Deceptions of Truth Saga
By: Strata-chan
Note: Well, here's the second chapter. Remember that the characters in this fic have had their personalities altered for my purposes. Also, if you do like fics that portray certain existences in a morbid type of sense, then I suggest not reading this work. *smiles* I love writing drama fics. Well, that came from out of nowhere. Also, I apologize for the formatting mistakes in the last chapter. It seems that the .doc document was a garbled a little bit when I converted it to .html format. ^_^*
Another Note: This fic used to be called, "Where Do I Belong", but the title was bugging me because of its dull nature. Also, it just didn't suit the plot line anymore.
***
"And the bruises that you feel will heal,And I hope you'll come around,
We're missing you.
You used to speak so easy,
Now, you're afraid to talk to me.
It's like walking with the wounded,
Carrying that weight way to far,
The concrete pulled you down so hard,
Out there when you're wounded."
Lyrics from "Wounded" by Third Eye Blind
***
Well, now you know the current Koushiro Izumi. The wreck of a great man, who everyone used to rely on and is now lonely, forgotten and depressed. He lives in a life of false accusations and lies that he has created with his own negativity. It is like a cloud has shrouded the once bright light that shone in that young man's eyes. His once bright red hair has turned a dingy brown due to a lack of care. He walks from place to place, hoping that one of the kindly citizens will take him in. No one knows who he is, and no one cares. People walk by him everyday and can only think about how "grungy" and "ugly" he is and how he's "an eyesore of the community." He's been pushed and shoved and told to surrender his money or pay the price. His ankle has been partially lame ever since that one incident down by the market. These people don't notice the turmoil and pain in his eyes every time he is beaten or forced from town to town. Why should they? It isn't like a homeless boy is going to change the fate of their lives…
***
'Why am I still here? I've been sitting here for days doing nothing. No one is going to take me in. I should just move on to the next city of….' Koushiro stopped his mental monologue in order to look at the map that he had…..acquired from someone. 'Let's see here…Nichinan. Yeah, Nichinan. I've heard that the people there are quite kind, but then again, does anything work out for me?' Koushiro questioned as he stood up from his place on the street. He picked up the pan that he had been using to collect petty change from kindly citizens, making sure to not step on his injured ankle too hard.
Koushiro had gotten used to the fact that people rejected him and it didn't sting his soul anymore. He felt that his soul had deserted him long ago and that having a kindly essence would only lead to more pain and suffering later on. In a sense, he was right. People take advantage of kindness and use it only to their advantage, not thinking about what type of anguish the other party is experiencing. Exploitation was a way of life for Koushiro before he went to the Digital World. It was always "do my homework or else" or "hand over your lunch money before I pound you into the ground". One would take a look at his life and assume that this child didn't experience one truly happy moment in his life.
Limping along the road, Koushiro decided to stop and gaze at the setting sun. He found a nearby bench and set his aching body upon it. 'Taking a rest won't hurt anything,' Koushiro thought as he relaxed his tense muscles and set his ankle on a nearby rock. The sun's rays had turned lovely shades of orange and crimson, against the sapphire of the oceanic waters and the azure and raven sky. It was like a painting done by Monet. 'I always did love Monet's work. Too bad I can't enjoy it any longer,' Koushiro thought as the previous peaceful look on his face faded.
"Why can't this turmoil just leave me alone for one damn second? Am I not allowed to enjoy any beauty," Koushiro screamed into the fading sunset. The last streaks of sunlight slowly slipped below the horizon as Koushiro watched. The nightly stars began to appear immediately afterwards and one in particular shone brightly. 'Hmm…that must be Venus. Oh! There's Mars and Jupiter and Mercury and…they're all in conjunction with the moon? How rare. Oh well. It isn't like they are going to change the future or anything,' Koushiro concluded as he left the bench to continue walking.
He strolled several kilometers until he reached a fork in the road. 'Should I go left or right? I hate my life! It's always decision after decision! I can't take much more of this! Can't Fate just give me a clear path to follow,' Koushiro mentally complained as he examined both paths. 'Choice A looks shorter, but Path B looks safer….oh hell! I'll just take the shorter way. Things can't get much worse, can they?' Koushiro thought as he headed for the road that was to the left.
