Does "Loreanne of Mindelan" sound too fakey? It doesn't ring right in my ears.
Maybe it's because I know I'm really Kel, Keladry at best. At any rate, it's
far too late to change it now. King Jonathan's allowing any noble who wishes it
to come in announced, so here I am, standing nicely in line and looking nervous.
I should probably be chattering with these people. That's what ladies do,
right?
"Excuse me, are you new at court?" A man that I've never seen flashes perfect
teeth at me. Great. This is just great for my nerves.
"I arrived this afternoon for the ball," I murmur, not meeting his eyes.
"Allow me to introduce myself… Or perhaps that's up to the herald," he jokes
as he heads out the door. Whoops, didn't catch his name. Darn.
All right, this is just ridiculous. I've been standing here long enough to
make myself thoroughly nervous. Maybe everybody else is, too. They certainly
seem quiet. I'm rather glad that I don't know anybody in court. My disguise is
seeming thinner and thinner every minute.
Finally, I hear my name. I step out the door. It's probably a good thing that
the light blinds me, although I certainly don't need any help to look like an
idiot. I try to think of what Oranie would do in this situation and do it
rather than look at the millions of people who are all staring straight at me.
Yeah, right. There are so many people being announced that I'm sure everyone
stopped paying attention long ago. Maybe he's looking, though. I hope so.
I know I'm going to fall down the stairs. I can see it happening right now.
And then my wig will fall off and everyone will laugh at me. My true idiocy
revealed.
Well, I made it to the bottom, at least. There's enough people here. What if
I never find him, and I spend all evening wandering around in this stupid getup
for nothing? What if I do find him and he recognizes me and gets a good laugh
out of this? What if he doesn't recognize me but decides I look like a cow and
doesn't think of "Loreanne" ever again?
Goddess. I wish I could shut my brain off. Other ladies certainly seem to
have that talent. I suppose I'm sticking out like a sore thumb, wandering
around without saying a word to anybody. Maybe I'll try to look shy and
maidenly. Heck, I AM shy. I don't know about the rest of it.
Where are all of the squires? Don't tell my Lord Wyldon found a mission for
them at the last minute and they're all off doing something useful while I
wander around here! I hate this. I can feel people looking at me. I know
they're not. What difference do I make to anyone here? But it seems as though
every eye in the place is glued to the front of my gown. I miss my nice tunics
that cover everything up to my neck.
Oh, Mithros. There he is. I can hardly breathe, he looks so handsome. Who am
I trying to trick? It's not like that's a new experience. What now?
I hate the Tortallan court. Every time a new lady with the least bit of looks
shows up and they circle the wagons. I must not be up to much. There's no ring
around me. You know, this is really dumb. I must not look as good as I
thought. I'd better go.
I turn to leave. It's really a bit gratifying, actually. Maybe I did attract
a ring. I was too busy striding out to look for Neal to notice, and most of the
little court boys couldn't keep up. Great. I'll bask in the glory for a
moment, and soon enough Neal will join the circle. Goddess knows I've been at
enough balls to know where he'll drift.
I have to admit, I've almost enjoyed dancing the night away with perfect
strangers who mutter lovely things at me and seem quite smitten with my newfound
charms. I suppose I've worked through my quota. I've danced with more court
men than I've met in all of my years in the palace. It's time to give Neal a
try.
I brush past a few hopeful faces, ignoring their offers to take me for a spin
around the dance floor. I try to look like I'm headed for the refreshments
rather than making a bee-line for Neal. "Would my lady like something to
drink?" he asks.
Great. I'm blushing. Nice. "Yes, please."
"Anything in specific?"
I hate blood. I hate my face. I hate this dress. I hate everything. "I think
I'll leave myself in your hands."
Wow. I actually didn't sound too stupid. I plop – wait. I'm a lady. I don't
plop. I alight. I alight on a chair someone has chivalrously vacated for me
and fan myself weakly with one hand. When Neal shows up with an iced drink, I
smile gratefully at him and sip at it while I try to engage him in conversation.
Other males seem to be glaring at him. For the first time in my life, I
understand why Oranie enjoys these things so much.
"May I have this dance?" I get up from my chair and into Neal's arms. He's a
better dancer now than he ever has been in etiquette class. Maybe it's just
that I have the leisure to be drunk on the full force of his eyes – plus
whatever was in that cup he brought me. I'm glad he seems to be as lost in my
face as I usually am in his. Come to think of it, he might recognize my voice
if I talk too much.
