Interviews with DBZ Stars! This Week: Piccolo!
By: Animaga and Lizzie! (Mostly Animaga)
It was a nice , peaceful day on the Planet Earth. Suddenly, a space pod with no landing capabilities what so ever, lands near a farmer who is raking up his mutated pink flamingo's crap. It lands next (or about a mile away, whatever) to the poor farmer, who couldn't speak good English at all.
" Good gee darn it! There landed a meteor in that there yard of mine!" he cried. Obviously, since I already told you it was NOT a meteor, but a space pod! So, the stupid farmer, (I mean, come on! METAL meteor?! STUPID! *Ahem*) drives up on his little 'ole pink truck to the 100 foot deep crater. Then, he takes out a shot gun. (Does this scene look familiar to anyone?) He approaches the "meteor" with extreme caution. Actually, he runs up there and starts yelling his head off about his property. " ALL RIGHTY! I'MA GONNA SHOOTS THAT DURN HEAD OF YOURS OFFA YOU'SE DURN SHOULDERS IFFA YOU'SE DON'TS GETS OFFA MY PROPERTY!" And he continues ranting and raving about the property until the "meteor" opens up. Out steps two extremely tall girls. One of them has spiky dark brown hair, eyes, and tail. She has on a tight spandex suit, with white gloves and boots. Her companion is a girl with almost black hair, deep brown eyes, and an Italian complexion. She is wearing jean shorts, and a vivid orange tank top. The girl with the tail looks at the girl with out one.
" Honestly Lizzie! Could you have at LEAST dressed for the occasion?!"
Lizzie picked at some lint on her shirt " WHAT occasion? We came to the DBZ world. Big deal. Your to obsessed Ani."
The tail on the girl puffed out and all the hairs on it stuck out. " It is a big deal! We are interviewing the stars of DBZ! We are here for a purpose! And for the last time, it's not Ani, it's Animaga! A-n-i-m-a-g-a! Get it right!"
" OK, whatever, lets just get this over with so that I can get back, the MTV Movie awards are on tonight." Said Lizzie.
By this time, the anonymous farmer was just about ready to blow some one's head off. Gosh darnit! Their not supposed to be on his property! " SINCE'S YOU'SE GIRLS IS HUMAN, I'MA GONNA GIVE YOU TA THE COUNTA 10 FER YOU'SE TA GET'S OFFA MY PROPERTY! 1…2…3…4…5…7…no, wait, um…1…2…5…dangit!"
Animaga looked up at the farmer, struggling to remember what he learned so long ago in pre-school (which he graduated from a week ago, by the way.). She nudges Lizzie. " Check it out. Farmer Brown came to spy on us."
Lizzie looked up, interested. " So, where are the Z-fighters? Is he a new recruit or something?"
Animaga slapped herself. " NO! He's the idiot Farmer that tried to kill Raditz when he first came to earth to look for Goku!"
Lizzie looked puzzled. So did " Farmer Brown". " Whose Radish?" they both asked together.
Animaga sighed loudly, then went over and started banging her head against the "meteor". She did this until it cracked on the impact of her head. Lizzie laughed at that.
" Smart, Ani. Dang, you got some hard head there."
" Don't remind me…" grumbled Animaga. She looked up again at the farmer. Then she flies up to him. Lizzie stares at her. " HEY! How'd you do that?!?!"
Animaga smiles at her. " Really simple. I just made a little wish and flew."
" Really? Lemme try!" Lizzie makes a wish and nothing happens. She tries again. Still, nothing. She looks up at Animaga, whose smirking. " Hey! It's not working!"
" Obviously, stupid. This is the DBZ world, not NeverNever land. Just suppress your ki."
Lizzie looked at herself. " What?"
Animaga sighed. " Concentrate on flying. Feel the air in your hair, something of the sort."
Lizzie looked at her. " You were thinking of the wind in your face and all the stuff?"
" No. Since I'm writing the story, I get to do what ever I want, and be what ever I want." Said Animaga happily.
" So, by the outfit, I take it your pretending to be a Saiyan?"
" No, I AM a Saiyan."
" Whatever. I'm helping you with the story! Let me fly!"
" OK." Lizzie is suddenly flying while Animaga landed on the ground.
" Hey! I feel kinda like Peter Pan!" Lizzie started swimming in the air. " This is fun!"
" Uh-huh." Said Animaga distractedly. She was fixing a scouter on the side of her face. When she had it in place, it started beeping. She turned her head to south, and smiled happily. " All right! I found one of them!"
" Which one?" Asked Lizzie.
" Piccolo-Sama I believe."
Lizzie snorted. " Figures. First DBZ guy we meet, and it's Piccolo."
" Who would you prefer? Goten?"
" Yes."
" Oh well, Piccolo is closer."
" How much closer?"
" A lot closer."
" Do you realize that we're getting no where with this conversation?"
" Yes I did."
" Then why are we still having it?"
" Beats me."
" Maybe we should stop."
" You first."
" No you."
" You."
" YOU."
" YOU!!!"
" YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
" I said, YOU!!!!!!!"
" And I said, YOU!!!!!!!!!"
" Wait, what were we talking about?"
" I don't know anymore."
" …"
" I feel kinda stupid now."
" So do I."
" Lets just go and find Piccolo."
" OK!"
Animaga looks down at the farmer. He is STILL trying to remember what comes after 5. She clicks her tongue. " Hey, Farmer Brown! It's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! Remember that!"
She flies off, Lizzie tailing her. " Did you really need to tell him that?"
Animaga looks back at her, puzzled. " Why wouldn't I?"
" Don't you think it would have been funny if he just went on through his life not knowing what came after 5?"
" I really see know humor in that."
Lizzie shook her head. " Your way to goodie-goodie…This shows you've been watching to much DBZ, you know, your starting to act like those good guys"
" I know."
" You don't care, do you?"
" Nope."
Lizzie shrugs. " Oh well. Your life, not mine."
" Uh-huh."
" Could we please stop having these types of conversations?"
" Hey, I'm choosing to drop the subject, you're the one that keeps talking about other stuff."
" Cause I don't want to be a bore like you are."
" I am not a bore!"
" Well, you're certainly not a leader. Much more of a follower."
" Hey, when did the conversation turn to followers and leaders?"
" Since I made it that way."
" Whatever. Just be quiet for awhile, OK?"
" No, I refuse."
" Fine, be stubborn."
" Fine, I will."
" Fine."
" FINE."
" FINE!!!"
" FINE!!!!!!"
" FINE!!!!!!!!!!!"
" FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
" JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!"
" WHY DON"T YOU?!"
" WHY DON"T WE BOTH UNTIL WE GET TO PICCOLO?!"
" FINE BY ME!"
" OK!"
Both Animaga and Lizzie both kept their mouths closed, but still throwing glares back and forth at each other.
Lizzie and Animaga landed outside of a forest. Lizzie was timid on going in. " Are you POSITIVE that Piccolo is here?"
" The scouter never lies." Said Animaga, pointing to her prized possession.
" It better not…" said Lizzie threateningly.
" Why so timid to go into the woods?" said Animaga mischievously. " Are you AFRAID?"
Lizzie squeaked. " NO! I am not afraid of some stupid forest!"
" Then go in there and find Piccolo for us. It shouldn't be hard, he's a big green Namekian." Said Animaga casually.
Lizzie looked horrified. " Why don't YOU go?! You're so eager to find him!" She paused for a moment. " And, by the way, what's a Namekian?"
Animaga looked at her for a moment then started banging her head against a near-by tree. Lizzie stared at her for a second, then started laughing. " Ani, you'll break the tree if you don't quit!"
" That's" Bang. " What" Bang. " I'm" Bang. "Trying" Bang. " To" Bang. "Do!!" Bang. Suddenly, there was a sharp crack, and the trunk of the tree split. Lizzie went hysterical. She was rolling on the ground, trying to catch her breathe and clutching her side. She finally looked up to Animaga and wiped the tears from her eyes.