As Koushiro paced down the road, he discovered that it ended with an alley. 'Just my luck my luck to run into a dark, dank, narrow…reeking…enclosed…'Koushiro's thoughts paused as he realized that he was just scaring himself with all of those descriptive adjectives and decided to just move on without thinking about it. Halfway through, Koushiro heard something crash behind him, with hollers of laughter occurring afterwards. He spun around to face the direction where the sound came from and also let his curiosity take over.
Koushiro walked up to a deviation in the straightness of the alley and discovered several people laughing at a person, who seemed to be trapped within a trash can. Koushiro took a closer look from where he was positioned and realized that the thing in the bin wasn't a person. It was a stray dog. The people that surrounded the area guffawed with glee at their actions and looked for another target. Koushiro's thoughts now concentrated on rescuing the innocent animal, but keeping out of sight was a high priority as well. He slowly slipped his head back behind the wall and slumped down against it.
'How am I going to do this? Those contemptuous juveniles will catch me if I go now, but if I don't leave right now, who knows what will happen to the dog. Oi…too many decisions! I can't do it! I'm not strong or reliable enough to do this,' Koushiro thought as he grabbed his hair in frustration. He was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to realize that the gang had decided to move out and was now headed in his direction.
"Well well well. What do we have here? A little homeless shit-ball that is on our turf," said the leader of the pack as he leaned against the wall Koushiro was sitting against. Koushiro, who was now frightened out of his mind, looked up at his offenders and swallowed the scream he was about to release. The dominator then bent down to Koushiro's level and grabbed they boy's chin. "Where's your mommy, little boy? Don't ya have a mommy?," he said with painful sarcasm present in his voice.
'Oh my gods…I'm dead. I'm seriously dead. This is the end…why am I not as scared as I should be? Maybe I just don't care anymore,' Koushiro thought as tears came out of his eyes. 'No. I'm not going to give in that easily! I don't care about myself but the dog needs me! I can't let an innocent creature die because of my incompetence! Not ever again!' He rose from the spot that he sat in to greet the features of the advancing hooligans with bravery. He eyed them in order to find a weak point in their defenses and to plan the shortest route to the dog.
'There! That's my chance!' Koushiro leapt from his place and dashed to the left of the gang. He charged right past the smallest of the group, who looked dumbfounded at the speed Koushiro was moving at. 'I did it! Yeah!' He leaped for joy as he reached the trash can, opened it and removed the dog from the can. He placed the battered animal within his arms and began to dash down the byway. 'Now, all I have to do is run straight down this alley and I'll be out of here in a…oh shit.' Koushiro's hopes dropped as he reached a dead end. Koushiro slapped himself on the forehead. 'Damn my senses! I knew that the alley was too dark to be an open one, but did I listen to myself? How could I have been so idiotic! I'm sorry little guy,' Koushiro turned his attention to the unconscious dog in his arms. 'I failed you. Just like I failed everyone else. Now, you'll die because of me. Just like my families.' Koushiro's eyes filled with tears as he tried to hide the dog as best as he could. He found several trash bags that were perfect for the job and placed it beneath them. Then, he stood up as straight as he could to meet his fate like a man. 'Maybe if I provide enough of a distraction, they'll forget about the dog and not kill it. I hope.'
"Hey, you little punk," the leader said as he advanced on Koushiro. "No one makes a fool of the Hishinka gang and lives to tell about it. I mean NO ONE." Koushiro stood his ground and gave the gang the strongest look that he could muster. They were just waiting for him to crack, but Koushiro would not do so. "Don't you want any last wishes before I kill you, kid?" Koushiro just continued to stare at them. One of the members then told the rest of the group that he was a mute and that he didn't know how to talk. "Hey, kid? You a mute? Ha! You must be retarded then. Retards are the best prey."
Koushiro couldn't hold his temper back any longer. "Well, try this on for size! I bet your inadequate mass of protoplasm isn't capable of understanding a word I am pronouncing, am I not correct?" Koushiro's eyes flared with anger as he gazed upon the group and changed his stance.
