Deceptions of Truth Saga
By: Strata-chan
Sorry about the deletion of the previous chapter. While reading it, I discovered that an entire paragraph had been cut from the document, so I had to delete it. Then, Fanfiction.net was being mean and not letting me upload it over again. It seems to do that all the time to me. I mean, these files ARE in HTML format, but can the upload feature read it correctly? Of course not. Anyway, please review this story. ^-^
Note: This story used to be called, "Where Do I Belong", but I changed the title. Please review this story for me and I'll be quite happy. ^_^
***
When I can't brave the fight,
When I can't sleep through the lonely night,
I turn to you.
Like a flower leaning towards the sun.
I turn to you, 'cause you're the only one,
Who cares to turn me around,
When I'm upside-down,
I turn to you…oooo.
When my mind's racked with anxiety,
You have a touch that will quiet me.
You lift my spirits, you melt the ice.
When I need inspiration and I need advice,
I turn to you….
Like a flower leaning towards the sun.
I turn to you, 'cause you're the only one,
That can turn me around, when I'm upside down.
I turn to you!
When fear tells me to turn around.
I turn to you, 'cause you're the only one.
Who can tell me who I am,
And who can understand.
I turn to you…
Lyrics from "Songs from N.Y.C Underground 3" by Louie Devito (Also dedicated to my mother, Jade Star and Tyria Darklighter.)
***
Koushiro woke the next day to a throbbing pain on the left side of his face. Groaning in discomfort, Koushiro rolled over to discover that Kaida was still asleep at his side. He slowly stroked the dog's fur and was comforted by the warmth that Kaida's fur emitted. Slowly turning his head around, he noticed that a puddle was nearby to him. 'I guess I could wash all the blood off of my face now.' Koushiro concluded as he felt the dry sensation on his face. When he reached the puddle, he took a good look at his reflection. 'There's something seriously wrong here,' Koushiro mused as he dragged himself even closer. One he had a clear view of himself, Koushiro noticed that the left side of his now bore a long scar that ran all the way down his face and that it covered some of the scabs on his face. 'How did that get there,' Koushiro questioned. 'What did I do last night to cause that? How did that heal so quickly?' He rubbed the scar and then pulled away from the tender skin. 'Am I now cursed to losing my memory? Accursed Fate. I don't want to forget so much that I forget that I am Koushiro…Koushiro…umm…what's my last name? This can't be happening to me! Am I now a retarded nothing on top of being a cold-blooded murderer? What? How come I can remember those words from all those years ago and all the awful memories that go along with them, but none of the benevolent ones?' Koushiro bent his head back over the puddle of water and brushed his hand along the scar again. 'This scar…everything must be coming back t haunt me. I guess it's my fate…my karma.' Koushiro pulled away from the water dragged himself back over to Kaida. 'Well, I guess I have to live with myself and get this leg bandaged. There's no time to sit around and mope.'
Koushiro grabbed the supplies that had somehow managed to get there. 'I wonder who brought these,' he mused as he grabbed some of the splints for his leg. 'This is going to hurt…' Koushiro then pushed the splints onto his leg and he noticeably grimaced at the pain that followed. He fought the urge to cry out and reached over to grab some of the medical tape. Koushiro carefully wrapped the tape around his injured leg and made sure that the splints were the strongest around the fracture point. 'There. All finished. Now we can get going…'
As Koushiro was in the midst of his thoughts, he heard something stir in the background. Startled, Koushiro did his best turn around in order to see his offender, but wasn't too successful. 'Great. Now my mind is creating illusions to just frighten me.' He turned back around and dipped his hands in the cool liquid and brought some up to his face. That's when another sound occurred.
"Who's out there? Show yourself!" Nothing. 'I'm going crazy or something. I wouldn't blame myself for doing that. It's the easy way out of all this since even death doesn't seem so wonderful anymore.' Once again, Koushiro heard another sound coming from behind him. This time, he turned around very slowly. To his surprise, it was Kaida making all the racket. "How sweet. The little guy's dreaming. I wonder what about. Probably about being surrounded by several females and being hand-fed by several masters I bet.' Koushiro sighed at the thought. 'I wish I could provide that for him. It just seems so cruel that he has to suffer along with me..'
Koushiro suddenly doubled over in pain as he thought those words. 'My body…what's it doing to me? Just like it to…give out at a time li..like this..Ahhh!!' The pain suddenly became more intense and Koushiro's hands ruffled through his hair in an attempt to stop his agony. He started to shake his head in disbelief as he felt like his mind was being ripped apart. Now sprawled on the ground, tears once again formed in Koushiro's eyes. Then, as soon as the pain started, it stopped. Koushiro looked around in confusion as sat on the cold concrete.
