A warning: this is extremely weird. It was my English homework. Be prepared for nonsense okay! Oh I would also like to give credit to Biku, I used Kerlan and the Omniverse near the end.
A Good Story Gone Seriously Wrong
By: Akisame Kage
The morning was cold and full of energy. The hustle and bustle of New York City went on around him, unaware. Unaware of what you ask? Unaware of his power, the energy that had consumed him for centuries maybe even millennia's he wasn't sure of much these days except for the stock market. It was the one thing, other than fighting that he was good at. The young man reached the steps on Wall Street and looked up at the large building. Even as good as he might be at stocks that building always seemed to have a sense of evil around it. He involuntarily shivered. Something about today was wrong. 'I'm probably just paranoid' he thought. He shrugged and entered the building and got lost in his work. It was probably around noon he wasn't sure, he lost his sense of time eons ago.
"Cage!" a voice boomed. 'Cage' turned around looked at the voice that called him.
"Johnson" 'Cage' sneered. Johnson laughed and walked up closer to 'Cage'
"What a pleasure to run into you again Jacob, how's your mother doing. What is she now about 300 years old?" Johnson said.
"My mother's fine and her age is of no concern of your. Were at the stock exchange why not talk about stocks." Jacob said as looked Johnson straight in the eye. The pair were soon in a heated discussion about the price of video game company Midway's stock price. They fought for the rest of the day and only when the stock exchange closed did they stop. Jacob sighed and left the building and started home. As he walked he remembered the story of how his mother had gained her immortality. Her and his father Johnny Cage Sr., yes the famous actor, had fought in a tournament called Mortal Kombat. They won and defeated the evil sorcerer Shang Tsuang. They had returned to the Temple of the order of light home of the Shaolin monks and Liu Kang, another one of the Kombantants to celebrate their victory. Jacob was snapped out of his train of thought when he ran into a tall man wearing long white robes and had white hair. Jacob blinked a few times and then it hit him.
"Rayden?" He asked not quite sure that he was right but then it was the year 2295 and who in their right mind would be wearing robes and have lighting flickering in his eyes.
"You are correct Jacob, I must speak with your mother. She is needed in the Omniversal Hall right now." Jacob nodded and pointed up and the top of the condo.
"She should be home." He said. Rayden said thank you and was gone in a flash of lighting before he could say another word. Jacob shook his head and went over to the small coffee shop next to his home, deciding that his mother would like to talk to Rayden alone. Jacob sat down in the corner of the store and closed his eyes remembering what his mother had said. Five minutes later he opened his eyes again and looked up at the sky. "Hey author lady, you were suppose to make me reminisce about what my mother had said." He shouted which caused the other customers of the store look at him quizzically.
"Well excuse me mister I know it all. It just so happened that at the exact moment that I decided that you should decide to reminisce I spilt my coffee and to let you know I can't do anything without some coffee around. I need the caffeine. So I went to get some more coffee then my father comes in and I forgot to take the trash out so you were just going to have to wait. Okay! Was that explanation good enough for you?" A voice shouted from above. The rest of the customers looked around in shock trying to find the source of the voice. "Go back to drinking your coffee!" the voice shouted. The customers decided it was best not to piss off the voice that was seemingly coming from no where and went back to what they were doing. Jacob closed his eyes for a second time and began to reminisce.
~ The Temple of The Order of Light, Evening 1995 ~
A shadow suddenly seemed to pass across the sun. Johnny Cage glanced up and saw with surprise that the sky, a moment ago clear and bright, was now covered with blackish-purple clouds. Lightning flashed above the Temple, and thunder crashed. Johnny looked over at Rayden, but the god seemed as surprised as everyone else did. Monks everywhere scurried for cover; they were attuned enough to know evil when they saw it.
"Bow to me!" a voice boomed, seemingly from nowhere.
Liu frowned, looking at Rayden. "What is it?"
"The Emperor," Rayden said, putting every bit of sarcasm he could muster into the grandiose title.
The top of one of the Temple towers suddenly exploded, showering masonry down onto the now-empty walk. "You weak, pathetic fools!" Shao Khan roared. "I've come for your souls!"
Rayden smiled. Lightning flashed blue in his eyes as he and the four mortals struck fighting positions. "I don't think so."
~ Back To The present ~
"Hello" Rayden said pulling Jacob out of his reminiscing.
"UGH! Why does that always happen? All I want to do is think about the story my mother told me but NO! First I get bumped into by you wanting to see my mother, then the author lady . . . Rayden are you OK?" Jacob asked the thunder god. Rayden sat there in shock with his chin hanging loosely.
"You spoke with the all mighty author" The thunder god all but whimpered. She can do whatever she pleases in her stories."
