Title: Singing the Truth
Author: Okuda
E-mail address: okuda914@hotmail.com
Classification: HMR
Rating: G (there's nothing bad in here)
Summary: Post Adrift 1. Harm's written a song and sings it to Mac while she's asleep, or is she?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters and all three songs are by Lonestar on their newest CD, "Lonely Grill," though I did change a few words.
Note: Whenever the print is tilted it's someone's thoughts. Most people know that but I wanted to make sure.
Part 1/3 "Simple as That"
Restaurant
About Where Adrift Left Off
Mic had finally admitted the truth. Sarah didn't love him. She hadn't said so, but it was clear. All you had to do was look into her eyes. They were crying right now and filled with confusion and despair that can only come from losing a soul mate. Sarah loved Harm, and she always would.
Mic heaved a great sigh and turned Sarah the rest of the way around so they were face-to-face. Mic loved Sarah very much. He didn't want to do this, but this was the best thing for Sarah, and probably himself. A marriage can't be happy unless both people are hopelessly in love. She opened her mouth to say something but Mic silenced her by putting two fingers on her lips.
"Sarah," he started, "I love you, and I want you to be my wife, but you love Harm in a way that you can never love me. He's your soul mate. I hate to lose, especially to him, but I will because I love you and I want you to be happy. I'll cancel the wedding because I love you. Promise me one thing though."
Mac, realizing that there was no longer a point in denying the truth, looked up into Mic's eyes expectantly. "What?"
"Promise me you'll tell him Sarah. Promise me you'll do the one thing that will make you truly happy."
Mac stared up at him while a sad smile appeared on her lips. "I promise Mic. If I ever get him back, I'll tell him the truth."
Mic gave a sad smile also. "They'll find him Sarah. I know it. God won't take him away from you. You need him…Goodbye Sarah. I'll always love you."
Mic leaned in and gently kissed Mac's cheek. He then made his way to the door and shut it softly behind him. Mac felt her heart ache just a little more, if that was possible. She didn't want to hurt Mic, but he was right. She loved Harm more than anything, and she needed him. Please God, let him be ok, she thought as another tear slid down her cheek, I need him. Alone once more, Mac stopped trying to control the tears and began to sob helplessly.
Meanwhile in the next room over Mic was keeping his promise.
"Everyone, I hate to say this, but this chain of events has made Sarah and I do some thinking. The wedding can't go on. I'll call everyone and notify them, but I just wanted all of you to be the first people to hear it. I think this had been coming for a while."
Everyone in the room nodded their understanding and silently went back to doing what they had been. Tears slipped down Renee's cheeks and she didn't bother to try and stop them.
"She finally admitted she loved him didn't she," she said, was silent, and then started again, "You don't have to answer that. I already know. Harm loves her too. It'll be over between us. I guess both of us just lost a loved one. Come on…I'll drive you home."
Mic nodded and followed her outside. He had gotten a ride from the admiral because Chloe had wanted to ride with Mac and the car was only really made for two people. Besides, he could talk to Renee. She understood what he was going through. They got into her silver car and drove away.
Everyone in the dinning room had become very worried about Mac. She'd been in the office for a while now. Harriet looked at the group and told them that she'd go and check on her. What she found in the next room over did not surprise her. Mac was sitting on the couch and sobbing uncontrollably. Harriet's mother instincts kicked in and she rushed to Mac's side to pull her into a hug and speak reassurances in a soothing tone.
"Harriet, he can't die. I love him. I don't want our last words to have been in anger. I don't want our last words to be anything until fifty or so years from now!"
Before Harriet could respond there was a shout of joy from the dinning room.
"They've got him! He's alive!"
Mac looked at Harriet and then rushed into the next room, with Harriet close behind. Thank you. Thank you god…
"I'm going to go to the hospital. I have to see him. I want to be there for him. I'll call his mom once I'm there."
Everyone in the room understood and nodded their heads. They would follow right behind her. Mac rushed out to her car and took off. She reached the hospital in record time and instantly ran inside. She ran up to the desk.
"I'm here to see Harmon Rabb Jr., could you please tell me where he's at?"
The nurse looked at her curiously.
"Are you family?"
Mac knew she would have to be to see him, so she lied through her teeth.
"Yes."
The nurse didn't really look like she bought it but she told Mac the room just the same.
"He's in room 502. They only brought him in a little while ago and from what I could tell it was fairly serious. I think he had hypothermia."