"Where am I? Where was I going?" Koushiro inquired as he struggled to stand. "Why can't I remember!? I can remember the Hishinkas and everything about that, so why can't I remember where I am or where I was going? WHY?" Koushiro threw his head towards the sky once again in hopes of seeing the blue sky, since he remembered how much it used to comfort him in times of need, but all he saw were ominous clouds instead. 'It must be showing what's inside of me. Darkness and hazy memories of the past. Oh, why can't I remember the good things?'
"WHY," Koushiro screamed at the gray sky.
"Shut up," someone yelled from the building above him. "I'm trying to get some sleep here, you bum!"
Koushiro's shoulders sagged at the last word. It repeated over and over again in his head. Bum…bum…bum…bum…'No! I'm not a bum! I'm Koushiro, the computer genius! I'm not a bum. I CAN'T be a bum…' Koushiro began to weep once again as he tried to remember where he lived and what he had done before living on the street. He struggled to regain some of his memory, but it never came. 'I am a bum. I just can't remember anything else, so I must be nothing more than a bum. What proof do I have that I'm a computer genius? I haven't touched one of those things ever since I can remember. How can I know..' Koushiro pondered as he struggled along the alley. 'I guess this is my destiny.' Koushiro stopped hobbling down the alley and held his arms out towards an empty box.
While pulling it out, Koushiro heard someone approaching him from behind. He looked up from his task and took a glance in the direction of the sound. 'Kaida?' "What are you doing here? Why don't you go find a better home? I can't provide what you need." Kaida still approached him and that's when Koushiro noticed that he had a pair of crutches in his mouth. Koushiro had a look of confusion on his face when he saw the dog place them right beside his feet.
"Why are you being so kind to me? I didn't do anything that great to save your life. In fact, you might have been better off if I had never come. You would have been free from having to worry about a partially lame bum for the rest of your life. Those guys probably would have left you alone anyway," Koushiro sighed. "You should just move on without me." He looked at the dog with a forlorn sense of sadness and sighed once again as he saw that the dog seemingly did not understand. "Go on! Get outta here! Get!" Koushiro yelled as he used his hand to push Kaida backwards. Kaida looked at Koushiro with a look of great despair and confusion as this was done.
"Can't you understand? Leave!" Kaida finally decided that Koushiro meant business and slowly walked away with his tail between his legs. He turned around and gave one last glance to his master before turning around the corner. Koushiro's gaze stared at the point where he last saw his companion and he felt a giant knot in stomach begin to form. 'Again, I'm back to the good old aloof Koushiro.' He looked down at the pavement and then looked back at the place where Kaida had looked back at him. He thought that he saw Kaida's eyes staring at him once again from that very point, but it was just a trick of his mind. He would have given anything to have Kaida come running back around that corner and jump all over him, but Koushiro realized that he was really gone this time. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he forced himself to get up.
"He really left me. He'll be better off anyway," Koushiro mumbled as he grabbed the crutches that Kaida had brought. "Who wouldn't want such an intelligent dog?" Koushiro used placed the crutches beneath his arms and made his way out of the alleyway. As soon as he reached the streets, it began to rain very heavily. People were scuttling to get out of the rain, but Koushiro just stood in place, letting the rain drench him. Streams of iron brown blood and dirt started to be washed away as he stood in place. 'The rain feels so good. It's almost like it's trying to wash away my evil deeds and purify my soul. Sort of like the way Kaida did when we first met.' Koushiro remembered how the dog had tried to tend his wounds and how he always urged him to get up and never give in to his fears and doubts. 'Well, there's nothing stopping them now.'
"Hey mister!" Koushiro felt a small tug at his pant-leg and looked down to see a little girl of about 6 years in age there. "Mister? Do you want my umbrella? You're gonna get soaked if you don't take it." Koushiro didn't say a word and looked away from the girl. "Aren't you going to go home? It's getting really wet out here, you know." Koushiro once again looked at the girl. 'Her eyes look so innocent. If she could only understand.' He looked away once again.
"Hey! Mister! Can't you talk?" Koushiro once again looked at the girl.
"I can speak, but I hardly ever have a soul to talk to. You are the first person in years to speak to me without ridiculing my appearance or beating on me for some reason." Koushiro sighed as he placed the crutches on the ground and bent down to the girl at the best of his ability. "You are so young and innocent. What you doing out here? Where's your mother and father, little one?"
"They're inside the store and why do people do that?"
"Do what?"