"Oh come on she can't be all THAT powerful." Jacob said laughing. Rayden blinked and shivered.
"Oh you've done it now, you've made her mad." Just as Rayden finished his sentence there was a burst of light and the author, me in all my glory appeared in the middle of the coffee shop. "Jacob Cage you doubt me? Your creator, very well you shall see my power eventually but first I shall give you a chance to redeem yourself after viewing what I have done to others. But not until I do this." The author who's name is Akisame but no one seems to know that, ran up to Rayden and stole his conical straw hat.
"HEY! That's my hat." The thunder god whined. Akisame grinned and placed the hat on her head.
"Well for the remainder of my story it's mine so shush. And now on to show Jacob my power." Akisame said as she snapped her fingers. There was another flash of light and they could plainly see Sonya Blade-Cage, Jacob's mother, running around the room.
"Johnny! Do you know where my nice shoes are? I have a meeting at the Omniversal Hall and I can't really wear sneakers can I?" Sonya sighed and sat on the bed.
"Aren't they in the closet where you threw them last night." Came a voice from outside the room.
"Oh yeah" Sonya said standing up. Sonya walked over to the closet, opened it up and screamed. Inside was a seemingly endless pit of Despair. The scene that had unfolded in front of Jacob froze and Akisame walked in front of him.
"Now to follow the shoes. For they are the one's who made me mad not Sonya." Akisame was about to snap her fingers again when Jacob stopped her.
"Oh All mighty Author Akisame, may I ask how the shoes angered you enough to be thrown into a seemingly endless pit of despair?" Jacob asked with an extreme look of seriousness on his face. Akisame raised her eyebrow but remembered that in this world seemingly endless pits of despair were greatly feared. Akisame smiled and shrugged.
"The shoe store didn't have that pair in my size." She said and snapped her fingers. When she, Rayden and Jacob reappeared they were standing in a small stone room with a small wooden door which was currently open and the poor shoes were being pulled out of the room by a Rodent of unusual size, or an R.O.U.S. for short. The trio followed the R.O.U.S out of the room and found him chewing on the shoe seeming quite content. The R.O.U.S was done with the right shoe and was almost done with the left when it noticed a dirty left sock stuffed into the end of the shoe. The R.O.U.S sniffed at it and almost keeled over right there but luckily didn't and used its front claws to pick it up and remove it from the shoe. The R.O.U.S finished the shoe, burped really loud and walked away to well *excrete* the parts of the shoes that could not be digested. A few minutes later the R.O.U.S walked back towards the trio and went back into the little stone room. Akisame walked in the direction of where the R.O.U.S had been with Rayden and Jacob close behind her. With their shirts up over their noses they found the R.O.U.S.'s feces (Akisame: Yuck! I wish I knew who came up with this one . . . wait a moment this one is mine! LOL oh well) They stood there for a few moments and were about to fall asleep when a Venus Fly trap hopped over to the lil' pile of icky stuff and ate it (Akisame: once again YUCK!) Akisame, Rayden, and Jacob followed the plant to a small meadow. The plant seemed to stretch it's self out as if it was listening for something. Seemingly it heard nothing and started to hop out into the field a little further only to get attacked by a rabid weed whacker.
"AH it's the maniacal weed whacker from hell!" Rayden said running around like an idiot. Akisame thinking that Rayden looked like he was having fun joined in. Jacob soon followed Akisame, not because he thought it looked fun but because he was feeling left out. After about 20 minutes of this they all stopped looked at each other and turned towards the field. Just as they turned to the field they saw a farmer pick up the remains of the Venus flytrap and heard him mutter something about it being good fertilizer. Our extremely weird trio followed the farmer. They soon arrived at a small garden and watched the old man place the corpse of the plant around another plant and stand up. Akisame snapped her fingers again the trio arrived in the same place as they did before only a few weeks later. They watched as the farmer picked a few carrots out of the ground where he had used the Venus flytrap as his fertilizer and walked back to a truck that was in front of the garden but in back of the apparently invisible characters of this story. Akisame snapped her fingers again and they were back in Sonya and Johnny's house.
"You see while we just spent a few weeks in the pit of despair's realm we've really only been gone about 2 minutes here on Earthrealm." Akisame said as Rayden nodded in understandment and Jacob just stood there with a stupefied look upon his face. They followed Sonya and Johnny out of the room and into the dining room where Johnny had just finished cooking breakfast. He placed a plate in front of Sonya and sat down himself; Sonya picked up her fork and plunged into the carrot. Rayden and Jacob just blinked as they realized that the carrots that Sonya were eating were the one's that were fertilized by the plant that ate the feces of an R.O.U.S. which had eaten Sonya's shoes. So in the long run idea of things Sonya's shoes were eaten by their owner all because one shoe store didn't have Akisame the author's shoe size. Akisame snapped her fingers yet again and transported them back to the coffee shop, which had been deserted. Rayden sighed and sat down.
