Red Red Rose : Chpt. Nine : Persued
Just as she began recovering from the fall and trying to make sense of the entire situation, a long, black car pulled up and the door opened, revealing two armed men with visors and trench coats who were pointing their weapons at her. Her shoulder was throbbing and she felt rather weak from the fall, but managed to duck as one of the men fired, the bullet whizzed by her ear and for a moment her heart stopped and she thought she had been hit.
Run.
She turned around before either one of them could fire again and began running, as fast as she could, towards the back parking lot where she prayed that Squall would be waiting, on the bike. Her feet pounded against the sidewalk as she narrowly avoided another shot to the leg. Her breath came out in gasps as she struggled to dodge the bullets while narrowly avoid getting hit by the cars that were now speeding out of the parking lot. She heard a scream and the shattering of glass as one of the pieces of ammunition shattered the windshield of a car nearby, hoping that nobody was hurt, but sensing that if she turned around they would shoot at her again, she continued racing to the bike.
Please let Squall be there. Please Let Squall be there.
Her legs hurt from running, her heart was pounding from the panic of being shot at and she had already been shot in the shoulder.
I'm not going to make it.
Another bullet flew by her head; she threw herself to the ground as they fired again, narrowly avoiding one to her back. Rolling over blindly, not paying attention to the cars anymore, she began running on the road, desperate to get away.
The sound of her feet meeting the pavement with every step was all she could hear, all she could think about was getting away. They were getting close now, she could tell because she felt one of them try to grab her, but she pulled away before he could get a good grip.
"Get the hell away from me!" She shouted, her legs would not carry her any further, she could tell, but she sped up because the next time they reached out at her, they would probably succeed in pulling her back.
Get away. Get away.
She was now in the parking lot, running around cars and ducking behind them as the two attackers continued to fire shots, often embedding the ammunition into the vehicles around her. Silently, she cursed Squall for parking so far away. Before she could even acknowledge it, a car had come speeding towards her, she tried to dodge, to duck, and to do something but it was too fast. She found herself leaping into the air and then rolling off of the hood, onto the ground. All she could feel was the intense, white, hot pain in her shoulder as it connected with the car, causing her to cry out before landing face down. The men were behind her and came to a halt as they inspected her seemingly motionless body on the cement. The world was quickly becoming hazy in front of her eyes but the will was too strong to live. One of the guys grabbed her arm, the one that had been shot, and yanked her off the ground. She clenched her fists, almost crying out again, but quickly swung them at him, hitting him squarely in the jaw. Her hand felt like the bone had shattered as she felt it connect. At first, Quistis assumed she had broken several bones in her wrist area when she heard the loud crack. However, it turned out to be the man's jaw as he spun around from the impact of the blow, landing on the ground. The other growled and tried to tackle her, she was too fast for him, despite her wounds, and he rammed himself into a car, cursing as his head went through a window.
Her head began to pound, winced at the pain, and raised her hand to her temple, which was still bleeding from slamming it against the floor in the school. Now the back of her head was aching from the impact of the hood of the car and the world began to swim.
The bike… Squall…
She staggered forward, leaning against the car strongly for support. Her head began to feel light and then everything started spinning and blending together as she fell to her knees, still frantic to get to the motorcycle.
Too fast…too much. Am I dying? Is this what it feels like?
Her vision became even more obscured as she felt another serge of pain run up her arm.
I've got to make it. I've got to find the bike. It's the only thing left.
Just as she thought that she would pass out, two strong arms lifted her off the ground and mounted her on a seat. She opened her eyes, amazed, as she felt the wind going through her hair and the sound of a loud motor humming.
"Thought you were dead." Squall muttered, speeding up as he noticed the car pulling away, quickly gaining speed and beginning to follow them.
"Don't worry, I've already been shot and lost enough blood, I won't disappoint you." She mumbled sarcastically.
She saw him cringe and immediately regretted saying that.
"I'm…tired." She murmured, feeling her body slowly giving out beneath her.
It won't be long now, will it?
"I've got to lose these guys. You know the shortcuts and alleys around here better then I do. I need…"
"Help?"
He nodded.
"I'm sorry then."
"?"
They rounded a corner sharply and her head felt like it would soar right off of her shoulders, she collapsed against him, ready to let the darkness come.
"Too late."
"Don't fall asleep." He ordered.
"I can't keep my eyes open."
