Red + Red + Rose : Epilogue
Quistis Trepe walked through the gate, a plane ticket to Massachusetts in her hand and an emotionless expression on her face. She flashed the person at the door the pass and only hesitated for a moment before stepping onto the plane, and walking down the short hallway that would lead her into the seating area. It was quiet, probably quite common for such an early flight. Her footsteps made barely any sound as the softly met with the floor when she padded down the corridor. She had a first class ticket, but it still appeared to be rather confined in the large vehicle, though her Claustrophobia probably played some role in that feeling of being closed in.
She walked through the doorway and into the room; barely anyone sat inside, those that did were either sleeping or engrossed in a book or the foreign film that had started to play on the small television monitor at the front, mounted near the ceiling. They didn't pay her any attention when she came in, not bothering to even glance her way, it made her feel small and insignificant, like she did not exist with them, like she would never again be like these people. They were mostly in their thirties or forties, some a bit younger, only the youthful ones reminded her of herself, what life had been like before the nightmare had begun and her pleasant dreams had suddenly disappeared into thin air.
However, amazingly, if she had been given the choice, she would still want to remember the adventure, being able to recall the details of what had unfolded at the penthouse. After all, it had been the last time she had seen Seifer, the only time he had really opened up to her, and in that place they had shared their final bonding. The sun had set on their time together, to her it seemed like it would never rise again, she didn't want the sun to ascend without Seifer. Yet, life did go on and it was a new day. A new start, and a fresh one at that.
Do you remember how you used to come over so late at night and scare me? I used to tell you I hated that, but deep down I suppose I honestly didn't mind it so much, at least you were there with me and I wasn't so alone. Perhaps I shouldn't have yelled at you all those times that you came over, all the times that you phoned me, and for the endless teasing that I received from you at school. In contrast to the past few months, that was heaven you and I were in, it was the one point in my life where I believed I was truly happy. Although it was a lie to myself about that false feeling of satisfaction, absolutely nothing right now could come close to how elated I felt during these past few years that I've known you. We went through our bad times and good times, occasionally we fought and brawled over irrelevant matters, before I used to think of it as a living-hell. Now I realize that all the times you were there for me, all the times that you wanted nothing more then to be with me and respond to my emotions, it made the weak points in our relationship so tiny, so meaningless.
Truly, I don't know what I would've done had you not come up to me at my locker that day and introduced yourself, picking up all the things I had clumsily dropped and kissing my hand, trying to totally warm me up. I shoved you away at first, showing you my usual rude, egotistical side in the beginning before I came to the sudden insight that I actually didn't mind your company. I found myself attracted to the way you acted, so carefree and thoughtless, I think that I was more curious then in love at the start, over time that changed. I don't know exactly what happened, I doubt that I ever will, all I know is that somehow I came to trust you, to care for you, and to love you while you had become attached to me in the same way. There were times that I absolutely despised myself for being such a 'lovesick fool,' I see now that I was wrong for thinking that, and it is only through love that a person can really learn a very valuable lesson.
I'll never forget us, what I stood up for in the past, what our bond meant to me, or what it was like to have another half to myself, and that was you. I don't want to forget the first time that you took me out, to the summer carnival, we sat on that grassy hill and we showed each other how we felt, physically. That night, you totally dropped the snobbish and happy-go-lucky attitude that I had expected from you, and for an experienced manager on the street corners, you became so much gentler and passionate then I had ever seen you. I don't know exactly what change occurred, but I still hold that memory, our memory, in my heart, my mind, and in the ring you gave me that night. I could've sworn that it was like a star on that band of white gold, it practically glowed, as I did, on that evening.
