Quistis turned around at the sound of the elevator. She saw Squall come into view and sighed. He looked horrible, his hair was even more mussed than usual and he had circles under his eyes. He looked as if he hadn't slept well last night.
"Good morning Commander!" Xu said cheerfully. Squall turned his gaze to her and frowned.
"…Don't call me that," he said. It didn't sound like a request.
"Oh, well Quistis and I thought you should have a title, and that's what we came up with."
"Xu and I took the liberty of assigning duties, if you don't like it then you can change it, but Xu is in charge of Garden's supplies, I'm in charge of helping Dr. Kadowaki with the students, and you can take care of all the battle plans and such. Is that okay?" Quistis informed him. Squall shrugged and looked at the third person in the room, he was at the pilot's controls. "Oh, Nida is going to be Garden's pilot."
"Where do you want to go first, sir?" Nida asked, saluting. Squall thought for a second.
"…Trabia Garden," he finally said. Quistis looked surprised.
"What? It was destroyed! We need to find the sorceress, not look through the rubble of some destroyed Garden!" she exclaimed. Squall's eyes narrowed.
"There might be survivors, and it's as good a place as any to start looking for the sorceress," he snapped. "Set a course, and let me know when we get there," Squall told Nida, and then left the bridge.
***
The six teenagers stared in shock at the wreckage before them that was once Trabia Garden. Doctor Kadowaki and her medical team had entered the demolished Garden moments after Balamb Garden had landed. Selphie gazed at the wreckage for a moment and then ran down the hill and entered the Garden. It took everyone else a moment to recover and follow her.
"She must be in shock…" Irvine said, watching Selphie run from person to person, trying to help everyone at once.
"Maybe…" Rinoa answered, walking after her. The other four stood there, waiting as Rinoa talked to Selphie, who was taking everything much better than they thought she would. After a moment, Rinoa nodded and came back to the group.
"She wants us to wait for her on the basketball court. It's back here," Rinoa said, gesturing for them to follow her. The others exchanged looks and followed Rinoa toward the basketball court. They reached the ruined court in a matter of minutes and spread out, each person delving deep into their own thoughts, thinking of different ways to comfort Selphie, and coping with the problem at hand in their own ways. Squall finally spoke up.
"We're leaving here as soon as Selphie comes back," he said. The others nodded and began to go back to their thoughts when Zell stepped forward.
"Why did the sorceress come into a picture all of a sudden? Was she actually waiting for this opportunity? I wonder if she was living a normal life before all of this?" he thought outloud.
"But why the search for Ellone? Ellone, inviting us back to the past, whereas the sorceress searches for it. Could it be the sorceress is trying to make that journey into the past, too?" Quistis said. Finally, Rinoa took a step forward and breathed in deeply.
"You know, ever since I met all of you, I've been doing some thinking. I can't stop thinking about this, and I can't come up with an answer, either-" she started, but then Selphie walked onto the court.
"Sorry you had to wait. Thanks for coming all the way out here," she said, glancing at Squall. Irvine came up to her and tried to smile.
"You gonna be alright?" he asked. Selphie nodded.
"Yeah… Thanks… Take me with you when you fight the sorceress, ok? I wanna get even. I want my revenge!" she replied. Rinoa turned to the group hesitantly.
"Do we have to fight? Isn't there another way?" she asked. Zell stood back a bit and eyed her suspiciously.
"Huh?! What are you sayin'?" he exclaimed.
"I dunno… Maybe someone really intelligent can come up with a different way, so we wouldn't have to fight anymore..." she replied.
(If someone could come up with something, that'd be great, but no one's doing anything. They're all just as scared and uneasy as we are, Rinoa... All they do is complain. They just pretend to be thinking. They criticise others, but in the end, they can't do anything, either. Rinoa, why all this, all of a sudden? What do you expect from me? I grew up in Garden. I'm a SeeD... and a sorcerer. Do you understand?) Squall was absorbed in his thoughts.
