SD Deus Ex: The Editing Process
Omake 3
PG
TLP and crew sit and watch the latest episode as it plays out on the
bigscreen before them. Suddenly, the film is yanked. An audible moan cries
from the crowd.
"Who's responsible?" shouts Mamoru, who just can't get enough of himself on
a large screen.
"I'd like to know as well!" chimes in a chorus of females sitting on the
back row, who just can't get enough of Mamoru on the bigscreen either.
"Show yourself!" shouts TLP, who's had enough of Mamoru on the bigscreen,
but realizes what it is that sells stories, so to speak.
An elderly gentleman, dressed very neatly, steps from behind the camera
booth, film in hand.
"I, sir, represent DiC. I am what you call a film/story approval
coordinator. I approve films and or stories before they reach the hands of
the impressionable youth that my company has rights to scam by poorly
dubbing such animated classics as Sailor Moon."
TLP is in shock.
Amy assesses the situation.
Usagi cries.
Mamoru comforts her.
Girls in backrow sigh longingly.
Elderly gentleman becomes upset.
"Why aren't you people paying attention to me?!"
TLP is still in shock.
Amy still assessing.
Usagi being throttled by jealous girls.
Mamoru being drowned in bodies.
Elderly gentleman more upset.
"I'M TAKING YOUR FILM HERE!"
Elderly gentleman pulls scissors from pocket. He pulls a hair from Andrew's
head and lets it fall onto the extended edge of the scissor blade. The hair
neatly falls in two.
TLP screams.
Amy brought back to reality.
Pile of girls strangling Usagi and fondling Mamoru stops momentarily to
figure out what is going on.
"You're an editor!" screams TLP.
"Yes sir, exactly. Your film here has too much violent content.
Impressionable minds would not do well with this."
The man shakes his head and snips out a large chunk of film.
TLP's jaw drops.
The man continues snipping out pieces here and there.
"You can't do that!" shouts TLP. "I spent days filming those four
chapters."
"Ha! When I'm through with this, you'll be lucky to get one part out of it!
I hope you have enough commercials to keep your audience's attention!"
TLP becomes furious.
"Now you listen here you son of a *BEEP*... what the? How come I beeped?"
"DiC will allow no adult language of any kind to be used in stories or films
for any characters they have rights for."
"You listen here *BEEP* If you don't *BEEP* out of *BEEP* here *BEEP now,
I'm going to *BEEP* your *BEEP*!" shouts TLP.
"My, my... such language. We'll have to edit that a bit too. We'll have to
use some of those new, hip phrases like 'da bomb' or 'sweet' and thoroughly
rehash the entire storyline as well."
Haruna and Michiru cuddle in the corner, oblivious to everything around
them.
"And you two there!" shouts the editor. "You're cousins! Shame on you!
That isn't proper behaviour for such a relation!"
"You're 'da bomb'!" says Haruna.
Michiru looks at her curiously.
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't say that. I said something in Japanese."
"There will be NO Japanese in this story, as per contract with my
employers."
A chorus of *BEEP*s literally rings from the enraged audience. There eyes
narrow and redden. Several hands reach out to clasp around the man's
throat.
And thus, the DiC company is now short one editor.
And TLP continues to write his film, which he hopes to get done in three
more chapters, but "don't quote me on that."
Omake 3
PG
TLP and crew sit and watch the latest episode as it plays out on the
bigscreen before them. Suddenly, the film is yanked. An audible moan cries
from the crowd.
"Who's responsible?" shouts Mamoru, who just can't get enough of himself on
a large screen.
"I'd like to know as well!" chimes in a chorus of females sitting on the
back row, who just can't get enough of Mamoru on the bigscreen either.
"Show yourself!" shouts TLP, who's had enough of Mamoru on the bigscreen,
but realizes what it is that sells stories, so to speak.
An elderly gentleman, dressed very neatly, steps from behind the camera
booth, film in hand.
"I, sir, represent DiC. I am what you call a film/story approval
coordinator. I approve films and or stories before they reach the hands of
the impressionable youth that my company has rights to scam by poorly
dubbing such animated classics as Sailor Moon."
TLP is in shock.
Amy assesses the situation.
Usagi cries.
Mamoru comforts her.
Girls in backrow sigh longingly.
Elderly gentleman becomes upset.
"Why aren't you people paying attention to me?!"
TLP is still in shock.
Amy still assessing.
Usagi being throttled by jealous girls.
Mamoru being drowned in bodies.
Elderly gentleman more upset.
"I'M TAKING YOUR FILM HERE!"
Elderly gentleman pulls scissors from pocket. He pulls a hair from Andrew's
head and lets it fall onto the extended edge of the scissor blade. The hair
neatly falls in two.
TLP screams.
Amy brought back to reality.
Pile of girls strangling Usagi and fondling Mamoru stops momentarily to
figure out what is going on.
"You're an editor!" screams TLP.
"Yes sir, exactly. Your film here has too much violent content.
Impressionable minds would not do well with this."
The man shakes his head and snips out a large chunk of film.
TLP's jaw drops.
The man continues snipping out pieces here and there.
"You can't do that!" shouts TLP. "I spent days filming those four
chapters."
"Ha! When I'm through with this, you'll be lucky to get one part out of it!
I hope you have enough commercials to keep your audience's attention!"
TLP becomes furious.
"Now you listen here you son of a *BEEP*... what the? How come I beeped?"
"DiC will allow no adult language of any kind to be used in stories or films
for any characters they have rights for."
"You listen here *BEEP* If you don't *BEEP* out of *BEEP* here *BEEP now,
I'm going to *BEEP* your *BEEP*!" shouts TLP.
"My, my... such language. We'll have to edit that a bit too. We'll have to
use some of those new, hip phrases like 'da bomb' or 'sweet' and thoroughly
rehash the entire storyline as well."
Haruna and Michiru cuddle in the corner, oblivious to everything around
them.
"And you two there!" shouts the editor. "You're cousins! Shame on you!
That isn't proper behaviour for such a relation!"
"You're 'da bomb'!" says Haruna.
Michiru looks at her curiously.
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't say that. I said something in Japanese."
"There will be NO Japanese in this story, as per contract with my
employers."
A chorus of *BEEP*s literally rings from the enraged audience. There eyes
narrow and redden. Several hands reach out to clasp around the man's
throat.
And thus, the DiC company is now short one editor.
And TLP continues to write his film, which he hopes to get done in three
more chapters, but "don't quote me on that."