Love lost and found
By Silver Dolphin
"Owww." Squall squeezed his eyes shut tighter, trying to ignore the painful stabs of sunlight hitting his closed eyelids. Usually he would have simply have used his pillow to block his face, but he was having a pounding headache and didn't feel like moving much.
Finally, though, the sun won in the end, and he threw back the covers with a long string of curses issuing from his mouth. That was when he was aware of someone lying in the bed next to him.
The person moaned and sat up, using one slender hand to shove back the blonde tangles from her face. Her hazy cerulean eyes focused on him.
"Where on earth did you pick up all those words?" the demure SeeD instructor asked mildly, as she reached for her hairbrush.
"What," Squall grated harshly, "are you doing in my room?"
Quistis blinked, and then an amused smile stretched the corners of her lips. "Your room?" she asked.
"Yes, my room…" his voice drifted off as he took in his surroundings. His headache worsened considerably.
Gods. She wasn't in his room. He was in hers.
"Rinoa's coming to Garden today. She'll kill me if she finds out."
"Why? It's not as if we did anything."
"Didn't we?"
"No. Don't you remember?"
"Ever had a migraine so bad you can't even remember your own name?" he asked snappily.
"No, can't say I have. I wasn't the one who drank five bottles of alcohol last night."
"Five bottles?" Squall asked incredulously. "It was more like two…"
"Five." Quistis's voice was adamant. "They were those huge ones, too."
Squall groaned and fell back onto the pillow. "My head's killing me."
Quistis stood up and went to the cabinet in the corner. At least she was decently dressed in a sleeveless white top and white long pants. She extracted a transparent bottle of pills form the cabinet and tossed it to him.
"Here. Painkillers."
"What do you need them for?"
"What do you think? With you and Seifer as my pupils, I ate at least three every week."
He squinted as her. "You're kidding, aren't you?"
She smiled. "Yeah. Still, I do have headaches once in a while."
Squall took four of the pills and swallowed them dry. They were bitter, but at least they were powerful. The throbbing in his head was dulling.
"How's Seifer doing?"
"He'll be ready for his SeeD exam soon. I think he's finally going to make it."
"After Ultemicia…his head really cleared up. He's ready to be SeeD now."
"Yeah." The phone on Quistis's desk rang, and without thinking Squall reached for it. Quistis tried to stop him, but it was too late.
"Yes?" He growled crabbily.
"Quistis? You having a sore throat?" Over the speakerphone, the voice carried a startled note.
"What? Oh…" At Squall's flustered expression, Quistis doubled over, laughing helplessly.
"Y-yes?" she tried to control her laughter. Behind her, Squall was muttering darkly under his breath.
It was Xu. "Cid says you can have a day off today. We've got a new Instructor, and he wants to try this youngster out. On your students."
"Great! Thanks." She replaced the receiver cheerfully. "This is really rare. A day off!"
"Congratulations." Squall said flatly. "Now, will you explain why I was sleeping in your bed last night?"
"Remember the farewell party for Selphie and Irvine last night?" The pair was headed for Galbadia Garden. Irvine because he had duties to see to, and Selphie because she had wanted to stay with him.
"Oh, yeah. The one you dragged me to."
"You need to relax before you lose everything up there." She poked at his temple.
"And?"
"In short, we were playing a drinking game, I've Never. The one where they go, 'I've never…' and you drink if you did what they've never did."
"Impossible. I never drink."
"You want to listen to the story, or you want to argue with facts?" she demanded.
"Okay, continue."
"So, you, Zell and Irvine knocked out after drinking too much." She shrugged. "I had to drag you here."
"Why not my own room?"
"Do you know how heavy you are?" Quistis's eyes flicked over his body, causing him to blush slightly. "I had a hard enough time getting you here as it is."
Squall eyed her suspiciously. "How come you didn't get drunk?"
"Because I've never done all those crazy things you have."
"Oh. That's it?"
"Yes. You were expecting more?"
"That's not the way it happens in stories. Usually the love-deprived woman takes liberties to show the man of her dreams how much she wants him."
"And the man falls for her, so that they live happily ever after?"
"Something like that."
"I have more self control than all those airheads. And I would never betray Rinny." She gave him a strange look. "Am I all that obvious that I still love you?"
He thought for a moment, then decided to tell her the truth. "Yeah."
She sighed. A melancholy look superimposed itself on her beautiful features for a fleeting moment, then the expression was gone. "Sometimes Cupid isn't all that accurate in whom he hits." She frowned quizzically at him. "Since when have you been reading romance novels, anyway?"
"Rinoa does. She tells me the stories. I think she's hinting me on how she wants me to behave."
Quistis laughed weakly. "Good luck to her."
"Quistis?"
"Yes?"
"You're wrong, you know. I do love you."
She smiled tightly, a small pinch of hurt behind her eyes. "I know. But you love Rinoa more. That's what really makes it unbearable."