" Are you quite through?" asked Animaga.
" No." Lizzie started laughing again. Animaga grew a little angry. She picked Lizzie up by the back of her shirt and threw her into the woods. She couldn't hear Lizzie's laughter anymore, so she must have stopped. She went about 30 feet away form the tree's and sat cross-legged on the ground. She waited for Lizzie to come back. She didn't have to wait long.
Suddenly, Lizzie came tearing out of the woods, screaming. " HE'S BEEN MURDERED! HE'S DEAD! SOME ONE KILLED PICCOLO! IT'S AWFUL! OMIGOSH! IT'S SO GROSS! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S DEAD!"
The color drained out of Animaga's face. She ran up to Lizzie, who was now jumping up and down in one spot, screaming her head off. She took her by the shoulders and shook her hard. " WHAT DO YOU MEAN PICCOLO IS DEAD?! DID YOU SEE HIS BODY?! SHOW ME WHERE YOU FOUND HIM!!"
Lizzie sniffed and then wordlessly walked back into he forest, Animaga following her. She stopped in a clearing and pointed to the ground. Animaga looked over and then started laughing. There was a green and pink arm lying lifeless on the ground." You baka! Piccolo's not dead just because he lost an arm! Namekian's can lose an arm then regenerate it back!"
" I didn't care if Piccolo died or not, that arm is disgusting! Get it away, get it away!" yelled Lizzie. Animaga shot a small ki blast at it.
" Yum, this would make a great Big Mac…" said Animaga.
Lizzie screamed. " ANI! THAT'S SO DISGUSTING! YOUR TOTALLY SICK!!" Animaga shrugged and the arms evaporated. She dusted off her hands and started walking on a dirt path.
" Come on, Lets go and get Piccolo, and this time, lets actually FIND him." Said Animaga.
They walked deeper and deeper into the forest on a dirt path that they just started following. Lizzie muttered " I keep thinking I'm gonna see a pokemon here or something…"
Animaga rolled her eyes. " Please! That's totally the wrong show! And what would a pokemon be doing in the DBZ w- AHHHHHHHHH!!!!" screamed Animaga. She jumped into Lizzie's arms and started screaming again. A little yellow Pikachu had ran across her path. " HOLY CRAP, THEY ARE IN THE DBZ WORLD!!!!"
" SEE?! SEE?! I TOLD YOU THEY'D BE HERE! BUT YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! NO, CAN'T LISTEN TO POOR LIZZIE!" yelled Lizzie in Animaga's ear.
" JUST START RUNNING!" screamed Animaga. " THOSE THINGS FREAK ME OUT!"
" OK." Lizzie promptly dropped Animaga on the ground and started running away. Animaga stared at her in shock for a few minutes, then started yelling. " GET BACK HERE! I MEANT RUN WITH ME IN YOUR ARMS!!!"
Suddenly, she was swarmed with Pikachu's! They all started saying their names, and some even tried to do their lightening attacks on her. Then, they broke into song. Animaga screeched and covered her ears, but she couldn't block out the annoying melody of the Pikachu's!
" Pika, Chu, Pika-a-a-chuuu! Pika, Chu, Pika-a-a-chuuu! Pika-Chuuuu-!!!!!" Animaga shot a huge ki blast at all the Pikachu's that were near her. Then she went on a Pikachu massacre!
" Take that! And that! And that! And this is for beating Bulbasaur! And this is for shocking Ash so many times! HAHAHAHA! DIE YOU LITTE RATS, DIE!!!!!"
This continued until all the Pikachu's were completely dead. Animaga stood over their little yellow bodies and just started laughing insanely. Then, Lizzie showed up. She looked around a moment, then stared at Animaga, who was still laughing insanely.
" Dang, girl…" said Lizzie. " You mowed them Pikachu's down good!"
" Oh yeah! I just saved the world! Uh-huh, uh-huh, I'm good, I'm good…" Animaga started doing a little dance. Lizzie stared at her.
" Um, Ani, I don't think you saved the world by just killing some Pikachu's…"
" So?"
" Never mind."
" Well, lets get going! We need that interview if we wanna make the deadline!" She started walking away on the path. Lizzie walked behind, making sure she stepped on all the little Pikachu bodies that she passed.
" Thank Gosh their dead." Said Lizzie.
Animaga and Lizzie made it to another clearing. Animaga screamed. " THERE HE IS!! PICCOLO- SAMA!! WE FOUND HIM!!" She pointed to a floating figure about 10 yards away. It was a wonder that Piccolo didn't hear her, what with hi acute hearing and all. But, he was sleeping, ( I know, you expected me to say meditating, but I didn't!), and he was having a rather pleasant dream, so his guard was being let down.
" Well what are we waiting for? Let's go get this interview over with." Said Lizzie She started running toward him, but Animaga tackled her. " GIRL, I DON'T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT!!"
" BAKA!! You don't go up to a Namekian, especially Piccolo, and then start interviewing him. He'll probably kill you!!" said Animaga seriously. She got off of Lizzie.
" You make it sound like he is an animal or something." Mumbled Lizzie, brushing herself off.
" He might be, we don't know much about his race." Animaga took out a beach bag from no where.
" Where'd ya get that?" asked Lizzie.
" Oh, it just appeared in my hand."
" Really?"
" No."
" Oh."
" I materialized it."
" You what?"
" I made it appear out of thin air."
" Can I do that?"
" I dunno can you?"
" I'll try"
Suddenly paper, an orange crayon, cheese , a bottle of water and paper appeared in Lizzie's hand. She squeals happily then lies on the ground and starts drawing.
Animaga looks down at her." You done?"
" Uh-huh." Lizzie gets up and shows Animaga her picture, shoving it right in her face. It's a picture of an orange car running over an orange Piccolo. Animaga takes her drawing and angrily tears it up. "PICCOLO IS NOT ORANGE!! HOW DARE YOU INSULT HIM!!"
" I dare"
" Shut up."
" You know, I made copies."
" You didn't!"
" I did."
" Oh, well. Piccolo's the one that's gotta be afraid, not me."
" You're the obsessed one!"
" And that's supposed to mean anything?"
" No."
" OK then."
There was a silence for a few moments.
" So," said Lizzie. " How do we interview Piccolo?"
Animaga grinned evilly. " We trap him."
" How?"
Animaga took out her beach bag again. She took out a huge box that could have never fit in there, a pole and a rope. " This'll capture our Namekian."
Lizzie looked at it blankly, until realization dawned on her face. " Oh…I get it. The 'ole Box Propped on a Stick trick."
Animaga nodded. She propped the box on the pole and then tied the rope to the stick. (Well, you people know how the trick goes, so forget about the details.) Lizzie followed her through the procedure, and they both hid behind a bush after that. Lizzie looked over the bush to the trap.
" Kinda obvious, don't you think, Ani?"
" Maybe Piccolo won't notice, he is Namekian after all."
" You make it seem like his race is stupid or something."
" Well, Look at Goku, then look at Vegeta."
Lizzie thought. " Good point."
Animaga looked over at their trap then she clapped a hand on her forehead and swore.
" I forgot bait!"
" Why do we need bait?"
" Cause all good traps have bait."
" Says who?"
" Says Bugs Bunny." Animaga thought for a moment, then looked over at Lizzie.
" Lizzie, give me your cheese."
" No."
" Why not?"
" Cause I ate it."
" OK, well, gimme the water, Namekian's don't eat anyway."
" I had to wash that cheese down with something."
" You ate them both?!"
" I drank the water."
Animaga growled. " LIZZIE!!!"
Lizzie growled back. " ANI!!!"
Animaga sat on the ground for a moment and thought. " I can't materialize either, if Piccolo put up a fight, then I'll need my strength." She rubbed her chin in thought.
