Sorry….
blah, blah, blah….
Someone
else's idea…
Yak,
yak, yak…
You
get the idea.
Disclaimer:
Being too lazy,
Look
at the ZIM Music Video
Disclaimer.
Just edit out the
Electrasy
part and there's my
ZIM
Disclaimer.
There
had been a week away from Skool, for some reason or other. As the bell rang,
all the children dragged themselves in. They moaned at the clanging bell. ZIM
was the last one in. All the kids sat down, and ZIM noticed something strange…
Every
child in the class, even Dib, had bright red skin.
"What
has happened to you stinkbeasts?" ZIM cried, his eyes narrowing and sweeping
the classroom. A few kids laughed, but most just stared.
The
kid who was sitting in front of ZIM twirled in his seat. "It's just sunburn,
geez."
Skool
had been out for Spring Break.
"Sunburn…?"
ZIM murmured. The babble that had broken out silenced as Ms. Bitters hissed for
quiet. ZIM thought about this 'sunburn' while the lesson began.
Dib,
over at his desk, stared down at his red, painful hands, and grinned at ZIM. The
alien paid no attention to him, and did not realize that Dib had thought of a
wonderful new way to torment him.
------------
In
the cafeteria, ZIM sat alone in the corner. He wasn't eating anything, for the
meal, if it could conceivably belong to the food genre, that was on the menu
today was one of the many Earth foods he was allergic to. Instead, his was
trying to think of more plans for invasion.
Dib
carried his tray over to a table that was also empty. This was the closest seat
to ZIM without sitting at the same table as him. Soon, if his calculations were
correct, the sunburned, dead skin he had would begin to peel. It, of course,
was nothing unusual… but ZIM didn't know that…
------------
Later,
as Skool ended for the day, ZIM was walking back to his house. Dib grinned and
walked home. Tomorrow, all that Florida sun would actually have had a purpose.
He could hardly wait to see ZIM's face.
------------
Unaware
of Dib's devious plot, ZIM arrived at home, took off his disguise, and went
down to his lab. He found GIR there, watching the Scary Monkey Show on the
largest screen they had.
"GIR!
Turn that…thing off!" ZIM yelled, turning the screen off himself.
"Awww…but
I wanted to watch the Scary Monkey Show!" GIR whined, but then he seemed to forget
what just happened. Rolling on the floor with his dog disguise on. Then, he
produced from his head and ate it.
ZIM
watched GIR for a moment with an expression on his face bordering between
amusement and annoyance. Turning away from the insane little robot, ZIM went
over to his computer and began working on some new plan.
After
a while of unusual silence, save the tapping of keys, ZIM heard a crash from
behind him.
"GIR!"
he shouted without preamble, and stormed off to see what the robot had done.
------------
The
next day ZIM arrived at Skool a little dirty. There were a few speckles of oil
on his face. The machine GIR had broken was quite big, and it took a long while
to fix it. It was after he fixed the machine that ZIM had allowed GIR to watch
Television all day, to keep him out of trouble.
Dib
grinned evilly as ZIM took his seat. As he had presumed, the sunburned skin was
peeling from him. The other kids obviously had too much sun and it wasn't
happening to them yet. Perfect. Recess would be fun today…
------------
ZIM
was off in his corner seat again, and Dib again sat at the nearest table
possible to ZIM. Dib waited for lunch to be over and for recess to start.
It
was a strangely cool day in the city. However, that didn't cancel recess, of
course. And as the kids emptied out for recess, Dib walked closed to ZIM and
initiated his plan. Rolling back his black trench coat sleeve, he revealed the
dead, white skin peeling from his arm.
Stumbling
around like his head was reeling, Dib made his way over ZIM. Crashing into him,
Dib smiled inwardly as he showed the peeling skin to ZIM, acting horrified.
"What…what
is that?!" ZIM shrieked, backing away from Dib.
"Agh…you
gotta to help me! My skin…it's…it's falling off! I'll be nothing but muscles, bones,
and organs! Help me, please!!" Dib wailed, while inside his head he was
relishing the horrified, disgusted expression on ZIM's face. The kids that were
playing near just moved to where they couldn't hear the two lunatics.
ZIM
backed up one more step. "I have desire to see that, Earth monkey! Keep your
disease-ridden self away from me!" The alien shuddered and moved away more. But
ZIM couldn't help but ask the moaning human a question.
"Which
of your vile diseases caused this nauseating display?" ZIM questioned, disgust
still on his face.
Dib
was sitting on the ground, acting like he was in shock from his skin. "It-it's
a horrible, deadly, rare effect of sunburn!"
Clenching
a fist, ZIM again wondered what this 'sunburn' was. "Puny human, what is this 'sunburn?'" he demanded.
"It…it's
a skin condition that's caused by being in the sun for a long time…" Dib
answered, his shrieking voice now sinking to a deathbed whisper.
"Is
this 'sunburn' contagious?" ZIM asked.
"Y-yeah…
Run… ZIM…"
ZIM
backed away and ran home. Dib stood up, fixed his trench coat sleeve, grinned,
and went back inside the Skool. Later, when Ms. Bitters asked the class were
ZIM was, Dib said that he had gone home, and that he looked pretty sick.
'Mission
accomplished,' Dib thought to himself.
------------
"Beware
GIR! The humans have booby-trapped their sun again!" ZIM yelled as he slid in
from the garbage can entrance. Throwing his disguise off, he went to his
computers.
He
began scanning his computers for all available information on sunburn and how
to counter its effects. Behind him, GIR was fixated on the Scary Monkey Show,
and had, in some rush of madness, brought the robot mom and dad to watch with
him. After about three minutes, the monitor displayed a human doctor's website.
There was a highlighted selection of words.
"Sunburn, which is caused by being in the
sun for long amounts of time, is nothing serious, unless a person stays out for
many hours, and that may result in skin cancer. To prevent sunburn, use Sun Block,
which is available at many major retailers.
"After a few days of having very sensitive
skin which has turned bright red, the dead skin will begin to peel. This is
totally painless and normal."
"ARGH!
That human and his trickery! I will have him one day… yes…" ZIM said in the
confines of his lab. His mutterings quickly turned to maniacal laughter.
