"Kel! KEL!"
"Mmmmmm?" Goddess. I've never been so tired in my life.
"It's past breakfast time! Get up!"
Oh, Mithros. On the morning after I've been given a special privilege I'm going to be late for breakfast. Maybe I should kill myself now and save Lord Wyldon and my fellows the trouble. "Give me a moment!"
I don't even have time to splash water on my face. In fact, I really haven't got enough time to throw a tunic on. There, I haven't really got a choice.
I burst out of the door, trying to flatten my bedhead into some semblance of order, cursing myself for missing practice and making myself late to boot. There's Neal, grinning like an idiot. I swear, you can see every one of his teeth. "Since when do you crack a smile before noon?"
"Since I rousted you out of bed on a holiday."
"What are you talking about?" Those bags under his eyes make him look even nicer - like he's been in a fight. I like it.
"The king asked my lord Stump to observe the holiday. It's well past breakfast time. It's just that it doesn't matter."
"And you simply couldn't resist hauling me out of a sound sleep."
"Naturally. We don't see you out of order very often."
"Well, you won't be seeing it for long." I close the door in his face. He pushes it right back open again.
"And you say I'M growly in the mornings!"
"I'm beginning to see your side of it." Goddess, my head hurts! What was in that drink?
I swab my face clean quickly. Thank the goddess that I had to bathe to get rid of that gods-cursed paint before I could sleep! As I run a brush through my mussed hair, Neal spins in a circle and lands on my bed with a plumph. "Last night I met an angel... Oh, Kel, she was perfect. Beautiful beyond words and SO smart!" He sighed. "She knew every philosophy I brought up, discussed current events with me... She's a goddess." "I thought you said she was an angel." I grin wickedly. This is almost too good to be true. To think, he's saying these things about ME...
He chucks a pillow at me. "You know what I mean - in more ways than one. Kel, you've been holding out on me!"
I look up, pretending to be startled. "What ARE you talking about?"
"Your... Ummm, come to think of it she never really said... Your relation Loreanne."
I grin. "I suppose I was subconsciously trying to protect her."
"Ouch! I'm wounded."
"Seems to happen rather frequently when we spar." I'm a big, brave girl. I punch him lightly on the shoulder. Remind me not to wash my hands for a while. Like, maybe a week. "Now get off my bed so I can make it."
The unexpected day off is a great for everyone. We'd all slaved over our homework to have it done for today, so for the most part everyone was free to do as they pleased all day. Leave it to me to pass up a trip to the city with my friends to sit on in on a poetry session with a certain green-eyed squire.
"C'mon," he'd said. "You know her. You can tell me whether I'm anywhere close." And then he gave me "The Look." What can I say? I'm weak. I melted. And I REALLY want to hear this. I know it's very dishonest. I'm teetering on the verge of not caring one whit.
"Are we accomplishing anything here?" I plop down in Neal's room, kicking the door open in case milord Wyldon puts in an appearance. "Or are you going to moon for days and then give it up entirely?"
"Kel, I think she's the one. Of all the souls the go floating through the world, I'm sure she's the one that's meant for me. She's perfect!"
"Just like Uliane, Daine, Thayet..." What am I saying?! Shut up, Kel! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Oh, I'm going to shut up, all right. That look in his eyes, they're all soft and faraway. I think he can see her... Me... "I'll admit that I've been a bit... infatuated from time to time. But... I think..." He sighs heavily. "I can't even manage to complete sentences. I think she's it, Kel. I want to spend the rest of my life with her."
I'm trying to say something, but there's no air in me. Not one breath. I suppose I look like an idiot, flapping my mouth open and closed with nothing coming out of it. But I don't care. I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be doing this to him. He's going to kill me when he finds out that his "goddess" is boring old Kel with a bit of packaging and a lot of lies.
I've got my lungs back in good working order again, but it's too late. "I wrote this last night," he half-whispers. "I'd like you to listen to it. If you think it's... it's worthy. If I'm worthy..." He pauses, closing his eyes. I've never felt so small in my life. How could I have been so selfish? Here he is, suffering over somebody who doesn't exist. His heart will break when he finds out. He'll never speak to me again. I don't blame him. I'm not sure I'm speaking to me.
"Listen, would you?" He's shaking his head to clear it, the way he always does. I wonder if he knows it. "One look at you and I knew
My life had changed forever.
I lay in bed at night remembering everything about you.
There's no use closing my eyes. Your face is burned on the back of my eyelids and into my brain.
My every waking thought is devoted to you.
I see you in bits of mist, flowers and cobblestones.
I would give anything if I only knew...
Do you stay awake and see me, too?"
Goddess. I'm going to cry. I hate myself. This is far worse than anything Joren ever did. Bruises heal in a few days. This, this might never be an old wound. "Very nice," I manage. "Except, it doesn't rhyme."
Great. I'm going to shatter everything anyway. I might as well be as rude as possible beforehand.
"You have no sense of literature," he says loftily. "The best poems never rhyme."
"I'll take your word for it." I try to smile as I get up. "I'd better get SOMETHING
useful done today. Want to hit the practice courts with me?"
"Not on your life." He flops back on his bed and sighs. "I have a lot of thinking
to do."
I'm all the way out the door when I feel his hand on my shoulder. Trying not
to blush noticeably, and failing miserably, I turn around. "You forgot the poem,"
he says, his eyes one big "Please?"
"All right." I snatch it. "I'll see that she gets it."
At least I'm telling the truth about something.
