Disclaimer: There
are a few Final Fantasy VII characters in here, please don't sue us for using
them - we don't have any money any way!!
They belong to Square not us sigh, but not for lack of trying!! The chibis are ours, but I don't know who
in their right mind would want to steal them in the first place! By the way, no Mogs where harmed in the
making of this fan fic!
THE PINK
APOCALYPSE: CAIT SITH'S DAY OUT
By: Pink_Apocalypse
Chapter One:
May the Disembodied
Head of Chibi Cid be With You
The train
screeches to a halt as it pulls into the Midgar depot in sector three and the
passengers collect their belongs and exit onto the dingy platform. After the crowd moves away the last two
passengers saunter out.
The older of the two has her hair tied back in a bouncy
ponytail with bangs hanging down in her eyes.
Her sharp hazel eyes move over the scene as the other walks up behind
her. She is similar in appearance and
from their nearly
identical eyes it is obvious that they are sisters. Her shoulder length light brown hair wildly
dances around her face as she looks up, adjusting the goggles perched on her
head.
"OK Kree,"
the oldest says with determination in her eyes, "we're almost to our target and
we're not going to screw up this mission like we did the last one."
Kree looks up
in annoyance, "That mission to Disneyland doesn't count. How
the hell was I supposed to fit the whole Dumbo ride in your
purse anyway!"
Jen cocks her
head to the side, "I don't know, but we didn't have to blow up
three gift shops and the tea cup ride on our way out."
Kree grimaces, "Yea, the Disembodied
Head of Chibi Cid was pretty pissed off
about the tea cup thing."
"You know how
much he liked that ride... it almost crushed him... literally."
"Heh...heh...come on let's just focus on the mission," Kree mumbles
tugging
at her flight jacket.
"Hey," Kree almost shouts looking at Jen, "Are you
crazy! You're out of uniform put your goggles back on!"
"Uh... oh
they where messing up my hair! Why can't we have bandannas like
the Chibi Vincent cultists?"
"Cuz we're
not Chibi Vincent cultists! We're Chibi
Cid cultists, or did you
forget," Kree said gesturing to her flight jacket. Both are wearing basically
Cid's costume only
female cut versions, except Jen has a very long nasty sword,
the Save the
Queen to be exact (F.F. Tactics people!), and Kree has a
shot gun equipped
with mugmum parts (Resident Evil people!), for all Chibi Cid
cultists are
required to wear the uniform.
"Ya, I remember,
it's not something I'd forget like our home address, geez!"
Kree rolls
her eyes. "That's why Cid bought you
that collar that says if
lost please call 1800-555-ChibiCid."
"Isn't that
too many numbers?"
"You think
the great and powerful wizard of OZ... oh no I mean the great and
powerful Chibi Cid has to obey the menial laws of the phone
company?!"
"Um... no...
OK anyway back to business!"
"Why did we
have to go all the way from Rocket town to Midgar just to get
Chibi Cid blue Jell-O!
Why doesn't he just use his magical powers and make
some shoot out his as... nose!"
"It is not
our place to question the ways of Cid... besides I think this is
punishment for hanging Shenra from the empty rocket tower again."
"Oh... ya...
forgot we did that. Why did we do
that?"
"Don't know
seemed like the thing to do at the time.
Now, " Jen says looking
toward the old reactor that has been recently transformed
into a Grocery store.
Kree shacks her
head and mutters "Only Shinra." Reactor music begins playing
in the background.
They look up at the huge former reactor and pause for a
moment before rushing in.
Abruptly they stop, turn around, walk back into the
parking lot, and grab a cart before rushing back in.
************************************************************************
*Meanwhile In Rocket Town*
Chibi Cid
floats back and forth passing the floor.
"Look Shenra," he says in
a gruff voice that is intended to be soothing, "I will not
get rid of my
cultists. I got them
from the pound when they where just little."
"But Cid,"
Shenra replies in a an uncharacteristically forceful voice, "This
is the third time this week they've hung me from the rocket
tower! Not to
mention how they've been scarring the locals, which is very
hard in Rocket Town."
"Hey, they
just got spunk!," he says with a grin.
"Shall I go into what they did to the flight crew?
Cid winches,
"No, let's not relive that."
"What about the space crew... they still act
weird on Tuesdays because of that?!"
"Well..."
"And let's
not forget the night they spent howling outside our window?!"
"But..."
"Or the time
they filled the Chocobo pen on the Highwind with whipped cream?!"
"Now $@#%
Shenra! I like 'em they're my cultists
and that's that!"
