Deceptions of Truth Saga
By: Strata-chan
Again, this fic contains Shounen Ai (male/male romance), so please, don't flame me about it. Other than that, I don't have much else to say besides that this fic used to be called, "Where Do I Belong". Boy, these things are getting old.
***
I spent a day down by the river, it was quiet and the wind stood still.I spent some time with nature to remind me of all that's real.
It's funny how silence speaks sometimes when you're all alone,
And remember that you feel…
Again, I stand against the Faceless Man.
Now, I saw a face on the water, it looked humble and willing to fight.
I saw the will of a warrior, his yoke is easy and His burden is light.
He looked me right in the eyes.
Direct and concise to remind me to always do what's right.
Again, I stand against the Faceless Man.
'Cause if the face inside can't see the light I know, I'll have to walk alone.
And if I walk alone to the other side I know, I might not make it home…
Lyrics from "Faceless Man: by Creed
***
"Koushiro? Umm…Koushiro," Jyou asked as he looked at the boy, who was still laughing on the floor. "It wasn't that funny, Koushiro. I've stopped laughing, see?" Jyou pointed to his face as he looked at the redhead, who slowly stopped giggling. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. I guess I'm okay. I can't remember the last time I've laughed that hard." Koushiro gave Yamato and Jyou a small smile and then looked away. On the outside, Koushiro looked joyful and without worry, but on the inside, he was crying out for someone to hear him. 'If only they knew how I really feel. I'm so ashamed of what I've done. Laughing is just a cover for my true feelings. I don't deserve to look in the eyes of these wonderful people. I'll just jinx them. I don't want them to know what I truly feel. This…emptiness, shame, depression and….guilt. I don't want anyone to know…'
"Koushiro? Earth to Koushiro," Yamato stated as he looked at the blank look in Koushiro's eyes. "Houston, we have a problem." Yamato looked at Jyou while making some crackling sounds in order to imitate a NASA radio signal. He was hoping to get at least a chuckle out of Jyou, but he didn't seem to get through since Jyou only stood up and began to get lost in his thoughts. Yamato then looked back at Koushiro and decided to take some action.
"Hello? Anyone home?" Yamato waved a hand in front of Koushiro's eyes, which caused him to snap out of his trance.
"Wha…? Oh, hi….ummm…what was your name again?"
Yamato heard a sigh come from Jyou. "Koushiro, my name is Yamato." He then pointed to the figure against the wall. "His is Jyou."
Koushiro sighed and looked Yamato in the eyes. "I'm sorry. I just….I really don't know why this is happening. It's like I can know something one second and then it's gone the next. I guess I just have too much on my mind." Koushiro stood up and walked over to the bed, where he sat down and slumped over. 'Why am I forgetting things so quickly? WHY,' he screamed out mentally as he ran his hands through his hair.
Jyou left the wall, walked over to Koushiro and grabbed his hands and squeezed. "Look, it's not your fault. I'm sure that everything will be fine. I'm here for you, remember? I…I…" Jyou trailed off. "I…just CAN'T let you be alone anymore. You'll never be alone again, and I'll do everything I can to help your memory come back." Jyou backed away a little bit and watched as Koushiro's head lifted up.
'I wish I could truly believe you, but what can you do?' Koushiro thought as he looked upon Jyou's face. He looked at Jyou's hands and grabbed one of them. "Oh my Gods! What happened to your hands? They look like they were put a shredding machine." Koushiro ran his fingers over the several cuts that laced over Jyou's hands and then looked at the stains on his hospital gown. "It's because of me that you got these, isn't it?"
Jyou pulled his hands away and hid them behind his back. "It's nothing! Really! I mean," Jyou cleared his throat and stood up. "When I left earlier, I accidentally knocked over some medical equipment. Some of it was sharp enough to cut my hands," Jyou lied. 'I hope he buys that.'
'I guess I shouldn't delve deeper into this situation.' "Okay. If you say so.." Koushiro stopped as he saw some sudden movement from behind Jyou. His eyes widened in disbelief as he quickly got up and stumbled over to the door. He saw several figures chasing after something down the corridor. 'I wonder….' Koushiro left the room.