"You know. What you just said. Beating up on you and ri…rido…ridicol…"
"Ridicule. That word means to tease and nag in a mean way. I really don't know why. People just think that everyone should all be the same and if one has a disability or lives a different type of life, that person has to be a bad influence on the others." Koushiro noticed the girl's confused look. "Let's use an example. You know the little nerdy kid in your class at school that everyone hates?" The girl nodded her head in comprehension. "Well, everyone constantly teases him, or her, because he, or she, is different from everyone else. Do you see what I mean?"
"That's just horrible! You're so nice. Why do people do such bad things?"
"It's just their nature to do so. There are many scientific explanations for this behavior, but you'll learn about those later." Koushiro reached out his arm and gave the girl a soft noogie-like pat. "Come on. I'll take you to your parents. They're probably worried about you." Koushiro smiled at the little girl while he grabbed his crutches and stood up. The girl smiled back and Koushiro placed a hand on the girl's upper back for a second and helped her go in the door.
When they were inside, Koushiro winced. 'There are so many people. This is just begging for trouble, but I made a promise to this little child.' He looked back down at the girl and she looked back at him with a huge grin. As they walked down the main aisle, the girl looked back up at Koushiro. "I like your hair. Red is my favorite color." Koushiro was surprised at this comment, since his hair hadn't been red in years. He swung himself over to one of the shinier shelves and examined his hair. 'It's really red again! My beloved hair.' Koushiro ran his hands through his hair and would have jumped for joy if he didn't have to stay on his crutches.
The little girl then walked over to Koushiro and wondered what was so interesting. "Hasn't your hair always been red?"
Koushiro laughed. "Well, you see, I haven't been able to take a decent shower in years and that caused a whole bunch of dirt to build up in my hair. It has been a grungy brownish color for about…2 years now." Koushiro laughed again as he combed his hair through his fingers.
"That sounds really nasty."
"Oh, believe me. I didn't enjoy it. Hey…umm…would you like a piggyback ride? I go really fast on these things," Koushiro said as he held up the crutches.
"Yipee! A piggy back ride," yelled the girl as Koushiro bent down so she could get on.
"Make sure to hold on tight because I can't hold you," Koushiro said as he began to move. The girl giggled with delight as Koushiro went around the store. "Having fun yet?"
"Faster! Faster!"
"Okay!" Koushiro tried his best to go as fast as he could for the child since he enjoyed giving other people pleasure for once instead of pain and destruction. "Here we go!" Koushiro quickly passed other people and when he did, he heard several people start to laugh at their foolish antics, but Koushiro didn't care. That's when Koushiro went into the same isle as the girl's mother. The girl stopped laughing as she saw her mother and told Koushiro to stop. The little girl told Koushiro to go over to her mother so he could meet her. He didn't like the idea, but he still obeyed anyway.
"Oh Raye, I was so worried about you." The girl's mother looked at her child and then at Koushiro, who still bore the child on his back. Her eyes widened in panic as she backed away from Koushiro. "Raye! Get off of him! What did I tell you about talking to strangers?" Raye refused to get off of Koushiro, and that's when her mother started to get really angry and started to advance on the duo.
'She's going to do something that I'm going to regret soon if Raye doesn't get off.' "Uh, Raye? I think you should listen to your mother and get off of my back."
"Why?" Before Koushiro had a chance to respond, he girl had been removed from his back and he had been hit in the head with an extremely heavy purse. The next thing he knew, Koushiro was on the floor and the little girl was crying for her mother to stop.
"Help! Child molester! Somebody help!" She continued to hit Koushiro with her purse as he tried to protect himself with his arms. He reached for his crutches, but they were out of range. 'I'm helpless! Again, this is what I get for being kind.'
"Mommy! Stop! He didn't do anything!"
"Yes he did, sweetie. He took you away from the cart!" By this time, several people were watching what was going on.
"No he didn't! I walked outside and he was just standing on the curb. I asked him if he wanted to take my umbrella, since he was getting all wet and stuff. Then, he told me about how people have hurt him for no reason and everything. He's the one who took me back inside!"
"But, he was trying to take you away from me…"
"No he wasn't! I asked him for a piggyback ride and he gave it to me! Stop being so mean to him. Please mommy?" The girl's mother stopped her barrage on Koushiro and her look of anger was replaced with an apologetic one. Koushiro, who was now sobbing from beneath his arms, looked up at the woman who had been attacking him and slowly backed away in fear.
"Please! Don't hurt me anymore! I'll go away and you'll never see me again! I swear that! Just don't hit me anymore, please," Koushiro frantically said as he covered himself with one of his arms while using the other one to get his crutches.
