I Wont Fear Love
By Rachel
Rating: PG
Summary: Future; Angel/Cordelia;
Cordelia tries to hold on to her new family and Angel, but her husband wont
allow her to have it all, and Cordelia's faced with the hardest decision of her
life.
Part 3:
"It's getting late. I've got to get
Evelyn home…John's going to be there, if he isn't already, and I don't want him
to worry." The guys walked Cordelia out to her car. It was after six thirty.
"God, today was so great, you can't
even begin to imagine!" Cordelia beamed as she strapped Evelyn's carrier into
its base converting it to a car seat in the backseat of her Mercedes. "WOW! To
think, all that I got done today!" She went on. "I LOVE work! I love it! It
gives me such a sense of…of…"
"Cordelia?"
"Accomplishment! I really hate to have
to leave. I wish I could just stay all night, like old times!"
"Cordelia?" Angel repeated again,
giving the car a sideways glance and standing back a few feet. Wesley and Gunn
stood to stare beside him.
"What?" She asked, turning around.
"Your tire's flat."
"Huh?" She looked down. "Ah, dammit!"
She stamped her foot and wrinkled her nose. Silently, she imagined the clock
ticking away. She'd already stayed too late as it was, and she was sort of
starting to worry about getting home too late. She didn't want to fight with
John. She looked down at the tire again. The Powers must be against her. The
Powers wanted to ruin her marriage, she just knew it. She didn't need their
help when she did a well enough job of that on her own. Besides the sexual
frustration that comes after having a baby, there was this whole thing about
work…and Angel…and an attitude from her husband that she just didn't need.
Cordelia sighed in frustration and crossed her arms sourly. There was no way
around it. "Now I'm going to be late!"
"You got a spare?" Gunn asked. "We can
fix it right quick."
"I dunno." Cordelia shrugged. "Maybe?"
"Maybe?" Angel repeated slightly
amused. He and Gunn shared a smirk.
"I dunno." She rolled her eyes. "Where
would it be?"
"Ah, the trunk I'd presume," Wesley
adjusted his glasses. Cordelia gave him a 'DUH' look as he circled the car
around to the driver's side and opened the driver's door. Cordelia removed
Evelyn from the car seat and held her, bouncing her slightly.
"I was kidding,"
"Sure you were." Gunn now rolled his eyes.
"I was. You really think I'm that
daft?" Cordelia wrinkled her nose and started to feel annoyed.
"Of course you were kidding." Angel
jumped in, quick to spare her feelings. "You were kidding," He glanced at the
other two men and then decided to try for extra Brownie points. "Of course you
were kidding, and then you said you didn't know, and then you tricked Wesley,"
Anything at Wesley's expense. Wesley gave him a pained expression. "Wesley
thought you were serious. And so did Gunn," Now Gunn gave him a pained
expression. Angel stammered on, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I…I
thought it was funny. Hehe! See, I'm laughing! It was funny, Cordy…you're a…a
funny girl." Okay, now he was talking way too much. "It was…funny."
Cordelia shot him a big smile. Angel
smiled back and looked away shyly.
"Pop the trunk, yo, and lets have a
look." Gunn dragged Angel to the trunk of the car and waited. After a second it
snapped, and propped open a few inches. Gunn lifted the trunk lid and he and
Angel started rummaging through all the stuff in the back. Wesley joined the
others at the back of the car.
"Maybe its under here," Angel said,
shoving a bunch of old shopping bags out of the way.
"My, my, Cordelia," Wesley shook his
head. "Seriously, I think you're in need of Shop-a-holics Anonymous. Look at
all of these shopping bags!"
Cordelia said nothing but scowled, and
after a moment of watching over their shoulders, they reigned victorious, and
Angel pulled the spare tire from the debris of the trunk.
"You got a jack?" Gunn asked. Cordelia
gave him the same confused look as when he'd asked about the spare. "Ah,
Nevermind!" He said disgustedly.
"There's one in my trunk," Angel
smiled, steadying the tire on the edge of the trunk as he dug through his
pocket for his keys. He tossed the keys to Gunn and Gunn headed over to the
Plymouth…still in mint condition, Cordelia thought, and after all these years…
It hadn't aged a bit; just like Angel.
