Driver's Ed, Gundam Wing Style!
Heero ground his teeth together in fury as he pulled out of the small parking lot in the stupid looking student driver car. He already knew how to drive a car, but Duo had told him to get his license officially. All the paperwork should be straight, or the shit would hit the fan if the police decided to pull anyone of them over and want the information. Driver's ED seemed to be the easiest way to go. Unfortunately, not all of the pilot's got into the same class. Only Trowa was in Heero's class, and he sat in the back of the car, arms crossed, looking out the window.
Heero's driving instructor was a very fat, forty-year-old man who smelled like chocolate and sandwich meat. He took up the all of the passenger seat and part of the midway seat. Heero noted that he seemed to have trouble breathing at random times, as if his many chins got in the way of his airway.
"Alright Mr. Yui, we can leave the area." The teacher, whose name is Mr. Smith, said.
"Roger." Heero said as he eased onto the acceleration pedal. But as soon as he cleared the parking space, Mr. Smith hit his emergency brake pedal, slamming Heero against the steering wheel.
"What the hell was that?!" Heero yelled, pissed off that the instructor had decided to do that without warning.
"I had ......to test it. Routine you........ know. Now you are.... holding......... up the line. Minus one....point." The instructor gasped at Heero.
Heero sucked the air in between his teeth to keep from punching the instructor. He glanced in the rear view mirror to see Trowa's head down, not doing anything. Heero sighed and drove away.
After an hour of boring driving, Heero was paying more attention to the sunset than to the actual driving. The sky was painted pink, orange, and purple, with the streaking clouds only adding to the breathtaking scenery. Heero watched as the golden orb of light called the sun slowly set behind a hill, darkening the colors. Heero was snapped out of the trance by slamming against the steering wheel again.
"Both...eyes are not.....on the road. Minus....two....points." Mr. Smith said as he started marking on his clipboard. Clenching the steering wheel so hard, he almost ripped the foam off it, Heero only took some deep breaths, counted to ten, signaled, and turned off the road.
Another half an hour brought more torture as the instructor decided to turn on the radio. Heero was hoping for some rock music to help clear his head, but could only watch in horror as the instructor turned the radio dial to oldies.
"........Downtown, where all the lights are bright, Downtown.........."
Heero shuddered at the horrible music as he turned to the instructor.
"Could we possibly listen to something else? Like maybe Lincoln Park? Or Incubus?" Heero said, trying to hint at his favorite radio station.
"NO!! You will listen to this great classic music, and you will enjoy it!" The instructor bellowed, turning red at the thought of changing his beloved music. Heero didn't see exactly what was written, but he was sure a couple more points had mysteriously disappeared from his score. Taking more deep breaths, Heero tried to shut out the music and hope for a commercial break soon.
Trowa switched him seats half an hour later, not saying a word to either Heero or the instructor. After pulling out, they rode for two more hours in silence, as Heero tried as best he could to get the back seats dirty with mud from the bottom of his shoes.
Another five-hour classroom session went by and soon it was time for another drive session. Heero saw Trowa before their turn came.
"You're going first this time Trowa." Heero said. All he got was the standard look from Trowa.
"Fine." Was all the pilot of the Heavyarms said.
Just as Heero thought, Mr. Smith did not berate Trowa at all. Heero seethed in the back as he contemplated his revenge. The two-hour mark came, and Heero switched seats with Trowa. By now, the stars were out. Heero switched the lights on and pulled out, only to hit the steering wheel, again, hard.
Furious, Heero turned to the passenger side. Tired of keeping his temper, he drummed his fingers on the side cushion.
"Now.....what?" Heero said in a dangerously calm voice.
"You were using the hi......beam lights. Minus....." Mr. Smith started.
"I KNOW! ANOTHER FREAKING POINT!!!" Heero bellowed. " AND I WASN'T USING THEM, THEY WERE ALREADY ON!!"
Cranking the steering wheel, Heero turned and headed back to the start point.
That night, Heero stole into the Driver's ED Headquarters, and found the car he would be using for his test in two days. After a couple of hours, Heero, decked in black, stole away from the car smirking at his "modifications" on the car.
After two days of waiting, Heero seemed a bit more enthusiastic about his test to Trowa. But the unibanged one simply shrugged it off.
"Trowa, I think it would be fair to warn you," Heero said "make sure to fasten your seatbelt."
Trowa only nodded.
"I already had that much figured out." He replied.