In a sudden movement, he was there beside her, holding her lightly in his arms. As she leaned against him, all those feelings, held firmly in a chain deep within her, broke loose.
Oh, Hyne, she loved him so much. Why…why did Cupid insist on having her love a man who could never return her feelings, no matter how much he loved her?
Because he was in love with Rinoa, every shred of emotion he felt for her was always overridden by the stronger feelings he had for Rinoa. It was destiny, really, for those two to be together. There was no room in that love relationship for her.
Besides, Rinoa was her best friend, and she wanted her to be happy. Which was why she could never tell Rinny about this conversation.
"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Just take care of Rinny." she gave him a shadowy smile.
"Know that I do love you, all right?" his voice was uncharacteristically tender. It would have been so much easier if he didn't love her at all…
"Yeah. I know." She allowed him to kiss her gently on the lips one last time, before he headed to the door.
"I never thanked you for helping me last night."
"It's okay. That's what friends are for."
"Thank you…Quisty." And then he was gone.
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky…
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life…
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there you'll be…
Despite her feelings on how things had turned out was 'all for the best', a lone tear slid, unbidden, down her cheek.
Half an hour after a morning shower Quistis was sitting in the library, pen flying over the assignments her students had handed up to her. She was getting more and more irritated with every answer she was correcting.
Why do students even bother handing up assignments if all they've written down is rubbish? She pondered on that question for a while, before deciding that they figured this way, the instructor couldn't accuse them of being lazy. Yeah, right.
"So this is where our lovely instructor has been hiding all morning." The voice startled her, and the pen flew out of her grasp and hit the floor with a soft click.
"Why aren't you in class, Seifer?" she demanded, turning around to give him her best Instructor's Look. The one that said, 'You'd better watch your mouth, or it's detention for you'.
"It's my free period now. I wanted to search for the latest copy of Timber Maniacs." To her surprise he picked up the pen for her and placed it on the table.
"Thanks." She returned to her assignments, but he didn't go away. Instead he pulled out a chair and sat opposite her.
"Now what?" she asked in exasperation.
"How'd I do on that piece of homework?"
Quistis rifled through the stack. "Not too bad. A distinction."
He smiled. Not a smirk. Wow. "I'm going to be SeeD this time, aren't I?"
She smiled back at him. "Yes. Finally."
A small silence fell between them. When she lifted her head again, he was still watching her.
"Yes?" It was really unnerving, the way his dark green eyes penetrated her. As if he was trying to read her thoughts.
"I'm your favorite student now, right?" he asked.
Her look softened. "Yes, Seifer. Now that Squall has graduated…"
He sighed. "Hard to believe that he and I are best friends now. After all we've been through, I'd have thought we'd be hating each other all the more."
"The future is unpredictable."
"I used to hate him because he had all that I never had. He was a better gunblade master than I was, he had your affection, and later, Rinoa's."
"My affection?" What was that all about?
"I wanted to be your favorite. Even after I'd managed to beat him, he was still your number one. And he became SeeD. I understand now, though."
"Listen, Seifer…" she shuffled her papers together and capped her pen. "How about a walk with me? We can talk about everything."
"Sure."
"Can't believe Garden took me back even after all that I'd done…" Seifer said, half to himself. He looked at Quistis. "You did it, didn't you?"
"Yeah. You had all the potential to be an outstanding SeeD."
"Oh, really?" he smirked at her. "Or was it because you couldn't stand having failed as a teacher?"
She felt a momentary flash of anger at him, and then it was gone. "Well…maybe. But you didn't have to make it sound like that, did you?"
"It's the plain truth."
Quistis stuck out her tongue at him, much to his surprise. "Be nice."
That gesture had made him realize she was no older than him, even though she was his instructor. That made some of the tension melt away. She was only his age, after all.
"Instructor - "
"Quistis," she corrected. "We're not in class now, so Quistis is fine with me."
"Quistis," he amended. "Life sure takes us on twisted paths, doesn't it?"
"Like?"
"Like how Squall and I became best friends. Like how I fell in love with you."
"What?"
"I love you," he repeated, feeling the unfamiliar words roll off his tongue.
"Oh, Seifer, you've got to be kidding…" there was a panicked look in her eyes.
"The smiles you gave to Squall…they were never for me. I wanted them…I wanted you so bad…" his eyes bored into hers. "Now that Squall is taken…think you can give me what I want?"
She stared at him, her mind reeling from all that he had just said. And what he had just asked from her.
Did she love him? She really didn't know. All her feelings had been centered on Squall for as long as she could remember.
"Well – I – that is…" she stammered.
"Could I convince you?" there was a sultry tone to his voice, and the look in those emerald eyes was dark and inviting. In spite of herself she felt her own blood ignite.
