A minute passed before someone said something. Tess sat frozen in place as Max still held her hand. Finally, he said, "Storms freak me out, too." That snapped her out of it.
"Oh... yeah..."
"I'm guessing Nasedo didn't care much."
"No... he didn't. He'd just say stuff like, 'We survived a spaceship crash, this is nothing.' I hated when he said that."
"But we weren't even born yet," observed Max.
"I know! I tried to make him understand how I felt, but..."
"I'm sorry," said Max.
"About what?"
"Not waiting for you..." She smiled.
"It's okay. I mean, growing up with Nasedo has taught me a lot... even if it meant being all by myself most of the time."
"Wasn't big on human friends, uh?"
"Nope."
"But you seem okay." She looked up. "I mean, you're not completely cut off from the world or anything," he explained.
"Well, just because he wouldn't let me make human friends, didn't mean I would listen. I made some friends. He never knew about them, that's all."
"Oh..."
"In fact, if I hadn't been sneaking around, we would probably still be looking around for you."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, a couple months ago, I wanted to have a party with my friends. I needed him to leave, so I suggested he go look in Roswell. He hesitated at first, but eventually went. So I had the party, it was great and everything. A few days later, he came back. He'd found you. So we packed up everything and moved here. I never got to say goodbye to my friends."
"Wow," said Max. Suddenly, he felt a bit sorry for her. Even if she said it was okay, he couldn't help it.
"I understand how it must have felt a bit... when I was little, I wanted nothing more than to... belong... you know?" She nodded. "I knew that I was different from the other kids... I hated that. I had this big secret and I couldn't tell anyone. Not the teachers, or the kids at school, not even my parents. I wanted nothing more than just being like them... normal. I mean... they didn't know there was something different about me, and yet I still remained in my corner... as time went by, I started blending in, but there was still the secret..."
He turned and saw she was looking at him. He wanted to turn away, but he couldn't. He didn't know why, but he didn't WANT to look away from her. She had this look of complete understanding on her face. Michael and Isabel understood as well, but not the way Tess did. How was that?
It didn't really matter now... the important thing right then, was that he'd found someone who understood entirely how he felt... as she had been feeling the same way. He was confused, didn't know what he wanted anymore.
"Max?" he heard her say. He turned.
"Uh?"
"You seemed a bit lost there."
"Sorry, I was just thinking... Can I ask you a question?" She blinked, then nodded. "What was it like? After you'd come out of the pod... with Nasedo..." She took a moment to think her words through.
"Well... at first, I didn't fully know what was happening. I mean, how could I? Everything was new to me. I was very curious... wanting to know more and more. But Nasedo wouldn't allow it. He didn't want me to... get distracted. For a while, he wouldn't even let me out of the house... didn't want me to see the other people, the humans.
"There were times I'd climb up to the window, to look at the families going in and out of their homes... happy... One time, he caught me. After that, he never let me out of his sight. Eventually, when he thought I was 'concentrated' enough, I was allowed to go to regular schools. The first day of school... that was one of the best days of my life."
Max was speechless. He wondered how it would have been if he and the others had been found by Nasedo at the same time as Tess. The image that came to him wasn't very pleasing. But she'd been through that all by herself. No one to comfort her if she was scared or sad, no one to play with...
"What did he tell you about us?" he asked.
"Not much... just that there were three others like me somewhere... and that one of them was my... husband, back on our world." They were silent. "What about you?" she asked slowly.
"The beginning, the starting point of our lives... it was mostly one confusing event after another... We lost Michael that night, I... never forgave myself. I should have urged him to follow us more strongly... If he had, he wouldn't have been stuck with Hank..." She put her hand on his shoulder, sensing his distress.
"Isabel and I were luckier. I remember... the first few days at home, I didn't feel at home yet... I hated it, didn't want to stay. But there was nowhere else to go... I also had to think about Isabel, and how SHE felt. But, eventually things settled down a bit... we found Michael, and it was the three of us.