Mac was already running down the hall. The room number was all she needed. Who cared what was wrong with Harm? He was going to get better. He had to.
Mac reached room 502 and ran in. She gasped at the sight before here. Harm looked deathly pale and Mac feared for a moment that he might be dead, but sure enough, Harm was taking deep steady breaths. She sat down beside the bed and gently took Harm's hand in her own. She would tell him she loved him later. When he was awake for one thing, and when he was better. She leaned down and tenderly placed a kiss on his forehead while welcoming him back. Then she exited the room to call his mom.
Two Weeks Later
Sometime Late at Night
Harm's Apartment
Harm slowly walked back to the living room from the kitchen with the glass of water in his hands. Mac had taken care of him ever since he woke up. He hadn't seen Brumby for the entire week, but then again Mac did have to leave the apartment occasionally, and why the hell would Brumby come to his apartment? He would know Mac was taking care of him. She also wasn't wearing the ring. Most guys at this point would celebrate the fact that she must have dumped the loser, but not Harm. In the past few months he'd become a bit of a pessimist. All he could figure was that the wedding had been postponed so he could be there, lucky me, Brumby was waiting for Mac to finish taking care of him, and Mac had removed the ring because she didn't want to upset him. He must have said something about it while he was asleep. He had talked in his sleep before. He had dreamed about stopping the wedding by professing his love for Mac. He just hoped they didn't have to talk about it. He had no idea what he'd say.
As Harm neared the couch he noticed that Mac was lying down. She had here eyes closed and was breathing fairly steadily. She must have fallen asleep while he was getting his drink. Harm leaned over her and brushed a stray piece of hair from her face. Then an idea struck him. Now was probably the perfect time to sing those songs for her. He'd promised himself he would, and this way he would keep that promise, and not get his butt kicked by this beautiful marine.
"Stay right there," he murmured with a smile on his face. She obviously wasn't going anywhere.
He returned a few moments later with his guitar in hand. He put on the strap and made sure it was tuned. Mac was usually a sound sleeper during the few hours each night she managed to get to sleep. Harm was almost positive he wouldn't wake her, but he'd play softly just to make sure.
Harm smiled down at the sleeping Mac and began to talk to her softly.
"Hey Mac. I wrote this for the wedding. It was supposed to be your present. But I figured I could give you a private performance, to make sure you like it before I sing it in public. I thought you might want to make it Mic and yours song, since you don't have one."
Harm started to play his guitar and then joined in with his voice. He had a beautiful voice.
"Got us a situation
It doesn't need an explanation
It doesn't take a scientist
To figure out just what this is
Unlike the changing seasons
Love happens without reason
It's as simple as that
Two people meet it's destiny that they're together
I knew when I met you that this would last forever
And I can promise you that I will leave you never
I'm happy right where I'm at
It's as simple as that
It's how I feel when you call my name
It's holding hands in the pouring rain
A slow dance that never ends
The sweet sound of violins
And even when we're apart
You beat around in my heart
It's as simple as that
Two people meet it's destiny that they're together
I knew when I met you that this would last forever
And I can promise you that I will leave you never
I'm happy right where I'm at
It's as simple as that
It's as simple as that
Two people meet it's destiny that they're together
I knew when I met you that this would last forever
And I can promise you that I will leave you never
I'm happy right where I'm at
It's as simple as that…
It's as simple as that"
The song ended and small tears had formed in Harm's eyes. He spoke to Mac in a whisper.
"I wrote that song a while ago. Before Brumby was even in the picture. I'm going to give that song to you and him for a wedding present. I'm going to give him the right to sing it to you while you slow dance to no music, or when you're minutes away from sleep as a lullaby, but I just wanted you to know, that at one point in time that's how I felt about us. I wrote that song about us…" Harm looked at Mac for a moment and then turned his head away.
"I was stupid, for thinking that at all, but I should have told you just the same. Maybe you would've understood. Maybe, back then anyway, you could have felt the same way, or learned to."
Harm was staring wishfully out the window so he didn't notice the fact that the "sleeping" Mac had just squeezed her eyes shut as tight as she could to stop the tears. She wanted to stay "asleep" a little longer. Maybe Harm would say it. Maybe he'd sing her another song. Maybe, a voice in her head said, maybe you're being cruel. He thinks you're asleep, and you're letting him believe it. Mac ignored the voice and struggled, thanks to her wildly beating heart, to keep her breathing steady.
