Title: Who Will it Be?
Author: Lissa-Bean
Parts: 10/10
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Yes, please! MyLuv4JeffHardy@aol.com
Distribution: Go ahead, I don't mind, just credit me and tell me where its going.
Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people.... I just kinda play along
Note: Word Italiszed hows what people are thinking. example: I**Thoughts**/I and words in slashes are flashbacks. example: //flashback\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy awoke with a start, immediately looking for Little Willow. As a mother's first priority, Spike didn't expect less. Not from her anyways. She spotted Little Will in Spike's arms, snug in the pink blanket she had had wrapped around her before.
Buffy slowly arose, her head still pounding. She knew Little Will was safe in Spike's arms and wished she could watch them together forever. She knew from that moment that he was going to be a good daddy and couldn't have asked for a better one. Riley surely would have walked out on her as did Hank Summers, and Angel... Well, no one could see him cuddling a baby like she had saw Spike.
Spike noticed she was watching them then. "Good morning sunshine," he said walking over to Buffy. "I believe she belongs to you." Spike said regretfully handing the baby over yo Buffy. "No, she belongs to Ius/I ."
Buffy held the baby, taking it from Spike's grasp and setting her down among the pillows and blankets Spike had laid Buffy on, which was a failed but cute attempt to make her more comfortable. After all she was sleeping on stone. I**Did I just call Spike cute? Okay I can handle being nice Buffy and making friends, but calling him cute? Now that was uncalled for and was above the call of duty. What has gotten into me? **/I
She looked up from where Will lay back to Spike. Spike looked at here with those intense eyes.I**And not cute** /Ishe had to remind herself I**No more cute**/I Before she knew it his cool lips had met with hers and they were kissing. That was not what had surprised her. What surprised her was the fact that she was not only allowing it, but also returning it.
She suddenly pulled away, realizing what she was doing. "Spike..." her tone was harsh and painful. Now she had grown attached to him. Now she had liked him, she didn't have to love him or put up with him, he was just always there for her.
"I know what you are going to say... This can't ever be anything. But it was with Angel. I am just asking for the same chance that you gave him. "
"But it was different... he had a soul."
"I've heard you say this a million times, luv, I got a chip. Angel did twice the tormenting I did in his days as well, I just made a name for me by tormenting slayers. Besides, I am not bloody Angel. His shadow was lurking over me since he left; now everything I do is compared to him. Buffy listen to me, give me a chance, and I will do everything in my power to not ruin it. Not everything goes your way, but that doesn't mean that it's bad." Spike said trying his hardest to persuade her to give him a chance and to see where it goes from there.
"Yeah Spike, name one time something didn't go your way, but you still like the way it ended." Buffy said not turning to face him when she talked to him. She couldn't bear. After all that they went through that night, her leading him on, she didn't want to hurt him.
"Luv, I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care. I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do. I'm sorry but I can't help myself, I fell in love with you. " Spike blinked in surprise. I**That wasn't supposed to rhyme. Maybe I still have some William left in me that didn't die. Except I don't like who I was. I was an idiot. Not so much as handing my heart to someone. Just the wrong someone.**/I
"Pet, you can't just give up and say 'no' and walk away from this. Just once I'd like to fall in love and not have it hurt so badly in the end." He said trying to find her emotion. That was harder thought than done, she was trying not to look at him.
"Spike- -" Buffy had tears, he knew it, but she still tried to hide it. "If you really want me to fall for you, you have to let me know that you are worth tripping over. If you love me, let me go. If I come back I am yours. If I don't then I never was." She said this, and took Little Will and left. She needed space to think things through. He made his decision, now she had to think about hers.
Spike sat down in his recliner. I**If it wasn't going hurt, then it wouldn't be called a crush**/I he kept reminding himself. There was always a little voice that kept reminded him that he thought it was more than a crush.
He needed someone to talk to right now. It couldn't be Dawn because she was living with Buffy. He needed some advice, so he turned to the only member of the Scooby gang that actually accepted him: Willow. He was going to go through his tunnels to the dorm rooms.
"Listen Will, I need to talk..." Spike was very serious, awaiting an invitation into her's and Tara's dorm.
"Spike... I thought you'd be with Buffy and Willow. Wait. That was weird." She thought a moment then corrected herself, "Little Willow I meant."
