*I own none of these characters
~*The Sally Show*~
Sally~Welcome to the Sally Jesse Show
**Audience Applaudes**
Sally~ As a part of our Troubled Teen series, today we will be visited by a Troubled Teen, who is training to become a knight
**Audience Applaudes**
Sally~ Our guest comes from the palace in Corus, the capitol of Tortall. Let's welcome.... Joren of Stone Mountain!
**Audience Applaudes**
::Joren walks out::
Sally~ Welcome Joren
Joren~ Thank you, Lady Sally
Audience~ Awwwwww how cute!
Sally~ Now Joren, what seems to be troubling you?
Joren~ Well, your ladyship, It all began when Lord Wyldon, who is the training master at the palace, let Kelandry of Mindelan be a probationer at the palace for a year. If she passed the probationary year, then she would get to continue to train for a knight.
Sally~ I see. So, Joren, tell us what happened
Joren~ I didn't feel that a "girl" should train with us. Girls are fragile and weaker than men.
**Women in audience murmur angrily**
Joren~ I mean, only some of them are. Women are still as good as men
::crosses fingers behind his back::
Sally~ Please go on Joren
Joren~ Thank you ma'am. Well the older pages have a tradition. We always "haze" the new pages, so that they "earn their keep." We usually make them run errands.
Sally~ Now Joren? Who exactly hazed them?
Joren~ Garvey of Runnerspring, Zahir ibn Alhaz, Vinson of Genlith and me. Oh, I almost forgot, Cleon of Kennan too. He wasn't that bad though and he stopped because he became friends with the girl.
Sally~ I see
Joren~ We wanted her to leave so badly! It wasn't easy for the girl. The only friend she had was her sponser, Nealan of Queenscove. We were really rough on the other, smaller pages. Soon she started to walk the halls in the evening to make sure we weren't hurting them. She would brawl with Garvey, Zahir, Vinson, and me. She wasn't really a match for us though::Once again crosses fingers behind back:: it all stopped when her friends, yes she finally made friends, walked with her.
Sally~ Now who exactly are her friends?
Joren~ Nealan, Kleon, Esmond of Nicoline, Faleron of King's Reach, Merric of Hollyrose, and Prince Roald of Conte
Sally~ Those were all her friends?
Joren~ No ma'am. Later came Owen of Jesslaw, Warric of Mandash, and Iden of Vikison. They were all cousins.
Sally~ So she's always had at least one friend?
Joren~ Yes, she's always had a friend. Now she has quite a few
Sally~ Joren, would you say that, at times, she is more popular than you?
Joren~ ::sadly nods::
Sally~ now honey, is this the problem?
Joren~ Yes, most of it. Nobody understands me!
Sally~ Now Joren? Have you ever been jealous of Kelandry?
Joren~ Yeah, I mean even though she isn't the most attractive girl, she is really smart and is a good student. She trained in the Yamani Islands. All the guys like her, some in a way other than friendly. A woman has never liked me in that way.
Sally~ When you say other than friendly, what do you mean?
Joren~ You know, love? romance?
Sally~ Who, Joren?
Joren~ I know that Kel and Cleon are a couple and I've seen the way Neal looks at her. After all, he was her sponser and her first friend.
**Audiance murmurs**
Sally~ Let's meet these squires. Come on out!
**Out walks Owen, Kel, Neal, Cleon, Roald, Faleron, Esmond, Iden, Warric, and** **Merric**
::They all glare at Joren::
Sally~ Welcome to the show
All~ Thank you Sally
Sally~ Now Kelandry, I take it that you and Cleon are a couple. Am I right?
::Cleon and Kel look and eachother and blush furiously::
Kel~ Thanks for blurting it ouy to the whole world, Joren!
Sally~ I think I know that answer
**Audience laughs**
Sally~ Anyway, we are here today to talk about Joren, who happens to be a Troubled Teen. W-
Owen~ A Troubled Teen?! It's more like him troubling teens! With him hazing us, we didn't have a very Jolly time!
Sally~ Now as I was saying, we are here to help him. Now Joren, how do you feel about Kelandry and Cleon?
Joren~ I feel, ::blinks back tears and sniffs:: I feel, so unloved! ::bursts into tears::
Neal~ Oh give it a rest! You hate us all and just want to make us miserable. Leave Kel alone!