"Listen to me, we've got to get out of this. You're going to live and we're…" He stopped for a moment, unsure of whether or not he should go on, "We're going to get Seifer back."
The words sounded strange coming from his mouth, he was never one to give encouragement or try to help someone out on his own accord. She blinked and tried to clear her vision, wondering if she had been hallucinating.
"I don't know how much of a help I can be…" She told him, being honest, "…I'll try."
The car was gaining on them quickly and she felt Squall jerk the cycle to the right suddenly, just as a bullet whizzed by.
"There's an alley to your right, those trashcans are blocking it but we can get through them."
"Positive?"
"Just do it."
He maneuvered the bike to the right-most lane and turned in, preparing for the impact as he knocked over the garbage and the bike shook violently. The car pulled in too, it was wide enough for the both of them to fit and Squall kept a close eye on the enemy through the mirrors. They fired once more, almost knicking Quistis in the back; he gritted his teeth and made a hard left turn as a street came up. The noise was almost deafening, the screeching of tires, the sound of the engine and the car scraping against metal as the enemies did the same thing upon coming out of the alley. She saw that they were near the Opium now and barely had time to think before Squall was barking out questions to her.
"Turn right here, then make a left." She instructed, hoping that they could lose the foes.
The car made a shrieking noise as it went through a red light, still close behind them and getting closer. There was a man, his head and upper body was out the front window and he was firing shots at them. Before they had a chance to move away, it came up right beside them and the bike almost tipped as it brushed against the side. Everything was going by much too fast, trees, buildings and people all blended as they continued to speed down the street. Quistis was dimly aware of the shots that were being fired at them now, one just about grazed the bike but Squall dodged to the right and leaned sideways to avoid the bullet.
She felt him swerve to the side and turn onto the next road, nearly colliding with a large truck. Meanwhile, their enemy had slowed down a bit and was now behind them, forced to stop when the truck went by. The roar of the engine filled her ears as they went straight down the road, occasionally rocking back and forth to avoid the oncoming cars because it was a one-way street. The car behind them had to turn on the sidewalk and slow down everything another car came down the road, however it wasn't a very busy street and soon they had caught up once again.
"Grab my gun, it's in my holster on my waist." Squall demanded.
"I can't fire at them."
"Do it."
Not wanting to argue with him, she reached for his gun slowly moved her hands around his waist to feel for the holster, which she could not see. When she found it, Quistis grabbed the gun and held onto it but did not shoot back at the car which was rapidly coming up to the side.
"Shoot."
"I'll fall."
"I won't let you."
"Fine." Her voice came out weak but she had meant for it to be in an angry tone.
Carefully aiming the gun, she saw one of them through the window and took the shot, nearly tumbling off of the bike as she predicted, however Squall grabbed onto her before she did so. The road seemed to be one big blur as they continued dashing down the street. The white line in the center had become one with the gray pavement and she shook her head to try to clear her eyes of the mist that blurred everything. The shot had missed; it ricocheted off the top of the car before ripping through the air.
"Fire again." This time, he grabbed onto her before she pulled the trigger. The bullet crashed into the back window of the car, shattering the glass, but unfortunately, nobody was seated back there. The enemy instantly responded by firing a few shots of their own, one grazed through Squall's spiky tresses however it did not make contact with his skull.
"Careful." He shouted, grabbing onto her hair and tugging her head to the side as the ammunition sailed by.
She winced but did not shout out in pain.
"Go faster." Quistis ordered, not caring about her reduced visibility or the fact that she was slumped against him now due to the fact that she was on the verge of blacking out.
"This thing can't go any faster." He shouted and turned left at the intersection, narrowly avoiding ramming into an oncoming car because it was a red light.
"They're too close. Go through there." She pointed to a small alley that the car would not be able to fit in, praying that they would reach the other side faster then their enemies could. The motorcycle raced past dumpsters, people, and rats in the alley. She was almost thrown off as he turned abruptly to avoid hitting a child. Hanging off the bike, one leg on and the other dangling, her head almost grazed against the road. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to regain her balance, quickly shoving her head out of the way of an oncoming cyclist. Her leg began sliding, she bit her lip, still in a frenzy to try to re-mount while remaining conscious at the same time. Squall, having noticed she was almost off the bike, quickly grabbed her shirt and pulled her back into an upright position, just as a they brushed up against a Dumpster that would have knocked her off.
Without warning, as they got closer to the road and she thought that they had lost the car, it came speeding down the street ahead and came to an immediate halt in front of the alley.