"Try," she replied, a challenging note in her voice. Maybe…maybe she could love him…at the way her body was reacting, maybe she did love him. Just that she never knew it before…
He advanced slowly, like a big cat stalking his prey, and she backed away apprehensively, until she felt her back hit a tree.
Trapped.
Seifer looked down into those uncertain azure eyes. "I won't hurt you." His hand cupped her chin gently, before he bent his head and began to kiss her.
Quistis was still as marble under his touch, and he realized that no one had ever kissed her the way he was doing so now. Kisses of lust, a carnal flame of passion tempered with sweet tenderness.
"Kiss me back," he whispered, and a thrill surged through him as her mouth began to answer to his.
Quistis's senses were spinning as she felt Seifer's kisses all the way down in her stomach. She was s stranger to this feeling, but it felt good. It felt right. Much more right than what she had experienced with Squall…
The future is unpredictable. Sure, she knew that. What she had never expected was that her knight, whom she'd always envisioned to be Squall, was instead the handsome, arrogant problem student who had nearly driven her crazy since the day he'd first set foot into her classroom.
Feeling more than a little dizzy, she slipped her arms around Seifer's neck for support. He pressed her back against the tree, one hand on her shoulder, as his mouth consumed hers with brutal thoroughness.
The couple stopped for air, and panting slightly, Seifer gently touched his forehead to hers. "Was that sufficient?" he asked. His voice was low and sexy and it sent fingers of excitement trailing up her spine.
"Yes." Maybe…maybe this was the way to forget about Squall. This was the way to move on. Not to cling to hopeless fantasies, but to open up to other things in her life.
Seifer smirked at her, and then reached up to pluck a handful of flowers from the leafy branches ahead. "For you, because I love you." He sprinkled them over her head.
The scent of cherry blossoms filled the air as they came tumbling down around her. He picked one up from her head and tucked it in her ear.
"I've got classes to go to now, I'll see you tonight in your quarters, then?"
"Eight. Don't be late." She reached up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
"I won't." She released him from her grip, and he walked away.
Quistis remained under the tree with her eyes closed, and the wind rained more of the cherry blossoms down onto her.
Quistis gave an angry sigh as she sat on the bed, crossing her arms. Seifer was coming close to being an hour late.
Where in Hyne's name was he? And why did she want him, so urgently?
She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes, putting her hands behind her head. All right. She admitted to herself what she'd been trying to deny all afternoon. She was in love with Seifer Almasy. The ready way she had answered to his kisses…it had been proof that she wanted him. He loved her…he would help her leave Squall behind.
The door opened softly, but she didn't get up. She didn't even open her eyes as she felt his shadow falling over her.
"I know you're there, Seifer. You're late."
"I know." His voice was irritable. "There's a new mission coming up, and Cid decided to let me have it as an exam."
"So soon?"
"Yeah." He sat down next to her. "And you know how damned bloody long-winded Cid can get."
"Be nice."
"Who cares?" He held her hands down, above her head, while his mouth trailed butterfly kisses the inside of her arm. Quistis moaned softly, and she opened her eyes – eyes that were smoldering with turquoise fire.
"Show me, Seifer…show me you love me." There was a feral quality to her voice that he had never heard before. Who would have imagined that Quistis Trepe, always so strict and correct in class, could be such a wildcat in the bedroom?
"Yes, instructor."
"You've got it wrong there. You're the instructor tonight."
Growling deep in his throat, Seifer hastily pulled their clothes out of his way with a ruthless hand, while his lips devoured her neck, working their way down…
The shrill ringing of the telephone cut through their explorations.
"Damn!" Seifer snarled. "Who the fucking hell?"
Quistis pressed a finger to his lips, and then hit the speakerphone button. "Quistis Trepe."
"Hey, Quistis." It was Squall's voice. Then, at Seifer's frustrated growl, "Am I disturbing you?"
"As a matter of fact, yes ."
"Oh, well, sorry. I just wanted to tell you that Cid wants to see us tomorrow morning, at seven-thirty on the dot."
"All right. Thanks." She struggled to control her ragged breathing as Seifer nuzzled her neck.
"Good night."
"Oh, I won't be sleeping just yet." She smiled and kissed Seifer's mouth.
"No? What are you doing at this time of night?" Hearing some of the noises in the background, Squall was beginning to get very curious.
"None of your business." It was Seifer this time.
"Seifer. Never mind, I think I know…just treat her right, okay?" With that, he put down the phone.
Seifer lifted his weight off Quistis and with a sharp yank, pulled the telephone cord out off its socket. Now, till morning at least, it would be safe for them to share Quistis's dorm bed.
Pulling her into his arms, he breathed a few more of the endearments he had always wanted to say to her.
"Love you, Quistis."
- owari-
Author's note: My first Queifer!!! pleeeeeeeeeeease, please be nice and review it, ok?
oh, yeah, as a footnote, chapters 2 and 3 to my Quall fic A Repeat of History are up!