'Welcome. Voice activation required.'

"Thor."

'Access denied.'

Thor's excited smile drops slightly, but he isn't deterred any as he tries again. "Uhh, Thooor.. Son of Odin."

'Access denied.'

"OK. Thor Odinson?"

'Access denied.'

"Thor, God of Thunder."

'Access denied.'

"Just God of Thunder?"

'Access denied.'

"Right. No. Shit. Leave out the 'just' part." Thor sighs, presses his hand over the scanner before trying yet again. "God. Of. Thunder."

'Access denied.'

Thor lets out frustrated huff, balls his fists tight to keep from smashing up the controls. He shakes off his anger, slaps on a pleasant smile as he tries again, and again.

"Asgardian Avenger."

'Access denied.'

"Strongest Avenger."

'Access denied.'

Thor scoffs, tries that one again out of reasons of vanity. "Strongest. Avenger."

'Access. Denied.'

Thor pauses, stares at the control panel with a deeply confused look that lasts all of a few seconds. Instead, now he's scowling and cursing under his breath because his so-called friend has programmed this damn thing to mock him (for when he isn't present to do it himself, Thor is sure of that.)

"Damn you, Stark, you condescending little shit." Thor huffs, places his hand back on the panel (for what he hopes is the last damn time.) "Point Break."

'Welcome, Point Break.'

Thor would be annoyed if he wasn't so happy right now.

The jet springs to life around him, all the lights (interior and exterior) immediately switching on and the two powerful engines slowly beginning to warm up.

That is, until the end of the quinjet is literally being torn into, and Thor then has to try to not have an absolute nervous breakdown as the big green idiot begins to crawl in with him.

"NO! STOP!" Thor bellows, shooting him an incredulous look.

"NO! THOR STAY WITH HULK!" Hulk roars back, though, he sounds more wounded and desperate rather than angered (for a change.)

Still, that doesn't make Thor's new situation any better as he scrambles over the control panel. "You idiot! You're breaking everything!!" In his frantic attempt to keep the quinjet alive, he presses on the video note button and up pops a small blueish hologram of Natasha. Thor immediately freezes along with Hulk as they both listen to her voice (though, Thor's cautious gaze is still glued to the big green klutz.)

"Nice work, big guy. We don't know where Ultron is headed, but you're going very high, very fast right now, so I need you to turn this metal bird around, OK?"

For a moment, Hulk is simply mesmerised by that small and sweet smile she gives him (the one he's missed her giving him so much.)

"And also, I can't track you while you're stealth mode, so again, I'm gonna need you to help me out, OK?"

She shoots him a look of hope as Hulk slowly trudges closer simply to get a proper look at her face (the one he's missed so much.)

Thor's eyes widen in concern – both for his friend and the quinjet – as the big green idiot then proceeds to smash up the rest of the quinjet as he has his own nervous breakdown (at least, that's what Thor guesses is happening right now as Hulk smashes himself into literally everything and anything.) Thor grits his teeth as he watches things break apart, or get completely squashed, but he knows when he needs to be a good friend; knows both Hulk and Bruce have a soft spot for the fiery red headed Avenger.

For the first time ever, Hulk doesn't bother fighting to claw his way back to the surface, simply lets Banner take the wheel without argument. All this time, she was waiting for him while he's been selfishly hiding away from everything (Nat included.)

"Oh, thank Valhalla." Thor whispers to himself with a sigh of relief when he sees the huge frame shrinking and the green slowly receding into Banner's peachy pink flesh. He feels guilty for Hulk, but Banner will be much easier to deal with (his plan is probably already fucked thanks to Hulk.. so maybe he only feels a little bit guilty.)

At the same time, Bruce is muttering, "Oh, what the hell?" as he groggily tries to take in his surroundings (while also trying not to have a panic attack, because where the fuck is he, and why the fuck does he feel like he's been in a coma for years?) He faintly hears footsteps, but is more focused on the huge tennis ball sized beads hanging from his neck, while trying to hold the big guy's pants over his crotch.

"Hey there, Bruce." Thor chirps with a bright smile.

"Oh, Jesus!" Bruce jumps, almost exposes himself, one hand pressed to his racing heart. He glances up to see a welcome familiar face. "Thor?" He asks, stills feels like he's dreaming.

Thor holds up his hands, hopes to calm his friend down. He nods, smiles brightly again, confirms that in fact – "Yes, it's me; it's Thor; it's your friend."

"Oh, thank God." Bruce lets out a relieved breath. "I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad I'm not alone here... wherever here is."

Thor opens his mouth to fill in the details only to get obliviously cut off.

"What happened to your hair?" Bruce asks, squints his still slightly hazy eyes.