Spike looked at her with a slight grin. He could expect more people to do that throughout the years. "Come on in." Willow stood aside, and Spike took a seat in front of Tara on the bed.
"Its Buffy. She is just being so difficult! Sometimes I think she likes me, then others, she despises me like she always had before. She is sending me mixed signals and it's making' me go bloody bonkers." Spike blurted out in one breath. (If he had any)
Willow sighed, fully understanding what he felt, with her going through almost the exact same this with Xander. Tara couldn't help but listen to Spike's plea. "My mother used to tell me a rhyme, "Never say I love you, if you don't really care. Never talk about feelings, if they really aren't there. Never hold my hand, if you are going to break my heart. Never say you are going to, if you don't plan to start. Never look into my eyes, if all you do is lie. Never say hello, if you really mean good-bye. If you really mean forever, then say that you will try. Never say forever, forever makes me cry."
Everyone was quiet with that until Tara broke the silence again. "Maybe you should tell Buffy the rhyme and see what she says." Tara said looking down.
I**Why did everything have to remind me of my former very HUMAN self now? Was it because I want to be alive again for Buffy's sake? Or that part of me is alive and loving Buffy? Or I am going nuts over bloody nothing?!?** /I Spike looked between Willow and Tara. He sighed. "That's what I will do then, tell her that. If she ever comes back. She told me if there was a chance she would give it and come back."
Willow looked at Spike. "Buffy sure is a handful, but if she let you kiss her, believe me, there is a chance."
Spike thanks both of the two lovers and left the way he came, through the tunnels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For once Buffy understood what Spike went through when he had a crush on her, when he thought of her every minute. She couldn't stop thinking about it. The kiss. She thought that if she had kept thinking about it, there had to be a chance. She decided to go to him as soon as nightfall hit.
"Spike?" She walked slowly into his crypt to see him half asleep, only awakened by the sound of her voice.
Knowing that she was there at his crypt mean she was willing to give him,I them/I, a chance.
Spike told her the poem he got from Tara; "Never say I love you, if you don't really care. Never talk about feelings, if they really aren't there. Never hold my hand, if you are going to break my heart. Never say you are going to, if you don't plan to start. Never look into my eyes, if all you do is lie. Never say hello, if you really mean good-bye. If you really mean forever, then say that you will try. Never say forever, forever makes me cry."
Buffy looked at him, emotionless. She didn't know what to say. "Spike, like I said before, that chip, it's only holding you back. How do I know that as soon as you get it out you won't go and kill me?"
"Because, you have to trust it. How do you know that it's holding me back? Maybe it's just pointing me in the right direction." Spike cradled her face. "Trust it." He whispered in her ear.
Buffy let out a little sigh. I**Or maybe it was a whimper... I wish I knew what she was thinking, then I would be so sure of what to say.**/I
She looked back at him. "All right, I will give you a chance." Buffy said quietly. She was caught in Spike's embrace, hugging silently.
"You won't regret it, luv." Spike said with a grin. He knew he didn't have to protect her, and he knew she was stronger than he was. He didn't care. She didn't overwhelm him, and yet she did at the same time.
"Does this mean that you mine?" He asked quietly, being sure not to let go of her. Now that he had her, he never wanted to let her go.
"Always..." Tears were forming in her eyes. She didn't know if it was pain or joy. She was happy she worked everything out, but there was pain mixed in too. Pain because she felt as if she was leaving Angel and Riley forever again. She knew her and Angel, or her and Riley would never come to be again. Riley was dead, and if she makes Angel truly happy, her would kill everyone she loved, which now would probably include Spike.
They finally (and very slowly) pulled apart. She felt his lips touch hers again. It made his heart soar, and this time she didn't pull away. Now that he had reassured her that he wouldn't kill her if he got the chip out, she felt how right this was.
//"You have to admit that there is something there"\\
//"Loathing? Disgust?"\\
//"Heat, desire.."\\
She remembered his words when he first tried to tell her of his love. Now she felt it. There was heat, and desire. Before there was only a little, now it was growing. He felt her. Her pulse, her livliness, her pain. She loved him. He loved her. There was nothing that they would let destroy that.
END
Authors note: So you like ya? Sorry about the sappy ending. Can't help it, I love Buffy and Spike together! I don't like this chapter though. I am no good at love stories.. Please R&R, it is appreatieced! Thanks to the people who reviewed before. Builds up my confidence you know?
