TITLE: Fade To Blue - Part V
AUTHOR: Abilene Keegan
EMAIL: Abilene_Keegan@hotmail.com
RATING: PG
SYNOPSIS: Abby follows her heart
in Part V. Carter/Abby; Luka/Abby.
SPOILERS: Rampage.
DISCLAIMER: The following is a
story of fiction based on characters created and owned by Michael Crichton and
NBC.
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P A R T V
"Abby?" Abby blinked and looked over the table at Carter.
Had he been talking to her? Of course he had but she realized she hadn't
heard a word he'd been saying. Her mind had been somewhere else.
With someone else. A man who was probably sitting alone in his hotel room
wishing she was there. Just as she was wishing he were here.
Ever since she'd walked away from him a few hours ago she just couldn't stop
thinking about him. Okay, she was fooling herself, she hadn't stopped
thinking about him ever since she'd broken up with him five and a half months
ago. She looked over at Carter and smiled.
"Sorry." Why was she here? She didn't want to be
here. She thought back to why she and Luka had broken up. It seemed
really stupid now. They could have worked things out. She could have
learned to depend on him and he on her. She deeply believed that.
He was in love with her, he'd do anything to make things work out between
them. This morning she wouldn't have been so sure of that but she was
now. Because he'd tried doing just that tonight. He'd asked if
she'd had any plans. Why would he have wanted to make plans with her if
he hadn't wanted to try and talk things over with her. Just a friendly
dinner together would have been to painful. The only reason he'd torture
himself like that is if he was going to try and get back together with
her. He was still in love with her. Was she in love with him?
"You okay?" Carter asked and in his voice there was that
friendly tone he'd always used with her. When they were just friends and nothing
more. When things had been simple yet pleasant between them. Her
eyes began to fill with tears. She wiped away the ones that fell as she
watched Carter's face grow with concern. He reached a hand out over the
table and sat it atop hers. She moved her hand away. "Abby
what's wrong?" He asked gently yet evidently a little hurt.
That didn't help her any.
"Why can't we just be friends John?" His face showed
surprise. Then angst. Abby was a little surprised herself.
But this had to stop. She did not love him and she even felt that he
didn't really love her.
"So," John sad dryly sitting back in his chair. "This is
the whole let's break up but still be friends speech." Abby was
already shaking her head.
"No, John. We are friends. That's all we've ever really
been. Why can't you see that?" It was hurting her deeply to do
this to him. She could tell that while he was trying to be strong he was
really hurting.
"Abby I care about you a lot." Abby smiled.
"And I care about you. But I'm not in love with you.
I'm..." She stopped herself abruptly realizing what she was just
about to say. And so Carter finished the sentence for her.
"In love with Luka." Abby thought about this for a moment and a
wide smile slowly spread across her face. Her tears were forgotten.
She was suddenly the happiest person in the world. She knew how she felt.
"Yes, I am. I do love him." With this new found joy Abby
had become oblivious to Carter. That is until he stood up rather harshly
slapping some money down on the table and started to turn away.
"Congratulations." He said dryly as he stormed towards the
exit. Abby ran after him quickly. She caught up to him just outside
the restaurant.
"John I'm sorry. That was inappropriate. I'm
sorry." Carter swung around unexpectedly and was face to face with
Abby. The anger in his eyes was fuming and Abby had to take a step back.
"Why keep me going for so long Abby? Why the hell didn't you put a
stop to this a long time ago? You've never been into this relationship,
that much is obvious. I thought that if I just gave you some time you'd
be okay. Why shouldn't I think that! I mean it's not like you did
anything to make me think otherwise!" Abby stepped back again,
almost as if the blow of his words had had a physical impact.
"I'm sorry John." Yeah, she sure couldn't say that enough, she
scolded herself. "That day when we had that conversation and you got
mad at me because I'd started talking to you about Luka. You left me
believing that unless I started taking our relationship to a further level
you'd want nothing to do with me. When I broke up with Luka it hurt so
badly. And you are my best friend. My only friend right now.
I needed somebody to talk to and you were the only one I had. But I
thought that unless I tried to let things grow between us I'd never be able to
talk to you. So I let them grow. No matter how much that's not what
I really wanted. I just want to be your friend and it seemed like you'd
given me an ultimatum. Either I date you or I can't even talk to
you. I needed somebody so I... I made a big mistake and I hurt you in the
process and I am so sorry. You don't know how sorry I am. I don't
want to lose you as a friend." By the time Abby was done explaining
this all to John her eyes were filled with the unshed tears of emotions she'd
kept bottled up for far to long. It actually felt good to her that she'd
finally been able to release this all and tell John the truth.