Lizzie thought to. (something you don't see very often. Kidding Liz! ^_^) Her mind trailed to the picture that she drew, but never really copied cause she was just making Animaga more mad. Then she had an idea. She took out her orange crayon.
" Oh, no." groaned Animaga. " Not your stupid crayon again."
" F.Y.I, It's not any more stupid then your scouter, and I was thinking, since we can do just about anything in the DBZ world, how about I just use my crayon to draw something up? You know, like in that book with the kid and his funky purple chalk?"
Animaga jumped up and hugged Lizzie. " Your brilliant!…And don't tell anyone I ever said that, or you'll live to regret it."
Lizzie shoved Animaga off. " Don't worry, I don't think I want people to know that you hugged me, ewww!"
Animaga grinned. " So, get coloring! What are you going to draw? A pail of water? Some leaves? Food in general?"
" Something better." Lizzie crept over to where Piccolo was sleeping. Then she began to draw the car that was in her picture, right in front of Piccolo. When she was done, she got into the drivers seat. Then she gunned the engine. She yelled out the window, " GET READY ANI! HERE'S YOUR WAKE UP CALL, PICCOLO!" She gunned the engine louder. Animaga gripped the rope. Piccolo's eyes snapped open and he stared at the orange car in front of him. Lizzie geared the car and started driving into Piccolo! He was frozen in place, and Lizzie's car hit him. He was flung onto the front window and he grabbed hold for dear life!
Then, Lizzie hit the brakes so suddenly, Piccolo was thrown into the box, and Animaga then snapped the rope so the stick fell. The box landed neatly on Piccolo shocked face. Animaga started cheering. " All right! We did it! Now we can get that interview!
Lizzie hopped out of the drivers seat. " We sure did. Now what?"
" We gotta punch air holes in the top so he can breathe." Said Animaga. She toke out a pencil and started jabbing at the top with it. Soon there we lots of little holes on the top. Lizzie looked at the box.
" Since he's, like, a powerful guy from DBZ, can't he, like, get out by blasting himself out?" asked Lizzie.
Animaga looked at the box. " I guess he could." She shrugged. " If he does, he won't get very far."
Soon as she said that, the box was blown up, and out stepped Piccolo from the debris or cardboard. He quickly stepped over to Lizzie, grabbed her by the throat and slammed her up against a tree. Lizzie made a few gurgling remarks. Animaga could only make out, " Help…me…"
Piccolo growled at her, baring his fangs. " Mind telling me why you just rammed me with a car a few minutes ago and trapped me in a fucking box?!" he hissed at her.
Lizzie choked out the words, " For…an…inter…view…"
Piccolo stared at her coldly. " I should kill you for putting me through that, you realize."
Animaga, who had been looking on in shock that her plan of Box Propped on a Stick didn't work, suddenly snapped out. She went over and started tugging on Piccolo's arm. " Piccolo-sama, Don't kill my friend! We just wanted an interview!"
Piccolo whirled on her. " WHY SHOULD I GIVE YOU AN INTERVIEW?!" he all but screamed at her. " YOU RAMMED WE WITH A FUCKING CAR, TRAPPED ME IN A BOX, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU ARE!! JUST GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULD EVEN CONSIDER GIVING YOU AN INTERVIEW!!"
Lizzie suddenly whipped out a stun gun and shocked Piccolo's arm till her let go. She fell to the ground then floated over to Animaga. " Cause we want to get back to our own time as quickly as possible, and Ani here just loves you to death!"
" Ani?" asked Piccolo. He looked over at the Saiyan female. He spied her tail. " Are you a Saiyan?"
" Well, Duh! She has a tail!" said Lizzie sharply.
" Since I'm a Saiyan, will you give us an interview?" asked Animaga hopefully.
" Hell no!" said Piccolo. He turned around, but was then tackled by Animaga. He glared at her. " What in the hell?!"
" Nu-uh buddy! I'm getting my interview whether you like it or not!" She started taping his hands and ankles together. Piccolo then broke free from them. Then, Animaga put a metal collar around his neck. It made a nice clicky sound.
" WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS?!?!" yelled Piccolo. He glared at Animaga, who held the leash connected to the collar. " GET THIS OFF OF ME RIGHT NOW!!!"
Animaga just grinned evilly. " No. Since you will not cooperate, then your going to be my slave. And if you don't like it, to bad. If you resist, then we'll put some VERY unflattering pictures of you on the Internet, so all of Cyberspace can see!"
Piccolo snorted. " What kind of pictures of me could you have?" He suddenly thought for a moment. " Unless you…No, no, you couldn't have!"
Animaga took out a bundle of pictures. "Yes, Piccolo-sama, I DO have pictures of you at Vegeta-San's bachelor party." She flipped through them, and clicked her tongue. " Tsk, Tsk. What a naughty boy we were here Piccolo-sama! And a male stripper at that…"
Lizzie laughed. " Lemme see, lemme see!" Animaga handed them over and Lizzie practically fell over laughing. By this time, Piccolo had turned into a deep red (Or purple, what ever color Namekian's turn when they blush).
" It was one time only…"
" And that one time, you'll live to regret it if you don't follow and obey." Said Animaga, putting the pictures away. Piccolo sighed.
" OK brat, what do I need to do?"
" Well, You need to do our interview, that much is true." Animaga looked over at Lizzie.
" Should we make him do anything else?"
" I can't think of anything."
" Well, I can." She got off Piccolo and tugged on the leash. " Get up. For insurance, I'm making sure that you don't get away during the interview." She took out a key, and locked the collar in place. Then she stuck the key in her back pocket of her pants. " Just try and get it, and Lizzie'll take even more pictures."
" That's right." Lizzie held up a camera. She took a picture of Piccolo's angry face.
" Fine." He growled. " Lets' get it over with." He went and sat on a near by log.
Animaga took out a note pad, and a tape recorder. She gave the recorder to Lizzie and then wrote on the note pad: Interview Number One: Diamou Piccolo. They both sat down on either side of Piccolo. Lizzie held the microphone in front of Piccolo's mouth.
" OK! Well, our first question is, is Have you ever molested Gohan?"
" NO!"
" Do you ever plan on molesting Gohan?"
" Hell No!"
" Have you ever had any urgings to molest Gohan?"
" Dende Damn it, I never want to nor I ever will molest Gohan! What do you think I am, a pervert?!?!"
Animaga and Lizzie exchanged glances. " Do we HAVE to answer that?" asked Lizzie.
Piccolo growled at her.
" Guess not."
Animaga clears her throat. " Anyway, next question. Piccolo, have you ever thought of making little chibi you?"
" Why?"
" Like, in case you die one day, they'll contain all your knowledge and then you won't die and have no body remember you."
" He also won't die a virgin, apparently…" muttered Lizzie.
Piccolo glared at her, then turned to Animaga. " NO, I've never really wanted to make any children. Next question."
" Have you ever wondered about sleeping with a woman?"
" No."
" Is it because you prefer men?"
" Ye-I mean, no."
Animaga smirked. " I see. So, your gay, Piccolo-sama?"
Piccolo began to sweat. " N-no, why would you say that?"
" Oh, no reason." Said Lizzie casually. " Your just sweating buckets, and your turning a lighter shade of green, that's all."
" Well, I'm not gay, so there!" snapped Piccolo. He turned back to Animaga. " Get this over with. Next question."
" OK, Have you ever wanted to use Rogaine?"
" NO!"
" Why not?"
" Because I don't want hair."
" Why not?"
" Because I have my turban."
" So?"
" So?"
Lizzie took out a bottle of Rogaine form behind her. Piccolo didn't see her, his back was turned to her. Lizzie mouthed to Animaga, " I'm gonna put it on him. Keep him busy."
Animaga nodded. She looked at Piccolo. " But don't you think that having hair will keep your head warm?"
" I have my turban for that."
Lizzie unscrewed the cap, and was pouring it slowly on Piccolo's head. He didn't notice.
" But haven't you ever been curious?"
" About having hair?"