Shenra kicks
the back of her foot, "Cloud doesn't have this trouble with his cultists."
"Cloud
doesn't have any!"
Shenra sighs,
"Where are they anyway? It's been too
quite."
"I sent 'em
to get blue Jell-O in Midgar, ya got a $&#@ problem with that?"
"No Cid."
"You Know I
can't go to Midgar myself... Not after that damn hair cut!"
"Ya, I know,
it's OK Cid."
Cid glances
at his non-existent wrist and looks at his floating watch. "Ah,
they should be just about %&# done and I told to meet me
in Kalm." With that
he wiggles his nose and fades out of the living room in
Rocket Town.
**********************************************************************
*Back in Midgar**
A loud rumble
followed by a huge explosion follows Jen and Kree as they race
out of what's left of the "grocery store."
"THOSE
PEOPLE! How could they do that to the
planet?!" Jen shouts.
"They're
sucking the life out of it," Kree agrees, "You think Shinra would
have learned by now."
"They know
Styrofoam cups don't biodegrade!"
"Well we sure
taught them! They'll think twice about destroying
the planet
next time they're stalking the picnic supplies aisle!"
"Well at
least we got the Jell-O."
"Ya...," Kree falls silent as a scorched Chibi Rude
walks out of the rubble
mumbling "Paper or Plastic" before falling to the ground,
passing out like a light.
"Well our
work here is done," Kree proclaims with a smile.
"Guess so,
let's meet Chibi Cid in Kalm. Hey,
first let's see if that new CD
is out!"
"Which new
CD?
"Oh you know
the new one!"
"No I don't know."
"Oh come on
let's just go!"
"How we going
to find the 'new one' there's plenty of 'new ones'?"
Jen groans and grabs
her wrist and heads for the music store in a huff.
************
After an hour
of diligent searching they find the "new one" and head for the
counter with Kree mumbling something to the effect of Jen
should have been a
Cloud cultist. In
front of them in line looms a huge pink mass.
"Hey, isn't
that Cait Sith's Mog?," Jen asks.
"Well I don't
know there are plenty of mogs," Kree growls.
"Sorry just
looks like Cait's mog. "
In front of them the mog grumbles, "Why do I have to wait in
line when I'm
destined to rule the world!," as he places an armful of
Brittany Spears and N'sync
CD's of the counter.
Then a smile spreads across his furry face. As he
reaches for his wallet a things to do list falls out of his
pocket.
Jen reaches
for it to give it back to him, but not before reading it herself.
Pink Apocalypse's To Do List:
1. Rob a bank - check
2. Steal Sephiroth's sword - check
3. Buy a Carton of Milk - check
4. Buy all the
N'sync CD's in the world
5. Feed Fluffy -check
6. Buy all the
Brittany Spears CD's
7. Learn the ancient incantation of the Dancing Mog
8. Kill Cait Sith
9. Pick up the laundry from Bob's
10. Don't forget to TAKE OVER THE WORLD*** Dun Da DA!
"Does this say take over the world?," Jen asks raising an
eyebrow.
Kree leans
over, "I think your missing the point sis.
Why would anyone in
their right mind what Brittany Spears and N'sync CDs?!"
"Maybe we
should show this to Chibi Cid. And who
the #%* is the Pink Apocalypse?"
"What a
crappy name!" Just then the clerk
called "next" and Jen stepped up
and placed her "new CD" on the counter. After paying for Jen's purchase the
two of them rushed out the door towards Kalm, almost
forgetting they where on
the upper plate before stopping at the edge and running back
to the train station.
**************************************************************************Kalm**
"What's
taking them so $@#% Long!" Chibi Cid
roared just as Kree and Jen
come bursting through the door.
"We've been
waiting outside for fifteen minutes," Jen says exasperated.
"Why the $&^$ did you do that!?"
"We had to be
on que, duh!," Kree answers.
"Watch it
girl! Did ya get the Jell-o?"
"Ya, here,"
Jen says holding up the box.
"Hey, I was wondering
Cid," Kree began, "Why are you the disembodied head of
Chibi Cid, anyway?"
"Ya remember
that really bad hair cut I told you about?"
"The one that
you won't go back to Midgar because of?," Jen asked.
"Ya, well,
let's just say it was really bad." Both
girls grown.
"Anyway, ya
didn't blow anything up this time did you?," Chibi Cid asks, he
would have had his hands on his hips at this particular
moment had he not been
the disembodied head
of Chibi Cid.
"Um... uh...
no," both reply in unison.