A few moments later, Angel was
unscrewing the flat and replacing it with the spare.
"There." He said gruffly as he forced
the last nut into place. Slowly Gunn let the jack down, and to their
astonishment, the tire was still flat.
"Dammit." Cordelia sighed. "Did you put
the wrong one back!"
"What do you think this is?" Gunn asked.
"I Love Lucy? No, we didn't put the wrong one back!"
"Cordy," Angel asked, cocking his head
to look up at her. "How long has this spare been in your trunk?"
"I don't know!" She snapped. "I let
John worry about all that stuff."
"Oh, bother." Wesley mumbled looking
away.
Evelyn started to fuss.
"Just great! How am I supposed to get
home now?" Cordelia huffed, bouncing her daughter to silence her.
"I'll take you," Angel said, rising to
his feet and wiping his greasy hands on an old rag. "Leave your car here, and
tomorrow, the guys can take the tire to get it repaired."
"And how do I get here tomorrow?" She
asked.
"I can pick you up," Wesley said.
"Okay…what time?"
"Oh, around noon or so?"
"Okay, that's fine, I guess." Cordelia
scowled at the car. It just figures something like this would happen. She
looked at her watch and sighed. John would definitely be getting home any
minute, and now he'd question where she'd been. And she'd have to tell him the
truth.
The guys had started to transfer her
things from her car to Angel's and Cordelia stood back, watching as she held
Evelyn. When everything was done, all she had to do was strap Evelyn back into
the car seat, say her good byes to Gunn and Wes, and get in the car herself.
Angel steered the car out of the parking garage and out into the street.
It was just after dusk.
"Thanks for letting me come back
today." Cordelia said from the passenger's side. Angel glanced over at her
before looking back to the road and smiling.
"Thanks for coming back. You got a lot
of stuff in order. We were about to drown in all those books."
"Yeah," She said caustically. "I
noticed."
Angel looked at her again. "Things
okay?" He asked quizzically.
Cordelia straightened up in her seat.
"Of course. Why wouldn't they be?"
"I don't know." Angel shrugged.
"Just…just you seem…tense, all of a sudden."
"Oh?" She reminded herself to relax.
"Yeah…sort of the way you were last
week at dinner."
Oh. That.
"I don't know what you mean." Cordelia
lied cheerily. She sat up straight and glanced back in the backseat at Evelyn,
grinning brightly when she met her baby's sleepy eyes. Evelyn's lips curled up
at the edges and she shoved her fingers into her mouth.
"That little argument you were having
with John," Angel said, the color of the streetlights flowing over them in
lines through the shadows as they rode along. He shrugged. "I know there's
tension…I imagine things have been tough for you guys lately, and, even though
I don't really know what's going on, well, you know you can talk to me if you need
to."
"Angel. Things are fine." She said
flippantly. She turned to stare out her window and Angel cocked his head at
her.
"Is the baby wearing you out?"
"No!" She forced a laugh. "Angel.
Things. Are. Fine."
"Is it something with John?"
Her face fell slightly but she
shrugged. "Angel, no…"
"Is it something with me?"
Cordelia went silent.
Angel hadn't really expected it when he
said it, but now that he had, he got the feeling that he had pinpointed the
situation. He glanced at Cordelia, sitting stiffly to his right. Her eyes were
fixated straight ahead, and he didn't need to wait for the trail of a
streetlight to fall across her features to know that she was in sudden
conflict.
"Cordy? Did I do something?" He asked in earnest. "Is John—are
you—are you mad at me?"
"No, Angel." She sighed. "No. You haven't done anything."
"Then why—"
"It's not about you, okay?" She looked
over at him then. "It's not about you. It's me. It's not about you, so just
drop it. Okay?"
He was about to say something else when
the look on her face stopped him. He shrugged in agreement and kept on driving.
Cordelia retired to stare out her window again, Evelyn fell asleep in the back,
and fifteen minutes later, they had reached her house.
"Thank you for the ride," She said as
she began to get out of the car.