"Koushiro! Come back! You're not supposed to leave the room!" Jyou shouted as he rushed after him. 'Actually, he wasn't even supposed to leave the bed, you moron.' Jyou scolded himself as he raced after Koushiro, who was now clear down the hallway. Koushiro suddenly stopped in his tracks and he kneeled down to greet something. Jyou stopped his fast approach and slowly walked over to the spot where Koushiro sat.
"Awww…hey Kaida. How did you get in here," Koushiro softly spoke as he hugged the matted dog.
"Look! It's over here and it's attacking one of the patients," someone yelled as he signaled for the other person who had a loop of wire within her hands. Jyou looked at the duo on the floor in front of him.
'I can't let those morons break this up. I've got to think of something quickly.' Jyou urgently thought as he stepped between Koushiro and their offenders. That's when he felt the loop that he saw earlier wrap around him.
"You idiot! Don't you know what the word, "aim", means? Oh, hello Dr. Jyou. Umm….sorry about this," the male of the two spoke as he slowly lifted the wire loop from Jyou's shoulders. "My companion here is just incompetent."
Jyou looked up and into the eyes of the man. "It's not her that is incompetent. It's you!" Jyou placed a finger on the man's chest. "Can't you see that you are interrupting a therapy session? If you had any medical background, you would realize that animals have relaxing effects. Do you even watch the news?" Jyou slowly pushed against the man's chest and he backed away.
"That dog is a stray though. He just walked into the hospital. He could be dangerous…."
"Does it look like it is hurting this patient," Jyou inquired as he gestured to Kaida and Koushiro.
"Ummm….no?"
"Precisely my point. Now, go interrupt someone else."
"But, it could give the patient some type of new disease…"
"Away! Go!" Jyou waved off the two people as he turned back to Koushiro and sighed with relief as he sat himself down next to him. "That was close."
Koushiro looked away from Kaida for a second and bowed his head towards Jyou. "Thank you for doing that. You could have just let them take Kaida away from me, but you didn't. I hold great respect for you."
Jyou's eyes lightened up as he saw Koushiro return his attention to Kaida. 'He holds respect for me. He really showed some type of gesture towards me! Oh, this is wonderful!' His eyes began to water with joy as he closed them. 'Maybe he will be normal again! Oh, I hope so. Oh Gods, please let him be the person he was,' Jyou silently prayed.
***
Yamato sat down on the bed and looked at the floor. "I wonder what was so interesting for Koushiro to just leave like that. Then, why is Jyou following Koushiro like his life depended on it? It just doesn't make sense, unless……no. That's not like Jyou. He wouldn't be that sort of person…would he?' Yamato scratched his head. 'Nah. I'm just being stupid.' Yamato stood up and took a look into the hallway. He saw Jyou shooing away some people and then saw him sit down next to Koushiro. He saw Koushiro bow his head and then saw Jyou look like he was about to burst with happiness. Yamato put his head back into the room and slumped down against the wall. 'He can't be gay….can he?'
***
A figure was watching this entire scene through a dimensional rift and smirked with glee as it saw this new revelation. "This is wonderful. Now, I can be rid of this Kido person even more easily than before. His hidden love will be his greatest weakness." The figure chuckled condescendingly and looked away from the rift. "Now, to figure out how to stop the prophecy of the Chosen Seraph. So far, everything has come true. The fallen soul, the attempted destruction of it and then the coming of an outside strength that cures the soul of all ails. That part is still in progress though. I must not allow this Kido child manifest into anything larger than what he is." The creature left the rift, placed a cloak upon itself and disappeared into the darkness.
***
Jyou tried with all his might to hide his joy, but he wasn't doing all that well. 'At least Koushiro isn't paying me any mind.' Jyou sighed as he slowly calmed down. 'Get a hold on yourself, Jyou. He hasn't even done anything drastic. It isn't like he's going to admit his undying feelings about you. You don't even know that he even cares about you at all, you baka,' Jyou mentally slapped himself back into reality. He noticed that several people were coming down the hallway with a patient that needed to be rushed into the intensive care unit. 'Crap!' Jyou thought as he looked at the room that was right in beside them. "Koushiro. I hate to break this up, but you wouldn't want to be squashed by a stretcher, now would you," Jyou implied as he looked behind himself.