"Oh…so you want to fight, eh kid? Fine then. Get 'em!" They charged on Koushiro with the force of a pack of Bison. He fought back with all of his might, but he was no match for the strength of the group. Once he was on the ground, Koushiro made no further attempt to escape. Closing his eyes, he tried to accept his fate and justify his death.
'I've hated this world so much along with myself. This'll just be a release from my anguish. I have nothing to fear from this. No one will even miss me or…' Koushiro's thoughts became jumbled as he felt himself hit something hard. 'The wall. I never…knew they could b…be so hard,' Koushiro thought through the haze of pain that spread throughout his body. He cracked one eye open and saw that he was lying on the ground, soaking wet, and saw that the entire gang was starting to crowd around him. One of them kicked him in the face, very hard. Koushiro wanted to move his hands up to protect his face, but he couldn't move. Two of the members had come up from behind him and grabbed his arms and legs in order to make it easy for the rest to pummel their victim. Then, another blow came to his forehead and then another to his left temple. The pain worsened and Koushiro's muscles began to relax. That's when everything went black.
***
The night continued on and left by the time some movement came out of the boy. Koushiro cracked his eyes open as he came back to consciousness, but closed them again as a wave of immense pain washed over him. 'Why didn't they kill me? Am I cursed with luck or something? Why couldn't they just release me from all this damned suffering. Now, I have to live with another death on my hands. I'm a monster once again,' Koushiro thought as he slowly drifted back into unconsciousness.
***
Koushiro awoke to darkness. The coldness surrounded him and his body had ceased the natural process of shivering while he was unconscious. That's when he noticed that there was another form resting next to him, trying to keep him warm. Koushiro weakly opened his left eye and moved his head just enough to see what kind soul was doing this act. 'The dog…it didn't die. I…have to live fo…for it.' All of his energy spent, Koushiro's eyes closed once again and he rested with a renewed sense of purpose in life.
In the morning, Koushiro awoke to a slick sensation all over his face. Koushiro cracked open his left eye once again to discover that his new companion had been licking his wounds in an effort to care for them. 'That's not possible. It was probably just after the blood.' Koushiro tried to get himself off of the damp ground, but his attempt failed. 'Damn those people. Now, how am I going to get to Nichinan in this state? I killed my ankle by running through the alley and now I'm probably going to be down for a few days like this. What am I going to eat? I can't let anyone take me to the hospital. I'll be discovered and taken to a foster home, or to jail. Who am I kidding? One year and I'll be free anyway. What was my birthday? I can't remember it, not that it was of great importance anyway. Who really cares that much about me anyway,' Koushiro thought as the dog continued to lick his face. He noticed that it was no longer licking his wounds, but on an uninjured patch of his face. 'Wha..? Is this creature trying to tell me something? Does he want to be…to be my friend,' Koushiro asked as the playful licks continued to come.
'A friend. After all these years, someone wants to be my friend! A true friend who won't beat on me if I don't do their homework of provide funds for their spending sprees.' A smile appeared on Koushiro's face as his opened his eyes fully for the first time in the past two days. A person looking at the boy would have probably seen a rarely seen spark of life pass through his eyes as the dog continued to lap at his face. It was like it was urging him to get up and move on. 'I can do it. Someone loves me!' Koushiro lifted his body from the ground with great effort and sat up as straight as he could. The strain was great though since Koushiro was panting heavily after the effort was completed.
"Hey, little guy." He reached out a hand to pet the dog upon the head, but it backed away in fear. Koushiro was hurt a little by this retreat, but he soon realized the poor thing's fear of human touch. "I'm not going to harm you. I appreciate what you did for me and I wish to repay you." Koushiro raised one arm towards the dog, but it still backed away. Koushiro's arm began to shake with weakness and it dropped after giving everything it had. The dog then came closer once again, seeing that Koushiro was no treat to him. Koushiro's eyes lit up with joy as the dog came close enough for him to reach. He used his other arm to reach up and brush the dog's fur with his fingers and could feel the warmth that was underneath.
