a lone puppy. In the middle of the war zone stood Duo, royal blue eyes bright and happy from all the destruction he'd caused.
"What happened?" Heero asked, raising an eyebrow.
"If I can't destroy people, I feel the need to destroy things," Duo smiled, cocking his head.
Heero took a long whiff of the air around him and grimaced. "What's that smell?"
Duo instantly turned red. "Heh... heh... I must have... uh, knocked over some old after-shave."
"But you don't shave..."
"Hilde likes the way it smells."
"Right," Heero muttered. He knew what had happened. After 2 bottles of wine and 26 hours of staying in a room, it was pretty obvious.
Suddenly, hysterical laughter was heard from downstairs. "Hey Heero! Relena's on TV!" Quatre called up the stairs.
"Relena?"
Heero grabbed Duo and dragged him downstairs. Yup, it was Relena all right.
"In a freak event," the newscaster reported, "the ruler of the Cinq Kingdom and former World leader, Relena Peacecraft has been taken into custody after attempting to blow up a colony."
"Blow up a colony?" Duo repeated. "Why would she try to do that?"
"In a recent interview, Ms. Peacecraft states that it 'The Lord made her do it' and that her actions were 'the will of God'. Despite many firm followers' arguments that Ms. Peacecraft is simply acting the same as Joan of Arc, she will be tried in the court of law..."
Everyone in the room was dumbfounded. Well, all but Heero. 'Oh the joy of wearing the wrong trousers...'
The End!!!!
*~*~*
*Spandex space is a term I use to describe how Heero suddenly pulls guns out of no where. I think there's a black hole in there, but that's another fic/rant entirely ^_^;;
Do you like it? Review! Send all comments, questions and CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms to Sasami211@japan.com Ja ne!
The Wrong Trousers
Part IV: Waiting for... tomorrow
By the time Heero reached The Green Tank Top and Spandex Shorts Store, it was 10:30. Heero grunted as he looked at the closed sign on the door. 'Since when does Dr. J close up shop at 10:30?' He reflected. 'Oh well, guess I'll be spending tonight outside.' He went to grab a sleeping bag out of spandex space*, but suddenly remembered the purpose for his outing. So instead, he lay down on the pavement and decided to sleep till the shop opened in the morning.
*~* The next morning...*~*
Heero woke up to someone kicking him in the ribs. "No Duo, not now," he groaned. "I'm still sore from last night..." He sat up with a jolt. This wasn't Duo's bed. Duo wasn't even here. Instead, he was sitting on the pavement outside The Green Tank Top and Spandex Shorts Store while Dr. J was kicking him.
"Damn," Dr. J grunted. "I thought you were finally dead- I mean, I'm so glad your not dead!"
Heero mumbled something about future assassination and walked into the store. He bought 365 green tank tops, 365 pairs of spandex shorts and called it a day. 'This should do me for the next year.'
He ran into the dressing room and changed into one of his outfits. As he walked down the street, he saw Wufei frantically running around, frothing at the mouth.
"Where's Maxwell?" Wufei screamed, ripping out his ponytail.
"What?"
"Where's that little freak who tried to mess with me! I'll kill him! I'll kill him!"
"Uh, I don't know, maybe he's back at the house..."
Without saying anything, Wufei bolted back toward Winner mansion. 'For his sake, I hope Duo isn't home.'
Afraid of feeling a little guilty for Duo's destruction (besides the fact that he faced being alone in bed forever), Heero ran after Wufei.
*~* Back at Winner Mansion... *~*
Wufei slammed the front door, breaking the new doorknob. All he found was Quatre at the table, staring at page one of his book, and Trowa staring at Quatre. No Duo, no action, nothing had changed. "Where's Maxwell?" Wufei growled.
Quatre looked up and thought for a moment. "Haven't seen him all day. I guess he's out."
Wufei did a Xena war cry and ran out the door, knocking it off its hinges. Quatre sighed. Having Wufei in the house was getting expensive. Heero walked through the door. "Where's Duo?"
"Why is everyone looking for Duo today? Honestly, I haven't seen him at all. Actually, I never saw you leave. For I all I know, he could still be in his room."
Heero rolled his eyes. 'Okay, so maybe Duo's wasn't smart enough to just come downstairs.' He walked up the stairs and opened the door to Duo's room. Inside, Duo had made quite a mess. The floor was a mess, the shelves had been knocked down, the whole room resembled a room containing a lone puppy. In the middle of the war zone stood Duo, royal blue eyes bright and happy from all the destruction he'd caused.
"What happened?" Heero asked, raising an eyebrow.
"If I can't destroy people, I feel the need to destroy things," Duo smiled, cocking his head.
Heero took a long whiff of the air around him and grimaced. "What's that smell?"
Duo instantly turned red. "Heh... heh... I must have... uh, knocked over some old after-shave."
"But you don't shave..."
"Hilde likes the way it smells."
"Right," Heero muttered. He knew what had happened. After 2 bottles of wine and 26 hours of staying in a room, it was pretty obvious.
Suddenly, hysterical laughter was heard from downstairs. "Hey Heero! Relena's on TV!" Quatre called up the stairs.
"Relena?"
Heero grabbed Duo and dragged him downstairs. Yup, it was Relena all right.
"In a freak event," the newscaster reported, "the ruler of the Cinq Kingdom and former World leader, Relena Peacecraft has been taken into custody after attempting to blow up a colony."
"Blow up a colony?" Duo repeated. "Why would she try to do that?"
"In a recent interview, Ms. Peacecraft states that it 'The Lord made her do it' and that her actions were 'the will of God'. Despite many firm followers' arguments that Ms. Peacecraft is simply acting the same as Joan of Arc, she will be tried in the court of law..."
Everyone in the room was dumbfounded. Well, all but Heero. 'Oh the joy of wearing the wrong trousers...'
The End!!!!
*~*~*
*Spandex space is a term I use to describe how Heero suddenly pulls guns out of no where. I think there's a black hole in there, but that's another fic/rant entirely ^_^;;
Do you like it? Review! Send all comments, questions and CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms to Sasami211@japan.com Ja ne!