"I'll move in a second." Koushiro was still preoccupied with Kaida, who was still playing with him.
"No, I mean now! Let's move!" Jyou grabbed Koushiro by the arms and pulled him to the wall, along with Kaida just as the stretcher rolled past. Jyou sighed as he looked at Koushiro. His anger boiled as he looked at the unconcerned look on Koushiro's face reached his senses. "Excuse me, but don't you know what you could have caused back there, Koushiro? That person could have been KILLED due to your inattentiveness! Those doctors don't have time to look in front of themselves for obstacles and this hospital is short on staff members! The stretcher would have tipped over and precious moments would have been lost! Don't you understand that?" Jyou saw Koushiro's face fall as he comprehended Jyou's outburst. 'What have I done?' Jyou mentally slapped himself and he looked at Koushiro.
"I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself." Koushiro looked away from Jyou and at the Intensive Care entrance. 'What if that had been me on that stretcher and it tipped over? How would I feel towards the person who caused that to happen?'
"I'm the one that should be sorry." Jyou looked at the ground. "It's my fault for not looking sooner and thinking that something like this could happen. I mean, I'm the doctor here. I know these things, not you. I am truly sorry Koushiro. Will you forgive me?" Jyou bowed his head and placed his arms behind his back.
Koushiro was surprised at this reaction. 'He's asking for MY forgiveness? He feels that my forgiveness is worthy enough to ask for? Why,' he asked himself as he looked at Jyou. "I forgive you, Jyou, even though you didn't do anything…."
"But I did do something, Koushiro! I yelled at you for something that wasn't something that I should have been yelled about and I let you leave and I didn't try hard enough to find you and…" Koushiro stood up and covered Jyou's mouth before he could say anything else.
"Jyou, you didn't a thing. Don't blame yourself for anything that has happened. Everything that has occurred in the past is my fault, and not yours." Koushiro pulled away from Jyou's mouth and reached down to pet Kaida on the head.
Jyou stood in shock as he looked at Koushiro. 'He…he remembered MY name! He remembered my name! Now Jyou, quit being over-reactive. Once he gets his memory back, he'll probably leave and you'll never hear from him again.' Jyou's eyes fell to the floor as he crossed his arms. "I'm so sorry, Koushiro," he mumbled as he looked at Kaida.
Jyou then felt a hand slap him lightly across the face. Jyou snapped his head up to see Koushiro's hand up in the air. "It's not your fault, damn it! Everything is MY fault! Don't you understand that? Am I going to have to slap some sense into you every time I do something wrong?" Jyou put a hand up to his cheek and softly rubbed it.
"Koushiro…"
"No! I won't hear any of it! I don't want your pity or guilt on my hands. I don't need it. Pity doesn't get me anywhere. It just causes me more pain and suffering."
"But…"
"Listen to me!" Koushiro's hands were now balled into fists by his side. "Do you know what it is like to be beaten within inches of your life because either someone showed you any compassion or because you cared for a soul besides yourself? Well, do you?" Jyou's head shook slightly. "I thought not. It has happened to me and look at what I am now. I don't want that to happen to you because of your compassion towards me. Don't try to help me in the least. It will just come straight back at you in the future and ruin your life." Koushiro's scar on the side of face was hurting immensely once again and he raised a hand to it.
"You can't really mean that, can you? There are so many times in the past that…"
Koushiro removed his hand from his face and looked at Jyou. "I can't remember those times! What good are things that I can remember? All I can remember is hate, anger, depression and loneliness! Everything else is gone!" After that outburst, Koushiro bit his tongue in order to stop from crying out in agony because of his scar. He then felt a nudge at his leg and discovered that Kaida was pulling on his pants. An image flashed before Koushiro's eyes and it appeared that an insect-like creature was standing next to him now instead of Kaida. Koushiro stared at this sight and wondered what it meant.