I used to think we were only about the sex and that was all we were based on. I was wrong and I'm sorry that I could ever misinterpret us like that, if I could go back in time then I would never have thought all those horrible things about you. I would've never been so shallow…But…you can't change the past. It's impossible and no matter what I say or do now, what happened back then will never reverse itself. My actions and attitude cannot be altered, destiny unfolded and left me broken, sad, yet with new knowledge and an understanding. If I could save Rinoa from getting shot, if I could take back all those heartless things I thought about you when I thought you were my enemy, well there's nothing more in the world that I would love to do rather to change them. Nevertheless, all I am left to do now is pick up whatever pieces of my old life remain, try to piece my world back together, and move on so that I'm not stuck in our history like a ghost.
I regret having to leave all my companions behind, I yearn to go back and run into their open arms and take the easy way out, but that dream I had, that vision of us going to Harvard before I awoke in Blake's penthouse, I must follow it. I know that I have to at least attempt to do something right in my life, even if this is the wrong choice to others, for me it is the only correct one that I can possibly take to go on and continue living, even without you in my life.
So I pray to whatever God or higher being exists in this universe, that I will be able to live with this decision and that somewhere, wherever you may be, you are watching over me, by my side, and will try to protect me from my fears and doubts. No matter what, don't let me lose faith, don't let me lose hope and, most importantly, do not ever let me lose our memories. As long as you are near me, I'll live my life the best way that I can, welcoming the future but also being able to fondly recall our past without breaking down or wanting to make it go away. I can survive…I just need your help.
I know that you are still alive somewhere, I can feel you. I don't care what anyone else says, even Rinoa and Squall, I believe that you are out there somewhere, keeping an eye on me, keeping me out of trouble, and one day we will be together again, no matter how far in the distant future that may be, I'll be here. For what? I'll be 'waiting' here. Why? I'll be waiting for you…so…If you come here…You'll find me. I promise.
She fastened her seatbelt and gazed out the window, just as the plane began vibrating when the engines warmed up. They were almost ready to take off, almost ready to leave this place that meant so much to her. But she wasn't leaving so that she could forget this just to start over, she was leaving because this was what she had been planning to do and wanted to follow through with it for her own sake, not anyone else's.
Quistis felt the large aircraft begin to move as it picked up speed on the runway, getting closer and closer to lifting off. Things began blending through the window, everything one big blur as it continued to race past the surrounding airport. Though the shaking was minimized, she still felt the rumbling and began to tremble as everything flew by.
Deep down, the past would never leave her, just remained sealed away safe in her heart until her love came to unlock it again, and she knew that someday, when she needed him most, he would come for her, and whisk her off of her feet, embracing her in his arms and she could stare into his eyes. Those sparking green eyes which, suddenly, she found returning her gaze from where a tall, familiar, young blonde bloke stood, leaning up against the door frame, where one of the flight attendants was ushering him in. He had a smirk on his face as he came walking, confidently, toward where she sat, with her eyes wide in awe and her mouth agape. She was in the perfect position for him to lower his lips to hers and engulf her in the most intense, passionate and deepest kiss that she had ever experienced, just as the plane lifted off the runway and they began flying through the air.
"When two people love each other, but just can't seem to get it together, how do you know when you get to the point where enough is enough?" She whispered into his ear as he hugged her close.
He paused for a moment, finding himself getting lost in their un-breakable gaze and just taking in the beauty as she smiled and tears of joy began forming in her magnificent royal blue eyes.
"…Never."
* The End *
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Author's Notes:
Woo-hoo! I finally finished this. You'll have to excuse my horrible typos and formatting problems throughout the story – I have yet to have a friend 'beta' read it. The thought of a sequel crossed my mind but I think that it's good as a stand alone fic because of the ending. Now, if Seifer HADN'T returned and she was alone on the plane, then maybe…
I'd like to say thanks to everyone who read through it and reviewed ^^ Also: thankies to megan & livvy for giving me inspiration. Especially Megs, cause she edited and read the last few chapters and she rocks at editing and is an amazing writer. I have to apologize to all my readers that I made wait so damn long … there were things in my life going on while the last chapter was being written, that prevented me from posting it sooner. Thanks again to all of you who stuck with me and waited patiently for me to get things together.
If you have any questions or comments please feel free to drop me a line, my email addy is
Kisses,
Nicole