Author: Lissa-Bean
Parts: 10/10
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Yes, please! MyLuv4JeffHardy@aol.com
Distribution: Go ahead, I don't mind, just credit me and tell me where its going.
Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns all these people.... I just kinda play along
Note: Word Italiszed hows what people are thinking. example: I**Thoughts**/I and words in slashes are flashbacks. example: //flashback\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy awoke with a start, immediately looking for Little Willow. As a mother's first priority, Spike didn't expect less. Not from her anyways. She spotted Little Will in Spike's arms, snug in the pink blanket she had had wrapped around her before.
Buffy slowly arose, her head still pounding. She knew Little Will was safe in Spike's arms and wished she could watch them together forever. She knew from that moment that he was going to be a good daddy and couldn't have asked for a better one. Riley surely would have walked out on her as did Hank Summers, and Angel... Well, no one could see him cuddling a baby like she had saw Spike.
Spike noticed she was watching them then. "Good morning sunshine," he said walking over to Buffy. "I believe she belongs to you." Spike said regretfully handing the baby over yo Buffy. "No, she belongs to Ius/I ."
Buffy held the baby, taking it from Spike's grasp and setting her down among the pillows and blankets Spike had laid Buffy on, which was a failed but cute attempt to make her more comfortable. After all she was sleeping on stone. I**Did I just call Spike cute? Okay I can handle being nice Buffy and making friends, but calling him cute? Now that was uncalled for and was above the call of duty. What has gotten into me? **/I
She looked up from where Will lay back to Spike. Spike looked at here with those intense eyes.I**And not cute** /Ishe had to remind herself I**No more cute**/I Before she knew it his cool lips had met with hers and they were kissing. That was not what had surprised her. What surprised her was the fact that she was not only allowing it, but also returning it.
She suddenly pulled away, realizing what she was doing. "Spike..." her tone was harsh and painful. Now she had grown attached to him. Now she had liked him, she didn't have to love him or put up with him, he was just always there for her.
"I know what you are going to say... This can't ever be anything. But it was with Angel. I am just asking for the same chance that you gave him. "
"But it was different... he had a soul."
"I've heard you say this a million times, luv, I got a chip. Angel did twice the tormenting I did in his days as well, I just made a name for me by tormenting slayers. Besides, I am not bloody Angel. His shadow was lurking over me since he left; now everything I do is compared to him. Buffy listen to me, give me a chance, and I will do everything in my power to not ruin it. Not everything goes your way, but that doesn't mean that it's bad." Spike said trying his hardest to persuade her to give him a chance and to see where it goes from there.
"Yeah Spike, name one time something didn't go your way, but you still like the way it ended." Buffy said not turning to face him when she talked to him. She couldn't bear. After all that they went through that night, her leading him on, she didn't want to hurt him.
"Luv, I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care. I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do. I'm sorry but I can't help myself, I fell in love with you. " Spike blinked in surprise. I**That wasn't supposed to rhyme. Maybe I still have some William left in me that didn't die. Except I don't like who I was. I was an idiot. Not so much as handing my heart to someone. Just the wrong someone.**/I
"Pet, you can't just give up and say 'no' and walk away from this. Just once I'd like to fall in love and not have it hurt so badly in the end." He said trying to find her emotion. That was harder thought than done, she was trying not to look at him.
"Spike- -" Buffy had tears, he knew it, but she still tried to hide it. "If you really want me to fall for you, you have to let me know that you are worth tripping over. If you love me, let me go. If I come back I am yours. If I don't then I never was." She said this, and took Little Will and left. She needed space to think things through. He made his decision, now she had to think about hers.
Spike sat down in his recliner. I**If it wasn't going hurt, then it wouldn't be called a crush**/I he kept reminding himself. There was always a little voice that kept reminded him that he thought it was more than a crush.
He needed someone to talk to right now. It couldn't be Dawn because she was living with Buffy. He needed some advice, so he turned to the only member of the Scooby gang that actually accepted him: Willow. He was going to go through his tunnels to the dorm rooms.
"Listen Will, I need to talk..." Spike was very serious, awaiting an invitation into her's and Tara's dorm.
"Spike... I thought you'd be with Buffy and Willow. Wait. That was weird." She thought a moment then corrected herself, "Little Willow I meant."