"What about that dog, Koushiro? Surely, you can remember what he has done for you." Jyou noticed that Koushiro had now frozen in place while having his hand on Kaida's head. 'What is he doing?'
Images passed by Koushiro's eyes of Kaida and how they had first met. First, that fateful night where he had rescued the poor guy from the trash can. Then, how he hid them before the Hishinkas clobbered him. He remembered waking up to his soft nudges and licks. Then, he remembered Kaida laying next to him through all the cold nights and how he had looked when Koushiro had shooed him away. Then most importantly, how he had saved him from certain death after being stabbed by that man in the alleyway. 'How…what…Kaida CARES for me and nothing bad has happened to him because of it. He has loved me ever since I rescued him and he hasn't been hurt by anyone…but me. How could I have been so ignorant?'
Jyou watched in wonder as a tear rolled down Koushiro's cheek and landed on Kaida. Koushiro then bent down and hugged Kaida as tightly as he could. Jyou walked over and placed a hand on Koushiro's shoulder. "I'm glad that you remembered something, Koushiro. I knew you could do it." Jyou felt like crying himself while watching Koushiro and decided that he had to remain strong….for Koushiro's sake.
"Oh Jyou! I'm so sorry for what I've done!" Koushiro got up off of the ground and embraced the blue-haired doctor. Instead of pulling away, Jyou placed his arm around Koushiro's back and comforted him as he sobbed into his shoulder. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I killed them! Oh Gods, I killed all four of them!" Koushiro mumbled loudly into Jyou's now soaking wet shoulder.
Jyou pulled Koushiro away from his should and wiped a tear from his face. "Koushiro, you need to tell me what happened. I can help you." Koushiro then saw the auburn-haired woman replace Jyou's figure for a second before disappearing again. 'What is this woman trying to tell me? Is she guiding me?' He then looked towards Kaida, who was looking up at Koushiro with earnest eyes. 'I don't know what to do.' Koushiro looked back towards Jyou. "I don't know if I can, Jyou. It's been hidden so deep within me for so many years, that it's like keeping it a secret is part of my soul. I…I don't really know what I would do if I lost that part." Koushiro closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"I know how you feel, Koushiro. Believe me, I do." Jyou sighed as he reached for Koushiro. He stopped himself halfway through though and grabbed his hand instead. "Release that part and see how it feels. For all you know, it could be like releasing a vice that has been crushing your souls for years." Jyou squeezed Koushiro's hand in reassurance. "Remember, I'll always be there for you."
'Here for you.' Those words repeated over and over in Koushiro's mind. He opened his eyes and looked at Jyou. 'I'll always be there for you.' He then felt his feelings from all of the years rise up like a rushing waterfall and felt lost in the stream of emotions. His eyes changed from a dull black color to a more glossy ebony hue and he truly did feel like a dam had been broken within his heart. He began to tell Jyou everything. From how he felt when his father died and when he abandoned his mother, to when he was reminded of how his other parents died and how he had been the cause of their accident. Jyou watched this display and wanted more than anything to just embrace Koushiro and make all of his ails forgotten, but he knew he could never do so much.
"….and that's how I got where I am today." Koushiro stood in place after he finished. He looked like he had just been through a massive battle. His hair looked all disheveled and his eyes were drooping like they hadn't been allowed to close in months. Koushiro then started to sway a bit and Jyou caught him before he swayed too far. Koushiro looked up at his savior and slowly closed his eyes. 'For once, I finally feel at peace with myself.'
Jyou watched as Koushiro's eyes closed while he was laying in his arms and felt as if he was at peace with himself as well. He could finally help Koushiro through his pain without sorting through blindly assumed facts. He looked down upon Koushiro's smiling face and smiled himself. He reached down and grabbed Koushiro's legs so he could carry him back to his room. 'He needs his rest after all,' Jyou chuckled to himself as he entered the room. He saw Yamato sitting against the wall looking troubled.