"After we were reunited, I wanted to make sure we'd all be safe. I couldn't always protect them, but I did what I could. One of the hardest things was not telling my parents. I mean, they found us, gave us a home, and their love... and we were lying to them. We wanted to tell them, but we were just scared... of how they'd react, what they'd say..."
"How they'd look at you..." continued Tess subconsciously.
"Exactly," said Max, looking to her. She realized she'd said it aloud and looked up at him.
"I know how that is... So many times I wanted to tell my friends, just sit them down and explain it all... but every time, I would get an image in my mind of... horror and... I couldn't."
"When... Liz, Maria, Alex and Kyle, and even the Sheriff, fount out... they took it relatively well, that gave me... relief," said Max.
"Think they'll ever accept me?" asked Tess, absently, "I mean, I didn't make a... great first impression." She was right... to them, she had been the beginning of all the problems, although it had been against her will. He understood that now, and he didn't want her to feel the way she had as a kid, again.
"They'll learn to know you... it might take some time... but it'll get better, I promise."
"Thanks," she said with a smile, then as she saw outside the window, "The storm's over." He turned and saw it as well. "I should get home. Nasedo's probably wondering where the heck I've been."
"Yeah. My parents will be back soon, I guess. Isabel too... wherever she went," said Max as they got up. Tess put her coat on as they headed for the door.
"I'll, uh... see you tomorrow," said Tess, as she opened the door.
"Yeah," said Max, then, "Be careful out there." She glanced up to him with a grin.
"Alright. Bye." He watched her walk until she reached the sidewalk, then closed the door.
Outside, Tess walked along, not caring she'd stepped in puddles along the way. She felt good, better than she had in a very long time. Not even the knowledge that she'd have to deal with Nasedo when she got home could have changed her mood. Although she couldn't wait to see his face when he heard she was with Max the whole time. For once, things were looking up in her life.
It will all be better...won't it? She NEEDED it to get better, to be accepted by Liz and Maria... and Alex... and Kyle. She couldn't take the loneliness anymore... It was deafening, the silence had become one of her worst enemies...
"Oh... yeah..."
"I'm guessing Nasedo didn't care much."
"No... he didn't. He'd just say stuff like, 'We survived a spaceship crash, this is nothing.' I hated when he said that."
"But we weren't even born yet," observed Max.
"I know! I tried to make him understand how I felt, but..."
"I'm sorry," said Max.
"About what?"
"Not waiting for you..." She smiled.
"It's okay. I mean, growing up with Nasedo has taught me a lot... even if it meant being all by myself most of the time."
"Wasn't big on human friends, uh?"
"Nope."
"But you seem okay." She looked up. "I mean, you're not completely cut off from the world or anything," he explained.
"Well, just because he wouldn't let me make human friends, didn't mean I would listen. I made some friends. He never knew about them, that's all."
"Oh..."
"In fact, if I hadn't been sneaking around, we would probably still be looking around for you."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, a couple months ago, I wanted to have a party with my friends. I needed him to leave, so I suggested he go look in Roswell. He hesitated at first, but eventually went. So I had the party, it was great and everything. A few days later, he came back. He'd found you. So we packed up everything and moved here. I never got to say goodbye to my friends."
"Wow," said Max. Suddenly, he felt a bit sorry for her. Even if she said it was okay, he couldn't help it.
"I understand how it must have felt a bit... when I was little, I wanted nothing more than to... belong... you know?" She nodded. "I knew that I was different from the other kids... I hated that. I had this big secret and I couldn't tell anyone. Not the teachers, or the kids at school, not even my parents. I wanted nothing more than just being like them... normal. I mean... they didn't know there was something different about me, and yet I still remained in my corner... as time went by, I started blending in, but there was still the secret..."
He turned and saw she was looking at him. He wanted to turn away, but he couldn't. He didn't know why, but he didn't WANT to look away from her. She had this look of complete understanding on her face. Michael and Isabel understood as well, but not the way Tess did. How was that?