Joren~ I have something to say ::wipes streaming eyes:: I LOVE KELANDRY OF MINDELAN!
Cleon~ ::Puts a protective arm around Kel::
Kel~ Joren I hate YOU! You made me miserable as a page and tried to get rid of me!
Joren~ ::Bursts into tears again:: Wahhhhhhhhh! I want my mama!
Neal~ ::Rushes to Kel:: I love you too, beautiful one!
Kel~ I love you too! But my heart belongs to Cleon! ::Put's a hand to her forhead:: Alas! What is a poor maiden to do?
Neal~ ::Kisses Kel::
Cleon~ ::Lunges and knocks Neal out::
Joren~ ::Wails like a baby::
Roald~ ::Starts performing a striptease for the women in the audience
**Ladies cheer and place money in his thong**
Faleron, Merric and Esmond sit there, lost in the confusion
::Three hot maidens walk up to them::
Hot maidens, in unison~ Wanna make out?!
The three guys pull the girls onto their laps and they make out
Cleon and Kel~ ::Snuggle closer::
Joren~ I just wanna be loved!!!!
**Biker dude in the audience stands up**
Biker~ I'll love you man!
Joren~ OK! ::Runs to the edge of the stage, jumps into biker's arms and bats eyes flirtasiously::
**Biker and Joren leave**
Neal~ ::Snores and sucks thumb:: Mama. Mama.
Owen~ ::Skips around the stage laughing merrily:: Jolly! Jolly! Jolly!
Cleon~ ::Jumps up and reaches into his pocket. Drops to one knee:: Kel, will you marry me?
Kel~ Of course Cleon! Let's get the party started!
::Cleon and Kel strip and run naked across the stage. Soon everyone is naked, except Iden, Warric, and Sally and are running out the door to the streets of Corus::
Iden to Warric~ Gods! This place is more of a mad house than Jesslaw
Warric~ Tell me about it!
Sally~ Well that's our quite unusual show. Thank you is you're still watching and join me tomorrow for Mages Gone Bad!!!
**Theme music**
~*The Sally Show*~
Sally~Welcome to the Sally Jesse Show
**Audience Applaudes**
Sally~ As a part of our Troubled Teen series, today we will be visited by a Troubled Teen, who is training to become a knight
**Audience Applaudes**
Sally~ Our guest comes from the palace in Corus, the capitol of Tortall. Let's welcome.... Joren of Stone Mountain!
**Audience Applaudes**
::Joren walks out::
Sally~ Welcome Joren
Joren~ Thank you, Lady Sally
Audience~ Awwwwww how cute!
Sally~ Now Joren, what seems to be troubling you?
Joren~ Well, your ladyship, It all began when Lord Wyldon, who is the training master at the palace, let Kelandry of Mindelan be a probationer at the palace for a year. If she passed the probationary year, then she would get to continue to train for a knight.
Sally~ I see. So, Joren, tell us what happened
Joren~ I didn't feel that a "girl" should train with us. Girls are fragile and weaker than men.
**Women in audience murmur angrily**
Joren~ I mean, only some of them are. Women are still as good as men
::crosses fingers behind his back::
Sally~ Please go on Joren
Joren~ Thank you ma'am. Well the older pages have a tradition. We always "haze" the new pages, so that they "earn their keep." We usually make them run errands.
Sally~ Now Joren? Who exactly hazed them?
Joren~ Garvey of Runnerspring, Zahir ibn Alhaz, Vinson of Genlith and me. Oh, I almost forgot, Cleon of Kennan too. He wasn't that bad though and he stopped because he became friends with the girl.
Sally~ I see
Joren~ We wanted her to leave so badly! It wasn't easy for the girl. The only friend she had was her sponser, Nealan of Queenscove. We were really rough on the other, smaller pages. Soon she started to walk the halls in the evening to make sure we weren't hurting them. She would brawl with Garvey, Zahir, Vinson, and me. She wasn't really a match for us though::Once again crosses fingers behind back:: it all stopped when her friends, yes she finally made friends, walked with her.
Sally~ Now who exactly are her friends?