"What's wrong, Yamato?" Yamato was startled by Jyou's voice and looked up at him with frantic eyes. "Oh, Jyou," he sighed, "it's just…what happened to Koushiro? Is he okay?" Yamato stood up and was going to attempt to wake him when Jyou pulled away.
"He just needs his rest. Don't wake him," Jyou said quietly as he placed Koushiro back onto the hospital bed. Yamato watched as Jyou placed a hand on Koushiro's face and let his fingers run along a giant scar on the side of Koushiro's face.
"Have you even wondered what this scar is from, Yamato," Jyou said softly as he lifted his hand from his face. "Have you?"
"What scar, Jyou? I don't see anything at all." Yamato looked at Jyou in confusion as he looked all around Koushiro's face. Jyou looked back down at the giant scar and then back at Yamato.
"What are you talking about? It's right there." Jyou pointed to the giant white line that ran along Koushiro's face and then looked back at Yamato. "How could you not see it? Come and take a closer look," Jyou said as he gestured to the blond. Yamato walked closer to where Koushiro and he bent down over Koushiro.
"I still don't see anything, Jyou. Maybe you need some rest…" Yamato trailed off as he reached for Jyou's shoulder. Jyou pulled away and stood up.
"I am not seeing things! I know what I am seeing and there is a scar that runs all along the left side of his face! Are you blind or something?" Yamato took a hold of the panicked Jyou and shook him slightly in an attempt to get him back to his senses.
"Look. There is nothing there. You're just over-tired, Jyou. You need to rest. Now, let's get you to a nice, warm bed." Yamato slowly pushed on Jyou's back as he finished speaking. Jyou cooperated, but he looked back at Koushiro right before Yamato forced him out of the door.
'I know what I saw, Yamato. I'm the reliable one, or don't you remember that,' Jyou thought as his friend was pushing him down the hallway. 'I don't need rest. I need to be by Koushiro. Why can't you understand that?'
***
'Why can't you understand that?'Koushiro opened his eyes to the echoing sound of Jyou's voice. He looked around and saw that he was in a dense forest of some kind. Koushiro lifted himself up from the ground and took a good look around. There were only a few beams of sunlight shining through the spaces between the trunks of trees and masses of branches. The soil crunched underneath his feet and he heard the chattering of birds above him. Koushiro closed his eyes and let the wind whisper into his ears.
"Fallen heart," is what was repeated over and over again in a murmured tone as the wind flowed through Koushiro's hair. "Fallen heart…fallen…"
He opened his eyes and decided to explore where he was. 'Hmm…I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore,' Koushiro joked with himself while trying to hide his nervousness. 'What is there to be afraid of? I mean, it isn't like there are any wild animals or anyth…' Koushiro stopped his thoughts as he nearly stumbled off of a steep ledge. 'What the…woah…' Koushiro felt like he was on top of the world. This ledge overlooked an entire valley that was filled with endless moors and forests of green. Then, the sunset started. Oranges and reds filled the branches of the groves and the sky became filled with purple and midnight blue hues. Koushiro sat down with his feet hanging over the cliff and let them dangle in the warm air. As the stars began to appear, he noticed that two of the constellations formed a dog and a man. He laid down upon the grass and watched those two constellations as they twinkled in the night sky.
'Those two look familiar for some reason,' Koushiro pondered as he set himself up on his elbows. He squinted at them in an attempt to get a closer look, but it was to no avail. Koushiro laid back down on the grass. 'It really is amazing that the sky can be so vast. It just makes me feel so small…' A loud clap of thunder in the distance interrupted Koushiro's thoughts. He sat himself up and looked in the direction of the sound. A menacing blackness appeared in the distance and it was moving extremely fast. It advanced towards the two constellations and Koushiro could have sworn that the two figures cowered in front of it before they were engulfed in it's blackness. Lightning struck every few seconds and all other light had been abolished due to the charcoal clouds. Wind roared and the rain poured down in torrents as Koushiro hid under a nearby tree.