"Oh, uh, some creepy old man cut it off." Thor states, tries to pretend like it still doesn't sting his every fibre.

Bruce is one of the many people who agree that Thor's hair was the most fabulous hair they've ever seen, but it's still Thor, and Bruce strictly loves the ladies, but even he has to admit that the man is probably the most gorgeous male ever. Which means Bruce is being totally sincere when he tells the Prince, "It looks good." (Because the gorgeous man could undoubtedly pull off any look.)

"Oh. Thanks." Thor chirps, looks rather pleasantly surprised and then slightly flattered.

"Where – how's Nat?" Bruce asks as the memories slowly come trickling back to him.

"Uh, Nat is.. fine. I'm sure." Thor nods, smiles awkwardly.

"And what about Sokovia?" Bruce asks, looks concerned.

"Sokovia?" Thor just looks baffled before Bruce speaks again.

"Sokovia, the city, and with Ultron – did we win? Did we help?"

Thor smiles sheepishly. "Uh.. listen, Bruce.. Sokovia, Ultron and everything – that was all over two years ago now..."

"Wha –" Bruce blinks back at him, glances around the smashed up quinjet, blinks back at him again. "What're you saying?" He asks with slight dread, "I've been Hulk for two years?"

Thor nods. "Yes.. sorry?" He winces slightly just as he says it, because he knows how dumb he sounds (another thing that Loki would say he excels at.)

Bruce glances back down at himself, finally slips off the large beads from around his neck. "What the hell happened?" He looks at Thor as he asks, but in his mind, he's trying to figure out how this could happen when it's never happened before.

Again, Thor is about open his mouth to speak when this time, Bruce cuts him off by (first gathering himself under Hulk's massive breaches, and then) brushing passed him.

Thor wrinkles his nose to himself, slowly follows him over to the control panel. "Look, Banner, there's something you should know." He doesn't actually have time to fill him in on everything, but the man deserves to know the danger he will be in if he chooses to join Thor on his way back to Asgard.

Bruce is only half listening as he presses his hand onto the scanner. "Banner."

'Welcome, Strongest Avenger.'

"Uhh, what?" Thor scoffs – he's going to strangle Stark...

Bruce fights back a small amused smile. "Ship's log."

Thor watches with mild amusement as the hologram video pops up to show Hulk being slammed around the cabin. Though, again, he feels rather guilty and even sympathetic for the big green idiot as he watches him clinging to the pilot's seat with a rather fearful look on his big green face.

"Thor..." Bruce slowly gazes out of the front window. "Where are we?"

"Uh, yeah. About that..."

Yet again, Thor is interrupted. Though, this time, it's by a huge tower sized hologram of The Grandmaster sat in the centre of the city.

"Attention! Bad news. My green and thunderous champions have both turned up missing. Take to the streets, celebrate my champions, and come seek a reward of your very own desire if you happen to spot them! Better yet, bring them straight to me!"

"Who's that?" Bruce asks.

"The creepy old man that runs this place. Same one that cut off my hair." Thor casually explains. "You actually lived in his house for a while. Not exactly sure how long."

"I did?"

"Yeah. Quite a lot has happened recently. You and I had a fight."

"We did?" Bruce looks concerned again.

"Yeah."

"Well.. did I win?" Bruce then curiously asks.

"No. I won. Easily." Thor chirps out with a pleasant grin (Loki really would be so proud of how easily he just lied.)

Bruce scowls. "That doesn't sound right."

And OK, he knows Thor isn't one to easily be put down; knows even Hulk had trouble doing so, but he also knows that Hulk put up a pretty good fight right back, and that Tony in his Hulk Buster was the one to actually stop the big guy.

"Well, it's true." Thor shrugs, still watching as the hologram of The Grandmaster now smirks down at the city as he speaks again.

"Oh, no, you know what? My mistake. Topaz informs me that our new and seductive little Lord of Thunder has stolen our beloved TRUE champion away from us..."

"It's 'GOD of Thunder'!" Thor hisses through gritted teeth as he glares back up at his smug shit gigantic holographic face. "And I don't know why that Topaz bitch has it out for me!"

Bruce just looks lost again as he glances from the large holographic "creepy old man that runs this place" as he asks, "Who's Topaz?"

"Oh, she's just.. just awful." Thor says as he screws his face up in disgust. "Never mind her. We need to find another way off this planet." He leaves out the part about Hulk ruining the chance of them using the quinjet (even when he knows Bruce is smart enough to figure that out anyway.) Instead, he moves over to the back of the trashed craft and begins to sift through the metal rubble.

With The Grandmaster's message now playing on repeat in the background, and as he watches Thor rifle through the chaotic mess for whatever he's looking for, Bruce suddenly feels the panic begin to set in. He tries to calm himself by taking slow and shallow breaths, holds a hand up to his heart as his other hand tightly clutches at the big guy's pants.

