Author's Note: Sorry this took so long to get done. I have to admit I got slightly tired of it about half way through, so I didn't work on it as much as I should have. That's the problem with having a laptop with too many cool games on it. You end up playing the games instead. But here it is! Hope you like it.
Once upon a flamin' time there was a kingdom called Excelsior. The King of Excelsior, King Charles, had twelve daughters, each more beautiful than the last, and they all slept in the same room.
Jubilee: How could they all sleep in the same room together?
Wolverine: How should I know? Can I continue?
Jubilee: Yeah.
Wolverine: Okay…
Every night the King would lock them into their room, and every mornin' their dancin' slippers would have holes in the soles. The King couldn't figure out why this was, so he said that whoever could find out would get to be king when he died. I guess he was pretty old or somethin'.
Gambit: Get on wit' it.
Wolverine: Grrrr….
Gambit: Gambit know dat look. He shut up now.
But if someone came, and couldn't find out in three days, they would be killed without mercy.
Rogue: Kinda harsh, ain't it?
Wolverine: Hey, I didn't write the story.
Before long, a Prince came to find out the answer to the mystery. His name was Scott and he was a whiny, stuck up, wimpy…
Cyclops: I get the point.
…prince. He was shown to the Princesses bedroom, and was told to watch the princesses closely so that he could find out where they went. He tried, but unfortunately for poor old Scott, he fell asleep and didn't find out anything. When he woke up in the mornin', the princess' shoes were standing there in a row, with holes in their soles. On the second and third nights the same thing happened. And so, he was killed mercilessly, and they started waitin' fer another prince.
Cyclops: Is that really what you think of me?
Wolverine: Ummm…
Cyclops: I'm going to take that as a yes.
Wolverine: On with the story.
Now, about the same time there was a soldier who had just been let loose from the army, and he was headin' toward the town where the King lived. On the way he met an old lady with fire red hair and a bad attitude.
Jean: Hey!
"Where are you going?" She asked him.
"I don't really know." He said. "I was kinda thinkin' about goin' and figurin' out where the princesses go every night."
"That's not so hard." She said. "You must not drink the wine that they give you, and pretend to be fast asleep." She handed him a cloak. "If you put this on you will be invisible, and can follow the princesses wherever they go." Then she disappeared. Well, she didn't really disappear; she just made you think she had. She was a Telepath, you know.
Jubilee: Of course.
Wolverine: Yeh, of course.
So the soldier went on to the palace.
"I want to try and find out the answer to the mystery." He said when he met King Charles and his wife, Queen Lilandra.
"What is your name, sir?" the Queen asked him.
"Logan."
"Well, Logan, you shall have your chance at discovering the secret." She said. And Logan was decked out in royal clothes, and when it was nighttime, he was shown to the princesses' room.
Jubilee: Gasp!
Wolverine: Oh, c'mon. He's not going to do anythin'.
He was about to go to sleep, when the eldest princess, Princess Ororo, came and brought him a cup of wine. He drank it, forgetting what the old lady on the road had said. He fell asleep, because the wine was drugged. But fortunately, his healing factor kicked the drug out fast, so he was awake when the princesses awoke to go dance. But he kept snoring so they would think he was asleep. The princesses heard his snores, and the second eldest, Princess Betsy, said,
"Well, he might have saved his life." Then they all opened their closets and got out dresses, and dressed before the mirrors, exclaiming at the beautiful dresses. The youngest of the sisters, Princess Jubilee, had a beautiful new yellow dress, and she showed it off. But somehow, a cloud hung over Princess Jubilee's feeling of joy.
Jubilee: Why?
Wolverine: I was gettin' to that. Will you let me continue?
Jubilee: yeah, sure.
Jubilee was sure something was going wrong. So she said,
"I don't know what it is, but something doesn't feel right. It feels like someone is watching us."
One of her older sisters, one of the middle ones, who's name was Princess Kitty, laughed. "You silly goose. You're afraid of nothing. Have you forgotten all the princes that have come so far? 'Ro had hardly any need to give the soldier the drug. He wouldn't wake up anyway."
"Yeah, I guess so." Princess Jubilee said. But she still wasn't quite convinced.
When they were all ready to go, they checked the soldier to make sure he was asleep. He had heard them coming over, and made sure to stay very still and not to open his eyes. When they were sure he was asleep, Princess Ororo went over to her bed, and touched a switch, and the bed sank into the ground. Then one after another they went down into the opening. The soldier was watchin' all this, and after the last sister had went through, put on his cloak, and followed. As he went down after them, accidentally he stepped on Princess Jubilee's skirt.
"Hey!" She cried. "Who's stepping on my skirt?"
"Don't be silly." Princess Ororo said. "You have just caught it on a nail."
They went all the way down the staircase, and when they got to the bottom, they were in a nice little forest, with trees of silver. Logan thought to himself,
"I'm gonna have ta take somethin' to show the King and Queen that I was down here." And he tried to break off a leaf, but, bein' silver, it wouldn't break. So he popped his Adamantium claws and sliced the twig off. Unfortunately, Princess Jubilee heard the sounds of his claws coming out, and slicin' off the leaf.
"Hey, did you hear that?" She asked, soundin' pretty scared.
"No. What did you hear?" Princess Kitty asked her.
"It kinda sounded like a snapping sound, like someone broke off one of the silver leaves." Princess Jubilee was almost shakin' now.
Jubilee: Oh, come on! I'm not a scaredy cat!
Wolverine: It's the character. I can't change the character.
Jubilee: Aww… Okay, fine.