"Need some help?" Angel asked, jumping
from his seat. He was already out of the car and at her side as she started to
lift a very drowsy Evelyn from the car seat.
"No," Cordelia said. "I think I can
manage."
"Are you sure?" He asked, holding the
door wide as she stepped back. She eyed her things, and then her sleeping
daughter.
"Well…"
Before she could say anything more, he
began gathering up her things; car seat, diaper bag, purse, which was actually
much heavier than it looked he noticed as he swung it over his shoulder with
the diaper bag, all in one swoop.
"Nice handbag," She mused, turning to
walk towards the house. "It goes great with your outfit."
"I try." He said dryly.
As they walked towards the house,
Cordelia began to feel uneasy. She knew John's car was in the garage, she could
feel it. She took a deep breath as they reached the front door, but before she
could even take up the door handle, the door was swinging open and John was
standing sternly before her.
"Where've you been?"
It wasn't a question exactly;
definitely a reprimand.
"Angel's," She mumbled, eyeing him and
then trying to move past him. His body stopped her and he gave her a hard look
before finally acknowledging Angel's presence.
"Cordy came over and straightened up
the office," Angel said, unable to ignore the thick tension between the couple.
It was enough to make him want to run and hide. He could imagine how it was
making Cordelia feel. He glanced quickly at Cordelia, trying to read her face,
but all he saw was a brick wall. Whatever was going on between them, she wasn't
about to falter with it. John held the same stony expression. It was a grudge
match.
"…she would have been home sooner, but
she got a flat. Tire that is," Angel added, compelled to go on as John remained
quiet. "Her car's in my garage, Gunn's going to have it fixed tomorrow. So…I
brought her home."
"Well. That's nice of you."
Finally, a response.
"Sure." Angel shrugged, still holding
everything.
"Let me help you with that," John started.
"Oh, I got it." But John was already
taking everything.
"I appreciate you giving Cord a ride
home," John stated formally. He ducked back into the house and dropped the
things in a heap on the floor. He still hadn't let Cordelia pass. Now he
reached out for the baby. Reluctantly, Cordelia handed her over. Angel looked
from one face to the other apprehensively. Putting his hands on his hips, he
waited for whatever was brewing to explode. John didn't pay either of them mind
now, just talked quietly to his baby. He still blocked the entrance, as if not
to let Cordelia pass. Angel was about to say something.
"Angel, let me walk you back to the
car," Cordelia said suddenly, turning to her friend and offering a slight
smile. Angel frowned.
"Okay."
She turned and started back down the
walkway. Angel followed, letting his eyes linger on John and the infant in a
brief moment of hesitation. John, still cooing to the baby, turned around and
walked inside without saying another word.
Cordelia tried to act carefree. She
walked with a swing in her hips and a small smile on her lips. Angel saw
through it.
"So!" She said cheerily. "I guess I'll
see you tomorrow,"
"Yeah." Angel responded. They were at
the car again.
"Again, thanks for the ride home."
"No sweat."
"See ya later." Cordelia turned to go
back, but Angel caught her wrist. When she turned around, it was slowly, with
her eyes averted to the pavement and her lips turned down slightly. Angel
sighed.
"Cordelia, if you need me, call me."
She nodded her head silently.
His fingers lingered in hers before he
let them drop and again she turned away. He got in his car, but watched until
she got safely inside the house and the door closed fully before starting the
ignition and pulling away. He thought about her the whole way home…
"CORDELIA! I FORBID IT!"
"YOU CAN'T FORBID ANYTHING!"
"THE HELL I CAN! SHE'S MY DAUGHTER
TOO!"
"I KNOW SHE IS! DAMMIT, BUT SHE'S ALSO
MINE, AND I HAVE A RIGHT,"
"YOU DON'T HAVE A RIGHT TO PUT HER IN
DANGER!"
"SHE'S NOT IN DANGER, JOHN!!! WHY CAN'T
YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!"
"EVERY TIME YOU PUT HER WITHIN A BLOCK
OF THAT GUY, SHE'S IN DANGER."
"JOHN!!!" Cordelia was at a loss.