'I'm being just stupid. A tree is the worst place…' Another lightning bolt struck a nearby tree, cutting Koushiro's thoughts short. He ducked underneath another tree that was nearby in hopes that the next bolt would miss him as well. That's when the smell of smoke reached his nose. Without a second thought about the danger behind what he was doing, he rose from his crouched position and moved over to the edge of the cliff. What he saw was terrible. The entire valley was in flames. The once green trees were burned into ebony ashes and the ones that were ablaze were the colors of the sunset itself. 'How could this happen? This can't be happening! How come everything that is beautiful has to be destroyed before my very eyes?'
"Why!?" Koushiro yelled out into the darkness and heard his cry echo back to him unanswered. Rain streamed down his face in streams as he closed his eyes, not wanting to see this unstoppable destruction take place. Another lightning bolt struck a nearby tree, but Koushiro was unprepared for the explosion that followed, therefore sending him off of the cliff. 'Oh my Gods! I'm going to die!' Koushiro screamed mentally as he was getting closer to the ground. That's when his back hit part of the ledge and he was knocked unconscious.
***
Koushiro awoke to the smell of burnt wood and flesh as he opened his eyes. He turned his head and covered his mouth in shock as the desolation laid before his eyes. The once blue sky had turned an awful brownish color and was filled with toxic fumes that were doomed to land on the soil sooner or later. Koushiro stood up and widened his eyes as he saw the bleakness of what was once a giant grove of forest. Ashes littered the area and there wasn't a piece of green left on the land. Koushiro walked through the ravaged terrain and his heart felt like it was being torn in two when he knelt down and picked up some of the soil and let It run through his hands.'The soil is ruined. The nutrients have been destroyed.' Koushiro gulped as he got back up. 'Nothing will ever grow here again.' Koushiro sighed and began to yell at the top of his lungs. "I can't bear this! Why wasn't I allowed to die like this forest? Is this some type of lesson for me to learn? Well, I'm sick and tired of learning things at the expense of others!" Koushiro walked on towards the elevated part of the area while becoming even more enraged. His foot then stepped on something hard. Koushiro lifted his foot and bent down to see the blackened skeleton of what was once a proud stag.
'No…why'd this have to happen,' Koushiro asked as he tried to lift the bones from the ground The only thing he received was the skull. 'Oh Gods…you were so young. Why'd you have to die? It's so unfair of Nature to take such a young life,' Koushiro thought as he held the skull in the palm of his hand. He stared at it for a few moments and then placed it back onto the ground.
"I wish I could finish your cremation, but I don't have the means. I feel so guilty. I don't want to just desert you like this," Koushiro said as he gazed upon the half-buried remains. Koushiro turned away from the sight and walked in the other direction while tears ran from his eyes. 'It's so unfair…'
"Through the ashes will emerge,
A seraph through which all converge.
Fallen from the light,
Pained from the last fight,
And lost in this blight.
Nearly lost and death upon him,
One soul brightens his hopes so dim.
Letting the light through,
Letting the past too,
Almost stopped by the new.
His job finished, all lives freed,
Return to the stars shall be his creed.
Never to be seen,
Or remembered by memory keen,
Missed only by one,
Tormented by none,
The seraph's life over and done."
Koushiro turned around at that whispered prophecy. "Who….who's there? What do you mean? What's happening? What does the destruction of this place have to do with that poem?" Koushiro's eyes flipped around the area, frantically looking for the soul who stated that prophecy. Then, some movement caught his eye. Koushiro flipped around to discover the auburn-haired angel behind him.
"Okay. I've seen you practically everywhere and before you say a thing, I just want to know what your name is."
"Names are not important."
"They are to me! Please, just let me know."
"As you wish, my child. I am called Nanako. In the ancient language of the Universe, it means "one of many forms"."
"The…Ancient Language? I never knew about that language. Does it truly exist?"
"Only with those who believe it does. Now, may we continue. Time is of the essence."
"Do what you want, but first, why was this forest destroyed?" Koushiro once again picked up some soil and let it run through his hand. "Why were so many lives destroyed? Why didn't I die along with them?"
"Your own negative feelings caused this havoc to be raised. They overrun you like that storm overran this place. Sooner or later, you heart will become barren and desolate……like this place. That is if you do not allow them to."