Heero felt on top of the world as he stepped into little white car. Fastening his belt, Heero glared over to the passenger seat and saw the man whom he had grown to severely dislike to say the least in the past week, clutching the clipboard, tapping his pen impatiently upon it. Without even looking at the instructor, Heero leaned over to the radio and put in his mix CD.
"What do you think you're doing?!" The instructor yelled, too shocked to do anything.
"I'm taking my test." Heero said. "And I have a very good feeling that I will pass it."
With that, Heero tore out of the parking space at breakneck speed. Mr. Smith jammed his foot on his brake as hard as he could, to no avail.
"What is going on? Why can't I stop?!" Mr. Smith screamed. Heero floored it and sped up to about 60 mph. All the while Limp Bizkit blaring in the background.
"This time I'm gonna let it all hang out,
This time I'ma stand up and shout,
I'ma do things my way,
It's my way,
My way or the high way!"
A smirk played on Heero's lips and it was reflected on Trowa's, who only sat quietly in the back, enjoying the ride.
"I made a few improvements on this car. I'm in control now." Heero said, resisting the urge to cackle maniacally. Mr. Smith only looked on in horror, as he could do nothing to stop this insane teenager.
Heero cut through traffic, swerving from one lane to the other. All the other drivers on the road were screaming expletives at Heero, who held his middle finger up, high and proud. He then started to match each swear and curse from each other driver word for word.
He swerved off the road and jumped across a ditch to land on a set of train tracks. He revved the engine of the car and when he let go of the brake, the car went from 0 to 40 in one second flat. The driving instructor clutched the dashboard as a new track played. Incubus came up to add to the mood.
"Would you choose, water over wine?
Hold the wheel and drive.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there,
with open arms and open eyes, yeah,
whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there."
Heero hummed along as he mowed over a stray garbage can lying near the curb. A stop light turned red on him and he was forced to stop. He looked over at the instructor who had turned as pale as a sheet and smirked again. The instructor then tried to crawl out the window, but was way too massive. He then tried to yell for help, but the light turned green and he was jerked back into the car.
Heero skipped ahead in the CD. It was Lincoln Park. He cranked up the volume.
"All these thoughts they make no sense,
I've found bliss in ignorance,
Nothing seems to go away,
Over and over again, just like before,
Everything you say to me,
Takes me one step closer to the edge,
And I'm about to break."
By now, the car was near the starting point. Heero swerved into the curve and the car turned onto its right side, balancing on its two left tires. As Heero roared up to the parking spot, he braked immediately, slamming Mr. Smith against the dashboard. Mr. Smith was quite flustered as he looked at Heero.
"I don't know what you..... wanted to prove with this stunt, but.........I'll make sure you two never get your .........license's, EVER!" he screamed in Heero's face.
Heero smiled again and revved the motor. The instructor's eyes went wide.
"You want to go for another ride?" Heero asked. "Cause I have about nine more songs to listen to, and I'd love to hear them all tonight.
"N, Now please think this through..........I didn't mean it!" Mr. Smith was practically begging Heero.
Heero paused to think, and turned around.
"What do you think, Trowa?" He asked.
"Whichever one. I don't really care." Trowa replied, keeping his usual straight face.
"Here's the deal. You are gonna give us our licenses, no questions asked, or you're going for another ride. Got it? I've put up with your shit, so now you're gonna put up with mine." Heero said in a monotone voice.
Mr. Smith gulped once and realized he was in over his head. After a few scribbles on the papers, he handed Heero and Trowa each one. They had passed.
Just then, out of nowhere, a black corvette came up behind them. Inside sat the God of Death himself.
"I saw an out of control car with a fat guy sticking out the side." Duo said. "I figured it out."
Heero grabbed his CD and he and Trowa each got out of the stupid white car and into the corvette.
The last Mr. Smith saw of them were them roaring into the night, with Powerman 5000 blaring out of the awesome stereo system.
"Now who's the light and who's the devil?
You can't decide so I'll be your guide,
And one by one will be hand chosen,
Now this is what it's like when WORLD'S COLLIDE!!!!!!!"
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, or anything related to it. If I did, I wouldn't be making fanfictions. I would be making some new episodes or maybe a new movie. Powerman 5000, Incubus, Lincoln Park, and Limp Bizkit don't belong to me either. I can't remember who sang that god awful oldie I put in there, but I don't own them either.
R&R Please!