Oh, no. He seems to be snapping out of it. "Are you related to Keladry of
Mindelan? She is a good friend of mine."
"Yes. We're very close." Great. I'm blushing again. I just want to smack
myself in the head. Now THAT would go over well. I can feel the etiquette master's heart failing at the very thought.
"She's been holding out on me." Neal smiled and I could feel myself melt.
That boy has more charm than he's a right to.
I'm blushing again. Maybe if I just look down and flutter my eyelashes a
little… It works for my sisters.
The music's stopped. I guess it's my turn. "You're a wonderful dancer. May I
beg just one more song?"
Lovely. That last sentence didn't even make sense. I'm sure I sound stupider
than usual. Maybe that's in character.
No one recognizes me. Might as well… As we whirl around the dance floor, I do
a very unladylike thing. I step closer to him, close enough that I can feel his
breath on my face. It's nice to see his eyes snap the way mine always do when
he touches me by accident.
It's hard to concentrate on anything but his face. Ummm. Perfect teeth,
perfect eyes, perfect nose… And he's staring at me like he means it, like I'm
the most wonderful thing he's ever seen. It's far too good to be true. The
music fades out far too soon. I wish it'd keep on forever.
Maybe not. "Would you like to go for a walk in the gardens?" I slip my hand
into his and head in that general direction. The best thing about pretending to
be someone else is that I can do things like that and never have them pinned on
me. I know I'd never have the courage in real life. Which I will have to go
back to in a few hours…
I will NOT think too much! I refuse to spoil this by thinking about it. Instead, I'll enjoy every
minute of our walk in the gardens. We chat about everything that's happening in
the kingdom, and I let Neal talk about his training for a while mostly because I
can look at him without really paying attention to what he's saying. It's nice
that he's at least trying to carry on a real conversation with the mysterious
new lady. I'm glad he's after intellect, somehow.
I keep avoiding the dark corners. Much as I want Neal to kiss me, I want him
to know what he's doing, first. If I can work up the courage to tell him the
truth…
I'm almost grateful for the bell that breaks up my little idyll in the gardens.
"I'd best go. I don't want to keep my ride waiting."
I turn to go, but he grabs my hand and brushes his lips against it. "Will I…
Will you… Will I see you again?"
"Ask Keladry. She'll know how to find me."
Idiot. I can't BELIEVE I said that.
Maybe it's because I know I'm really Kel, Keladry at best. At any rate, it's
far too late to change it now. King Jonathan's allowing any noble who wishes it
to come in announced, so here I am, standing nicely in line and looking nervous.
I should probably be chattering with these people. That's what ladies do,
right?
"Excuse me, are you new at court?" A man that I've never seen flashes perfect
teeth at me. Great. This is just great for my nerves.
"I arrived this afternoon for the ball," I murmur, not meeting his eyes.
"Allow me to introduce myself… Or perhaps that's up to the herald," he jokes
as he heads out the door. Whoops, didn't catch his name. Darn.
All right, this is just ridiculous. I've been standing here long enough to
make myself thoroughly nervous. Maybe everybody else is, too. They certainly
seem quiet. I'm rather glad that I don't know anybody in court. My disguise is
seeming thinner and thinner every minute.
Finally, I hear my name. I step out the door. It's probably a good thing that
the light blinds me, although I certainly don't need any help to look like an
idiot. I try to think of what Oranie would do in this situation and do it
rather than look at the millions of people who are all staring straight at me.
Yeah, right. There are so many people being announced that I'm sure everyone
stopped paying attention long ago. Maybe he's looking, though. I hope so.
I know I'm going to fall down the stairs. I can see it happening right now.
And then my wig will fall off and everyone will laugh at me. My true idiocy
revealed.
Well, I made it to the bottom, at least. There's enough people here. What if
I never find him, and I spend all evening wandering around in this stupid getup
for nothing? What if I do find him and he recognizes me and gets a good laugh
out of this? What if he doesn't recognize me but decides I look like a cow and
doesn't think of "Loreanne" ever again?
Goddess. I wish I could shut my brain off. Other ladies certainly seem to
have that talent. I suppose I'm sticking out like a sore thumb, wandering
around without saying a word to anybody. Maybe I'll try to look shy and
maidenly. Heck, I AM shy. I don't know about the rest of it.
Where are all of the squires? Don't tell my Lord Wyldon found a mission for
them at the last minute and they're all off doing something useful while I
wander around here! I hate this. I can feel people looking at me. I know
they're not. What difference do I make to anyone here? But it seems as though
every eye in the place is glued to the front of my gown. I miss my nice tunics
that cover everything up to my neck.