John was just staring down at her dumbfounded. She had no idea how he was
going to react. She'd just practically torn out his heart. Told him
that she didn't love him, that she never would. She looked down at the
ground not wanting to see his pained face anymore. Pain she had caused.
"Abby I'm going to need to take some time with this one." He
spoke the words softly, gently. Abby looked back up at him and their eyes
locked. "I really do think I was falling in love with you."
Abby closed her eyes lightly, a few more tears trickling down her cheeks.
"No chance for us, huh?" His voice had no hope in it and Abby
knew he already knew the answer to that question.
"No John. I need to be with him. I need him." John
nodded his head and then turned to leave. She watched him hesitate for a
moment before he turned back to face her once again.
"It'll take some time and I'm not promising you anything Abby... but I'll
think about that whole just being friends thing."
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Luka was sitting on his bed, back against the headboard, looking down at the
pictures of his family. He'd thought that he would never feel love again
after he'd lost them. How could he? How could he allow himself to
move on and be happy when his family was dead because of him?
He'd some how managed to stay alive himself and moved to America, a foreign
doctor looking for a job. Sure, he'd gotten a lot of jobs but that was
the problem. He kept losing them. Not that he'd ever tried too hard
to stay anywhere for very long. Truth was he liked the moving around all
the time. He didn't have to worry about getting close to anybody that
way. Finally he'd ended up in Chicago, he'd come to County. Here
he'd managed to get a stable job. He'd liked it here. Liked the
people and even the city wasn't half bad. Not when compared to some
places he'd been. He was way over ever worrying about getting too close
to anyone. He'd convinced himself that just couldn't happen. His
heart was already gone. Then he'd met her.
It hadn't mattered at first. She was married and a med student and he'd
had Carol. Well, he hadn't had Carol but he'd been interested in
her. Then Carol had left. And Abby was no longer a med
student. And, even better, she wasn't married. That's when he'd
really gotten to know her. When they'd started talking more. That's
when he'd eventually fallen in love again. Haven been in love before it
hadn't taken him long to recognize it, but it had shocked the hell out of
him. He wasn't supposed to be able to love anymore. And with these
feeling suddenly came the feelings of betrayal. Betraying a family he'd
long ago lost. Suddenly the tragedy was back and it was in his head
again. All he could see was his daughter lying in his arms as he tried
desperately to save her. He saw his wife as she was crying over the loss
of their son. Then he saw her die. And then his daughter.
He began to push Abby away, yet not to far. He knew he loved her and so
he still wanted her there with him. He just couldn't have her too
close. But now he knew that somewhere along the way he'd pushed too
hard. He'd lost her.
Luka looked up at the sudden knock on his door. He never got company, not
since Abby had left, and since he wasn't the hotel doctor he had no idea who it
could be. Deciding against his usual 'who is it' Luka put the two
photos on the bedside table and walked over to the door. He bypassed the
peep hole without even thinking. He'd never liked it. He couldn't
see looking through it and not still opening the door to whoever was outside,
so what was the point? If he had looked though he still wouldn't have
been any less surprised to find Abby standing outside his hotel room.
Neither of them exchanged words. They just looked at each other.
Luka didn't know what to say. 'What are you doing here?'
Sounded too accusing to him. He didn't want to come off that way.
Didn't want to say anything that might cause her to leave. He felt a
piece of his heart slowly inch its way back into his body as his mind began
thinking of a future with hope. A future with her. He was about to
shake these notions out of his head. After all he had no idea why she was
there. Then the answer came. Not in words but in a form far more
powerful.
Luka's arms were suddenly filled with Abby and his lips covered by hers.
As their kiss deepened Luka slowly stepped back into his room and pushed the
door shut behind Abby never breaking contact with her. The pieces of his
heart all rushed back into their rightful places. His very soul was
filled with all the love he'd ever felt for her.
Luka wrapped one arm around her waist while pulling her tightly, yet gently,
against his body. His free hand was left to softly caress the side of her
face. As their tongues played combat Luka felt the temperature in the
room drastically change. As if reading his mind Abby reached for the hem
of his sweater and was about to pull it off when Luka's own mind took on a
little more reasoning. Pulling away from her reluctantly, Luka gently
grabbed her wrists and stopped her from going any further. She looked up
at him confused and a little hurt. Luka smiled softly.
"Sweetie," He spoke between breaths as he was still trying to catch
his. "Trust me, I want this as much as you do but we can't. We
have to talk. I have to know why you're here." His reasoning
worked as he watched Abby smile back.
