"What do I do now, mistress?" Rinoa asked as she headed to try and start a new base.

"First...you must get some people to serve you...then, you will be in power..."

"But why not just get the SeeDs to follow me? Or the Galbadian soldiers?" Rinoa asked.

"ARE YOU A FOOL? You need people who serve the necessary parts for good minions! There's only one place to go for your minions..."

"HELLO, THERE, MISS! HOW MANY MINIONS WOULD YOU LIKE FROM US? EACH ONE 100% GUARANTEED...EVIL!"
"INDEED."

"Yes...I need as many stereotypical Japanese soldier-types as I can possibly get to be my minions of terror. It's the rule, right?" Rinoa asked.

"AH! CALL UP THE TROOPS! WE HAVE A HUGE JOB AHEAD!"
"INDEED."

"Okay, just to get the necessary points out of the way...Do all your minions know martial arts?" Rinoa asked.

"OF COURSE! WHAT KIND OF BUSINESS DO YOU THINK WE RUN HERE?"
"INDEED."

"Perfect...Do your minions make sure to never remark about how their nation was only a secondary enemy in the war and yet are pictured as the greatest evil ever, whereas Caucasians from the nation they were in league with are either comic buffoons or are easily able to be sent back towards the side of 'Truth, justice, and the American Way' just by an American guy asking them really nicely?"

"WE WOULD NEVER EVEN DREAM OF QUESTIONING THAT LOGIC BY THE MEDIA!"
"INDEED!"

"Well, I think that we're all set up. I'll take a normal 'EVIL SORCERESS PACKAGE': millions of nameless faces who the good guys can kill off, a few 'boss minions' who can shamelessly try to get on the good guys' side when they have obviously lost, a couple of bumbling heads...You two are cool with those, right?"

"IT WOULD BE OUR HONOR!"
"INDEED."

"...Okay, and let's see...Oh, yeah, one high-ranking officer-type who could be read as 'NOT trying desperately to kill off everyone' so that the politically correct people don't tear Alan a new asshole. That should be it..."

"THERE YOU GO. PLEASE SHOP WITH US AGAIN."
"INDEED." The two salespeople found a crew of their workers and headed off to follow Rinoa to her base.

Meanwhile, over at the Garden, Squall was beginning to get worried.

"Dammit...This doesn't look good...Rinoa's never been gone this long before," Squall lamented.

"Don't worry, man. Rinoa'd never just...leave you. She loves you too much to do that. Just like me and Sefie here..." Irvine replied.
"Damn straight, Irvy...Just give it a little time. Probably visiting her mother or something...IRVY? NOT HERE!"
"I know, man. You just need to handle this...why not just go take in a movie or something with us? You know, make it a foursome…" Zell replied.
"What? Zell's finally come out, guys..." Squall laughed.
"NO...It's just that I don't go to movies with people. I wasn't asking YOU out..." Zell replied.
"Oh, okay. Sure. Why don't we see you with girls, then?" Selphie asked.
"What? We may be SeeDs, we may be slacking now, but we're still warriors. In all good war movies, the secondary characters ONLY die if they have a love interest," Zell explained.
"Oh. Yeah. Once again, we always forget...Zell only gets his rules from the movies. Come on, love interests don't cause death. I mean, we're alive, Squall and Rinoa are alive..." Irvine replied.
"Yeah...sure, sorry, but there's no proof there. I'll just stay like this for now..." Zell said. Suddenly, a girl who they recognized as being from the library staff came over to them.
"Oh, you guys are going to movies? If Zell needs a second, I'll be happy to come...::pleaseaskmeZellpleaseaskme::" she asked.
"I'm sorry, but I cannot do it. We've both got our lives ahead of us. It'll all be better...soon..." Zell replied.
"Yeah. Okay. Well, I'll see you!" The girl left and the three continued talking.
"Well, we'd better get going! It's too late to go for the train, so we'll have to go to the one over in Balamb. You know, the one where Zell can't come?"
"Watch me. I'll be right beside you at the place. Give me a few minutes, though..."

"Well, we've got through...I think Zell's still at the ticket booth...let's just wait for him, see if it works..." Selphie said. Zell walked up to the booth.
"Okay, that's one for the show...theater 18...WAIT...aren't you Zell Dincht? We were told not to let you in..."
"NO. I am not Zell Dincht. I am professional wrestler Crash Holly. See? No tattoo like that ruffian Zell does..." Zell replied.
"Of course Zell has a tattoo! You're obviously wearing makeup over it!"
"No. This is not makeup!Besides, check my Patrick Duffy leg. It will prove I am who I say I am." Zell replied.
"CRASH DOESN'T HAVE A PATRICK DUFFY LEG! ONLY SCUZZLEBUTT DOES!" the cashier yelled.
"Yes, but that means that Zell doesn't either, so I cannot be Zell! Give me my ticket!" Zell paid for his ticket and joined the others.
"What was all of that about?" Squall asked.
"You know. Confuse the hell out of him. Now let's go." The four found their way to their seats and watched.
"AND NOW,THE NEWS OF THE DAY. Deling City was overrun today by a group of revolutionaries led by the Sorceress Rinoa today. The Sorceress, who was thought to be peacefully living with Garden, proceeded to implant herself as head of Galbadia. This is News Of the Day, paying homage to our great evil leader Sorceress Rinoa..."

"DAMMIT...we're going to have to fight again, aren't we...Squall?" Selphie asked. "Squall? Where'd he go?"
"He left after the message. He told me that I was in charge...at least until he brought Rinoa back to Garden. As my first order of duty...BOY! Go get me a soda, STAT!" Zell replied.