" Yea."
" No. Not really…"
Lizzie applied it all in a straight line on his head. She then sat back down and showed Animaga the back of the bottle. It read: NEW, PARTY DYED ROGAINE! FOR PARTYGOERS WHO NEED THEIR HAIR QUICK! Animaga contorted her face so that she wouldn't laugh.
Suddenly, Piccolo began to feel a tingling on top of his head. He shook off the feeling and looked at Animaga. " Are their anymore questions?"
Animaga smirked. " No, none at all." She looked up at Piccolo's head and saw some pick wisps of hair sprout out. She grinned. "We got all that we needed. We just need one more picture."
Piccolo grumbled. Lizzie got up, focused the camera and snapped a picture of Piccolo, who looked like he now had on a pink Mohawk. Then, they couldn't hold it in any longer. They burst out laughing. Piccolo stared at them, and put his hand up to scratch his head, where he was greeted by a fuzzy feeling. He felt around his head, and suddenly screamed.
" YOU DAMN BRATS! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!?!"
Animaga and Lizzie were rolling on the ground, laughing. Animaga looked up and saw that Piccolo was coming towards them. She jumped up, as did Lizzie, and they started running away, screaming. Piccolo ran after them, swearing at them. It took Animaga a few minutes to remember that she was holing his leash. Suddenly she stopped and Piccolo ran into her.
" Come on, Piccolo-Sama! It's a harmless prank! You knew that somebody would have put Rogaine on you sooner or later." Said Animaga.
Piccolo just glared at them both, and tried to stalk away, except he fell when Animaga tugged on his leash. " GET THE LEASH OFF ME! I DID YOUR DAMN INTERVIEW!"
Lizzie went over and examined his hair. " It's a great look for you, except maybe I should have gotten blue or something…Maybe that would have been your color…"
Piccolo shoved her off. " Get off of me! I swear, when I get out of this collar, you're the first to go."
" Well, if your going to threaten us, then we're definitely not letting you out." Said Lizzie.
Animaga took out a can of shaving cream and a Venus Razor. " Piccolo-sama, we'll be happy to take it off for you. Just hold still, ok?"
Piccolo grumbled, but he held still. Animaga handed the razor to Lizzie and winked. Lizzie grinned. They started.
" HEY! Easy! My head sensitive, you know!"
" Piccolo-sama, hold still! We almost got your antennae…"
" OUCH! You nicked me!"
" Oh, shut up you big baby! It's only a little scratch!"
" …Why doe my head feel all warm?"
" It's the shaving crème, Piccolo-sama."
" But should it be trailing down my neck?"
" OMIGOD! LIZZIE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU CUT HIM?!"
" YOU MEAN SHE DID IT MORE THEN ONCE?!"
" I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I SWEAR!"
Animaga quickly wiped Piccolo's head with a towel. " P-sama, We're done!"
Piccolo felt his head. He almost fainted. He had little scratch marks and a few bandages on his head. He looked like a cat had attacked him. He stood up all of a sudden, and glared evilly at Animaga. She whimpered. " GET ME OUT OF THIS LEASH NOW!"
" Uh, sure, P-sama…" Animaga felt in her back pocket. Her face fell. " Uh-oh…"
" What's wrong?" asked Lizzie.
" Um…I, uh, think I, um, misplaced the key…"
" YOU WHAT?!?!" screamed Piccolo.
" She lost the freakin key!" yelled Lizzie.
" Thanks, Lizzie…"
" What are friends for?"
" Um, getting each other killed, I guess, in this case."
" Huh?"
Animaga pointed to Piccolo. Lizzie looked at the howling mad Namekian. He was sitting , cross-legged on the ground, and he had a look of pouting on his face. He glared at both of them.
" Would ya stop glaring at us?" said Lizzie irritably.
" Not until you get me out of this thing!"
Animaga thought for a moment. She snapped her fingers. " I know! We can go over to Gohan's! He might be able to get it off!"
" Why not Bulma? Isn't she the smartest?"
" Yea, But Piccolo likes Gohan."
Piccolo looked shocked. " I DO NOT LIKE THAT WHINEY LITTLE BRAT!"
" Then why'd you save his life?" asked Animaga.
Piccolo looked away. " I didn't KNOW I was going to die…"
" Oh, common sense, P-sama. A big huge ki blast heading in your direction and you get in front of it, and you don't think that you'll die?! And I thought you were the smart one!"
" Come one! Bulma is WAY smarter then him." Said Lizzie.
" Well, She doesn't fight now, does she?"
" What does that have to do with it?"
" Everything. You never see her save the world, do you?"
" Her Inventions do." Lizzie thought for a minute. " Or do they?"
" Only the Dragon radar."
" What's that?"
" A radar that finds the Dragon Balls."
" Why do they need one of those?"
" So they can find the Dragon Balls."
" Why would they need to find those?"
" So they can wish everyone back."
" Oh, OK, I knew that."
By this time, Piccolo is staring at the two girls with a puzzled look on his face. " Who the hell are you, and how do you know who we are?"
Animaga looked over at him. " Omigosh! We forgot introduce ourselves! OK, well, I'm Animaga, and this is my friend/partner Lizzie!"
" You'd think you'd figure that out by now."
" But why are you here in the first place?"
" Well, for interviews, duh." Said Animaga.
" OK, Why are you a Saiyan?"
" Because I choose to be one."
" That makes no sense. "
" I'm creating this story, so I'm a Saiyan."
" Oh…Your like that B-chan person, and that Nega Gohan person!" He suddenly got up and started running away. But, he was snapped back by Animaga. " GET AWAY FROM ME! THIS IS WHY YOU DO THOSE THINGS TO ME! NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA PUKE ON MY CAPE!"
" Ewwwww…" said Lizzie, " Who pukes on your cape? Who would do that willingly?"
" I dunno, but Nega puked on me, and I don't want anyone else to ever again!" yelled Piccolo.
" OK, calm down P-sama."
" AND WHY DO YOU EEP CALLING ME P-SAMA?! NEGA CALLED ME THAT!!"
" I like calling you P-sama!" yelled Animaga.
" Well stop it!"
" HEY!" yelled Lizzie. " Can we just get to Gohan's house or where ever we're going and get that stupid collar off him, and then get the space pod, then leave?"
" Great idea." Said Piccolo. " LEAVE!"
" Um, Lizzie, we kinda gotta stay for awhile…"
" WHY?!"
" Because the ship needs to refuel."
Lizzie stomps her feet. " BUT THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS ARE ON TONIGHT! I NEED TO WATCH THEM! I MUST!!!"
Piccolo covered his ears. " Shut up, brat!"
" MAKE ME!"
Piccolo threw a ki blast at her. Lizzie's skin looks a bit charred. " That's it buddy, now your gonna get it…" Lizzie advanced upon him.
" Bring it on, Human!"
" Oh no you did not just! I know you did not just diss my race!"
" Well, I did!"
" Get ready for the beating of your lifetime, Green Bean…"
Animaga got between them both. " SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!"
Lizzie whimpered slightly. " He started it."
" Did not."
" Did so."
" Did not!"
" Did so!"
" SHUT UP ALREADY IT DOESN'T MATTER!" screamed Animaga. " lets just get to Gohan's house, OK?"
Lizzie whispered to Piccolo. " She just wants to see Gohan and kiss him."
" What, she a fan of his or something?" he whispered back.
" The biggest."
Animaga began floating in the air, dragging Piccolo along. Lizzie followed.
" Hey, while we're there, why don't we get Gohan's interview to? And Videl's and Pan's if their there!"
" Any excuse to be near Gohan…" muttered Lizzie. " Sure Ani, lets go.
" I don't think that Gohan will let you interview him. Nega totally ruined his life for awhile."
" Well, we're different." Said Animaga.
" That's what they all say…" muttered Piccolo.
And off they fly into the sunset, until the next victim, I mean, interview! Gohan! What horrors will we do next time?