"Sorry, I guess you're right." Luka took her hand and led her
over to the bed. It really being the only place to sit. He sat on
the edge and brought her down to sit beside him. She smiled at him
meaningfully. "Sure this is the best place to talk?" Luka
laughed, she was right but he didn't feel like leaving.
"What we have to talk about needs to be done in privet and I don't feel
like waiting till we reach your place so..." Abby nodded with
understanding. They sat in silence for a few minutes both of them unsure
where to start.
"I left him." Abby finally stated. Then she smiled a
little at her own words. "Well, obviously." Luka smiled
too. He felt like the happiest man in the word. He knew though that
there was still a long and bumpy road waiting for them. "Um, he
inadvertently helped me to realize something though."
"What's that." Luka urged when she stopped talking. She
looked over at him and into his eyes. For a moment she just sat there
seemingly looking for something in the depth of those eyes.
"That I love you." Her words were a whisper as Luka leaned in
to kiss her again, soft and gentle.
"I love you too."
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They'd spent two hours talking about everything. Telling each other that
which should have come out a long time ago. Luka had told Abby about his
family. About how the memory of them had resurfaced with a vengeance when
he'd found himself in love with her her. He let her know why he had
pushed her away. Abby told him about her own family, her mother, father,
and brother. She told him about her marriage, about her drinking.
When nothing was left to be said they found themselves in a comfortable silence.
Both thinking about each others past and about their own futures.
They were lying on the bed. Abby's back to Luka's stomach as he held her
closely. Not daring to let go. Both were deep in thought when
suddenly Luka heard a soft sob coming from Abby. He looked down at her
curiously but could only see the back of her head.
"Abby what's wrong?" He asked her softly.
"I am so sorry Luka." She said as she turned onto her back and
looked up at Luka. Her face was streaked with tears and Luka felt his
heart ache for her.
"Sorry about what?" He wiped away her tears only to watch more
fall. Abby looked down at her hands, obviously not wanting to look him in
the eyes.
"For treating you like I was despite with everything you were going
through." Luka knew immediately what she was talking about.
"Abby you couldn't have known. I never told you about my
family." Abby gave a sarcastic laugh at that.
"Yeah, because I never bothered to ask. I told you that you were the
one who didn't want to hear about my problems when really," She
looked back up at him. "It was quite the opposite." Luka
thought carefully before responding to this.
"Abby, I think that we were just in too knew of a relationship. I
mean it got pretty profound really quickly but it was still new. I think
we both needed time to really get to know each other. To get to know each
others emotions, how we respond to different emotions and situations, before we
could get to the point in which we can open up to each other fully. I
believe," He smiled down at her. "We've reached that
point."
"I hope you're right." He watched her thoughtfully before
thinking up a final course of action.
"Why don't we make a pact. If either of us need to talk about
anything, any problems be it family, work, our past, then we will go to each
other. And nobody else." He made sure to bring across that
last sentence clearly. He was sure Carter was out of the picture now, as
least for a while, but he still wanted to make sure she'd go to him instead of
Carter for comfort when she needed it. Abby smiled up at him.
"I'd really like that." He looked in her
eyes before leaning down to kiss her gently on the lips. He pulled back
only a few seconds later. He wanted to ask her something before they got
into all that.
"How'd you get the photo of my son?" Abby
smiled again.
"Well it wasn't the easiest thing. Some
hospitals take photos of babies when they are born in case anything
happens. Say by some off chance the baby is kidnapped then they'll always
have a record of what the baby looked like. So, since I knew where you
were living in Croatia when Marko was born I went on the internet and found the
largest hospital there and walla, that's where he was born. You got
lucky, that hospital does take photos of infants after they are born. I
talked one of the records office employees into sending me a copy of his
photo." Luka smiled at her, his heart warming up to her even more,
if that were possible.
"Thank you so much Abby. You don't know what that photo means to
me."
"Yeah, I think I do." She looked him deep in the eyes and he
was sure that she did indeed know. That she understood.
"I love you." He whispered the words gently against her lips as
he continued their earlier kiss.
"I love you too." And from there the kiss deepened and so did
their hearts. If that was possible.
- - - - - - - - - - -
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Almost all happy
endings have a way of coming true
-Unknown, Fade To Blue
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END NOTE: Okay I don't really
like to say 'the end' to anything. Especially not a series, cause you
never know. But this is definitely the end for now. I may continue
it sometime in the future. Maybe let you know how Abby and Carter will
fix their friendship if they even do. But for now I'm just happy that I
can start a different series. Look for it to be released soon.
Thanks for reading!
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: I'd like to thank everybody who reviewed this series!! Your responses were greater and much kinder then I'd expected. They were truly the reason I continued Fade To Blue as far as I did. THANK YOU all so much!