"But anyway
Chibi Cid you should look at the list," Jen says quickly to
change the subject and thrusts the piece of paper toward
Chibi Cid.
**************************************************************************Meanwhile
Elsewhere**
Mortal combat
music begins playing in the background as Cait Sith looks up at
his Mog. His cute
eyes squint up in concern. "Hey Mog
what are you doing,"
he laughs nervously as it advances towards him.
"I'm not you
pathetic Mog any more. I'm so much better, for I control the
armies of the Dancing Mogs!! I am the PINK ONE!! I am oblivion made of
cotton! I AM THE
PINK APOCALYPSE!!!
"You don't
mean that we're buddies," He shifts uncomfortably and tries to
smile at his Mog, "Um... I don't get it what do you mean?"
"I'm the one
calling the shots now!!! You can no
longer control me!!! I
will be the manipulator!!"
"Mog...?"
"Enough talk
Cait!," the Mog shouts and swings his fist up, sending Cait
flying across the room. The mog looks at his watch, "Time to
die Cait!" The
cat pulls himself up and reaches for his crown sniffing back
tears. "I don't
think so Cait," The Pink Apocalypse laughs and steps on
Cait's hand twisting
and pulling his tiny arm off. Cait howls in pain as cotton spills onto the
floor. "Always shouting orders in you damn Mega Phone!! I won't take it any more!!"
"Don't you
mean 'your'," Cait sniffs between screams.
The Mog reaches down
and grabs the crown placing it on his head, then laughing he
pulls out the Murasame.
"Shut you
hole!"
In Horror,
Cait ignores that last piece of bad grammar and squeaks, "That's
... that was Sephiroth's sword!!!" The mog smiles slashing
down and even as
Cait screams his final cry cotton fills the air.
**************************************************************************Back
in Kalm**
"I know who
the Pink Apocalypse is," Chibi Cid says
and again if he had not
been the disembodied
head of Chibi Cid he would have scratched his chin here.
"It was five years
ago in Nibelheim..."
**INSERT FLASH BACK HERE**
Finally Chibi
Cid finishes and the room is silent. As
Jen and Kree's sit
quietly totally missing the point of the flash back, Jen
looks up and asks,
"How are you going to eat that Jell-O?"
"And where
does it go?," Kree adds.
Chibi Cid
sighs and sways back and forth, "You $^%$ totally missed the point
of the story!!," then in exasperation wiggles his nose and
disappears.
"Think he's
mad?" Kree asks. Just then there is knock at the door. Jen walks
over and answers it.
"Telegram"
"For us?,"
she asks.
"Well I'm
delivering it to your door, ain't I," the telegram dude says. Jen
glares at him and grabs the slip of paper and begins to read
out loud.
"Cait is
dead. Stop. You are next. Stop."
"What??!!! Who sent that?!!!,"
"You
bastard! Oh well, He's not that good of
a character anyway," Kree shrugs.
"Hey I didn't send it... sorry" the telegram
dude says.
"Why would
anyone kill Cait?"
"I bet Chibi
Cid would know," Kree proclaims, jumping up. Kree looks up to
see the disembodied head of Chibi Cid float in.
"Hey look
speak of the disembodied head of Chibi Cid and he will appear."
"Had you been
listening to my flash back you would know too! But first I have
something important to say all life depends of what I have
to say....."
"You speak
and we listen oh great disembodied head of Chibi Cid!!!!!," Jen
cries.
Then falls to the ground on one knee and gazes upon the holy
light of Chibi
Cid arms outstretched to behold the glory. Kree stands there absent-mindedly
(Like Cloud ... kya ha ha) for a moment before remembering
what is going on
and falls to her knees as well.
"La de da
La de da
La
de
da"
"Oh great
Disembodied head of Chibi Cid may I ask one question what the hell
does that mean, how is that going to help us and how do you
scratch your nose?
Ok that
was more than one question, but who's counting," Kree
says.
"%*^% do
not mock the disembodied head of Chibi Cid ya whipper snapper!!!"
"Oh
disembodied head of Chibi Cid she did not mean it!! Please forgive us!
She is living in her own imaginary world," Jen says
whimpering.
"So sorry
great disembodied head of Chibi Cid. It won't happen again," Kree
says, then whispers so that Jen can only hear, "Ass kisser."
Jen turns and
glares at Kree. Whispering Jen says,
"Am not!! Besides he is the
DISEMBODIED head of
Chibi Cid... I couldn't kiss his ass even if I wanted to!"
Kree
whispers, "Oh yeah, I forgot."
"Hem...
