Title: Look For The Light
Author: Nightcrawler
Fandom: Babylon 5
Rating: R for M/M slash theme, nothing explicit
Summary: Garibaldi remembers Jeff on his birthday
Warnings: Mild M/M theme
Archive: Yes
Look For The Light by Nightcrawler
Michael Garibaldi lay in bed, awake but still. He didn't need
to hear the time to know it was almost five a.m. Like a
prisoner spending his last night before execution, he
examined his life and wondered where he had gone wrong.
Tomorrow, today really, was Jeffrey's birthday. Jeff, the
last person, maybe the only person he had ever trusted.
Jeff, who not only valued Garibaldi's opinion, but valued
Garibaldi the man as well. At least Michael had believed
that, right up until the day he left. Even now, a year later, it
was hard to deal with the hurt. Even now, when he
understood why Jeff did what he did, the pain lingered,
along with self-doubt.
"Time." He called out to the computer.
"Four fifty-eight a.m. Earth Standard time"
Garibaldi got up and showered and shaved. He stared in
the mirror at his image and felt despair wash over him. His
life had no purpose, no meaning and nobody really gave a
crap whether he lived or died. He'd be drinking again soon.
There wasn't any reason not to. In a way, that made him
sad. Once his life had been so rich, so full. Jeff had
understood him, had cared about him in a way no other
person ever had. His job had given life meaning. But Jeff
was gone, and so was his job. He could no more work for
Sheridan then he could for the Shadows.
Michael finished dressing slowly. He picked up his weapon
and stared hard at it. It would be so easy to just end all this
agony right now. Who would even care? He looked at the
weapon longingly but finally told himself, not on Jeff's
birthday. Tomorrow. He would do that tomorrow.
Leaving his room, he headed for the Zocolo. Today was
Jeff's birthday. He had promised Michael they would spend
it together. Now that wasn't possible. The Jeff Michael
knew no longer existed. The man he had become lived a
thousand years in the past. They were to have met at the
Eclipse Café. Michael would go there and keep the
tradition alive one last time.
He sat sipping the murky black liquid, remembering Jeff.
He felt a hole inside him from the pain of his leaving. No
one had ever understood him the way Jeff had. Who would
take care of him now? Who would look after him? Who
would love him with the patience and persistence of Jeff?
Lise? It hadn't taken her long to forget him, had it?
He looked down into his coffee and could see Jeff's image
as clear as day. His hands started to tremble. As he
watched the image of Jeff through the dark swirling liquid,
he heard him say, "Hello, old friend." The cup of coffee fell
from his trembling hand and spilled across the table. As
the cup hit the table and splattered, he jumped back from
the table and backed right into a Minbari he had never met.
A badly shaken Michael looked up to apologize and saw
Jeff's solemn brown eyes look back at him.
"Hello, old friend" the Minbari greeted him.
"I don't know you," Michael stated accusingly.
"I have only just arrived. Please, allow me to introduce
myself. I am TuLen."
Just being in this man's presence created a warmth in
Garibaldi he hadn't felt in a long time. The stranger
reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Do not
despair. Your friend is well and sorry he could not be with
you today. He sent me in his stead."
Michael grabbed him by the neck and pulled him close,
"Who are you talking about?" he asked heatedly.
The Minbari smiled inscrutably, and continued calmly, "He
said you will survive this and that which is to come. That
above all else, you must remember you are a survivor and
it is one of the lessons you teach the universe, how to
survive. Do not forget to look for the light."
At that moment, Garibaldi heard someone call his name
and turned briefly. No one was there. When he looked
back at the Minbari with Jeff's eyes, he was gone. He
looked for him briefly, but somehow knew he would not find
him. Looking for the light, with a smile on his face, Mister
Garibaldi walked away whistling.
The End
Author: Nightcrawler
Fandom: Babylon 5
Rating: R for M/M slash theme, nothing explicit
Summary: Garibaldi remembers Jeff on his birthday
Warnings: Mild M/M theme
Archive: Yes
Look For The Light by Nightcrawler
Michael Garibaldi lay in bed, awake but still. He didn't need
to hear the time to know it was almost five a.m. Like a
prisoner spending his last night before execution, he
examined his life and wondered where he had gone wrong.
Tomorrow, today really, was Jeffrey's birthday. Jeff, the
last person, maybe the only person he had ever trusted.
Jeff, who not only valued Garibaldi's opinion, but valued
Garibaldi the man as well. At least Michael had believed
that, right up until the day he left. Even now, a year later, it
was hard to deal with the hurt. Even now, when he
understood why Jeff did what he did, the pain lingered,
along with self-doubt.
"Time." He called out to the computer.
"Four fifty-eight a.m. Earth Standard time"
Garibaldi got up and showered and shaved. He stared in
the mirror at his image and felt despair wash over him. His
life had no purpose, no meaning and nobody really gave a
crap whether he lived or died. He'd be drinking again soon.
There wasn't any reason not to. In a way, that made him
sad. Once his life had been so rich, so full. Jeff had
understood him, had cared about him in a way no other
person ever had. His job had given life meaning. But Jeff
was gone, and so was his job. He could no more work for
Sheridan then he could for the Shadows.
Michael finished dressing slowly. He picked up his weapon
and stared hard at it. It would be so easy to just end all this
agony right now. Who would even care? He looked at the
weapon longingly but finally told himself, not on Jeff's
birthday. Tomorrow. He would do that tomorrow.
Leaving his room, he headed for the Zocolo. Today was
Jeff's birthday. He had promised Michael they would spend
it together. Now that wasn't possible. The Jeff Michael
knew no longer existed. The man he had become lived a
thousand years in the past. They were to have met at the
Eclipse Café. Michael would go there and keep the
tradition alive one last time.
He sat sipping the murky black liquid, remembering Jeff.
He felt a hole inside him from the pain of his leaving. No
one had ever understood him the way Jeff had. Who would
take care of him now? Who would look after him? Who
would love him with the patience and persistence of Jeff?
Lise? It hadn't taken her long to forget him, had it?
He looked down into his coffee and could see Jeff's image
as clear as day. His hands started to tremble. As he
watched the image of Jeff through the dark swirling liquid,
he heard him say, "Hello, old friend." The cup of coffee fell
from his trembling hand and spilled across the table. As
the cup hit the table and splattered, he jumped back from
the table and backed right into a Minbari he had never met.
A badly shaken Michael looked up to apologize and saw
Jeff's solemn brown eyes look back at him.
"Hello, old friend" the Minbari greeted him.
"I don't know you," Michael stated accusingly.
"I have only just arrived. Please, allow me to introduce
myself. I am TuLen."
Just being in this man's presence created a warmth in
Garibaldi he hadn't felt in a long time. The stranger
reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Do not
despair. Your friend is well and sorry he could not be with
you today. He sent me in his stead."
Michael grabbed him by the neck and pulled him close,
"Who are you talking about?" he asked heatedly.
The Minbari smiled inscrutably, and continued calmly, "He
said you will survive this and that which is to come. That
above all else, you must remember you are a survivor and
it is one of the lessons you teach the universe, how to
survive. Do not forget to look for the light."
At that moment, Garibaldi heard someone call his name
and turned briefly. No one was there. When he looked
back at the Minbari with Jeff's eyes, he was gone. He
looked for him briefly, but somehow knew he would not find
him. Looking for the light, with a smile on his face, Mister
Garibaldi walked away whistling.
The End