Oh, Mithros. There he is. I can hardly breathe, he looks so handsome. Who am
I trying to trick? It's not like that's a new experience. What now?
I hate the Tortallan court. Every time a new lady with the least bit of looks
shows up and they circle the wagons. I must not be up to much. There's no ring
around me. You know, this is really dumb. I must not look as good as I
thought. I'd better go.
I turn to leave. It's really a bit gratifying, actually. Maybe I did attract
a ring. I was too busy striding out to look for Neal to notice, and most of the
little court boys couldn't keep up. Great. I'll bask in the glory for a
moment, and soon enough Neal will join the circle. Goddess knows I've been at
enough balls to know where he'll drift.
I have to admit, I've almost enjoyed dancing the night away with perfect
strangers who mutter lovely things at me and seem quite smitten with my newfound
charms. I suppose I've worked through my quota. I've danced with more court
men than I've met in all of my years in the palace. It's time to give Neal a
try.
I brush past a few hopeful faces, ignoring their offers to take me for a spin
around the dance floor. I try to look like I'm headed for the refreshments
rather than making a bee-line for Neal. "Would my lady like something to
drink?" he asks.
Great. I'm blushing. Nice. "Yes, please."
"Anything in specific?"
I hate blood. I hate my face. I hate this dress. I hate everything. "I think
I'll leave myself in your hands."
Wow. I actually didn't sound too stupid. I plop – wait. I'm a lady. I don't
plop. I alight. I alight on a chair someone has chivalrously vacated for me
and fan myself weakly with one hand. When Neal shows up with an iced drink, I
smile gratefully at him and sip at it while I try to engage him in conversation.
Other males seem to be glaring at him. For the first time in my life, I
understand why Oranie enjoys these things so much.
"May I have this dance?" I get up from my chair and into Neal's arms. He's a
better dancer now than he ever has been in etiquette class. Maybe it's just
that I have the leisure to be drunk on the full force of his eyes – plus
whatever was in that cup he brought me. I'm glad he seems to be as lost in my
face as I usually am in his. Come to think of it, he might recognize my voice
if I talk too much.
Oh, no. He seems to be snapping out of it. "Are you related to Keladry of
Mindelan? She is a good friend of mine."
"Yes. We're very close." Great. I'm blushing again. I just want to smack
myself in the head. Now THAT would go over well. I can feel the etiquette master's heart failing at the very thought.
"She's been holding out on me." Neal smiled and I could feel myself melt.
That boy has more charm than he's a right to.
I'm blushing again. Maybe if I just look down and flutter my eyelashes a
little… It works for my sisters.
The music's stopped. I guess it's my turn. "You're a wonderful dancer. May I
beg just one more song?"
Lovely. That last sentence didn't even make sense. I'm sure I sound stupider
than usual. Maybe that's in character.
No one recognizes me. Might as well… As we whirl around the dance floor, I do
a very unladylike thing. I step closer to him, close enough that I can feel his
breath on my face. It's nice to see his eyes snap the way mine always do when
he touches me by accident.
It's hard to concentrate on anything but his face. Ummm. Perfect teeth,
perfect eyes, perfect nose… And he's staring at me like he means it, like I'm
the most wonderful thing he's ever seen. It's far too good to be true. The
music fades out far too soon. I wish it'd keep on forever.
Maybe not. "Would you like to go for a walk in the gardens?" I slip my hand
into his and head in that general direction. The best thing about pretending to
be someone else is that I can do things like that and never have them pinned on
me. I know I'd never have the courage in real life. Which I will have to go
back to in a few hours…
I will NOT think too much! I refuse to spoil this by thinking about it. Instead, I'll enjoy every
minute of our walk in the gardens. We chat about everything that's happening in
the kingdom, and I let Neal talk about his training for a while mostly because I
can look at him without really paying attention to what he's saying. It's nice
that he's at least trying to carry on a real conversation with the mysterious
new lady. I'm glad he's after intellect, somehow.
I keep avoiding the dark corners. Much as I want Neal to kiss me, I want him
to know what he's doing, first. If I can work up the courage to tell him the
truth…
I'm almost grateful for the bell that breaks up my little idyll in the gardens.
"I'd best go. I don't want to keep my ride waiting."
I turn to go, but he grabs my hand and brushes his lips against it. "Will I…
Will you… Will I see you again?"
"Ask Keladry. She'll know how to find me."
Idiot. I can't BELIEVE I said that.