Noticing what she had done, Raye's mother walked up to Koushiro and pried his arm away from his face. She saw the fear in his eyes and how he flinched every time she touched him. "I'm so sorry, young man. I shouldn't have been so hasty at my assumptions." The woman pulled away from Koushiro and went back to Raye and walked off. Just like Kaida had, Raye gave Koushiro one last look and the disappeared. Koushiro shed a single tear and then turned to notice that everyone was watching him.
"What? Are all of you here to ridicule the poor homeless kid too? Go ahead! See if I care," Koushiro yelled as he began to shed more tears. He picked himself up from the floor and hobbled around to his get his crutches. As soon as he had them under his arms, he took off as fast as he could. 'I have to get away from here! Away from all these people who don't understand me,' Koushiro screamed mentally as he swung out the door. It was raining really heavily now, but Koushiro didn't care. He just wanted to be alone. 'When you are alone, no one can tease you or try to kill you,' Koushiro concluded as he set himself down on a nearby bench. 'I bet I could just die on the bench here and no one would notice until I was starting to decay.'
As Koushiro's depression grew, so did a small pain within his chest. Soon, Koushiro was panting heavily while sitting on the bench, grabbing his chest tightly. 'What's happening to me? I must be dying,' Koushiro said as the burning sensation in his heart center became stronger. When Koushiro thought that he was going to perish because of the pain, it suddenly stopped. His hand dropped from his chest and hung limply at his side while his eyes were closed tightly. His sweat and the raindrops merged into one and fell down Koushiro's face in beautiful streams of crystalline sadness.
The rain was now coming down in torrents and Koushiro was soaked to the bone. 'I have to get up. What good would I do if I died right now? Then again, what good would I do if I died later? Oh hell, I might as well get up. I have nothing to lose. At least I'll get to see all of Japan before I go,' Koushiro reasoned with himself as he forced himself off of the bench. It was then that someone grabbed him from behind and pulled him into a darkened alley.
"Gimme everythang ya got an ya or I'll slit ya throat like a knife through buttah." A blade was then pressed against Koushiro's throat and he grimaced at it causes a small cut to appear on a part of his throat.
"I…I don't have any mo…money."
"Yeah ya do. Everyone here has some type ah money on 'em." The knife was pushed even closer to Koushiro's throat. He looked down at the blade and he gulped as he looked back up.
"I'm telling you that I don't possess anything in the slightest relation to money."
"Quit lyin', punk. Give me ya money!"
"I don't have any!" Koushiro then kicked his offender in his private and tried to get away. As he picking up the crutch he had dropped, the collapsing man's knife blade cut through part of Koushiro's side. He grimaced in pain as it struck, but he kept going on. 'This is not good,' he thought as he raced back towards the store. He was getting slower and slower as he reached the door and the man who attacked him was gaining ground. 'He'll kill me if he catches me,' Koushiro frantically has he reached for the door handle. He never got the chance to open it though for the man grabbed him from behind and stabbed him in the back. Koushiro's eyes opened wide as he fell to the ground.
'I'm dying. I'm finally dying…and I'm scared to death. I'm scared…I don't want to die yet. I don't want to!' Koushiro's eyes slowly closed as he fell into unconsciousness and he felt that he would never see the light of day again. That's when something appeared out of nowhere and attacked Koushiro's attacker with a vengeance. 'What's…what's going on..' Koushiro thought weakly as he realized that his deathblow was not coming. That's when he felt a slick tongue pass over his face. 'Kaida? You…came..back..' Those were his last thoughts before everything shut down in his mind.
***
Inside the store, Raye and her mother were just finishing going through the checkout line and were preparing to leave the store.
"Did you get everything you wanted, dear?"
"Yes, mommy," Raye said with depression present in her voice. That's when she noticed something strange was lying right outside of the door. "Mommy, what's that?"
Raye's mother looked up from her purse and took a look as well. "I don't know, sweetie. It's probably someone's trash or something," she said as she went back to sorting through her purse.
"Well, I'm gonna to take a look for myself," Raye said as she walked through the automatic doors. She gasped when she saw that it was a person lying on the ground…and that the person had red hair and crutches. She ran outside and started to shake Koushiro, but all she received was a crack of his eyelids and a couple of words before he fell back into unconsciousness. Raye picked up her hands and saw that they were covered in some type of red substance. She also noticed that there was a dog lying right next to the man and that there was also a knife nearby. She got up and ran back inside to her mother, screaming for her the entire way. "Mommy! Mommy! That one guy is lying outside! There's all this red stuff around him too." Raye showed her hands to her mother, but she wasn't looking. "Mommy! Listen to me! You have to go outside and see! Come on!" Raye pulled at her mother's sleeve and stained her mother's shirt with some of Koushiro's blood.