Obliviously, Thor continues to search for some left over clothes, finds them just as his friend speaks up again.

"Thor.. I.. I think I'm freaking out, man."

"No, no, no. Don't freak out. You're OK. Everything's OK." Thor tells him, voice soft and calming as he grabs the clothes and rushes back over to his friend. "Here, put these on." He gently shoves the clothing into his friend's bare chest, rests a hand on his shoulder and tries to usher him around the biggest pile of rubble for some privacy while he changes.

Bruce loosely presses the clothes to his chest, the confusion (at least) starting to distract him from his panic attack. "These are Tony's." He states rather dazedly.

"Yes, that's right." Thor nods, smiles encouragingly as he walks him slowly through the rest of the Hulk made rubble.

"Is he here?" Bruce asks, looks all too hopeful.

"No, he's not here, but listen, you just focus on staying calm, OK?" Thor musters up the biggest grin he can as he gently pushes the slightly discombobulated man along.

"OK." Bruce nods, takes a deep breath.

"OK. Good. That's it. Deep breaths. Sun's getting real low. And you need to hurry up and get dressed so we cancalmlyget as far away from here as possible..."

Bruce's eyes widen in alarm.

"No, no, no. Calmly. I said,'calmly'."

Holy hell(a), this is going to be a long journey...

...

"No, no, no. This won't do. This won't do, atall. I am upset, people."

Loki steels herself as she stands before The Grandmaster. But thankfully, she isn't alone. Though, she does suspect that her "association" with Thor will put her under the microscope here. (And of course, she's right.)

"But here's the thing – the thing is that I have just one thing I like about being upset, and that's that I get to blame someone."

Loki fights the urge to roll her eyes at his childish tone (honestly, a thousand times worse than Thor ever sounds.)

"And right now, blame is the mind set that I'm in." The Grandmaster's bittersweet smile drops when he's rudely cut off (she really does love to hear herself talk. It's annoying. But his favourite scrapper, he expected more from.)

"Grandmaster, I –" Loki scowls as she's cut off by the scrapper.

"How about I just –" Brunnhilde scowls back at the.. whoever the hell she is. (She's beautiful. But in that annoying way that shows she knows she's beautiful, and easily flaunts it.)

"Hey, hey, hey!Nointerrupting!" The Grandmaster scolds both women.

Topaz smirks smugly as she holds the Melt Stick up for her boss. "Here ya go."

Loki narrows her eyes back at the woman, while Brunnhilde outright shoots her a murderous glare.

Topaz fights back a laugh at them both. But her gleeful expression quickly withers as her boss slowly turns to her with a look of confusion.

"Why are you handing me the Melt Stick?" The Grandmaster ever calmly asks, though, his patience really is wearing thin right now. "They were only interrupting. That's not a Melt Stick capital violation."

Topaz huffs, glares at both the women.

Brunnhilde merely rolls her eyes, while Loki fights back a smug smirk of her own.

The Grandmaster takes a moment to calm himself, then, turns back to face the crowds as he tells both women, "My champion has gone missing and it's because of this microwave fingers little Lord of Thunder." His gaze falls solely upon the pretty emerald eyed one, scowling as he tells her, "It's all because of your brother. Or adopted brother, or whatever the story is between you two. I mean, he doesn't look at you like a brother should look at you, but meh, I'm sure it's all very complicated."

Brunnhilde spares the green eyed woman a mildly interested glance upon hearing that. She knew there was something else that pretty blonde idiot was hiding from her.

Loki scowls back at The Grandmaster's clearly hinting tone, but bites her tongue to keep from interrupting again. Instead, she simply nods along with him.

"And he'syourcontender." The Grandmaster points an accusing finger at the scrapper.

Brunnhilde again fights the urge to roll her eyes.

"Grandmaster, if I may." Loki smiles politely when he nods. "Give me just a couple hours, and I'll have both your champions back to you."

"I can do it one." Brunnhilde pipes up, shoots the green eyed woman a smug little smirk when she scowls over at her.

"I can do it in half." Loki snootily states.

"Then, why didn't you just say that to begin with?" Brunnhilde arches a brow, smirk slowly widening when she only receives a glare.

"Yeah, I'm gonna stop you both right there. You have me intrigued. I am intrigued." The Grandmaster grins with a disturbing kind of glee that makes Loki have to fight back a horrid shiver. "You know what? I woke up this morning with the sweet thought of public execution on my mind." He states all too pleasantly, then gives an excited little wiggle of his hips and shoulders as he says, "But for now, I'll settle for this whole adorable little 'who's gonna get 'em first' thing. So, uh.. well, you're both on the clock. Bye-bye now!"