'Warmth. He must have great warmth because his heart is large enough to extend to such a person as myself. It feels so wonderful.' The dog backed away again, but not in fear. It came back and placed his head under Koushiro's arm and tried to lift him from the ground.
"You want me to get up, huh? I'll try, but I can't give you any guarantees." The dog just stared at him and Koushiro could have sworn that he saw a tear form in each eye. That stare was a look of compassion that he had never seen before. At least with such intensity anyway. Koushiro struggled to move, but it was so hard to do so. His first attempt failed miserably. One leg moved, but the other remained limp and bent in a strange direction. "I hope that leg isn't broken, little guy." Koushiro turned his eyes to the animal. "If it is, we're not going anywhere until I bandage it in some way or another. Then, I have to find some crutches too."
Koushiro tried once again to get up and this time he was partially successful. He only achieved the movement of his lame leg, but he had to manually move it into a proper position. "I'll try one more time, okay?" His friend walked over to where Koushiro sat, placed his entire body underneath his supporting arm and prepared to lift the ailing boy. Koushiro's eyes began to fill with tears as he saw this act occur. 'He truly cares about me.' Koushiro suddenly found the strength to stand and allowed to dog to help him do so. Once he was standing, the dog moved away and started to leap and bark for joy. It was like the end of the world had been prevented by Koushiro's feat for this lost puppy.
"I'm wanted. I'm finally needed. After all of these years…It's truly unbelievable, you know? I guess we're just two peas in a pod. No one wants, cares or needs our presence, so who needs them? We'll just stick together for as long as possible and forget our troubles. We'll move from city to city as vagabonds. We're going to make it little guy! We can do it!" Koushiro said the last few lines with enthusiasm that he hadn't used in years. The dog's ears perked up and Koushiro saw that it could understand every word he said. It began to leap about once again and tugged as Koushiro's bloodied and ripped pant-leg in an effort to tell his new master how eager he was to leave.
"All right then! Let's move on outta here." Koushiro slowly began to walk, but realized that his right leg was hurting immensely. 'Damn. It must be broken.' Koushiro thought as he looked at the dog ahead of him. 'I can't show him this. Maybe I'll bandage it tonight when he's asleep. That's when I'll make some makeshift crutches as well. Those survival classes sure have helped me,' thought Koushiro as he started to feel for the fracture point in his leg. The dog looked upon his master with worry as he traced back to him and gave Koushiro a look that was asking what was wrong with his leg.
"I'm just a little sore. Nothing to worry about." Koushiro found the fracture point and accidentally poked at it a little too hard, causing that leg to give out. As he collapsed to the ground, he wanted to cry out in pain, but he didn't want to scare his only friend on this earth away. Koushiro stood up again, but he bit his lip while doing so. The dog looked like he knew what was going on and gave his master's leg a worried glance. 'It's truly amazing that this dog can see everything that I'm feeling. I can't hide anything from him. He's better than some people I know," Koushiro thought with animosity as he remembered all the times in the Digital World that he was ignored and teased by the other Digidestined. Remembering the times his "parents" didn't understand him. The times that they ignored his feelings. Those times…were no longer in this time.
'I can't live in the past any longer. What is brooding about my former life going to do to help my future? I'm no longer going to make mistakes that just enforce what my father's spirit said all those years ago.' Koushiro bent down to the dog's face and placed a hand underneath its chin. "I promise that I'll always protect you. If it means giving my life, then I'll do it. You'll always have me around, if you promise to always be by my side as well." Koushiro pulled his hand away straightened his back. "Now you need a name. How about Kaida? Does that suffice?" The dog's eyes sparkled with pleasure as that name was mentioned and barked in an attempt to respond. "You like it? Kaida it is then." Kaida then turned around and began to walk away at a speed the Koushiro could not keep up with. He struggled to move faster, but it just wasn't possible. That's when he felt a sharp pain lance all the way up his leg. 'Wait! Don't leave me here alone! I…I can't be left alone! Not again. Please wait for me. Kaida,' Koushiro cried mentally to his companion.