By: Animaga and Lizzie! (Mostly Animaga)
It was a nice , peaceful day on the Planet Earth. Suddenly, a space pod with no landing capabilities what so ever, lands near a farmer who is raking up his mutated pink flamingo's crap. It lands next (or about a mile away, whatever) to the poor farmer, who couldn't speak good English at all.
" Good gee darn it! There landed a meteor in that there yard of mine!" he cried. Obviously, since I already told you it was NOT a meteor, but a space pod! So, the stupid farmer, (I mean, come on! METAL meteor?! STUPID! *Ahem*) drives up on his little 'ole pink truck to the 100 foot deep crater. Then, he takes out a shot gun. (Does this scene look familiar to anyone?) He approaches the "meteor" with extreme caution. Actually, he runs up there and starts yelling his head off about his property. " ALL RIGHTY! I'MA GONNA SHOOTS THAT DURN HEAD OF YOURS OFFA YOU'SE DURN SHOULDERS IFFA YOU'SE DON'TS GETS OFFA MY PROPERTY!" And he continues ranting and raving about the property until the "meteor" opens up. Out steps two extremely tall girls. One of them has spiky dark brown hair, eyes, and tail. She has on a tight spandex suit, with white gloves and boots. Her companion is a girl with almost black hair, deep brown eyes, and an Italian complexion. She is wearing jean shorts, and a vivid orange tank top. The girl with the tail looks at the girl with out one.
" Honestly Lizzie! Could you have at LEAST dressed for the occasion?!"
Lizzie picked at some lint on her shirt " WHAT occasion? We came to the DBZ world. Big deal. Your to obsessed Ani."
The tail on the girl puffed out and all the hairs on it stuck out. " It is a big deal! We are interviewing the stars of DBZ! We are here for a purpose! And for the last time, it's not Ani, it's Animaga! A-n-i-m-a-g-a! Get it right!"
" OK, whatever, lets just get this over with so that I can get back, the MTV Movie awards are on tonight." Said Lizzie.
By this time, the anonymous farmer was just about ready to blow some one's head off. Gosh darnit! Their not supposed to be on his property! " SINCE'S YOU'SE GIRLS IS HUMAN, I'MA GONNA GIVE YOU TA THE COUNTA 10 FER YOU'SE TA GET'S OFFA MY PROPERTY! 1…2…3…4…5…7…no, wait, um…1…2…5…dangit!"
Animaga looked up at the farmer, struggling to remember what he learned so long ago in pre-school (which he graduated from a week ago, by the way.). She nudges Lizzie. " Check it out. Farmer Brown came to spy on us."
Lizzie looked up, interested. " So, where are the Z-fighters? Is he a new recruit or something?"
Animaga slapped herself. " NO! He's the idiot Farmer that tried to kill Raditz when he first came to earth to look for Goku!"
Lizzie looked puzzled. So did " Farmer Brown". " Whose Radish?" they both asked together.
Animaga sighed loudly, then went over and started banging her head against the "meteor". She did this until it cracked on the impact of her head. Lizzie laughed at that.
" Smart, Ani. Dang, you got some hard head there."
" Don't remind me…" grumbled Animaga. She looked up again at the farmer. Then she flies up to him. Lizzie stares at her. " HEY! How'd you do that?!?!"
Animaga smiles at her. " Really simple. I just made a little wish and flew."
" Really? Lemme try!" Lizzie makes a wish and nothing happens. She tries again. Still, nothing. She looks up at Animaga, whose smirking. " Hey! It's not working!"
" Obviously, stupid. This is the DBZ world, not NeverNever land. Just suppress your ki."
Lizzie looked at herself. " What?"
Animaga sighed. " Concentrate on flying. Feel the air in your hair, something of the sort."
Lizzie looked at her. " You were thinking of the wind in your face and all the stuff?"
" No. Since I'm writing the story, I get to do what ever I want, and be what ever I want." Said Animaga happily.
" So, by the outfit, I take it your pretending to be a Saiyan?"
" No, I AM a Saiyan."
" Whatever. I'm helping you with the story! Let me fly!"
" OK." Lizzie is suddenly flying while Animaga landed on the ground.
" Hey! I feel kinda like Peter Pan!" Lizzie started swimming in the air. " This is fun!"
" Uh-huh." Said Animaga distractedly. She was fixing a scouter on the side of her face. When she had it in place, it started beeping. She turned her head to south, and smiled happily. " All right! I found one of them!"
" Which one?" Asked Lizzie.
" Piccolo-Sama I believe."
Lizzie snorted. " Figures. First DBZ guy we meet, and it's Piccolo."
" Who would you prefer? Goten?"
" Yes."
" Oh well, Piccolo is closer."
" How much closer?"
" A lot closer."
" Do you realize that we're getting no where with this conversation?"
" Yes I did."
" Then why are we still having it?"
" Beats me."
" Maybe we should stop."
" You first."
" No you."
" You."
" YOU."
" YOU!!!"
" YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
" I said, YOU!!!!!!!"
" And I said, YOU!!!!!!!!!"
" Wait, what were we talking about?"
" I don't know anymore."
" …"
" I feel kinda stupid now."
" So do I."
" Lets just go and find Piccolo."
" OK!"
Animaga looks down at the farmer. He is STILL trying to remember what comes after 5. She clicks her tongue. " Hey, Farmer Brown! It's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! Remember that!"
She flies off, Lizzie tailing her. " Did you really need to tell him that?"
Animaga looks back at her, puzzled. " Why wouldn't I?"
" Don't you think it would have been funny if he just went on through his life not knowing what came after 5?"
" I really see know humor in that."
Lizzie shook her head. " Your way to goodie-goodie…This shows you've been watching to much DBZ, you know, your starting to act like those good guys"
" I know."
" You don't care, do you?"
" Nope."
Lizzie shrugs. " Oh well. Your life, not mine."
" Uh-huh."
" Could we please stop having these types of conversations?"
" Hey, I'm choosing to drop the subject, you're the one that keeps talking about other stuff."
" Cause I don't want to be a bore like you are."
" I am not a bore!"
" Well, you're certainly not a leader. Much more of a follower."
" Hey, when did the conversation turn to followers and leaders?"
" Since I made it that way."
" Whatever. Just be quiet for awhile, OK?"
" No, I refuse."
" Fine, be stubborn."
" Fine, I will."
" Fine."
" FINE."
" FINE!!!"
" FINE!!!!!!"
" FINE!!!!!!!!!!!"
" FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
" JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!"
" WHY DON"T YOU?!"
" WHY DON"T WE BOTH UNTIL WE GET TO PICCOLO?!"
" FINE BY ME!"
" OK!"
Both Animaga and Lizzie both kept their mouths closed, but still throwing glares back and forth at each other.
Lizzie and Animaga landed outside of a forest. Lizzie was timid on going in. " Are you POSITIVE that Piccolo is here?"
" The scouter never lies." Said Animaga, pointing to her prized possession.
" It better not…" said Lizzie threateningly.
" Why so timid to go into the woods?" said Animaga mischievously. " Are you AFRAID?"
Lizzie squeaked. " NO! I am not afraid of some stupid forest!"
" Then go in there and find Piccolo for us. It shouldn't be hard, he's a big green Namekian." Said Animaga casually.
Lizzie looked horrified. " Why don't YOU go?! You're so eager to find him!" She paused for a moment. " And, by the way, what's a Namekian?"
Animaga looked at her for a moment then started banging her head against a near-by tree. Lizzie stared at her for a second, then started laughing. " Ani, you'll break the tree if you don't quit!"
" That's" Bang. " What" Bang. " I'm" Bang. "Trying" Bang. " To" Bang. "Do!!" Bang. Suddenly, there was a sharp crack, and the trunk of the tree split. Lizzie went hysterical. She was rolling on the ground, trying to catch her breathe and clutching her side. She finally looked up to Animaga and wiped the tears from her eyes.