Part 2/3 "Smile"
Harm turned back to the sleeping Mac and gave another sad smile.
"Ok," he started softly, "I won't torture you much more. There's only one more song. I never actually planned on singing this to you, for fear of my life, but I don't think you can kill me for it now. I really just wrote it as closure for myself. In case you wanted to know, it didn't work. Well, here goes nothing. You get to see my first performance. It's called Smile."
Once again Harm strummed an introduction before joining in with his voice.
"I still remember the night we met
You said you loved my smile
But your love for me was like a summer breeze
Oh, it lasted for a while
I could hold on a little tighter I know
But when you love someone you gotta let 'em go so
I'm gonna smile, cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can't see me cry
I'm gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I'm gonna smile
Kiss me once for the good times, baby
Kiss me twice for goodbye
You can't help how you don't feel
And it doesn't matter why
Give me a chance to bow out gracefully
'Cause that's how I want you to remember me
I'm gonna smile, cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can't see me cry
I'm gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I'm gonna smile
I'm gonna smile so you can find the courage
Laugh, so you won't see me hurtin'
I'm gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I'm gonna smile
I'm gonna smile..."
By the end of the song Harm had tears rolling down his face and was struggling to keep singing without sobs. His voice was a mere whisper by the last line. He looked down at Mac and took deep breaths to control his crying. Then he spoke.
"You did say you liked my smile you know. But you said it wouldn't work on you. I thought you might be lying."
Harm wiped some tears from his cheeks and continued.
"That was my way of letting you go. I've been trying to do what I said in there. Have I smiled enough? Could you tell I was dying inside? I hope not. You're too nice. I wouldn't want you to feel guilty for me. "
He brushed another strand of hair away from her face before continuing.
"God you're beautiful," he murmured, " You have the face of an angel, and the soul to match. You were put through so much, but yet you came out on the other side with barely a scratch. I'd never tell you this in person, but if I had to choose one person who I most admired, it would be you. You have so much strength, and so much goodness. I don't know anyone else who even begins to compare."
He smiled sadly, "Well, now for the goodbye."
He leaned over the couch and brushed his lips lightly against hers, careful not to touch her anywhere else for fear of waking her. Mac's heart rate quickened by at least forty bpm, and she felt an unfamiliar warmth spread throughout her body. Harm gently removed his lips and wiped off some of the tears running down his cheeks.
"I love you Mac...so much. I, I hope that you and Mic will be happy together. That's all I want, for you to be happy...I'm going to leave though. Please understand. I just don't think I could stay here and keep myself intact. I need to learn to stop loving you. If I ever do, maybe I'll come back, but I doubt that I'll ever stop...Ok, one kiss for good times, one for goodbye."
Harm leaned in and wiped more tears from his cheeks.
"Goodbye Mac."
His lips were almost touching Mac's when she spoke.
"Don't you dare kiss me again."
Harm leaped back from the couch and immediately began to apologize.
"Mac, I'm sorry. I just wanted to say goodbye. I didn't think you'd care, I mean, I-"
Harm was quieted at that instant by Mac's fingers on his lips. She had tears running down her cheeks and she seemed to be struggling not to sob. Harm removed her hand from his face and pulled her into his strong arms.
"I'm sorry Mac. I didn't mean to make you cry. It was nothing. We'll pretend it never happened. I didn't mean to upset you."
Mac pulled away slightly but stayed in his arms. She looked into his eyes and then ran her fingers over his face as if trying to memorize every detail. She then sunk her hands in to his dark hair and tilted his face so he was forced to look her in the eye.
"Harmon Rabb Jr., I love you too. More than anything."
For a few moments there was complete silence as her words sunk in. Then Harm tried to speak.
"But you-"
Mac interrupted. "When you were lost I began to realize how much you meant to me. Living without you seemed unimaginable. I hit me just how much I loved you. I love Mic, but only as a friend. The way I love you is unlike anything I've ever experienced, and I doubt if I'll ever be able to find it again if you leave. In fact, I know I won't be able to. You're my world. I love you Harm."
She then leaned down and gave him two quick kisses.
"What does it mean if there's three kisses?"
What was happening had finally sunk in, and Harm smiled.
"The third one's for a new beginning."
Mac smiled back.
Harm then reached up and cupped her face in his hands.
"No matter what Mac, I will always love you."
He sealed his promise with a sweet kiss, which soon escalated in to a passionate one. A mutual need for oxygen finally brought them up. Mac smiled and then cuddled up against Harm. They stayed that way for the rest of the night.