It didn't really matter now... the important thing right then, was that he'd found someone who understood entirely how he felt... as she had been feeling the same way. He was confused, didn't know what he wanted anymore.
"Max?" he heard her say. He turned.
"Uh?"
"You seemed a bit lost there."
"Sorry, I was just thinking... Can I ask you a question?" She blinked, then nodded. "What was it like? After you'd come out of the pod... with Nasedo..." She took a moment to think her words through.
"Well... at first, I didn't fully know what was happening. I mean, how could I? Everything was new to me. I was very curious... wanting to know more and more. But Nasedo wouldn't allow it. He didn't want me to... get distracted. For a while, he wouldn't even let me out of the house... didn't want me to see the other people, the humans.
"There were times I'd climb up to the window, to look at the families going in and out of their homes... happy... One time, he caught me. After that, he never let me out of his sight. Eventually, when he thought I was 'concentrated' enough, I was allowed to go to regular schools. The first day of school... that was one of the best days of my life."
Max was speechless. He wondered how it would have been if he and the others had been found by Nasedo at the same time as Tess. The image that came to him wasn't very pleasing. But she'd been through that all by herself. No one to comfort her if she was scared or sad, no one to play with...
"What did he tell you about us?" he asked.
"Not much... just that there were three others like me somewhere... and that one of them was my... husband, back on our world." They were silent. "What about you?" she asked slowly.
"The beginning, the starting point of our lives... it was mostly one confusing event after another... We lost Michael that night, I... never forgave myself. I should have urged him to follow us more strongly... If he had, he wouldn't have been stuck with Hank..." She put her hand on his shoulder, sensing his distress.
"Isabel and I were luckier. I remember... the first few days at home, I didn't feel at home yet... I hated it, didn't want to stay. But there was nowhere else to go... I also had to think about Isabel, and how SHE felt. But, eventually things settled down a bit... we found Michael, and it was the three of us.
"After we were reunited, I wanted to make sure we'd all be safe. I couldn't always protect them, but I did what I could. One of the hardest things was not telling my parents. I mean, they found us, gave us a home, and their love... and we were lying to them. We wanted to tell them, but we were just scared... of how they'd react, what they'd say..."
"How they'd look at you..." continued Tess subconsciously.
"Exactly," said Max, looking to her. She realized she'd said it aloud and looked up at him.
"I know how that is... So many times I wanted to tell my friends, just sit them down and explain it all... but every time, I would get an image in my mind of... horror and... I couldn't."
"When... Liz, Maria, Alex and Kyle, and even the Sheriff, fount out... they took it relatively well, that gave me... relief," said Max.
"Think they'll ever accept me?" asked Tess, absently, "I mean, I didn't make a... great first impression." She was right... to them, she had been the beginning of all the problems, although it had been against her will. He understood that now, and he didn't want her to feel the way she had as a kid, again.
"They'll learn to know you... it might take some time... but it'll get better, I promise."
"Thanks," she said with a smile, then as she saw outside the window, "The storm's over." He turned and saw it as well. "I should get home. Nasedo's probably wondering where the heck I've been."
"Yeah. My parents will be back soon, I guess. Isabel too... wherever she went," said Max as they got up. Tess put her coat on as they headed for the door.
"I'll, uh... see you tomorrow," said Tess, as she opened the door.
"Yeah," said Max, then, "Be careful out there." She glanced up to him with a grin.
"Alright. Bye." He watched her walk until she reached the sidewalk, then closed the door.
Outside, Tess walked along, not caring she'd stepped in puddles along the way. She felt good, better than she had in a very long time. Not even the knowledge that she'd have to deal with Nasedo when she got home could have changed her mood. Although she couldn't wait to see his face when he heard she was with Max the whole time. For once, things were looking up in her life.
It will all be better...won't it? She NEEDED it to get better, to be accepted by Liz and Maria... and Alex... and Kyle. She couldn't take the loneliness anymore... It was deafening, the silence had become one of her worst enemies...