" Are you quite through?" asked Animaga.
" No." Lizzie started laughing again. Animaga grew a little angry. She picked Lizzie up by the back of her shirt and threw her into the woods. She couldn't hear Lizzie's laughter anymore, so she must have stopped. She went about 30 feet away form the tree's and sat cross-legged on the ground. She waited for Lizzie to come back. She didn't have to wait long.
Suddenly, Lizzie came tearing out of the woods, screaming. " HE'S BEEN MURDERED! HE'S DEAD! SOME ONE KILLED PICCOLO! IT'S AWFUL! OMIGOSH! IT'S SO GROSS! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S DEAD!"
The color drained out of Animaga's face. She ran up to Lizzie, who was now jumping up and down in one spot, screaming her head off. She took her by the shoulders and shook her hard. " WHAT DO YOU MEAN PICCOLO IS DEAD?! DID YOU SEE HIS BODY?! SHOW ME WHERE YOU FOUND HIM!!"
Lizzie sniffed and then wordlessly walked back into he forest, Animaga following her. She stopped in a clearing and pointed to the ground. Animaga looked over and then started laughing. There was a green and pink arm lying lifeless on the ground." You baka! Piccolo's not dead just because he lost an arm! Namekian's can lose an arm then regenerate it back!"
" I didn't care if Piccolo died or not, that arm is disgusting! Get it away, get it away!" yelled Lizzie. Animaga shot a small ki blast at it.
" Yum, this would make a great Big Mac…" said Animaga.
Lizzie screamed. " ANI! THAT'S SO DISGUSTING! YOUR TOTALLY SICK!!" Animaga shrugged and the arms evaporated. She dusted off her hands and started walking on a dirt path.
" Come on, Lets go and get Piccolo, and this time, lets actually FIND him." Said Animaga.
They walked deeper and deeper into the forest on a dirt path that they just started following. Lizzie muttered " I keep thinking I'm gonna see a pokemon here or something…"
Animaga rolled her eyes. " Please! That's totally the wrong show! And what would a pokemon be doing in the DBZ w- AHHHHHHHHH!!!!" screamed Animaga. She jumped into Lizzie's arms and started screaming again. A little yellow Pikachu had ran across her path. " HOLY CRAP, THEY ARE IN THE DBZ WORLD!!!!"
" SEE?! SEE?! I TOLD YOU THEY'D BE HERE! BUT YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! NO, CAN'T LISTEN TO POOR LIZZIE!" yelled Lizzie in Animaga's ear.
" JUST START RUNNING!" screamed Animaga. " THOSE THINGS FREAK ME OUT!"
" OK." Lizzie promptly dropped Animaga on the ground and started running away. Animaga stared at her in shock for a few minutes, then started yelling. " GET BACK HERE! I MEANT RUN WITH ME IN YOUR ARMS!!!"
Suddenly, she was swarmed with Pikachu's! They all started saying their names, and some even tried to do their lightening attacks on her. Then, they broke into song. Animaga screeched and covered her ears, but she couldn't block out the annoying melody of the Pikachu's!
" Pika, Chu, Pika-a-a-chuuu! Pika, Chu, Pika-a-a-chuuu! Pika-Chuuuu-!!!!!" Animaga shot a huge ki blast at all the Pikachu's that were near her. Then she went on a Pikachu massacre!
" Take that! And that! And that! And this is for beating Bulbasaur! And this is for shocking Ash so many times! HAHAHAHA! DIE YOU LITTE RATS, DIE!!!!!"
This continued until all the Pikachu's were completely dead. Animaga stood over their little yellow bodies and just started laughing insanely. Then, Lizzie showed up. She looked around a moment, then stared at Animaga, who was still laughing insanely.
" Dang, girl…" said Lizzie. " You mowed them Pikachu's down good!"
" Oh yeah! I just saved the world! Uh-huh, uh-huh, I'm good, I'm good…" Animaga started doing a little dance. Lizzie stared at her.
" Um, Ani, I don't think you saved the world by just killing some Pikachu's…"
" So?"
" Never mind."
" Well, lets get going! We need that interview if we wanna make the deadline!" She started walking away on the path. Lizzie walked behind, making sure she stepped on all the little Pikachu bodies that she passed.
" Thank Gosh their dead." Said Lizzie.
Animaga and Lizzie made it to another clearing. Animaga screamed. " THERE HE IS!! PICCOLO- SAMA!! WE FOUND HIM!!" She pointed to a floating figure about 10 yards away. It was a wonder that Piccolo didn't hear her, what with hi acute hearing and all. But, he was sleeping, ( I know, you expected me to say meditating, but I didn't!), and he was having a rather pleasant dream, so his guard was being let down.
" Well what are we waiting for? Let's go get this interview over with." Said Lizzie She started running toward him, but Animaga tackled her. " GIRL, I DON'T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT!!"
" BAKA!! You don't go up to a Namekian, especially Piccolo, and then start interviewing him. He'll probably kill you!!" said Animaga seriously. She got off of Lizzie.
" You make it sound like he is an animal or something." Mumbled Lizzie, brushing herself off.
" He might be, we don't know much about his race." Animaga took out a beach bag from no where.
" Where'd ya get that?" asked Lizzie.
" Oh, it just appeared in my hand."
" Really?"
" No."
" Oh."
" I materialized it."
" You what?"
" I made it appear out of thin air."
" Can I do that?"
" I dunno can you?"
" I'll try"
Suddenly paper, an orange crayon, cheese , a bottle of water and paper appeared in Lizzie's hand. She squeals happily then lies on the ground and starts drawing.
Animaga looks down at her." You done?"
" Uh-huh." Lizzie gets up and shows Animaga her picture, shoving it right in her face. It's a picture of an orange car running over an orange Piccolo. Animaga takes her drawing and angrily tears it up. "PICCOLO IS NOT ORANGE!! HOW DARE YOU INSULT HIM!!"
" I dare"
" Shut up."
" You know, I made copies."
" You didn't!"
" I did."
" Oh, well. Piccolo's the one that's gotta be afraid, not me."
" You're the obsessed one!"
" And that's supposed to mean anything?"
" No."
" OK then."
There was a silence for a few moments.
" So," said Lizzie. " How do we interview Piccolo?"
Animaga grinned evilly. " We trap him."
" How?"
Animaga took out her beach bag again. She took out a huge box that could have never fit in there, a pole and a rope. " This'll capture our Namekian."
Lizzie looked at it blankly, until realization dawned on her face. " Oh…I get it. The 'ole Box Propped on a Stick trick."
Animaga nodded. She propped the box on the pole and then tied the rope to the stick. (Well, you people know how the trick goes, so forget about the details.) Lizzie followed her through the procedure, and they both hid behind a bush after that. Lizzie looked over the bush to the trap.
" Kinda obvious, don't you think, Ani?"
" Maybe Piccolo won't notice, he is Namekian after all."
" You make it seem like his race is stupid or something."
" Well, Look at Goku, then look at Vegeta."
Lizzie thought. " Good point."
Animaga looked over at their trap then she clapped a hand on her forehead and swore.
" I forgot bait!"
" Why do we need bait?"
" Cause all good traps have bait."
" Says who?"
" Says Bugs Bunny." Animaga thought for a moment, then looked over at Lizzie.
" Lizzie, give me your cheese."
" No."
" Why not?"
" Cause I ate it."
" OK, well, gimme the water, Namekian's don't eat anyway."
" I had to wash that cheese down with something."
" You ate them both?!"
" I drank the water."
Animaga growled. " LIZZIE!!!"
Lizzie growled back. " ANI!!!"
Animaga sat on the ground for a moment and thought. " I can't materialize either, if Piccolo put up a fight, then I'll need my strength." She rubbed her chin in thought.
Lizzie thought to. (something you don't see very often. Kidding Liz! ^_^) Her mind trailed to the picture that she drew, but never really copied cause she was just making Animaga more mad. Then she had an idea. She took out her orange crayon.