"John! Don't be stupid! Angel's—"
"I'M NOT BEING STUPID. You just don't
get it! You don't get it at all! You're blinded! Completely blinded!"
"I'M NOT BLINDED TO ANYTHING!"
"YOU'RE COMPLETELY BLIND! HE'S A
FREAKING VAMPIRE, CORDELIA! A V A M P I
R E!!"
"HE HAS A SOUL, DAMMIT! HE'S NOT A
MONSTER!"
"HE DRINKS BLOOD! HE CAN'T GO OUT INTO
THE DAYLIGHT! HE'S STRONGER THAN SUPERMAN!" John was pacing furiously now, in
circles around Cordelia. "HE CAN SNAP A SPINE IN ONE PINCH! Tell me honestly
that's not a monster! Tell me honestly that you don't find that remotely
dangerous?"
"Not with Evelyn!" She cried out
uselessly. "Not with Evelyn! Not Angel!"
"You're putting him first." John spat
and walked away.
"I...I am not!"
"You are!" he yelled from the hallway.
"You're putting that demon first!"
"I am not! You're crazy!"
But he was already gone, disappearing
deeper into the house somewhere.
'Coward,' Cordelia thought. 'Run and
hide! Go ahead!' And then Evelyn started to cry.
"Oh my god," She cursed. She scooped up the baby from the sofa
where John had left her when the argument began. She held the baby against her
chest, cupping her head to her shoulder and shushing her as she cried. The
baby's wails continued. Cordelia felt like crying herself.
Angel returned to the Hyperion and
eyeing Cordelia's Mercedes, he slowly got out of the car.
John's behavior had pissed him off. Who
the hell did he think he was to treat Cordelia like that anyway? If things were
sour between them, whatever. It happens. Marriages fail. For Cordelia's sake,
he'd hoped it hadn't. He knew she loved John. But in his head, he was starting
to wonder if it wouldn't be a good thing...no stop thinking like that.
He knew something was up, exactly what
he wasn't sure. But he was positive he played some role in it. Cordelia's
behavior when he'd asked her about it earlier had confirmed that fear. What if
John didn't want her coming around anymore… But why? John knew how important
A.I. was to Cordy. And John knew how important Cordy was to A.I…to him. John
wouldn't try to make her give it up, would he? Give him up…
Angel thought back to the dinner party
when they'd been talking about work, and John just sat their, silent. Cordy had
been on the edge of her seat, listening, absorbing it all, looking envious.
John said nothing. He didn't add anything to the conversation. Not a damn
thing. He thought he was better then them. Now he thought Cordy was better than
them. Just because he was white collar? Angel shook his head. No. That wasn't
it. It was something else, John wasn't like that. He wasn't a snob…
Was it that he didn't think Cordy would
be safe? Angel wouldn't let her not be. He wouldn't let her do any work that
would put her in any danger. John knew that. John KNEW how much Angel loved
her…
Angel stopped.
Was that it? He knew he loved her? He
was jealous?
Would he be, though? He knew Angel
loved her, but he didn't know the extent of it. He didn't know Angel was "in
love" with her, or had ever been. Angel had kept that secret hidden forever. NO
ONE knew. He'd even made himself forget it for a while… But had he slipped? Had
he said something? Had he reacted to her somehow in front of John that led John
to believe otherwise? Angel didn't think so. By now, his actions were
formulated and concise. He didn't make mistakes. He didn't let things slip. No,
his secret was still safe…
Angel had always supported their
marriage. Sometimes he thought it'd kill him, but he was just happy to see
Cordelia happy. She was happy with John. John gave her everything that he knew
he never could. Angel wasn't jealous; he envied John, but he was never jealous.
Jealousy was a selfish action, and Angel didn't deserve to be selfish. Jealous,
no. Angry, sure. If John was going to treat Cordelia this way… Up until now,
Angel had never had anything against John.
So was it something John had against
him?
Ah, too much thinking! Maybe Angel was
making more out of it then he should have been. Maybe it was just a lover's
quarrel, a domestic spat. Entering the lobby, he took off his coat with a sigh.
"Angel we've got to go," Wesley said in
all urgency as he and Gunn came rushing out of his office.