"Mmmmmm?" Goddess. I've never been so tired in my life.
"It's past breakfast time! Get up!"
Oh, Mithros. On the morning after I've been given a special privilege I'm going to be late for breakfast. Maybe I should kill myself now and save Lord Wyldon and my fellows the trouble. "Give me a moment!"
I don't even have time to splash water on my face. In fact, I really haven't got enough time to throw a tunic on. There, I haven't really got a choice.
I burst out of the door, trying to flatten my bedhead into some semblance of order, cursing myself for missing practice and making myself late to boot. There's Neal, grinning like an idiot. I swear, you can see every one of his teeth. "Since when do you crack a smile before noon?"
"Since I rousted you out of bed on a holiday."
"What are you talking about?" Those bags under his eyes make him look even nicer - like he's been in a fight. I like it.
"The king asked my lord Stump to observe the holiday. It's well past breakfast time. It's just that it doesn't matter."
"And you simply couldn't resist hauling me out of a sound sleep."
"Naturally. We don't see you out of order very often."
"Well, you won't be seeing it for long." I close the door in his face. He pushes it right back open again.
"And you say I'M growly in the mornings!"
"I'm beginning to see your side of it." Goddess, my head hurts! What was in that drink?
I swab my face clean quickly. Thank the goddess that I had to bathe to get rid of that gods-cursed paint before I could sleep! As I run a brush through my mussed hair, Neal spins in a circle and lands on my bed with a plumph. "Last night I met an angel... Oh, Kel, she was perfect. Beautiful beyond words and SO smart!" He sighed. "She knew every philosophy I brought up, discussed current events with me... She's a goddess." "I thought you said she was an angel." I grin wickedly. This is almost too good to be true. To think, he's saying these things about ME...
He chucks a pillow at me. "You know what I mean - in more ways than one. Kel, you've been holding out on me!"
I look up, pretending to be startled. "What ARE you talking about?"
"Your... Ummm, come to think of it she never really said... Your relation Loreanne."
I grin. "I suppose I was subconsciously trying to protect her."
"Ouch! I'm wounded."
"Seems to happen rather frequently when we spar." I'm a big, brave girl. I punch him lightly on the shoulder. Remind me not to wash my hands for a while. Like, maybe a week. "Now get off my bed so I can make it."
The unexpected day off is a great for everyone. We'd all slaved over our homework to have it done for today, so for the most part everyone was free to do as they pleased all day. Leave it to me to pass up a trip to the city with my friends to sit on in on a poetry session with a certain green-eyed squire.
"C'mon," he'd said. "You know her. You can tell me whether I'm anywhere close." And then he gave me "The Look." What can I say? I'm weak. I melted. And I REALLY want to hear this. I know it's very dishonest. I'm teetering on the verge of not caring one whit.
"Are we accomplishing anything here?" I plop down in Neal's room, kicking the door open in case milord Wyldon puts in an appearance. "Or are you going to moon for days and then give it up entirely?"
"Kel, I think she's the one. Of all the souls the go floating through the world, I'm sure she's the one that's meant for me. She's perfect!"
"Just like Uliane, Daine, Thayet..." What am I saying?! Shut up, Kel! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Oh, I'm going to shut up, all right. That look in his eyes, they're all soft and faraway. I think he can see her... Me... "I'll admit that I've been a bit... infatuated from time to time. But... I think..." He sighs heavily. "I can't even manage to complete sentences. I think she's it, Kel. I want to spend the rest of my life with her."
I'm trying to say something, but there's no air in me. Not one breath. I suppose I look like an idiot, flapping my mouth open and closed with nothing coming out of it. But I don't care. I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be doing this to him. He's going to kill me when he finds out that his "goddess" is boring old Kel with a bit of packaging and a lot of lies.
I've got my lungs back in good working order again, but it's too late. "I wrote this last night," he half-whispers. "I'd like you to listen to it. If you think it's... it's worthy. If I'm worthy..." He pauses, closing his eyes. I've never felt so small in my life. How could I have been so selfish? Here he is, suffering over somebody who doesn't exist. His heart will break when he finds out. He'll never speak to me again. I don't blame him. I'm not sure I'm speaking to me.
"Listen, would you?" He's shaking his head to clear it, the way he always does. I wonder if he knows it. "One look at you and I knew
My life had changed forever.
I lay in bed at night remembering everything about you.
There's no use closing my eyes. Your face is burned on the back of my eyelids and into my brain.
My every waking thought is devoted to you.
I see you in bits of mist, flowers and cobblestones.
I would give anything if I only knew...
Do you stay awake and see me, too?"
Goddess. I'm going to cry. I hate myself. This is far worse than anything Joren ever did. Bruises heal in a few days. This, this might never be an old wound. "Very nice," I manage. "Except, it doesn't rhyme."
Great. I'm going to shatter everything anyway. I might as well be as rude as possible beforehand.
"You have no sense of literature," he says loftily. "The best poems never rhyme."
"I'll take your word for it." I try to smile as I get up. "I'd better get SOMETHING
useful done today. Want to hit the practice courts with me?"
"Not on your life." He flops back on his bed and sighs. "I have a lot of thinking
to do."
I'm all the way out the door when I feel his hand on my shoulder. Trying not
to blush noticeably, and failing miserably, I turn around. "You forgot the poem,"
he says, his eyes one big "Please?"
"All right." I snatch it. "I'll see that she gets it."
At least I'm telling the truth about something.