"Squall? You have to think outloud, or else I won't understand," Rinoa told him, smiling a little.
Squall thought for a second and then spoke; "You were part of a resistance movement in Timber, right? Unlike other people, who were all talk, you took to your weapon and fought. Now you're saying all this? What's happening?" Rinoa shrugged.
"I guess I'm just getting a little scared. When I'm with all of you, I feel like we're on the same wavelength, you know? Then when we go into battle, it's different. Everyone's tempo picks up and I get left behind. I try to catch up, but it's no use... Once I catch up, I wonder...Is everyone safe? Will we all make it back together? When I start thinking like that..."
"Rinoa, I understand," Irvine stated. "Someone might not be there; someone you love may disappear before your very eyes. It's tough when you live your life thinking that way, but that's why I fight." Irvine glanced at Squall. "When I was a kid, about 4 or so, I was in an orphanage. There were lots of other kids there too. It was around the end of the Sorceress War, so I guess it wasn't too uncommon. Anyway, that's where I was, and out of all the kids there, one was very special to me. I really liked this girl, and it made me so happy just talking to her," he finished.
"Was that orphanage a stone house?" Selphie asked.
"Yeah..."
"An old house made of stone? By the ocean?" Quistis inquired.
"Yes... I knew right away, when we first met that you two were from the orphanage," Irvine told them.
"Hey! Why didn't you tell us!" Quistis and Selphie exclaimed at once.
"Cause you two seemed to have forgotten… Spunky little Sefie and bossy little Quisty."
"Hey, do you guys remember setting off fireworks?" Zell asked suddenly.
"YEAH!" Selphie exclaimed. "The house was by the ocean and there was a lighthouse!"
"We did set off fireworks!" Quistis grinned at the memory.
"If I remember that, does that mean I was there, too?" Zell queried anxiously. Irvine nodded. "Then what about my parents in Balamb?"
"The Dinchts in Balamb must have adopted you," Quistis said.
"Yep, that's probably what happened," Irvine agreed.
"Oh my god!" Zell exclaimed. "Seifer… He was there too, I remember him teasing me."
(Seifer... Seifer was always Seifer. Zell... Always crying and screaming. Irvine… Following Selphie around like a lost puppy dog. Quistis... You were bossy and difficult to get along with. Selphie... Always full of energy…) Squall thought.
"Yeah, Seifer was there, too. Except for Rinoa, we were all there," Irvine said pointedly. Everyone turned to Squall.
"Hey! That means..." Selphie began.
"Yeah... I was there, too," Squall said. "I... I was always sick and waiting for 'Sis' to come back." Squall turned away from the others, ashamed of his memories of himself, standing in the rain on the porch of the old house, crying for "Sis" to come back.
(...I didn't turn out ok at all…)
"'Sis' was Ellone. There was Quistis, Zell, Selphie, Irvine, Seifer, Ellone, and me..."
"She's the one that takes us back to Laguna's time," Selphie pointed out.
"She said she wanted to change the past; I don't know why."
"There can only be one reason for that." Quistis stated. "She must not be happy with the present."
"Hmm... So, Sis is Ellone, eh?" Irvine contemplated that for a moment. "Everyone was fond of Sis, but you, Squall, you kept hoggin' her for yourself. Then, shortly after she left, you got sick, and stayed sick, all the time. You were so sick that even Seifer was nice to you."
"You sure have a good memory. I don't think I was adopted because of the way I am," Squall replied carefully.
"Probably the same with Seifer, too. You two must have been at Garden by the age of 5 or so..." Irvine concurred.
"Even so, he's never mentioned anything about growing up in an orphanage," Quistis said. "I... I think I remember though. Yes, I remember now. Things didn't work out at my new home. So I came to Garden at the age of 10. That's when I first noticed Seifer and Squall… They were always fighting. Seifer was a kid who always had to be the centre of attention, but you would always ignore him. Eventually they would end up fighting, at least until puberty… Then for some reason Seifer quit picking fights with you."