"Shit, we're trapped."
"Jump." Squall ordered.
"Are you insane?"
"Jump off, I'll drive the cycle into them and get off too, right before it hits."
"How do you expect me to jump when we're travelling practically 100 miles per hour and…" She stopped, become dizzy once again, "And…" She trailed off, not being able to continue.
"Watch out."
She felt herself slide of the bike, Squall had pushed her off, then she was in the air for a brief moment, watching him as he steered the bike directly at the car, not hopping off until he was within five feet of the car. Then it came as a rush, her body was flung against the brick wall, her head had been down so it hadn't been hit, however the wind had been knocked out of her and every nerve in her body felt as though it would tear apart.
The thunderous noise of the explosion, the intense color, the flames…the smoke…she saw it out of the corner of her eye as the cycle made contact with the car and Squall quickly shot at the gas tank before it hit.
I have to find you.
Why?
If you were here this wouldn't be happening, would it, idiot?
If…Do you miss me, Love?
No, I'm glad you're gone.
Why?
Don't be an ass and play dumb. You were using me and you fucking know it, so do I now, don't try to lie.
………
That's what I thought
Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do.
It certainly doesn't seem like it right now.
I was in that car, you know.
Are you dead? Are we both dead?
No, I'm here beside you. I got dragged out of the car before it hit, by one of Blake's men.
Then how are you talking to me?
I managed to escape them for a few moments but they're coming after me now, so I hid you in the Dumpster. There's no time for me to get away now, they've seen me.
What?
Open your eyes.
She saw a wisp of blonde hair from outside the walls of the Dumpster and realized that the enemy had thought they had run off before crashing into them.
"This way, they ran down there."
Suddenly the hair was gone and she heard a loud thud.
"Don't try that shit again or we'll throw you into the flames."
There was a loud smacking sound and another thud.
"You'll never find them." A familiar voice mocked the men.
She heard a few noises, a grunt, and then the sound of something being dragged on the ground.
Seifer got away from the car and shoved me here before they could find me…he could have run away and left me. But he's… Where's Squall?
She looked over to her right and saw him lying beside her, she wondered why Seifer had saved him but quickly pushed the thought out of her mind as he began to stir. They weren't too far from home now and she knew it wouldn't be long until her body finally gave out, noticing the crimson stain on her shoulder had grew even larger. Quistis moved closer to him, making sure he hadn't been hurt. He blinked open his eyes and stared at her for a moment.
"You're shoulder." Then he looked at her head and frowned, "I've got to get out of here."
"Ssh. They'll hear you."
"Blake's guys? How did we get here?"
"Seifer threw us in here in a desperate attempt to hide us from them."
"…Will you be able to make it back?"
She closed her eyes from a moment, not wanting to answer.
"You should leave me and go. You can make it out of here before he sends another car down."
"It wouldn't do any good. We still need you."
"Squall…" She said, she smiled at the bitterness of the situation, "I've been shot in the shoulder, my head's been slammed into a marble floor, I was practically hit by a car and I just got flung into a wall. You think I'm really going to make it back to the apartment? Hmm?"
"You'll make it." He said, quickly pulling himself up and pulling her up too.
"No, you will though. Rinoa's got the plans for Blake's penthouse. You don't need me anymore, you can just sneak in there and get him." She paused for a moment, "Hey, why are you getting all worried about me, anyway?"
"I'm not."
She was quiet for a few moments.
"Let's go. Try walking by yourself."
He grabbed out by the waist and pulled her down from the Dumpster after getting out himself and setting her down. She took one step, stumbled and he wrapped her arm around his shoulders before she could fall.
"I wonder…how soon will it be before all my blood is gone?" Her voice sounded tired but angry as well.
"You won't die out here. Not yet."
"Do you think it hurts to die, Squall?" Her voice became cold.
"………"
"I wonder who'll find my body. Or perhaps the rats will get to it first." She mused, disgustedly.
Before she could say anymore he grabbed her, taking her off her feet and into his arms, and started running, speeding by people and inanimate objects, only concentrating on getting her back to the apartment. As the minutes passed and all she heard was the thudding of his footsteps against the sidewalk, she thought of the past few days and how she had changed from being calm, cool and collected to being weak, cynical and a burden to the people around her. He kept close to the walls of buildings, making sure that none of Blake's men could see him. They seemed to be patrolling the area around the trash. Thought she didn't see Seifer, she couldn't help pondering what had happened to him, perhaps they might have tried to save him, had she not been wounded. She wondered why Squall didn't stop, he was obviously tired, and they had been running for some time.