Part 3/3 "Amazed"
6 Months Later
Late Afternoon
Mac had spent the entire day with Harm and was enjoying it immensely, but he seemed kinda nervous about something. Every once in a while he would seem to be a million miles away. She was getting kind of worried about it. He had that far away look on his face right now.
"Harm," she questioned, "Is everything all right?"
Harm jerked his head back around from where he had been staring out the window to look at her. He gave her what could only be called a shy smile and lowered his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Sarah." He called her Sarah constantly now, and she loved it. "I didn't mean to leave on you there. I'm just a little nervous about something right now."
He reached over and took Mac's hand before leaning across the table to give her a light kiss. Even a kiss so light made Mac want to melt against him, and she shivered lightly. They ate in silence for a few moments until Harm spoke again.
"Are you done, Sarah?"
"Yes."
Harm stood up and started to clear the table while Mac went to the sink to start washing them. Cleaning up this way was routine for them now considering they had dinner together almost every night, and Harm had moved in with her three months ago. She loved the feel of falling asleep in his arms, and she loved waking up in them. There was nowhere else that made her feel so safe, or so loved.
Harm finished with the table and then disappeared in to the bedroom. When he came back out he was holding his guitar. Mac felt happiness well up inside her at the sight. Whenever Harm got out his guitar it meant he was going to sing to her, and listening to him had become one of her favorite activities. He had a beautiful voice, and his songs expressed all of his love for here. She still remembered the songs he had sung to her months ago, and how wonderfully they had changed her life. Harm gave her a quick smile and then swung the guitar strap over his shoulder so he could carry it more easily.
"Do you mind if we go to the park?" he questioned.
She smiled at him and put the last dish away.
"Of course not, but only if you sing to me."
Harm gave her a small smile.
"As soon as we get there."
They walked to the park holding hands and it took them about 15 minutes to get there. Harm led her over to a bench and motioned for her to sit down. She obeyed his silent request and then looked up at him expectantly. Harm looked really nervous now. He flashed her a brief smile and then began to strum his guitar. His voice joined in shortly after.
"Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you
The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me, baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time every time
I wanna spent the whole night in your eyes
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you
Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Oh, every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you."
Harm ended the song and wiped away the tears that had slowly begun to run down Mac's face.
"I love you more than anything in the world, Sarah. You're everything to me."
Harm set the guitar on the bench and lowered himself to one knee. Mac gasped and prayed to god that this was going where she thought it was.
"Every night we go to sleep, and I'm allowed to take you into my arms and hold you. I realize when I hold you, just how lost I would be if you ever left. I can't live without you in my life, and I pray that you feel the same way. Sometimes," he lowered his eyes to the ground, "I think this is all just a wonderful dream, and then you take my hand, and I know that I finally have the one thing that can truly make me happy. I want you by my side for the rest of my life." He looked back up at her, and took a blue, velvet box out of his pocket. He opened it to reveal a delicate gold engagement ring. "Will you marry me?"
Tears streamed down Mac's face and Harm silently prayed that they were tears of happiness. What if she said no? All doubts were pushed from his mind as Mac tugged his face towards hers and gave him a passionate kiss.
"Of course I'll marry you Harm. I love you."
Harm gave her an amazing smile and slipped the ring on her finger. They kissed again but were broken apart by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Harm turned his head and let his eyes widen at the sight that greeted him. No more than ten feet away stood Bud, Harriet, AJ, and AJ.
"It's about time," Harriet said quietly and Harm and Mac grinned. Life couldn't be better.
The admiral walked over, gave Harm a pat on the back, and then spoke to him.
"We'll have to have a talk in the office Monday, but off the record, I'm glad you finally got your head out of you six Harm."
He then put a hand on Mac shoulder as well.
"Don't worry too much about being split up..." he gave them a smile, "Admiral's privilege."
Harm and Mac smiled back. Bud, Harriet, AJ, and AJ left and they stared into each other's eyes. This was the way life was supposed to be. Whatever the future held, they would face it. Together, there was nothing they couldn't do.
"I love you, Sarah."
"I love you too, Harm."
They kiss one more time, and then make their way home.
I know it's kinda corny, but I just couldn't help myself. I got the Lonestar cd a little while ago, and I had to use the songs in a fanfic. I hope it wasn't too bad. Please review, and tell me what I can improve on. Thanks.