TITLE

TITLE: Fade To Blue - Part III

AUTHOR: Abilene Keegan

EMAIL: Abilene_Keegan@hotmail.com

RATING: PG

SYNOPSIS: Abby views her new found relationship with Carter. Carter/Abby; Luka/Abby.

DISCLAIMER: The following is a story of fiction based on characters created and owned

by Michael Crichton and NBC.

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P A R T I I I

Luka watched unnoticed from a short distance as Abby and Carter stood talking to each other outside the supply room. He wondered if they were setting up another date. Then he remembered the first time he and Abby had set up a date. Inside that very supply room. The memory was a pleasant one yet seemed to cause only pain. They'd been separated now for about four months and, for the last two of those months, it had become quickly evident to Luka that her and Carter were now dating. That hurt him even more then this break up would have already hurt him. To know that she'd so quickly gotten over him. That their relationship together had so hastily left her memory. That hurt more then anything else about this situation could have.

He watched and listened as Abby began laughing at something Carter had just said. He didn't know if this should upset him or not. A part of him was saddened but mostly he was just happy that she was laughing. She'd been so depressed for so long that to see her happy actually made a part of him happy. The other part of him was dying from missing her so much. He hadn't thought it was possible to hurt this much from a simple break up. He'd had his sure of break ups before but none had ever caused true pain. The only time he'd felt this way was when his family had died. Okay, perhaps then the pain had been significantly worse, but that was still the only time he could compare this with.

Luka's heart sank as he watched Carter lean down and give Abby a quick kiss on the lips before he walked past her and down the hall. Realizing that if he didn't leave himself Abby would probably see him, Luka made a quick dash for the closest door feeling somewhat like a stalker. He had to stop doing this. He had to stop torturing himself over her. She'd left him. She'd moved on. And she was happy. He had to learn to accept that. Somehow.

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Abby stood virtually motionless as Carter leaned down to kiss her. Even her lips made little movement and she wondered how it was he never seemed to notice this. Perhaps he was in that stage of wishful thinking. Hoping that she was enjoying every moment they spent together. He sure was. But no matter how hard Abby tried, and she did try, she just couldn't bring herself to enjoy his company. Or his kisses. She'd always tried to kiss him back though, always hoping he wouldn't notice her lake of emotion, and thus far he hadn't.

With every passing day Abby kept wishing she hadn't excepted his proposal to go out that night. But she had excepted it. Hoping she'd be able to get her mind off things. Namely Luka. She'd thought that she could talk to Carter like she'd always used to. But it hadn't turned out that way. Carter had been so happy that night, so excited. Abby didn't know how she could have been so stupid but the moment they'd arrived at the restaurant, they'd gone directly after work, she'd figured it out. This wasn't just one of those friendly dinners and chats her and Carter used to have. At least it wasn't supposed to be according to him. According to Carter they were on a date.

Abby had played along not wanting to hurt or humiliate him in any way. Somehow though things had gotten way out of hand. Two months had now passed. She just couldn't bring herself to leave him. She didn't want to hurt him and he seemed so happy. A part of her was hoping that eventually she'd be just as happy with him too. The other part, buried way down in some dark pit, knew she couldn't be. Her heart was somewhere else.

Abby sighed sadly wondering what was wrong with her. She had two great men in love with her. One of them she'd already lost and the other one she just couldn't bring herself to open up to. Which was odd cause she'd always opened up to Carter. She'd always talked to him about her problems. Maybe that was the problem right there. He was her boyfriend now and the main problems on her mind were ones that would only succeed in breaking his heart if she told him about them. They were two problems. One, him. Two, Luka.

A thought occurred to Abby and she had to laugh at it. When she'd been dating Luka she'd most always went to Carter with her problems. So maybe now that she was dating Carter, she should go to Luka. The sad truth was, if she did go to Luka to talk, he'd never turn her away. And she didn't deserve his help. She didn't deserve any kindness from him after the way she'd left him.

"Abby do you have that chart?" Abby looked over at Kerry bewildered.

"Chart?" She asked knowing she'd be reprimanded for this one. Sure enough Kerry gave her that 'what's wrong with these nurses' look before replying back in her not to subtle tone.

"Mr. Jensen, curtain three, foot lac." Abby thought for a moment before the memory of Mr. Jensen and his chart popped back into her mind.

"Oh, right, yeah. Um, I'll go get it."

"Since it was supposed to be at admit an hour ago, that'd be a good idea." With that Kerry stalked off towards the admit desk. Abby gave a deep sigh of relief. That could have been worse. Of course it was about to get worse. Since she couldn't remember where she'd left the chart.

Abby mentally ran the days events through her head starting with Mr. Jensen. She'd been with Dr. Weaver examining the patient. Once they were done they'd both left, Abby with the chart and the intentions of taking it up to admit. Only she'd been stopped by Chen who needed help with another patient. That's it! While her and Chen were finishing up Carter had stuck his head in and asked if he could speak with her. She'd left the chart in the exam room!