"I told you not to make her mad Jacob." Rayden said as he looked around for a coffee. Rayden found the sugar and cream and set about to make his coffee sweet, Akisame wrinkled her nose at this and made a face to show her disgust.
"Coffee should be drunk black, cold, and strong enough to strip the paint of a car." She said sitting down across from Rayden ignoring the fact that Jacob was just standing there still pondering the fact that his mother had eaten her own shoes.
"Well my dear author we all don't have stomachs of steel you know." Rayden said with his own weird face. "I really can't comprehend how you can drink your coffee like that. But oh well." Rayden sighed and sipped his coffee. Akisame sighed in response and finally took notice of Jacob.
"I think I fried his brain with the fact that his mother ate her own shoes." Akisame said wishing she too had a cup of Java. Rayden took a big gulp of coffee and looked at Jacob.
"I think you're right." Rayden said. When he turned back to face Akisame he was met by a stream of giggles. "What?" Rayden asked raising his eyebrow.
"You have a coffee mustache." Rayden blushed and quickly wiped it away.
"You bored?" Rayden asked after a few seconds of silence.
"Yeah" Akisame responded.
"Wanna interfere with the lives of mortals?" Rayden asked grinning a very evil looking grin. Akisame returned the grin and laughed.
"Oh yeah" The pair walked past a still contemplating Jacob and out onto the street. The pair walked up to a father and daughter on the street and started whispering in their ears. (Akisame: By the way, Rayden and Akisame are invisible.) Rayden in the fathers and me in the daughters.
"Dad I'm a stripper." The girl said exactly what I told her and I grinned. Rayden whispered into the father's ear and grinned back at me. We stepped back and watched the scene unfold in front of us.
"WHAT!" the father exclaimed. "This had better be a joke young lady." The girl shook her head no and stared her father right in the eye.
"Dad it's what I wanna do!" she said.
"I don't care! I thought you were smarter than that! Can't you see that this life will lead no where!" the father was really getting pissed. The father fought to control his rage and was breathing very heavily. "I'm going over there." He pointed at a bench in the far off distance. "I'm going to go cool and when I come back we can have a civilized conversation about this all right. Now don't you leave here OK?" The girl nodded and watched her father walk away.
"Okay that was no fun," Rayden said. I nodded in agreement.
"Hey why don't we look into their souls and find out what they've done in their lifetimes." I suggested. Rayden grinned and nodded.
"Let's go," he said as he pulled me through the crowd. Rayden and I looked for about 18 minutes until we found him. Him was an older man probably about 30, his name was William Howard Ripley, but everyone called him Billy for short. Billy lost one of his front teeth when he was 12 years old due to a fishing accident with his grandfather. Billy overcame this devastating tragedy and attempted to fulfill his life long dream to join the army only to be rejected because his legs were too short. He was forced to become a nurse at the Retirement Center for Women War Veterans. Both Rayden and I returned to the coffee shop completely bummed that we couldn't find a human with an interesting life.
"This sucks!" Rayden exclaimed collapsing into a chair. I nodded in agreement and laid down in a bench near Rayden's chair.
"There is absolutely nothing to do . . . Hey I know! Let's destroy Earth and then recreate it again this time with mortals that actually have lives!" I exclaimed as I jumped up onto the table in front of Rayden. Rayden leaned back in his chair placed his hand on his chin and appeared to be deep in thought. I was about to give up hope that Rayden would back me on this idea when he suddenly jumped up onto the table.
"Sound's like a good idea to me." He said. I laughed and then noticed that the table was starting to give way.
"Oh no" I said as we went crashing down. When Rayden and I recovered we headed for the door skipping all the way. Tralalalala…
"Hey Akisame" Rayden asked as we stared at the remains of Earthrealm.
"Yeah" I asked, afraid he'd realize that he just destroyed his own home.
"Can I have my hat back?" He asked looking at me pleadingly. I grinned and took it off.
"Maybe . . . in a millennia or two." I said as I took off running with Rayden right behind me. Rayden chased me to the Omniversal Bar where I finally gave him back his hat. Kerlan, God of Communications looked up from wiping down the bar.
"Hello you two" He said as he got two glasses out. "You have fun returning Earthrealm to factory condition?" He asked. Rayden and I glanced at each other and burst out into a fit of laughter causing the other immortals in the room to turn and stare at us.
"We certainly did Kerlan were certainly did." Rayden said as he joined me on the floor as his laughing got the best of him. Kerlan sighed and went back to wiping the bar down.