" Oh, no." groaned Animaga. " Not your stupid crayon again."
" F.Y.I, It's not any more stupid then your scouter, and I was thinking, since we can do just about anything in the DBZ world, how about I just use my crayon to draw something up? You know, like in that book with the kid and his funky purple chalk?"
Animaga jumped up and hugged Lizzie. " Your brilliant!…And don't tell anyone I ever said that, or you'll live to regret it."
Lizzie shoved Animaga off. " Don't worry, I don't think I want people to know that you hugged me, ewww!"
Animaga grinned. " So, get coloring! What are you going to draw? A pail of water? Some leaves? Food in general?"
" Something better." Lizzie crept over to where Piccolo was sleeping. Then she began to draw the car that was in her picture, right in front of Piccolo. When she was done, she got into the drivers seat. Then she gunned the engine. She yelled out the window, " GET READY ANI! HERE'S YOUR WAKE UP CALL, PICCOLO!" She gunned the engine louder. Animaga gripped the rope. Piccolo's eyes snapped open and he stared at the orange car in front of him. Lizzie geared the car and started driving into Piccolo! He was frozen in place, and Lizzie's car hit him. He was flung onto the front window and he grabbed hold for dear life!
Then, Lizzie hit the brakes so suddenly, Piccolo was thrown into the box, and Animaga then snapped the rope so the stick fell. The box landed neatly on Piccolo shocked face. Animaga started cheering. " All right! We did it! Now we can get that interview!
Lizzie hopped out of the drivers seat. " We sure did. Now what?"
" We gotta punch air holes in the top so he can breathe." Said Animaga. She toke out a pencil and started jabbing at the top with it. Soon there we lots of little holes on the top. Lizzie looked at the box.
" Since he's, like, a powerful guy from DBZ, can't he, like, get out by blasting himself out?" asked Lizzie.
Animaga looked at the box. " I guess he could." She shrugged. " If he does, he won't get very far."
Soon as she said that, the box was blown up, and out stepped Piccolo from the debris or cardboard. He quickly stepped over to Lizzie, grabbed her by the throat and slammed her up against a tree. Lizzie made a few gurgling remarks. Animaga could only make out, " Help…me…"
Piccolo growled at her, baring his fangs. " Mind telling me why you just rammed me with a car a few minutes ago and trapped me in a fucking box?!" he hissed at her.
Lizzie choked out the words, " For…an…inter…view…"
Piccolo stared at her coldly. " I should kill you for putting me through that, you realize."
Animaga, who had been looking on in shock that her plan of Box Propped on a Stick didn't work, suddenly snapped out. She went over and started tugging on Piccolo's arm. " Piccolo-sama, Don't kill my friend! We just wanted an interview!"
Piccolo whirled on her. " WHY SHOULD I GIVE YOU AN INTERVIEW?!" he all but screamed at her. " YOU RAMMED WE WITH A FUCKING CAR, TRAPPED ME IN A BOX, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU ARE!! JUST GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULD EVEN CONSIDER GIVING YOU AN INTERVIEW!!"
Lizzie suddenly whipped out a stun gun and shocked Piccolo's arm till her let go. She fell to the ground then floated over to Animaga. " Cause we want to get back to our own time as quickly as possible, and Ani here just loves you to death!"
" Ani?" asked Piccolo. He looked over at the Saiyan female. He spied her tail. " Are you a Saiyan?"
" Well, Duh! She has a tail!" said Lizzie sharply.
" Since I'm a Saiyan, will you give us an interview?" asked Animaga hopefully.
" Hell no!" said Piccolo. He turned around, but was then tackled by Animaga. He glared at her. " What in the hell?!"
" Nu-uh buddy! I'm getting my interview whether you like it or not!" She started taping his hands and ankles together. Piccolo then broke free from them. Then, Animaga put a metal collar around his neck. It made a nice clicky sound.
" WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS?!?!" yelled Piccolo. He glared at Animaga, who held the leash connected to the collar. " GET THIS OFF OF ME RIGHT NOW!!!"
Animaga just grinned evilly. " No. Since you will not cooperate, then your going to be my slave. And if you don't like it, to bad. If you resist, then we'll put some VERY unflattering pictures of you on the Internet, so all of Cyberspace can see!"
Piccolo snorted. " What kind of pictures of me could you have?" He suddenly thought for a moment. " Unless you…No, no, you couldn't have!"
Animaga took out a bundle of pictures. "Yes, Piccolo-sama, I DO have pictures of you at Vegeta-San's bachelor party." She flipped through them, and clicked her tongue. " Tsk, Tsk. What a naughty boy we were here Piccolo-sama! And a male stripper at that…"
Lizzie laughed. " Lemme see, lemme see!" Animaga handed them over and Lizzie practically fell over laughing. By this time, Piccolo had turned into a deep red (Or purple, what ever color Namekian's turn when they blush).
" It was one time only…"
" And that one time, you'll live to regret it if you don't follow and obey." Said Animaga, putting the pictures away. Piccolo sighed.
" OK brat, what do I need to do?"
" Well, You need to do our interview, that much is true." Animaga looked over at Lizzie.
" Should we make him do anything else?"
" I can't think of anything."
" Well, I can." She got off Piccolo and tugged on the leash. " Get up. For insurance, I'm making sure that you don't get away during the interview." She took out a key, and locked the collar in place. Then she stuck the key in her back pocket of her pants. " Just try and get it, and Lizzie'll take even more pictures."
" That's right." Lizzie held up a camera. She took a picture of Piccolo's angry face.
" Fine." He growled. " Lets' get it over with." He went and sat on a near by log.
Animaga took out a note pad, and a tape recorder. She gave the recorder to Lizzie and then wrote on the note pad: Interview Number One: Diamou Piccolo. They both sat down on either side of Piccolo. Lizzie held the microphone in front of Piccolo's mouth.
" OK! Well, our first question is, is Have you ever molested Gohan?"
" NO!"
" Do you ever plan on molesting Gohan?"
" Hell No!"
" Have you ever had any urgings to molest Gohan?"
" Dende Damn it, I never want to nor I ever will molest Gohan! What do you think I am, a pervert?!?!"
Animaga and Lizzie exchanged glances. " Do we HAVE to answer that?" asked Lizzie.
Piccolo growled at her.
" Guess not."
Animaga clears her throat. " Anyway, next question. Piccolo, have you ever thought of making little chibi you?"
" Why?"
" Like, in case you die one day, they'll contain all your knowledge and then you won't die and have no body remember you."
" He also won't die a virgin, apparently…" muttered Lizzie.
Piccolo glared at her, then turned to Animaga. " NO, I've never really wanted to make any children. Next question."
" Have you ever wondered about sleeping with a woman?"
" No."
" Is it because you prefer men?"
" Ye-I mean, no."
Animaga smirked. " I see. So, your gay, Piccolo-sama?"
Piccolo began to sweat. " N-no, why would you say that?"
" Oh, no reason." Said Lizzie casually. " Your just sweating buckets, and your turning a lighter shade of green, that's all."
" Well, I'm not gay, so there!" snapped Piccolo. He turned back to Animaga. " Get this over with. Next question."
" OK, Have you ever wanted to use Rogaine?"
" NO!"
" Why not?"
" Because I don't want hair."
" Why not?"
" Because I have my turban."
" So?"
" So?"
Lizzie took out a bottle of Rogaine form behind her. Piccolo didn't see her, his back was turned to her. Lizzie mouthed to Animaga, " I'm gonna put it on him. Keep him busy."
Animaga nodded. She looked at Piccolo. " But don't you think that having hair will keep your head warm?"
" I have my turban for that."
Lizzie unscrewed the cap, and was pouring it slowly on Piccolo's head. He didn't notice.
" But haven't you ever been curious?"
" About having hair?"
" Yea."