"Now, wait a second honey. I have to find something first…what's that on your hands?"
"I told you! It came from the guy that was lying outside of the door!"
"You're kidding me, right? You know that joking is not good to do on these types of things. I've told that several…"
"I'm not kidding, mommy! Go look for yourself." Raye's mother put down her purse and cautiously walked towards the door. When it opened, she gasped in horror at Koushiro, who was now lying in a pool of own blood and barely breathing. "Oh my gods! Somebody call an ambulance," she screamed as she ran down the store's exit corridor and to the cashier area. "Somebody call an ambulance! There's a guy lying outside and it looks like he was stabbed in the back!"
***
"Murderer. Liar. Traitor. Deserter. Molester. Coward. Victim. My my Koushiro. This list just keeps getting bigger, now doesn't it?" The statement received no response. "Oh, so is the big strong man too weak to answer me?"
Koushiro forced his eyes to open a crack and he looked up at his father, who was standing over him. "Can't you let me die in peace? You're finally getting what you wanted, so just leave me alone," Koushiro retorted weakly as he closed his eyes again, but he opened them again when he felt a foot turning him over. His backside hit the ground hard enough to cause Koushiro's back-wound to cause him immense pain. 'I can't cry out. Not in front of him. It'll show my weakness and he'll truly win. I can't let him win,' Koushiro vowed as he fully opened his eyes. Koushiro suddenly found the strength to stand and face his father."Well well. Did you finally decide to wake up?"
"Back…off…" Koushiro panted as he tried to stand straight up. "I…refuse…to…to die like…a helpless…child."
"Oh, believe me. If I wanted you dead right now, you would be. I'm still playing with you. Fooling with your mind is a great way to pass the time for me and you think I'm going to stop so soon? I enjoy your suffering."
"You…pig! How…could anyone…enjoy…some…something like that? It's inhumane!" Koushiro struggled to stay standing after that last outburst, which caused him to sway from side to side. His one leg then gave out and Koushiro slammed into the floor.
"Why should I tell you if you won't remember a thing I tell you a few seconds?" Then, everything went black for Koushiro.
***
"Doctor Kido, please report to the intensive care unit. Doctor Kido, please report to intensive care." Koushiro looked around the room he was in. 'White. Everything's so white. Where am I? What happened? Where's Kaida?' Koushiro tried to move his hands so he could take off the mask that had been placed on his face, but his body refused to cooperate. 'Why can't I move?' He then felt that there was some type of injury on his back. 'Oh no! I must be at the hospital! They're going to put me in jail after this,' Koushiro thought as he struggled to move.
Meanwhile, Dr. Jyou Kido walked down the hallway towards his next patient's room. Once there, he read the medical forms that were in the little door-box and his eyes widened in disbelief. 'No…it can't be him! Can it?' Jyou put down the medical forms and cracked the door open to take a peek inside before entering. The first thing he noticed was the flaming red hair. 'My gods….it IS him.' He also noticed that his "dead" friend's eyes were frantically darting around the room. 'Wow. After going through all that, he is already awake? Amazing,' Jyou mused as he entered the room.
"Well, Koushiro. Long time no see! How are you doing buddy?" He walked over to Koushiro and removed the oxygen mask from his friend's face.
"Who are you? Where am I?" Koushiro had a look of pure confusion on his face.
"What do you mean 'who am I'? Don't tell me that you don't remember anything about our adventures together."
"What adventures? All I remember is living on the streets and everyone hating me for what I was. I even hate myself."
Jyou's expression was growing grim as he began to realize that Koushiro was serious. "What's your last name?"
"I…I don't remember. I've had no need for it, so I guess I just lost it."
Jyou's eyes began to water as he lifted Koushiro enough to hug him. "I don't care if you don't remember anything about what happened before you left. I'm just glad that you're back! Everyone has missed your computer antics and your wonderful laugh…we…we all thought someone came into your house and murdered you and your mother. I never….never gave up on you. I always thought you were out there…somewhere. I'm…I'm so sorry for not finding you sooner!" Jyou then started to sob into Koushiro's shoulder.
'I must have known this guy from somewhere important for him to be crying this much. I'd comfort him, but I can't move.' "Umm…could you let me go?"
Jyou wiped his nose and placed Koushiro back onto the bed. "I'm sorry about that. You have no clue how much we missed you…"
"No one missed me. I'm just a worthless, cold-hearted bum who is responsible for the deaths of two sets of parents," Koushiro sighed as he turned his head to look out the window.
"What?!"
***
Note: Again, this fic used to be called, "Where Do I Belong", but I got sick of that name really fast. This new one is more appropriate anyway.