"Huh?" Angel said, slightly dazed.
"We. Go. Now. Not that hard to
understand,"
Angel snapped to attention and again
put on his coat. He snatched the battleaxe Gunn tossed to him in mid-flight,
and followed the other two men out to Gunn's truck.
"Where are we going?" He asked.
"Got a call," Gunn explained. "Gang of
Vamps on West Sunset."
"Yes," Wesley said gruffly. "They
apparently did a home invasion and have killed two people. The maid hid, and
called us,"
"Home invasion?" Angel repeated
disturbed. "They're using tactics now?"
"Not for long,"
"They'll be dust soon," Gunn said
surely. The three of them climbed into the tricked out truck and Gunn started
the engine. "Guess it's time to visit the rich side of town. That would be a
first, huh?"
Angel grumbled, his adrenaline rising
for the fight.
"Let's go."
"It's my job," She said quietly as she
slipped into bed. Cordelia had just fed Evelyn and put her to sleep in her
crib. It was late, after eleven. John gave her a scathing look. This is the
first time they'd spoke since he'd walked away from her hours before. She was
trying her best to work her way back in; get past his defenses, and make him
open up to her enough to let him see her point of view. She was sure if he gave
her a chance, he'd see it. And she could fix it. John…John was always such a
fair, caring, man.
"John, please…I don't want to fight."
"Then make your decision."
This earned him a hard stare. Cordelia almost didn't believe him.
"John. Don't make me do this."
"Cordelia, make your decision. It's him or us."
"John!"
"Him. Or. Us."
She sat quietly.
"Him. Or. US."
Cordelia scowled. So much for trying to get past his defenses…
"Us??? Or you? I'm
not about to choose you over Angel, so give that idea a rest! If you're
speaking about my daughter, then I choose my daughter! Over everyone! INCLUDING
YOU."
John flinched, but hid it. "I'm your
husband! You most certainly should be choosing me over him!"
"You're my husband," Cordelia
confirmed. "But he's my best friend. And my oldest…both in the literal and non
literal sense, duh! And he's taken care of me for years! You can't just make me
forget about him! You can't just make me cut him out of my life, that'd be like
me telling you you couldn't visit your parents anymore. That's what Angel is to
me,"
"Your family?" John mocked in a
sugary sweet voice.
"Yes." She growled, angered by his
tone.
"Well, he might have taken care of you
then, but I'm taking care of you now! I'm your family now, me and Evelyn, and
that's all you should need—"
"I have more needs than you could
handle," She muttered.
"Don't blame that one on me!" John
hissed. "You're the one putting the distance between us, if anything, blame
him."
"I can't blame Angel for something you
do." Cordelia said quietly. John closed the book he had had on his lap and
tossed it to the floor. He sat back hard against the headboard.
"Well, what would you like to do about
it!"
"Well, it'd be nice if just once, you'd
pay me some attention—"
"Doesn't Angel give you all the
attention you need?"
"John, please!"
"Well, I'm sorry, but it's hard for me
to even look at you sometimes,"
"Why! Why is that!"
"You don't make your self available to
me,"
"Available! What kind of bullshit is
that!"
"It's not bullshit, it's the truth!
"That's bullshit, John! And you know
it!"
"All I know is that I don't know my
wife anymore!"
"John!"
"I don't! We haven't had sex in
months!"
"So now you don't know me unless we're
having sex???"
"You know what I mean! You've been
preoccupied!"
"Excuse me, but I've been taking
care of our daughter, remember???"
"So now you're going
to use Evelyn as an excuse not to sleep with me?"
"Why not! You're using Angel!" Ah ha!
Victory! She saw him flinch. That's all she needed to railroad ahead with it.
"That is it, isn't it? You're blaming Angel for me not giving you any, because
you know that he can't get any, yet he still holds my attention better than you
ever have!" Cordelia had to stop herself from grinning at that remark. It was
low, and not fair to Angel at all, but the look on John's face was priceless. She'd
been taking so much shit from him lately, it was nice to send a little of it
back. But then John flung the covers away and stumbled off the bed to his feet.
