Author: Starry Night
Rating: PG – Just to be on the safe side of the law
Spoilers: Post-Ep for AJBAC
Summary: Zack thinks about his life and Max from 'beyond the grave'
Disclaimer: The show and characters do not belong to me. It
belongs to some people from Fox or whatever e.g. Cameron and Eglee
Nothing can begin to compare with my feelings at this moment in time.
Never has the phrase 'phoney sentimentality' meant so little…or so much to me, depending on the way that I look at it.
I keep asking myself whether I did the right thing, but in my heart, I know that I did.
In my heart…
My heart belongs to Max now; emotionally it has always been hers to dispose of, but physically. In my current state nothing exists…except everything. That's what Max was to me - nothing and everything at the same time.
I look down at her beautiful face; her features carved into eternity and know that my sacrifice was worth it.
At least I now know for sure that I'm not still there – back at Manticore. I have grown from what I used to be. It hurt me when some of the others pointed out that it looked as if I was caught up in the past, in our 'soldier' days because it is that which I had grown to despise so much.
'Phoney Sentimentality'…
My greatest weakness has always been my greatest fear. Love. I would do anything for my siblings, especially Max. When I first saw her, some time ago now, I wondered whether this was the girl that I had grown up knowing as my sister, her existence seemed so…perfect. The way that she had been able to let go of that past that haunts me, live for the present and accept the future as it presents itself.
Looking after the X5 'Rogues' has been my hardest job so far. Not because of any physical strain, but seeing everyone move on to assume new identities, make new friends and live their new lives. I could never show how much it hurt to break them away from the cities they have lived in and become accustomed to, and then having to relocate them with even more new identities. That was probably the most hurtful. Watching everyone move on when I knew that they were my responsibility because I organised the escape. I couldn't move on because I couldn't let them get recaptured. I knew that tearing them away from familiar faces and locations to move them to unfamiliar territory hurt. But there is only one thing that comes to mind that can hurt more…Manticore.
One last look at the beautiful face that I had given my life for:
'Fight them Maxie. Promise me you'll fight them'
The words echo through my head as I repeat them to Max. She stirs in her sleep.
'Promise me Maxie' I say again.
Her eyes open, 'Zack' She utters sleepily.
I feel a smile flicker across my face. I know she'll fight them. I'll always be with her…because home is where the heart is.
{~*~}
*** Hey – I know what you are thinking – I must have been mad at the time to write this kinda thing*** Thanx for reading it anyways.