Hi everyone!! Yet another Steph/Hunter one from me –
what is the world coming to, huh??? Anyway, the lyrics are from the song "Out
Of Reach" (hence the title) sung by Gabrielle and is on the soundtrack of the
excellently brill film "Bridget Jones's Diary". I think the only thing left to
say is lyrics are shown by // and feedback is very much welcome!!!!
Dear Hunter,
I heard a song on the radio today, it reminded me of you.
Of us. Or at least, what I thought was us. In fact, it pretty much summed up
our sham of a marriage.
I know we agreed at the beginning that it was only a
business deal but I thought it had grown to be so much more then that. Last
Monday, when you said you had something important to tell me, I wasn't
expecting that; a new house maybe, for us to try for kids again quite likely,
but never what you said to me. That we, us, was over. For good.
I've spent the past week
going over and over again in my mind the last few months in an attempt to
pinpoint where it all went wrong, what I did that was so wrong that it made you
stop loving me. And then the other day it hit me, it wasn't that you had
stopped loving me, it was that you never had to begin with.
//Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?//
I feel so stupid, I
should have realised ages ago that I meant nothing to you, that all the love
there was in our marriage was one-sided. But I honestly thought you loved me
and that the flowers, the gifts, the jewellery, that they were all tokens of
your love, not an insurance policy to make sure that you had at least a quarter
of the McMahon power behind you. Why did you let me believe that you loved me
Hunter if it wasn't true?
//Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be//
You said that you had
never meant to hurt me, that if you had known how deep my feelings were you
would have ended it a long time ago. You said and I quote, that our marriage
was "fun while it lasted" but it was "getting a bit old". I know that words
aren't your speciality, but that hurt Hunter, that hurt. Surely there was a
kinder way of telling me you had decided that I was like an old toy you had
gotten bored of and had thrown to the side; why the heck didn't you just say
that, you would have given the same meaning.
The really pathetic thing
though is that I can't blame you for ending it. As you pointed out, both of us
had agreed that this was never going to be a permanent thing, it was always
going to end one day, I just never guessed that you would hold me to it. I
thought that after making it through a year, after beating all the obstacles in
our path, we would last forever. But then, I've been wrong about many things.
After all, I was wrong about you loving me, wasn't I?
//So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you//
But whatever, you know I
never wrote this letter to have a go at you, to sling some more insults in
there, I think we both did enough of that Monday night. I just wanted you to
know that I am alright, I haven't tried to commit suicide or anything so
there's no need to send your minions round everyday to check up on me. Yeah, I
know it's you who sent Edge and Christian round to try and cheer me up. But
believe it or not Hunter, you are get-overable to quote them two and I've
realised that life does go on without you. Admittedly, in a very painful way at
the moment, but that pain will go away eventually, hopefully.
//Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK//
Yeah, it hurts like hell
at the moment but I know life goes on, I know that eventually it'll all end.
Look at Andrew, after all the moping around he did after me he sure seems to
have been able to pick back up the pieces of his life pretty quickly. But maybe
that's because he didn't love me too, maybe he, like you, was just after my
money and power. Maybe I'm just unlovable and that's why all of this is
happening. Maybe I'll never have someone love me the way I want to be loved.
But I have to stop
thinking like this, he wasn't worthy of my love and neither are you. In fact,
no man is worth me moping over like it's the end of the earth. That's why
tonight, I'm gonna take the first step in piecing my life back together. That's
the real purpose of this letter, to let you know that I'm going to be at
Smackdown tonight accompanying Edge and Christian. I thought that maybe I
better let you know so it wouldn't come as a complete shock to see your soon-to-be-ex
wife wandering around backstage instead of at home with her Daddy, crying her
eyes out.
//Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me//
Maybe, just maybe, when
all the pain has gone and all the rumours and speculation has disappeared we
can be friends again, even partners in crime every once in a while. After all,
what's the point in being a bad girl if I haven't got anyone to be bad with?
You know, that whatever happens in the future, whoever we both end up with, I
will always have a place for you in the corner of my heart no matter what. I
just need time at the moment, but eventually the fun-loving Stephanie you
adored, even if you didn't love her, will return. Just give me time Hunter.
All my best,
Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley
Stephanie McMahon