He was seething. Dangerously. Cordelia
withdrew slightly into the covers, watching him carefully, not letting her eyes
flinch. He stared so angrily at her. He was so livid. She started to rethink
her strategy…she started to regret pushing it this far…
"OH DAMN YOU!" He finally hissed.
"John!!!" Cordelia's eyes went wide.
"John! John! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, where are you going!"
John was struggling to dress quickly, and by the look on his face,
completely furious.
"Where are you going!" Cordelia
demanded. But he wouldn't answer her. "John!" She barely had time to jump from
the bed before he was already dressed and halfway out the door into the
hallway. She followed him down the stairs to the garage door. John yanked his
coat out of the closet and pulled it on. Cordelia got between him and the door
and demanded to know where he was going at this late hour. John withdrew his
keys and threatened her to move.
"I WILL NOT!" She screamed.
"GET OUT OF MY WAY!"
"NOT UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE
GOING!"
"OUT! BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND TO BE IN
THE HOUSE WITH YOU FOR ANOTHER MINUTE!"
"JOHN!!!"
"CORDELIA! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!"
Then he grabbed her and pushed her, and
before she had time to catch herself, he was already out the door. Cordelia was
reeling, and by the time she got to the door herself, his car was already out
on the street pulling away. She listened to his tires peel out and then
listened as they screeched around the corner and disappeared into the night.
The automated garage door had slowly started to close, the shriek of metal
grinding a little as the weathered aluminum slid back into place.
Cordelia stood in her doorway, holding
the door with one firm hand. Her eyes had closed and her body was shaking with
intensity. That had to be the worst fight they'd ever had. He'd never laid a
hand on her before. Cordelia opened her eyes, grit her teeth and then slammed
the door closed with all her might. Her anger reverberated through the entire
house, and as tears burned in her eyes, Evelyn started to cry upstairs.
Cordelia rubbed her eyes hard, taking a deep focused breath before running up
the stairs to her child.
"Cordelia, if you want to work, I can't
stop you. But I can stop you from exposing our daughter to him. That much I can
do."
"You'll do no such thing!" She said,
outraged.
"CORDELIA," John stressed. He gave her
a cold look, and leaning in towards her, whispered bleakly, "Don't make me
force the issue. For your sake…please don't make me force the issue."
"John," She snapped, cocking her head
at him wryly. "Are you threatening me?"
Cordelia relived the entire
conversation over and over in her head as Wesley drove her to work.
John had returned home earlier that
morning sometime just after seven. He'd smelled like he'd slept in a bar all
night, and Cordelia wanted nothing to do with him. But he'd continued trying to
pick fights with her. And after he'd gotten showered and changed for work, he
came downstairs to the kitchen where Cordelia was washing dishes and where
Evelyn sat in her carrier on top of the kitchen table, and he grabbed up Evelyn
and started out the door to leave. That was when Cordelia had lost it.
He ended up taking her, and he'd had
every right… Evelyn was his daughter too. But Cordelia wasn't ready for Evelyn
to start bottle-feeding yet, and without her being there to nurse her,
bottle-feeding was just going to have to start sooner than she'd wanted. She
figured that John would rather keep Evelyn in his office with him all day than leave her at his company's day care,
and that was a slight relief. Not that she didn't trust John not to feed her at
the proper times, or change her diapers, or give her enough attention. He would
take care of her, Cordy knew he would. But Cordelia was nervous with the whole
situation. The fight, the baby… Plus, this was the first time since Evelyn had
been born that she'd been apart from her. Cordelia missed her. She chewed her
nails.
"How are you doing so far?" Wesley
asked. Cordelia looked over at Wesley. He smiled like he knew what she was
thinking…as if he'd been reading her mind. "Well, I assume there is some
anxiety over letting John take over with Evelyn, even if it is for just a day…"
Cordelia eased back in her seat. She felt like she might throw up. "I bet John
was excited though, the proud father getting to take her to work for the day.
Ah, he must be so pleased!"
"Uh, yeah," Cordelia mumbled. "He was."