All will be know in time... I sense evil forces here and my time is
short... if anything happens to me remember Chibi Vincent...
and my words."
He smiles sweetly that the group. Jen moves to attach him
for no particular
reason with her Save the Queen out stretched trying to pull back she raises the
blade for the fatal cut.
"What are you
making me do!," Jen yells. The telegram
guy looks on intrigued.
"What are you
doing!," Kree shouts.
"Um... I
don't know?"
"What the
hey...," the telegram guy says
"This seems
oddly familiar for some reason...," Jen mutters. From above the
disembodied head of Chibi Cid the Pink Apocalypse descends
like a dark angle
from the skies, purple wings swirling behind in a esoteric
dance. The
Murasame gleaming in hand as he runs it through the head of
the disembodied
head of Chibi Cid.
Chibi Cid's eyes slide shut as he falls to the ground and
the cigarette clenched tightly in his teeth falls to the
ground, slowly
bouncing down the stairs before disappearing into the
endless abyss of the
blue waters in the center of the room. No blood present anywhere. The Pink
apocalypse raises his head, red eyes gleaming.
"Hey where's
the blood," Kree yells, "Oh yeah disembodied head of Chibi Cid!"
Both scream
the girls scream,
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Chibi
Cid!!" The Aeris
death song begins playing in the background. Jen runs to
catch the head and
remains kneeling on the ground back turned to the Pink
Apocalypse.
"Oh my god
you killed the disembodied head of Chibi Cid, YOU BASTARD!!!!!,"
Kree yells, "Say that three times fast!"
"This can't
be real!," Jen cries.
"Do not
worry.
Soon the girl
will become
part of the
planet's energy," the Pink Apocalypse laughs.
"Hey what the
hell are you talking about. Chibi Cid is a GUY!," Kree shouts.
"Oh sorry, I
got my scripts confused," the Pink Apocalypse says and pulls another
script out of thin air and studies it for a moment. "Heh heh... Don't get so
uptight soon the disembodied head's power will become part
of the mog's
energy! All that is left is to North. The great Chukie
Cheese waits for me
over the snowy fields.
There I will raise-"
"Shut
up. Chukie Cheeses' and your stupid
plan don't mean a thing," Jen
sobs.
Chibi Cid is
gone.
Cid will no
longer laugh, cry-"
"Or get angry...," Kree adds.
Jen pulls the
head closer to her, "What about us...what are WE supposed to do?
What about my pain?
My fingers are tingling.
My mouth is dry.
My eyes are burning!"
"Ok, OK
enough!!! Your getting too melodramatic, Jen shut up. NOW!!," Kree orders.
"What is
wrong it's just a floating head," the Pink Apocalypse snickers.
"Of course!
Who do you
think I am!," Jen bursts out and gently sets the disembodied head
on the ground.
The Pink
Apocalypse, the telegram man, and Kree turn and stare at her for a
moment. "WHAT!!?,"
they all say.
Jen blushes,
"Sorry got a little carried away.
Please continue."
"All
right....," the Pink Apocalypse says, "Where do we go from here... Oh
yea... You are a puppet... bla bla bla... But that does not
matter for soon
none of you will exist!
When I arrive at Chukie Cheese I will put my master
plan in action to reincarnate all
of the dead Final Fantasy characters as evil Mogs to take over
the world and
then Disneyland... I just love that Dumbo ride."
Kree
mumbles," Good thing we didn't blow up the Dumbo ride," as the Pink
Apocalypse reaches into his pocket.
"Aha! Damn!," he snaps his fingers, "I forgot my
little hench man... oh well
you can fight him later!" With that twirls around and
disappears into the sky.
Kree walks
over to the corpse of Chibi Cid and puts her hand over her heart
and looks to the sky. Jen moves over and gently picks the
head up and carries
it to the water where she gingerly releases it into the pool
and Cid slowly
slips into the deep blue waters.
"Now what the
hell do we do?," Kree asks.
"We gotta
believe! heheheh.. wrong game... I mean we must go on for Chibi
Cid, we can not allow the Pink Apocalypse to carry out his
evil plot... do you
know what this could mean??
Rufus could be turned into a MOG!!
NOOO!!!"
"What about
Marlene! Chibi Cid too!!"
"Marlene is
not dead Barret," Jen replies with sarcasm.
"I wish she
was dead. How about we go and kill her?"
"Um...
later... First we have to find Chibi Vincent... Cid said to go to him
if anything happened to him."
"Ok, lets
go," Kree says. They turn and walk away
from the pond in their hotel room with the telegram dude following.
End Disk One