"I'm heavy."
"…………"
"I'm dragging you down."
"Heavy enough to crush Seifer when you were on top of him?"
She glared at him.
"I suppose you watched those tapes too. Not that it matters now."
"Did you drag Seifer down into the Dumpster with you?"
"Just shut up."
"Go talk to a wall or stop moaning." He growled, returning the glare.
Her body shook with anger.
"You don't know anything about me. You have absolutely no idea what it's like to-."
"I don't care."
"Really? I wonder sometimes… If you could care less about me, then why didn't you leave me behind?" Her tone was hard and fierce.
"We're almost back at the apartment now, would you rather have me drop you here?"
"………"
They crossed the street and ran through the small playground, almost crashing into kids, but he didn't stop running. The infants stared at them, a few appeared to be frightened while others were just curious. Such innocent curiosity, did they wonder what it was like to be carried by someone who hated you and be helpless as your life bled through your fingertips?
True, they were almost back to his home now, but how she wished that he would just let her be. Then she felt guilty and selfish, Seifer had sacrificed his freedom to save them. He had loved her enough to give up something that he must have wanted so badly, just so she could be safe. Even when they had hurt him so much, he wanted to give her the chance to live, he wanted her to be happy. Even back in the field, he had told her to run, to leave him there, as long as she got out alright. But how could she manage? Wasn't she too weak now? Wasn't it too late to let hope weave it's way into her mind? Thinking about him, remembering what it was like to be one with him, it was what gave her the strength to go on for another day. The courage to wake up every morning without him, knowing that he was going through hell for her, it was what kept her from giving into total despair as she had ran through those halls at school and saved herself as she landed on the ground outside after sliding down the roof. If he was there with her, would she be acting as defenseless and illiberal? Quistis had Squall with her now, Squall, who had actually inspired her from what he said on the motorcycle, about staying alive and finding Seifer once again. Squall, who had made her shut up about her problems a few seconds ago, and who was now putting all his effort into saving her, even if it meant carrying her.
She had been relying on people so much lately, disobeying direct orders that were only issued for her safety, almost killing herself because she had to go outside, could she not have been patient? If she truly loved Seifer, the way he loved her, would she care more about staying alive for him and rescuing him rather then drowning herself in self-pity and acting weak?
For what was she willing to live? For what would she die? For what…was she willing to sacrifice herself for? An endless stream of questions, too plentiful to answer, they came to her at this moment, just as she had allowed herself to be completely engulfed in anger and self-hatred.
Why do you hate yourself?
Because I watched him get taken away, I watched them beat him brutally while being stuck in a cage.
Why do you blame yourself? Why do you blame others?
To sort my emotions. Pointing a finger at someone or even yourself is always less painful then admitting the truth.
What is the truth?
I am weak enough to be calling upon death to end the suffering and pain I am going through.
Are you the only one in pain?
Seifer's in pain as well.
Has he given up?
He saved me…he was strong for me so I have to return the favor.
Is he forcing you to be strong and pay him back for all he's done for you?
He just wants me to be safe. He doesn't expect anything in return.
What are you feeling?
Lost, utterly lost.
Really?
I feel like I don't know what's real and what's a dream anymore. I feel like I want to wake up and find myself in his arms once more.
Are you incomplete without him?
I am one whole, I do not need anyone else to complete me. But I let down my guard for him.
Why did you offer yourself to him?
I had nobody else. He's the only person that loved me, unless you count my dead parents and the foster mother I got taken away from when I was still an infant.
Do you love him? Can you survive without him?
I love Seifer, I never knew that I did. I thought that all I cared about was that feeling when I was bonded with someone. That closeness. I never had anyone that I could be that close with before. I don't know if I can survive without him.
You survived without him for fifteen years, didn't you?
Fifteen years of misery. Fifteen years of nothing. Fifteen years of never knowing love.
What is love?
Love is when you are close to someone, you trust him or her, you give yourself to them fully and expect nothing in return. Love is when someone accepts you just by being yourself. Love is the basis for all relationships.
When you found Seifer, was that the kind of love you speak of?
…Yes…
So then, when you are not with him, you feel the nothingness again, you feel unloved and unaccepted like you felt when you were a child? Is that why you have been acting like one?