"It was probably a gun fired for joy because we got rid of our prince so easily." Princess Ororo said from the head of the line. Eventually they came into another little forest with trees of gold, and another with trees of diamonds. In each of these, Logan broke off a leaf using his claws. And with each of the resulting sounds, Jubilee started in terror, but 'Ro still said it was shots from a gun. As time went on they arrived at a lake, with twelve boats, each with a prince waiting for a princess.
"Bonjour, cher." The dashing Cajun Prince said when he saw his princess, Princess Rogue. The other princesses all got into the boats with their prince. Logan hitched a ride with Princess Kitty and her prince, Prince Peter. When Prince Peter started to push off, he had to push a little harder. "Why is the boat so heavy tonight?" He wondered. Princess Kitty shrugged, and Prince Peter eventually got the boat out into the water and followed the other princes to the other side of the lake. On the other side of the lake there was a big castle, all lit up like a Christmas tree. Dancin' music wafted out on the wind. When the princes landed on the other side of the lake, they all got out, moored the boats, and went in to dance.
"Do yo' wan' a drink, cher?" Prince Remy asked Princess Rogue after a few dances together.
"Ah would love a drink, sugah." She replied. He went over to the beverage table and came back with two wine glasses. He handed one to Princess Rogue, and while they were talking, a very thirsty, invisible, Logan took a drink out of the goblet the Princess was holding. When she raised it to her lips to take a drink, she discovered it was empty.
"What is this? Why is my glass empty?" She asked unhappily.
"Remy don' know, cher. It was full when I got it."
"I told you something weird was going on." Princess Jubilee said as she and her date, Prince Bobby danced by. "But no, no one ever listens to me."
"Of course we listened to you, sugah." Princess Rogue said. "But Ah never said we believed you."
Rogue: Oh, that was mean.
Bobby: Woohoo! I'm in this story!
Wolverine: Yeah, whatever. Anyway…
And so it went all night. The Princesses danced with the Princes, and Logan lurked around like only Logan can. At the end of the night, he hitched a ride back to the other side of the lake on Prince Warren's boat, who was with Princess Betsy.
"See you later, Prince Bobby." Princess Jubilee said as her Prince helped her out of their boat.
"Till tomorrow." Prince Bobby said, kissing Princess Jubilee's hand.
Jubilee: Yick!
Bobby: Eww! Gross!
Warren: Oh, come on you guys. It's what guys do.
Bobby: Really? I never have. Maybe I should do that some time.
Rogue: Remy does it all the time.
Jubilee: Hehehehehe!!!
Wolverine: Okay…
The Princesses left their respective Princes, and headed back through the forest to the staircase. Logan ran up ahead of them, threw off his cloak, flung himself down on his bed, and began to snore. When the princesses came up and heard him snoring, Princess Betsy said,
"See, Jubes, everything is okay. The Prince is here."
"Yeah, but I still think someone was following us."
Jubilee: She's one smart gel.
Bobby: 'Gel'?
Jubilee: I've been spending too much time with Jono.
Bobby: I'll say.
Wolverine: (Silently shaking head)
Betsy: Go on, Logan.
So, the princesses all got ready for bed, and went to sleep. Logan slept as well, with the leaves all wrapped up nicely in his pack. In the mornin' when they went and had breakfast, he resolved not to say anything until the three days had past. So, fer three days he said nothing about the lake under the ground, just went and watched the Princesses dancing again. On the third time down, he took a cup for evidence. When it became time to tell the King, the Royal Guard, Bishop, came for him.
"Prince Logan, His Majesty, the King requests your presence in the Throne Room."
Prince, eh? I could get used to bein' called Prince. He thought. He followed Bishop to the Throne Room with the leaves and the cup. He caught a glimpse of the youngest Princess, Jubilee, outside the door just before it was closed behind him.
"Alright." King Charles said. "Let's cut right to the chase. Where do my daughters dance every night?"
"They dance every night in a palace underground."
"Right." The King obviously did not believe him.
"I can prove it to you."
"How?"
Logan approached the throne, and brought out his souvenirs. "These are silver, gold and diamond leaves that I took from silver, gold and diamond trees in the underground forest. And this is a cup that I took from the palace."
The King took the tokens. "How did you get these without my daughters seeing you?"
Logan told him the whole tale starting with the old lady with the red hair on the road, and ending with the last time he went down. "And that's the whole story. Do ya believe me?"
The King leaned back in his throne. "Amazingly, yes. But, I am still going to ask my daughters if your story is true." He turned to his Guard. "Bishop, please collect my daughters."
The guard nodded and went to the door, and stopped short when he saw the twelve sisters standing outside the door. "They are right here, Your Majesty."
"Well, show them in."
The twelve sisters entered timidly, and stood in a line in front of the King. "Yes, father?" Princess Ororo asked politely.
"I am assuming you heard the Prince's tale about the palace underground. I would very much like to know if this is true."
The sisters looked at each other and sighed. "It's true." Princess Ororo said. "Every night we go down and dance with our princes."
"Well, Prince Logan. You have solved the mystery. You get to be King when I die." The King said. "Which of my fair daughters would you like?"
Logan looked over the assembled princesses. "I would like the oldest, seein' as how I'm not entirely young any more, but the youngest, the Princess Jubilee, is closer to my own personality. So I'll take Jubilee."
Jubilee: Oh, gross. You do know you are about a hundred years older than me?
Wolverine: Well, yeah. But Prince Logan ain't.
And so it was. 'Prince' Logan and Princess Jubilee were married that same day, and the Kingdom Excelsior was promised to Logan after the King's death. And they all lived happily ever flamin' after. The End.