Abby walked about ten feet down that hall and opened up the now empty exam room. At least it should have been empty. But to Abby's surprised Luka was in it.

"Oh, hi." Oh hi, god was that the best she could come up with? Luka was seated on a stool in the room with his head in his hands, as soon as she'd entered though his head shot right up. She tried to pretend she hadn't noticed as she quickly walked over to where the chart was lying on a nearby med tray. Nearby to him that was.

"Hi Abby." His voice sounded different. No, Abby corrected herself, it sounded sad. Despite his obvious attempts not to sound that way, he still did. Abby reached the chart and snatched it up hurriedly. Eager to get out of there she quickly dashed for the door trailing her lame, yet true, excuse behind her.

"Um, have to get this chart back to Weaver before she has a hernia." Abby had reached the door when her more sensitive side took over. She couldn't just walk out of there like this. Not with him obviously being in hiding and upset. She turned around slowly.

"Are you okay Luka?" He looked up from where he was now gazing down at the floor and over at her surprised. She was a little hurt by that. Did he really think she didn't care about him anymore?

"Um, yeah, I'm fine." No he wasn't, Abby thought to herself. He hadn't been fine for the past four months. "Then what are you doing in here?" She didn't want to sound accusing but she had to add. "Especially today, we are a little backed up."

"We're always backed up Abby." He gave her that sly smile she had always cherished.

"Yeah, but today we're especially backed up. I mean Weaver's out there seeing patients with cut legs." Luka only gave a short laugh before looking back down at the floor. Abby felt bad. She shouldn't be hassling him about not being around when the ER needed him. It wasn't really any of her business and besides they were doing just fine out there. She took a few steps closer to Luka.

"Look I don't want to argue with you about the states of the ER." She took another few steps till she was standing directly in front of him. "I just want to know that you're okay." She asked sweetly, her voice soft and filled with the sincerity she truly felt. When Luka looked up she had to swallow. The proximity between them was a little too close.

"Abby." His voice was soft, filled with emotion. And suddenly she realized that she was in a room, alone, standing far to close to her ex boyfriend that was still in love with her. She felt his hand as it gently landed on the back of her head bringing her face closer to his. She should have stopped him. But she couldn't.

Their lips met within second. And within a few more seconds she felt his tongue pleading to be let in. The emotions that were sweeping through Abby at that moment were just to many for her to handle. To many for her to explain. So she ignored them. Tossed them aside and just felt. She parted her lips slightly and his tongue ever so slowly entered and began its familiar exploration of her mouth. And he was suddenly kissing her in a way she knew Carter, or any other man for that matter, never could.

"Hey, Abby..." Abby jumped away from Luka immediately and looked over at the door, all the while trying to catch her breath. There stood Carter, shock and hurt evident on his face.

"John." Abby whispered but Carter had already left the room.

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Abby rushed through the emergency doors in quick pursuit of Carter. Both ignored the questioning glares of the ER staff and patients alike. No doubt, Abby thought, they were already typing things up on a computer to be published in next weeks gossip magazine.

"John please wait!" She caught up to him and quickly grabbed him by the arm trying to stop him. He stopped and swung around to face her.

"What the hell was that?" He hissed at her. Abby wondered if he was more angry or humiliated. She also wondered if he'd finally figured things out. It would be a relief if he had. Still, she found herself lying to him.

"That was nothing John. I swear." His look was that of a true skeptic. "Look he was in there when I went in to get a patient's chart and he looked depressed. I asked him what was wrong and he kissed me. It was nothing. Really. He was just feeling down." Perhaps she just didn't want to hurt him. Or maybe she was just afraid of being alone again.

"And you have no feelings for him?" Abby looked at him and wasn't sure what to say. Truth or lie? It always comes down to that, doesn't it?

"John-" He cut her off abruptly.

"Do you have feeling for him still Abby? Yes or no question." Abby closed her eyes and pushed back her emotions.

"No." She stated after opening her eyes again and looking directly into his. To her surprise a smile spread across Carters face and he reached out to her and began kissing her himself. Abby was sure she should have felt some degree of passion in his kiss but for the life of her she couldn't. She just felt numb. Her heart was breaking. How could things have gotten so out of hand? How could she have hurt the two men she cared about most so deeply? She hated herself for this. She hated herself for letting it continue. She should have ended it right here and now. But she was to weak. To scared.

"Carter, we need you in here!" They both jumped apart and looked over as Kerry shut the emergency doors behind her call. Carter looked at her questioningly. God, the love in his eyes was killing her.

"You should go." He nodded his head and stepped away from her.

"We'll talk about this later, okay?" Abby smiled.

"Okay." With that answer Carter darted for the emergency doors and reentered the ER. That's when Abby noticed Luka. He was watching her intently, disappointment in his eyes. Oh, god, he'd heard their conversation. Luka confirmed this by walking away with a sour look on his face.

Abby entered the ER as naturally as she could and walked to the nearest restroom. Going into one of the stalls she sank to the floor and began to cry.

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