When I am without Seifer I feel that I am back with those people who were forced to live with me, they hated me. They hurt me. But…when I was a child I never had to worry about finding love again because I didn't know what it was like.
And now that you know what love is like, do you regret you've known it?
No, I do not want to forget all that we've been through.
Then what causes you to feel this? To be so weak?
I don't know how else to act. Sadness…confusion…too many emotions at once.
Who controls your emotions?
I control my emotions, or at least I try to. Sometimes it's impossible to help how one feels.
Does Squall help you feel better about yourself?
I don't know Squall. He's so quiet, so cold, so emotionless.
And?
That's how I used to be, before I met Seifer. Then I started to act tough, I still didn't open up to people much but I enjoyed other peoples' company.
Why did you cling so tightly to the life that you despised when you were running from them? And when you were being chased?
After Seifer was gone, I didn't want to feel anything but the numbness, so finally it set in but I found that it wasn't such a merciful gift after all. When I was running, when I was trying to stay conscious in the parking lot, it was the only time I felt alive, the only time I felt like I used to feel before this started.
Do you want to feel alive again?
I want to feel love again. I want to return to being the person I was before – I was strong.
But you buried your fears and self-hatred deep down, ignoring them and turning to Seifer instead. Is that really how you want to be again?
I want to be content with my life and myself. I want to be able to get over my fears and get over my depression and self-pity.
Then why don't you?
Because I do not know how…
So you will rely on him once again?
No. I will start to believe in my life and grow stronger.
How?
I'll stop my fear from getting in the way of my happiness.
Will you forget what happened, so long ago? What about what's happening to you right now, will you forget that as well?
I don't want to forget, I want to live!
Squall raced up the front steps and nudged the door open then ran through the other one just as it was closing from when a few other people had walked in. The lobby was bright and the glare hurt her eyes. He ran into the elevator as soon as it arrived and was silent for the ride up. She didn't quite know what to think. How could she simply start being strong when she was being carried back to the apartment?
When the doors opened and Squall went over to the door of their room, he took one hand off her while using the other one to shove open the door and get in.
Walking over to the couch, he gently set her down and she noticed that he was breathing hard and perspiring while he examined her shoulder.
For a long while he was silent, his face betrayed any emotion.
"You're going to die." He said finally, "It would have been better if I had left you back there."
She was silent, thinking about what she had realized in the past few moments.
"It's just a graze, the bullet just slid right past you and ruptured some skin. You didn't lose a lot of blood…it's your head…" He knelt down, taking a closer look at her temple and he became silent.
She knew that he had not been serious about her dying, it was only his way of trying to scare her back to reality, which she had already come back to and accepted.
"I'm alright now. You can tell me. I won't start crying anymore. I will not complain."
"Multiple lacerations and bruises. Your going to be in…"
Though it was still a recent realization, she knew that as time passed, she would eventually start being even stronger.
"A lot of pain." She finished, staring into his eyes and wondering what he was feeling and what he was thinking.
"It'll be gone by morning but right now your going to have to manage."
"I'll be fine. What about you? You must be tired."
He shrugged, got up and went into the kitchen for a short while. She raised her hand to her temple and rubbed it, withdrawing her hand suddenly as she felt a piercing, stinging sensation.
It's alright. I am not afraid anymore.
Slowly, but surely, she sat up and rose to her feet, willing herself to get up and walk. The pain was not so bad, as long as she did not think about it and agonize over the wound. Quistis walked over to the kitchen, taking small, slow steps at first, but then walking more fluently as she stepped in. He seemed surprised to see her up, for he raised an eyebrow.
"You should go to bed, you're tired."
"Speak for yourself. I may be in pain but I'm still capable of staying awake and thinking things over."
"?"
"Don't look so surprised. I may have been down for the count for a little while but that doesn't mean that I gave up entirely. We have a battle to fight, and if that involves making some sacrifices then that is fine with me."
"Just a moment ago, you were talking about dying."
"If you thought that you had been shot and assumed you had a fractured skull, would you not believe you were on your deathbed?"
"I suppose."
"It is only mental angst. Everyone experiences but I can deal with it, because I know that I am not alone. However…you don't know that do you?"
"………"
"Even though you were there for me, you will always be alone."
"Why?"
"Because you refuse to let down your walls for anyone, even Rinoa. I do not want you to get me wrong, I am not stating that I am perfect, I am much too close to the opposite, for my own liking. Everyone has their own problems."
"Whatever."
"When is Rinoa getting home? We need to talk about a plan."