"But…"
"You did not die because you did not wish to die. If you had wished that to be so, then your body would have died back in the mortal dimension and here. Both wished to live, so you are here. It was the same way when you were in the Digital World."
"Alright, I understand that, but why that prophecy? What does it mean?"
"That's another thing you will have to figure out for yourself. That's the only thing you will remember from this dream."
Koushiro raised an eyebrow at Nanako. "Do you people ever think about the fact that all this 'You will forget so and so after this dream' is what is screwing up my mind? I mean, how many times has this been done to me?" Koushiro stood up in protest as Nanako began to fade into the distance. "Oh well. I guess that's just how life is."
"Yes, it is cruel, isn't it. Poor poor thing. Are you lost?" Koushiro turned and faced the taunting voice. As he did, a hand wrapped around his neck and squeezed hard. "I can finally be at peace when I'm rid of you! Why can't you just die?" The grip around his neck became even tighter, cutting off Koushiro's air supply. He clawed at the hand with all of his might, but he could not pry it away. "I can't kill you here, but watch yourself, Chosen, I'll find some way to destroy you." Koushiro was thrown against the wall of the cliff and watched as his tormentor walked away.
***
"No!" Koushiro bolted up in his bed in a cold sweat. He ran his hands through his hair and felt some drops of salty water run down his face. 'Why do this dreams always end so abruptly? Is there something that I'm not allowed to see in them? What was in this vision? All I remember is a stupid poem that doesn't make any sense anyway.' Koushiro then noticed that Jyou had fallen asleep right by his bed along with Kaida.
"Glad to see you are awake." Koushiro turned to face Yamato and the to the TV, which he finally realized was on. "You know, he's been waiting here for hours for you to wake up. He refused to sleep anywhere else. In fact, I had to sneak sedatives into his water to get him to go to sleep. You do appreciate that, don't you?"
Koushiro lifted his eyebrow. "Should I be impressed or something? I don't even know this guy all that well and right now, I have more important things to think about…" Koushiro stopped when he felt a hand take him by the shirt and a hand hit his face.
"I thought you had changed for a while there, Koushiro. Now, you're just going back to what you were before you left, a selfish computer prick." Koushiro flinched at the way Yamato spit out the last few words. "Why can't you see that? You've broken his heart so many times before, Koushiro. Why are you doing it again?" Yamato's tone slowly changed from a harsh one to a pleading one.
Koushiro's eyes widened as Yamato let go of him and he looked down at his quilt. Flashes of events that had occurred before he left for the first time began to appear before his eyes. All of the visions were disturbing but, one vision in particular got to Koushiro.
"Jyou, I can't go with you today. I have things I have to do on the computer today."
"But Koushiro, you said that you would go to lunch with me today. We were going to discuss this big project that you are working on. You said that…"
Koushiro whipped around in his revolving chair to face Jyou. "Maybe I don't WANT your help anymore. I really don't need your services with this. I figured out some way to do it by myself." Koushiro turned back around and began to type on the computer again, not noticing Jyou's hurt look.
"But, Koushiro…"
"I said that I don't need your help! Leave me alone!" Koushiro turned around and threw a nearby apple core at Jyou, which nearly hit his head. "Get out! I'm busy!" Jyou reeled back towards the wall and stumbled out the door while looking back at Koushiro.
Then, came another vision…
"Hikari, I know that it means a lot to you if I go to Taichi's soccer game, but I have some things I have to do for my website. It's been having some technical problems and…"
"Why do I even ask you to do anything, Koushiro? You're just a selfish geek and you know it! You just…" Hikari was stopped suddenly by a slap across the face.
"You don't understand! I HAVE to get this done today! Why can't you just leave me alone?" Koushiro turned around and connected to the Internet while Hikari was holding her cheek. "Damned Internet connections. Always so damned slow." That's when Taichi walked in the room.
"Hikari, Koushiro! Time to….what happened Hikari? What's wrong with your cheek?" Taichi rushed over to his younger sister and took her hand away from her cheek and saw a giant red blotch on her skin. "How'd this happen?"