"Why is it that we forgot? We grew up together as kids. How is that possible?" Selphie asked.
"How about this? The price you pay for using the GF." Irvine answered. "The GF provides us its power, but it makes its own place inside our brain..."
"So if we keep relying on the GF, we won't be able to remember a lot of things?" Zell wondered.
"There's no way Headmaster Cid would allow such a dangerous thing!" Quistis argued.
"Then how is it that Squall and I remember, while everyone else had forgotten? Well? In my case, I hadn't junctioned a GF until recently. That's why I remember a lot more than you guys," Irvine snapped. Quistis glanced at Squall and then turned to Selphie.
"What about you, Selphie? Your first experience with the GF was when you came to Balamb Garden, right?" she inquired.
"Well, I have a confession to make… When I was 12, I went on an outdoor training session. I found a GF inside one of the monsters I had defeated and I junctioned that GF for a while. So I have experience with GF, too. But...but what about you Squall? You've been at Balamb almost your whole life and you remember more than Irvine does!" Selphie noted.
"…I've only ever junctioned a GF once… For the Fire Cavern test…" Squall replied quietly, avoiding Quistis's eyes. She stared in shock at him and was about to say something when Zell interrupted her.
"What should we do?"
"Nothing," Squall told him.
"What do you mean nothing!?"
"What do you want to do? You wanna stop using GF now? As long as you continue fighting, you're indebted to the powers of the GF. If that's the price you have to pay, then you'll gladly pay it, I know you will." Squall disputed.
"Are you sure that's what we want!? …Maybe it's for the best. Yeah... I don't care if I forget about my childhood, it was all just Seifer picking on me. What's important now is having the power to protect my parents in Balamb. They adopted me, and there's no way I'm lettin' go of that power!" Zell conceded.
"Hey... Do you all remember Matron?" Irvine suddenly said.
"Yeah, She was always wearin' black..." Zell replied. "I see a resemblance. Matron and... They look alike..."
"I just pictured her face, and..." Selphie said as her eyes grew wider.
"Yes, she was very kind, with long black hair. I really admired her," Quistis told them.
"Look alike? That's not it... Matron's name is Edea Kramer… Matron is Sorceress Edea," Irvine pointed out. Everyone except Squall and Rinoa stared at Irvine in shock. "You're probably wondering why Matron would take over a country, and fire missiles, etcetera? At this point, we probably wouldn't comprehend it even if we tried.
"SeeD and Garden were all Matron's idea, right? I'm not a SeeD, but I share the same feelings with you. SeeDs are supposed to fight the sorceress, right? …Squall, you listening?" Irvine stopped suddenly and looked at the young commander, who was lost in his thoughts.
"Sorry, yes, I'm listening."
"So, like, what I wanted to say is that I understand what Rinoa's saying. I understand, but I'm still gonna fight. I want to stay true to everything I've stood for. I'm sure it's the same for everyone. That's why I thought it'd be best if everyone knew we would have to face Matron. I know our opponent is Matron, whom we all love very much, and we might lose something very important on account of the GF… But I don't mind. It's not like I drifted here on the tides of fate. I'm here because I chose to be here. And more importantly... Somehow, we're together again. Just like old times, though a lot's changed. We're not kids anymore...We're strong enough to take care of ourselves. Make our own decisions, and we're confronting a big one right now. Do we fight Matron or not? I say we fight. Shoot for a common goal. Hey, at least it'll keep us together a little longer," Irvine concluded, shrugging.
"Yeah. Let's do it. We can't run from her for the rest of our lives," Zell agreed.
"It's such a bummer, I can't believe we have to fight Matron," Selphie said dejectedly.
"I know, but Zell's right. We can't run from her forever," Quistis replied. Squall nodded and turned to Rinoa.