Spike looked at her with a slight grin. He could expect more people to do that throughout the years. "Come on in." Willow stood aside, and Spike took a seat in front of Tara on the bed.
"Its Buffy. She is just being so difficult! Sometimes I think she likes me, then others, she despises me like she always had before. She is sending me mixed signals and it's making' me go bloody bonkers." Spike blurted out in one breath. (If he had any)
Willow sighed, fully understanding what he felt, with her going through almost the exact same this with Xander. Tara couldn't help but listen to Spike's plea. "My mother used to tell me a rhyme, "Never say I love you, if you don't really care. Never talk about feelings, if they really aren't there. Never hold my hand, if you are going to break my heart. Never say you are going to, if you don't plan to start. Never look into my eyes, if all you do is lie. Never say hello, if you really mean good-bye. If you really mean forever, then say that you will try. Never say forever, forever makes me cry."
Everyone was quiet with that until Tara broke the silence again. "Maybe you should tell Buffy the rhyme and see what she says." Tara said looking down.
I**Why did everything have to remind me of my former very HUMAN self now? Was it because I want to be alive again for Buffy's sake? Or that part of me is alive and loving Buffy? Or I am going nuts over bloody nothing?!?** /I Spike looked between Willow and Tara. He sighed. "That's what I will do then, tell her that. If she ever comes back. She told me if there was a chance she would give it and come back."
Willow looked at Spike. "Buffy sure is a handful, but if she let you kiss her, believe me, there is a chance."
Spike thanks both of the two lovers and left the way he came, through the tunnels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For once Buffy understood what Spike went through when he had a crush on her, when he thought of her every minute. She couldn't stop thinking about it. The kiss. She thought that if she had kept thinking about it, there had to be a chance. She decided to go to him as soon as nightfall hit.
"Spike?" She walked slowly into his crypt to see him half asleep, only awakened by the sound of her voice.
Knowing that she was there at his crypt mean she was willing to give him,I them/I, a chance.
Spike told her the poem he got from Tara; "Never say I love you, if you don't really care. Never talk about feelings, if they really aren't there. Never hold my hand, if you are going to break my heart. Never say you are going to, if you don't plan to start. Never look into my eyes, if all you do is lie. Never say hello, if you really mean good-bye. If you really mean forever, then say that you will try. Never say forever, forever makes me cry."
Buffy looked at him, emotionless. She didn't know what to say. "Spike, like I said before, that chip, it's only holding you back. How do I know that as soon as you get it out you won't go and kill me?"
"Because, you have to trust it. How do you know that it's holding me back? Maybe it's just pointing me in the right direction." Spike cradled her face. "Trust it." He whispered in her ear.
Buffy let out a little sigh. I**Or maybe it was a whimper... I wish I knew what she was thinking, then I would be so sure of what to say.**/I
She looked back at him. "All right, I will give you a chance." Buffy said quietly. She was caught in Spike's embrace, hugging silently.
"You won't regret it, luv." Spike said with a grin. He knew he didn't have to protect her, and he knew she was stronger than he was. He didn't care. She didn't overwhelm him, and yet she did at the same time.
"Does this mean that you mine?" He asked quietly, being sure not to let go of her. Now that he had her, he never wanted to let her go.
"Always..." Tears were forming in her eyes. She didn't know if it was pain or joy. She was happy she worked everything out, but there was pain mixed in too. Pain because she felt as if she was leaving Angel and Riley forever again. She knew her and Angel, or her and Riley would never come to be again. Riley was dead, and if she makes Angel truly happy, her would kill everyone she loved, which now would probably include Spike.
They finally (and very slowly) pulled apart. She felt his lips touch hers again. It made his heart soar, and this time she didn't pull away. Now that he had reassured her that he wouldn't kill her if he got the chip out, she felt how right this was.
//"You have to admit that there is something there"\\
//"Loathing? Disgust?"\\
//"Heat, desire.."\\
She remembered his words when he first tried to tell her of his love. Now she felt it. There was heat, and desire. Before there was only a little, now it was growing. He felt her. Her pulse, her livliness, her pain. She loved him. He loved her. There was nothing that they would let destroy that.
END
Authors note: So you like ya? Sorry about the sappy ending. Can't help it, I love Buffy and Spike together! I don't like this chapter though. I am no good at love stories.. Please R&R, it is appreatieced! Thanks to the people who reviewed before. Builds up my confidence you know?