Joren~ Nealan, Kleon, Esmond of Nicoline, Faleron of King's Reach, Merric of Hollyrose, and Prince Roald of Conte
Sally~ Those were all her friends?
Joren~ No ma'am. Later came Owen of Jesslaw, Warric of Mandash, and Iden of Vikison. They were all cousins.
Sally~ So she's always had at least one friend?
Joren~ Yes, she's always had a friend. Now she has quite a few
Sally~ Joren, would you say that, at times, she is more popular than you?
Joren~ ::sadly nods::
Sally~ now honey, is this the problem?
Joren~ Yes, most of it. Nobody understands me!
Sally~ Now Joren? Have you ever been jealous of Kelandry?
Joren~ Yeah, I mean even though she isn't the most attractive girl, she is really smart and is a good student. She trained in the Yamani Islands. All the guys like her, some in a way other than friendly. A woman has never liked me in that way.
Sally~ When you say other than friendly, what do you mean?
Joren~ You know, love? romance?
Sally~ Who, Joren?
Joren~ I know that Kel and Cleon are a couple and I've seen the way Neal looks at her. After all, he was her sponser and her first friend.
**Audiance murmurs**
Sally~ Let's meet these squires. Come on out!
**Out walks Owen, Kel, Neal, Cleon, Roald, Faleron, Esmond, Iden, Warric, and** **Merric**
::They all glare at Joren::
Sally~ Welcome to the show
All~ Thank you Sally
Sally~ Now Kelandry, I take it that you and Cleon are a couple. Am I right?
::Cleon and Kel look and eachother and blush furiously::
Kel~ Thanks for blurting it ouy to the whole world, Joren!
Sally~ I think I know that answer
**Audience laughs**
Sally~ Anyway, we are here today to talk about Joren, who happens to be a Troubled Teen. W-
Owen~ A Troubled Teen?! It's more like him troubling teens! With him hazing us, we didn't have a very Jolly time!
Sally~ Now as I was saying, we are here to help him. Now Joren, how do you feel about Kelandry and Cleon?
Joren~ I feel, ::blinks back tears and sniffs:: I feel, so unloved! ::bursts into tears::
Neal~ Oh give it a rest! You hate us all and just want to make us miserable. Leave Kel alone!
Joren~ I have something to say ::wipes streaming eyes:: I LOVE KELANDRY OF MINDELAN!
Cleon~ ::Puts a protective arm around Kel::
Kel~ Joren I hate YOU! You made me miserable as a page and tried to get rid of me!
Joren~ ::Bursts into tears again:: Wahhhhhhhhh! I want my mama!
Neal~ ::Rushes to Kel:: I love you too, beautiful one!
Kel~ I love you too! But my heart belongs to Cleon! ::Put's a hand to her forhead:: Alas! What is a poor maiden to do?
Neal~ ::Kisses Kel::
Cleon~ ::Lunges and knocks Neal out::
Joren~ ::Wails like a baby::
Roald~ ::Starts performing a striptease for the women in the audience
**Ladies cheer and place money in his thong**
Faleron, Merric and Esmond sit there, lost in the confusion
::Three hot maidens walk up to them::
Hot maidens, in unison~ Wanna make out?!
The three guys pull the girls onto their laps and they make out
Cleon and Kel~ ::Snuggle closer::
Joren~ I just wanna be loved!!!!
**Biker dude in the audience stands up**
Biker~ I'll love you man!
Joren~ OK! ::Runs to the edge of the stage, jumps into biker's arms and bats eyes flirtasiously::
**Biker and Joren leave**
Neal~ ::Snores and sucks thumb:: Mama. Mama.
Owen~ ::Skips around the stage laughing merrily:: Jolly! Jolly! Jolly!
Cleon~ ::Jumps up and reaches into his pocket. Drops to one knee:: Kel, will you marry me?
Kel~ Of course Cleon! Let's get the party started!
::Cleon and Kel strip and run naked across the stage. Soon everyone is naked, except Iden, Warric, and Sally and are running out the door to the streets of Corus::
Iden to Warric~ Gods! This place is more of a mad house than Jesslaw
Warric~ Tell me about it!
Sally~ Well that's our quite unusual show. Thank you is you're still watching and join me tomorrow for Mages Gone Bad!!!
**Theme music**