"Rinoa... It's up to you. We're gonna fight... I think it's the only way we can move on with our lives. If that makes any sense at all, come with us. I'm sure that's what everybody wants," he said softly. Rinoa looked into his eyes and sighed. He was right, it was what she wanted
"Yo, you wanna go check out Edea's orphanage?" Zell asked suddenly.
"We might find a clue," Irvine said, shrugging again.
"Clue? You mean as to why Matron turned out like this?" Quistis asked.
(It probably has to do with something that happened in the past…) Squall thought. "Despite what truth we find, it's not going to change the present, but... I wanna see, too. I don't know what we'll find, but let's go back," he said finally. Rinoa nodded.
"I guess that's it. We're fighting... You guys are fearless," she said.
"Rinoa, I wish we didn't have to fight, either," Squall said. She smiled a little and nodded. "Let's go," he said finally. Everyone took one last look at the ruined basketball court and followed Squall back to Garden.
***
Squall leaned against the balcony rail and stared out at the sea. He had just gotten out of the training centre and was rather tired, and a little nauseous. Doctor Kadowaki had suggested he do it without his gunblade, to get used to the magick use. They couldn't have him passing out in the middle of a battle with the sorceress, now could they? He sighed. Why him? He asked Hyne that everyday. Why couldn't he have grown up a normal child? Why did he have to be the one that had absorbed the sorceress powers? Why didn't they kill him? Why? He watched the ocean and thought about the conversation at the basketball court. Quistis was suspicious. What could he say to wipe away that suspicion? She had already seen that he never drew any magick, from anything. Truth be told, Squall didn't even know how to draw magick or GF's. He had never needed the knowledge. Same with junctioning; he knew how to do it with GF's only out of necessity, but he hadn't a clue as how to go about junctioning spells. He'd always thought junctioning was a bit annoying, but he was sometimes jealous of those who could just draw and junction magick. He had to learn a new spell, they could just absorb it into their minds.
Squall sighed; he was tired. They were going the long way around to Edea's house because of the bridge that connected Galbadia to Esthar. It was too small for Garden to go under, and too big for Garden to go over, so they had to go around. It was a long and tedious journey, but had to be done if they wanted to go to Edea's house. Squall was still extremely curious as to why Edea suddenly left. The others didn't remember, but she had been at Garden until they were nine. Then one day she just up and ran off. Squall stared at the ocean and thought about the day before she disappeared. He remembered that Matron hadn't been feeling well that day and ended their lessons early. That night, Instructor Shinomori had awakened him around 2am. He had wanted to know if Squall knew where Matron had gone, because she was missing.
"What are you doing out here? Isn't it cold?" wondered a voice behind him. Squall turned his head sharply and saw Rinoa. She walked up next to him and smiled. "Are you okay?" Squall turned his gaze back to the darkening ocean.
"I'm fine."
"Oh. You looked a little distant."
"I was thinking."
"About?"
"Nothing important."
"…Squall why do you do this?"
"Do what?" He turned his eyes to her. She looked very pretty in the fading light; like a porcelain doll. Squall shook his head a bit; he didn't need to be having thoughts like that right now.
"Push people away."
"I don't push them away. I don't let them get close enough to be pushed away."
"See? You don't let people get close and when they try to, you run away. Why?"
"…I'd rather not talk about it."
"Why?" Squall started to walk away but Rinoa grabbed his arm. "You're doing it again."
"I don't want to talk about it Rinoa. You wouldn't understand anyway."
"Wouldn't I? How do you know?"
"I just do."
"Try me."
"I'd rather not, now leave me alone," he replied, pulling out of her grip, and brushing his coat off as he walked away from her. Rinoa stood on the balcony for a little while longer, thinking.
"Squall, you've got quite a wall there, but I'm gonna break it down if it's the last thing I do."
***
Sorry, I forgot the author's notes first time around. Okay, I know it took a while, but these things happen. I'll try to get the next chapter out sooner, but if it's late, don't whine, 'kay? I've been sick lately. Anyway, I hope you all like this chapter, the end is about the only truly original part of it.
-Rhyein