Koushiro spoke while tying in some commands. "I did it because she wouldn't leave me alone, like you. Do you have any clue how demanding these companies are? I don't have the time to see your stupid soccer matches! So, quit asking me!"
Taichi slowly left the room with his sister. When she had left Taichi returned and hit Koushiro hard on the side of the head. As Koushiro sat on the ground rubbing his cheek, Taichi looked down upon him in scorn. "Who the hell do you think you are? Do you think you are a God because of your intelligence? Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but you aren't one. You're just a pissy bastard!" Taichi then left the room.
"Dumb prick. He has no right to hit me like that," Koushiro mumbled as he picked himself up from the ground. "At least I can work on this project in peace…"
'In peace…In peace…peace…' Koushiro blinked his eyes as that phrase repeated in his memory over and over again and he looked at Yamato with fear and regret. "Oh Gods! Yamato, how could I have been so cruel? Why didn't I realize….Oh Gods! Someone just tell me it isn't all true!" Koushiro turned to Yamato, who now had his eyes closed.
"For someone as smart as you are, Koushiro, it sure took a lot to make you realize how much of a "prick" that you really were. I'm sorry for slapping you earlier, but it would kill Jyou to see you the way you were again. After what happened with Taichi that one time, everyone began to hate your arrogance. Everyone but Jyou that is. He always tried to get through to you, but you always brushed him off as "an annoyance". Then, you suddenly disappeared. Jyou was crushed and no one really understood why since you had mistreated him so much. As I have said before, he bottled everything inside of himself and became a work-o-holic after that. In fact, I never saw him shed a single tear until he called me to the hospital to see you. I hope you really are ashamed of yourself. I hope you have realized what you have done…"
"Stop! Please…no more…" Koushiro turned his head away. "I've changed. I've been humbled beyond belief since then. Emotions come out of me in their raw forms and I can't control myself anymore. A small amount of hate becomes a loud rage. A little sadness becomes a suicidal depression! Do you know what that is like? Do you?"
"Yes, I do. Nothing that you are saying is anything that I don't know already. I've been hurt too. We all have hurt inside of us, but it's the way that we deal with it that counts. Some run from it, while others face it and defeat it. Koushiro, if you don't stand and fight, your heart going to become devoid of any type of feeling!"
'Devoid…' Koushiro then had a flashback to the burning valley, the death of the stag, the woman…Everything was going by so fast. 'No! Not again!' He clutched his head in pain and his body started to go into convulsions. Koushiro struggled to breathe, but his lungs didn't seem to want to work. 'I don't want to leave yet! I have so many things that I have to do!' Koushiro then started to glow the color of his crest of Knowledge, but the glow wasn't constant. It flickered on and off at an erratic pace, which caused Yamato to become even more frenzied.
"Oh my Gods, Jyou! Wake up!" Yamato frantically shook Jyou trying to wake him up. Jyou's eyes slowly fluttered open and he looked directly into the eyes of a panicked Yamato. He pointed to Koushiro since he was too scared to do anything else. He watched as Jyou's eyes widened and he started to do some medical procedures used to control seizures. 'This is all my fault. He started doing this because of everything I said. Why am I such a dumbass at times? Why?' Yamato backed away from the scene a little and put his head on his hands.
After a few minutes, he felt a hand land upon his shoulder. He looked into the eyes of an exhausted Jyou, who was smiling down at him. "Look, it's okay, Yamato. I just used some special training techniques on him, so he'll be fine be morning. You need to get some rest now, so why don't you go lay down somewhere and I'll watch Koushiro now. Okay?"
"But…"
"Don't argue with the one with the PHD Yamato. I know what's best and it is best for you to go to sleep." Jyou then forced Yamato into a chair and covered him up with a quilt. With some muttered protests, Yamato closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. Jyou then walked over and sat on Koushiro's bed while flipping through some of the channels on Koushiro's TV. 'They really need to get some new channels of this thing.' While Jyou was busy flipping through channels, he didn't notice the looming shadow that was hovering throughout the room, slowly engulfing him and Koushiro in darkness...