Kaida seemingly heard this mental cry and stopped walking. Turning his head around, he saw Koushiro attempting to move his leg at a faster pace, but was unsuccessful. Kaida then saw him lower himself to the ground and try to push his limb back into place, but was having a laborious time doing so. Knowing that his master needed assistance, he walked over to Koushiro and placed a paw on his ailing leg. Koushiro cried out in pain as Kaida's full weight pressed against the fracture and pushed it into place. Once he was finish, Kaida gave Koushiro a look that apologized for giving him so much agony and suffering. Koushiro's vision was swimming due to the experience he had just been through and he tried hard not to pass out as he spoke.
"Thank you, Kaida," he said as he bowed his head in respect to the dog. "I am truly lucky to have you as a companion, my friend." Kaida then walked over to Koushiro and licked his face once again. "All right. All right. I'm getting up now." He tried to exalt himself from the ground, but he just couldn't do so without bending his injured leg somehow. Kaida stared at Koushiro for a moment and suddenly left him where he sat.
"Wait! Where are you going? Don't leave me here!" Koushiro's eyes began to fill with grief as he watched his companion move down the alley. 'He's leaving me. Just like everyone else. I knew it was too good to be true. How could I let my kindness out again? Now, I've only hurt myself even more. Blasted feelings. Why did they have to be created in the first place? All they cause are grief and suffering.' Koushiro began to sob uncontrollably and buried his head within his arms so no one could hear his cries.
A few hours later, Koushiro had run of energy to cry. He laid his aching body onto the ground and stared at the darkening sky. 'Humph. That's what I get for trusting someone.' He stared intently at the clouds for many moments and watched the wind play its games with them. One cloud caught his interest though. It looked like some type of sleek, winged animal with a flaming mane of silk and a hide as white as a pearl. As soon as it came, the wind blew it away. 'Get a grip, Koushiro. You're starting to see things.' Then, another passed by and Koushiro sighed with depression. 'That one looks like…like…damn it. I can't remember whom.' Before his memory could return, the cloud that looked like Jyou Kido blew away, never to be viewed again.
As the sun set below the horizon, Koushiro began to get tired, but due to his hunger pains, he could not sleep. 'Hunger. What a horrible feeling it is. Always nagging at you for something that you cannot give it. It's like a child asking for a toy that the parent cannot afford.' Koushiro sighed as he stared at the stars. 'The Milky Way always gave me comfort before, but now, it seems so distant. How could something so distant give me comfort now? Everything is just so distant.' Koushiro closed his eyes in another attempt to sleep and he was actually successful.
***
"Murderer. Assassin. Aloof. Cold. Traitor. Deserter. Uncaring. Incompetent."Koushiro sighed in depression as he realized that by releasing his abilities to trust and to love, he had also unlocked the ability to dream. "What do you want?" His tone of voice sounded exasperated and downright bored with the same subliminal programming being repeated several times over.
"I want you to die. I must see you die in order to rest in peace."
"I already know you are not my father. He would never be this cruel, even if I DID cause his death."
"Oh, but I am. I am." San Izumi's spirit then appeared to face Koushiro. He then changed his form to an unfamiliar one. One that seemed familiar in some way…"Do you not recognize me? I'm hurt. For that, you must perish. I'll finally be able to return to the Earth after 15 years of unrest. 15 damned years I have been stuck in this place because of you and your unwillingness to die. You should have died in that crash!"
Koushiro gasped in horror as he realized that was the form of his REAL father. He ran his hands through his hair and collapsed onto his knees in remembrance. He remembered the stick shift, the smoke, the fire, and everything else. 'No. I didn't kill you! I was just a child! A child! I didn't know what I was doing! I didn't know…I…didn't…' Koushiro didn't even realize that his "father" was advancing towards him with the intent of killing him.
"Now you will die!" Koushiro gasped in horror as he saw the spirit pull out two katana blades and wield them with expert precision. "This is for all the years of unrest you have caused me!" He advanced on the helpless Koushiro while whirling the double katanas through the air. Koushiro looked up from the floor, only to find a katana pointed directly into his face. "Meet your fate like a man and get up."