She hadn't told Wesley anything about
the argument. She didn't plan on telling anyone. If she could, she'd forget
about it for the rest of the day, enjoy some peace and quiet…if you could call
working at A.I. peace and quiet, and she would deal with it all later. Always
later. Always later…things just seemed too hard at the moment.
"Hey," Angel said, getting up from his
place at his desk to welcome her.
"Hey," She mustered with a tired smile.
"You okay?" He asked, his senses
perceiving an uneasiness about her. Wesley walked past and into his office,
leaving the two of them alone for the moment. He stared at her thoughtfully,
gently touching the small of her back with his fingers as he turned to walk
with her towards her own desk, now cleaned and organized and ready for her
return. Angel wouldn't say it, but he was so excited to have her back.
"I'm fine, Angel," She lied. "Just a
little tired is all, didn't sleep much last night."
"Where's Evelyn?"
"Oh. John took her." She looked down
sadly, but when her face rose again she was wearing a tight lipped smile,
adamant not to let her mood slip out. "Work. He took her to work with him.
Jealous, I guess, of all the time I've been getting to spend with her,"
"I see." Angel said shortly, crossing
his arms and staring.
"Yeah…so, you just get me today!" She
made the effort to add a little laugh to her sentence, and she sat down
carelessly on the edge of her desk, dropping her bag next to her. Angel circled
softly to her right.
"You didn't have to come in, you know,
if things are…well,"
"Oh, Angel!" Cordelia smiled, bigger,
brighter, and pushed at his arm gently. "Really, don't. I'm here. I'm ready.
I'm willing to work! Don't worry about my home life. I'm here as an employee."
He regarded her thoughtfully.
"A partner." He corrected her.
"Huh?"
"Partner, Cordy. You're a partner.
Always have been."
"Ah, yes!" She grinned now, slightly
loosening up. Angel was glad to see her smiling genuinely. She started to shrug
off her coat and he came around, behind her, to help her take it off. Cordelia smiled to herself, pausing as she
felt his cool fingertips skim her shoulders, pulling the fabric away. She
pushed last night's fight out of her head, and put her efforts into their
conversation.
"I am so ready to work, Angel."
"Good, because Gunn's out doing some
legwork on a new case…"
Cordelia looked up at him anxiously. He
smiled, shaking his head, and her grin faltered in minor disappointment.
"When he gets back." Angel went on to
promise. "He'll be back in about an hour. Oh, and I had him take the tire in
this morning, so when he gets back with it, I'll fix your car."
"Eh," Cordy waived her hand flippantly.
"I'm in no rush, I kind of like carpooling," She smiled again. "It reminds me
of old times, when I was car-less. Remember?"
"Like it was yesterday,"
"God. This is so good!" She exclaimed.
She'd risen from the desk and walked around to her desk chair. She spilled
herself down into it, stretching her fingers and then reached forward to turn
on her laptop.
"I found this," Angel said
suddenly, reaching down to pull open the top drawer of her desk. Cordelia's
head turned down to follow his hand. He reached in and pulled out her old
nameplate…'Cordelia Chase' it read engrained in bold letters. Cordelia smirked
and reached for it.
"Cool."
"I suppose I should order a new
one…with 'Taylor' on it,. We never did, you know, even after the wedding,"
"Nah." Cordy said too quickly, taking
the plate and plopping it down at the edge of her desk. She stared at it
enthusiastically, and then turned in her seat to look up at him; her eyes
looking so much like the 19 year old Cordelia that he remembered sitting in
this desk for the first time…well, not this desk per say. That desk had burned
up in a fire, but it was a desk, and it was working with him, so it felt the
same. He must've started to look nostalgic because she looked at him with an
acknowledging reluctance, and said, "Brings back memories, doesn't it?"
"Yeah."
She turned around in her chair and
busily started to play with her computer.
"God I hope I can still do this. I'm
out of practice!"
"You can do it."
"You know, it's been so long, I even
almost forgot I was 'Vision Girl.' Talk about old times…those days are LONG
gone, huh?"
Angel circled softly around the desk
again, to her left now, and very much wanting to reach out and touch her hair,
refrained; instead answering serenely,
"You'll always be my Vision Girl."
Cordelia turned back, regarding him
with bright, youthful eyes.