" No. Not really…"
Lizzie applied it all in a straight line on his head. She then sat back down and showed Animaga the back of the bottle. It read: NEW, PARTY DYED ROGAINE! FOR PARTYGOERS WHO NEED THEIR HAIR QUICK! Animaga contorted her face so that she wouldn't laugh.
Suddenly, Piccolo began to feel a tingling on top of his head. He shook off the feeling and looked at Animaga. " Are their anymore questions?"
Animaga smirked. " No, none at all." She looked up at Piccolo's head and saw some pick wisps of hair sprout out. She grinned. "We got all that we needed. We just need one more picture."
Piccolo grumbled. Lizzie got up, focused the camera and snapped a picture of Piccolo, who looked like he now had on a pink Mohawk. Then, they couldn't hold it in any longer. They burst out laughing. Piccolo stared at them, and put his hand up to scratch his head, where he was greeted by a fuzzy feeling. He felt around his head, and suddenly screamed.
" YOU DAMN BRATS! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!?!"
Animaga and Lizzie were rolling on the ground, laughing. Animaga looked up and saw that Piccolo was coming towards them. She jumped up, as did Lizzie, and they started running away, screaming. Piccolo ran after them, swearing at them. It took Animaga a few minutes to remember that she was holing his leash. Suddenly she stopped and Piccolo ran into her.
" Come on, Piccolo-Sama! It's a harmless prank! You knew that somebody would have put Rogaine on you sooner or later." Said Animaga.
Piccolo just glared at them both, and tried to stalk away, except he fell when Animaga tugged on his leash. " GET THE LEASH OFF ME! I DID YOUR DAMN INTERVIEW!"
Lizzie went over and examined his hair. " It's a great look for you, except maybe I should have gotten blue or something…Maybe that would have been your color…"
Piccolo shoved her off. " Get off of me! I swear, when I get out of this collar, you're the first to go."
" Well, if your going to threaten us, then we're definitely not letting you out." Said Lizzie.
Animaga took out a can of shaving cream and a Venus Razor. " Piccolo-sama, we'll be happy to take it off for you. Just hold still, ok?"
Piccolo grumbled, but he held still. Animaga handed the razor to Lizzie and winked. Lizzie grinned. They started.
" HEY! Easy! My head sensitive, you know!"
" Piccolo-sama, hold still! We almost got your antennae…"
" OUCH! You nicked me!"
" Oh, shut up you big baby! It's only a little scratch!"
" …Why doe my head feel all warm?"
" It's the shaving crème, Piccolo-sama."
" But should it be trailing down my neck?"
" OMIGOD! LIZZIE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU CUT HIM?!"
" YOU MEAN SHE DID IT MORE THEN ONCE?!"
" I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I SWEAR!"
Animaga quickly wiped Piccolo's head with a towel. " P-sama, We're done!"
Piccolo felt his head. He almost fainted. He had little scratch marks and a few bandages on his head. He looked like a cat had attacked him. He stood up all of a sudden, and glared evilly at Animaga. She whimpered. " GET ME OUT OF THIS LEASH NOW!"
" Uh, sure, P-sama…" Animaga felt in her back pocket. Her face fell. " Uh-oh…"
" What's wrong?" asked Lizzie.
" Um…I, uh, think I, um, misplaced the key…"
" YOU WHAT?!?!" screamed Piccolo.
" She lost the freakin key!" yelled Lizzie.
" Thanks, Lizzie…"
" What are friends for?"
" Um, getting each other killed, I guess, in this case."
" Huh?"
Animaga pointed to Piccolo. Lizzie looked at the howling mad Namekian. He was sitting , cross-legged on the ground, and he had a look of pouting on his face. He glared at both of them.
" Would ya stop glaring at us?" said Lizzie irritably.
" Not until you get me out of this thing!"
Animaga thought for a moment. She snapped her fingers. " I know! We can go over to Gohan's! He might be able to get it off!"
" Why not Bulma? Isn't she the smartest?"
" Yea, But Piccolo likes Gohan."
Piccolo looked shocked. " I DO NOT LIKE THAT WHINEY LITTLE BRAT!"
" Then why'd you save his life?" asked Animaga.
Piccolo looked away. " I didn't KNOW I was going to die…"
" Oh, common sense, P-sama. A big huge ki blast heading in your direction and you get in front of it, and you don't think that you'll die?! And I thought you were the smart one!"
" Come one! Bulma is WAY smarter then him." Said Lizzie.
" Well, She doesn't fight now, does she?"
" What does that have to do with it?"
" Everything. You never see her save the world, do you?"
" Her Inventions do." Lizzie thought for a minute. " Or do they?"
" Only the Dragon radar."
" What's that?"
" A radar that finds the Dragon Balls."
" Why do they need one of those?"
" So they can find the Dragon Balls."
" Why would they need to find those?"
" So they can wish everyone back."
" Oh, OK, I knew that."
By this time, Piccolo is staring at the two girls with a puzzled look on his face. " Who the hell are you, and how do you know who we are?"
Animaga looked over at him. " Omigosh! We forgot introduce ourselves! OK, well, I'm Animaga, and this is my friend/partner Lizzie!"
" You'd think you'd figure that out by now."
" But why are you here in the first place?"
" Well, for interviews, duh." Said Animaga.
" OK, Why are you a Saiyan?"
" Because I choose to be one."
" That makes no sense. "
" I'm creating this story, so I'm a Saiyan."
" Oh…Your like that B-chan person, and that Nega Gohan person!" He suddenly got up and started running away. But, he was snapped back by Animaga. " GET AWAY FROM ME! THIS IS WHY YOU DO THOSE THINGS TO ME! NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA PUKE ON MY CAPE!"
" Ewwwww…" said Lizzie, " Who pukes on your cape? Who would do that willingly?"
" I dunno, but Nega puked on me, and I don't want anyone else to ever again!" yelled Piccolo.
" OK, calm down P-sama."
" AND WHY DO YOU EEP CALLING ME P-SAMA?! NEGA CALLED ME THAT!!"
" I like calling you P-sama!" yelled Animaga.
" Well stop it!"
" HEY!" yelled Lizzie. " Can we just get to Gohan's house or where ever we're going and get that stupid collar off him, and then get the space pod, then leave?"
" Great idea." Said Piccolo. " LEAVE!"
" Um, Lizzie, we kinda gotta stay for awhile…"
" WHY?!"
" Because the ship needs to refuel."
Lizzie stomps her feet. " BUT THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS ARE ON TONIGHT! I NEED TO WATCH THEM! I MUST!!!"
Piccolo covered his ears. " Shut up, brat!"
" MAKE ME!"
Piccolo threw a ki blast at her. Lizzie's skin looks a bit charred. " That's it buddy, now your gonna get it…" Lizzie advanced upon him.
" Bring it on, Human!"
" Oh no you did not just! I know you did not just diss my race!"
" Well, I did!"
" Get ready for the beating of your lifetime, Green Bean…"
Animaga got between them both. " SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!"
Lizzie whimpered slightly. " He started it."
" Did not."
" Did so."
" Did not!"
" Did so!"
" SHUT UP ALREADY IT DOESN'T MATTER!" screamed Animaga. " lets just get to Gohan's house, OK?"
Lizzie whispered to Piccolo. " She just wants to see Gohan and kiss him."
" What, she a fan of his or something?" he whispered back.
" The biggest."
Animaga began floating in the air, dragging Piccolo along. Lizzie followed.
" Hey, while we're there, why don't we get Gohan's interview to? And Videl's and Pan's if their there!"
" Any excuse to be near Gohan…" muttered Lizzie. " Sure Ani, lets go.
" I don't think that Gohan will let you interview him. Nega totally ruined his life for awhile."
" Well, we're different." Said Animaga.
" That's what they all say…" muttered Piccolo.
And off they fly into the sunset, until the next victim, I mean, interview! Gohan! What horrors will we do next time?