Koushiro just stared at his father with the most hateful look he could muster in his current state. "Then I die like a child, since I wish to remain on the floor. I do not have to obey your commands." Koushiro saw a flash of red appear in his father's eyes as he drew back the sword for a moment. It then returned with a vengeance as it created a giant gash that ran all the way down the left side of Koushiro's face. Koushiro cried out in pain as he pressed his hands against the wound in an effort to stop the flow of his blood.
"I was going to give you a painless death, but your defiance has prevented me from allowing that to happen. Now, get up!"
"Never," Koushiro retorted as he spat blood onto one of his father's katana blades in a last-ditch effort to be defiant. "You'll be doing me a favor, father. I have WANTED to die for such a long time, but every effort that was executed has failed. I have been deserted so many times that I do not know how to trust or love anymore. It hurts too much. I've been forgotten and I'm not wanted anywhere. So please, do kill me," Koushiro said as he smirked at his father.
"You fool!" The blade was drawn back in preparation and Koushiro closed his eyes as he waited for the blow to come. He waited…and waited…and waited, but now blow was received. Koushiro slowly opened his eyes to see that the cloud-creature that he had seen earlier had pinned his father to the floor. Koushiro was perplexed as to what this creature was, where it came from and why had it saved him. His thoughts were interrupted as the creature turned around to look at him. Its eyes were a sapphire blue and they looked as calm as an ocean when they gazed upon the inquisitive boy.
'Why is this creature looking at me like that? It seems so…familiar. Why can't I remember!? What is happening to me?' Koushiro threw his head back in frustration as his hands grabbed his hair and pulled.
"The longer you stay here, the more you forget. Can you even remember the Digital World at all," his father stated from beneath the winged creature.
'The Digital World. The Digital World. That term seems so familiar. What does it mean? The Digital World. What is that?' Koushiro pondered about it for several moments and them cried out in frustration. "I don't know! I can't…I can't remember!"
"Precisely my point." The spirit then threw the creature from his form and watched as it slammed into the ground. "Weakling."
Koushiro gasped as he saw his savior skid across the floor and remain still. 'No!' He began to run towards the creature, but was stopped by a very hard blow to the back of the head. Koushiro's vision began to grow limited and blurry as he looked upon the figure of his father one last time before passing out.
***
"No…don't…" Koushiro mumbled as he slept. As Koushiro tossed about in his sleep, a lone figure strolled up to him. It held several pieces of wrapping and sticks. It also dragged a couple of crutches as well. It laid these items beside Koushiro and then lied down beside him.
"Noooo!!" Koushiro woke up in a cold sweat and panting heavily. His hand immediately went up to the left side of his face. 'Good, there's nothing there.' He placed his hand down upon the ground, only to find something furry in his hand's path. He allowed his eyes to adjust to the darkness and then examined what the obstruction was.
"Oh my…Kaida! You came back!" Koushiro then looked beside the dog and discovered what he had brought for him. Noticing that Kaida was still asleep, Koushiro decided that he shouldn't wake him because of his joy. 'You are the greatest. Now, what is the Digital World? I remember that term being used in my memory somewhere, but it's like a distorted satellite signal. I can't lose my intelligence! This can't be happening.' Just then, the left side of Koushiro's face began to hurt intensely, which caused his hands to go directly to that place. 'What's happening to me? What is this feeling?' Beads of sweat began to form on his face as some type of deformation started to materialize underneath his hands. Koushiro closed his eyes and concentrated on other things besides the pain, but his plan to diminish the agony didn't work. As the pain worsened, Koushiro laid his head back down on the concrete and fell into a deep slumber.
"That worked perfectly," a figure from the shadows stated. "I'll be rid of him yet. I'll use his fears, doubts and depression to initiate his own self-destruction and I can finally be at peace in a new form." The shadow then dissipated into the darkness, leaving Koushiro to sleep peacefully for one last night.
***
*sighs* Again, this fic used to be called, "Where Do I Belong", but yadda yadda yadda. Please review this story and tell me what you think. I put a lot of work into this thing and whether your opinions are good or bad, I'd love to hear them. ^_^