The Pink Apocalypse: Cait Sith's Day Out
By: Pink_Apocalypse
Chapter
2:
Under Da Sea
Jen's brow knotted up in worry as she clenched the wheel tighter trying to figure where she was and how the heck she managed to get lost in between Kalm and Chocobo Billy's. Come to think of it, the last really recognizable feature she had seen was the giant Emerald Weapon chasing behind her as she drove along the sea floor. "WAIT!!!" she thought to herself, "Did I just say SEA FLOOR??!!!"
"Oh Kree is gonna kill me," she moaned as she glanced over at the sleeping form next to her in the passenger's seat. "How did I manage to get this lost?" she thought looking in the rear view mirror to gaze at the sleeping telegram man in the backseat. There was something about a man in a blue uniform. As she stared at him for a "moment" she realized the radio seemed to be playing Disney tunes from the Little Mermaid. Grumbling she flicked off the radio as some one belted out the lines "darling its better down where its wetter take if from me!" "Eyes on the…. um… kelp," she shouted at herself as she suddenly realized that maybe part of the reason she had had trouble staying on the road was, just maybe, that she had not looked at it once for in the past two hours.
She looked back in the mirror one last time and sighed before her eyes returned to the "road." "Now," she mumbled, "I really have to figure out where we are and get back on the main road… and before Kree wakes up or there will be hell to pay. Now, if I can think back to where I got lost maybe I can figure out where I am now… think, think! Okay, okay… I remember being in the hotel room in Kalm and then… then what?… I remember being here! Where the hell did I get this buggy!!!"
Suddenly she was rocked out of her reverie as she saw two people walk by off to the side of the buggy. "YES!!," she exclaimed, "I must be close to land because everybody knows that you can hold your breath underwater for twenty minutes and only twenty minutes to fight monsters, go fishing, sight seeing and what not… unless of course you eat before you get in the water without waiting an half an hour first. If you happened to be the poor sap that ate a pop tart before jumping in - then it just means certain DEATH!!!"
Looking over at Kree again Jen was really beginning to think that she would kill for a pop tart right about now. Suddenly, she heard something stir in the back seat. As her eyes returned to the rearview mirror she shrieked in horror, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
Slightly startled, Telegram Man froze with his hand on the window rolly-down thingy. "What, its stuffy in here."
"For the love of all things Chibi, NO! If you open that window it will be the biggest mistake of your life... not to mention the last!!!"
"What are you talking about," he mumbled," as he turned to look out of the window and saw a giant yellow eye of a whale staring in. "WHAT THE!!!," he shouted and after a pause he added, "… I think I saw just Moby Dick."
"Who's talking about their dick!!!," Kree roared suddenly as she jumped up slamming her head on the roof of the buggy. "Ow," she said rubbing her head and looking around, "What am I doing in a buggy?? And whoever said that shut up!!!." She turned her head to the side and looked out the window. "Holy $@&*^%$#!!!!!!!," she shrieked and proceeded to jump up again and slam her head on the roof instantly knocking herself out.
"Shush!, " Jen said to Kree's comatose form. " You sound like the… oh Disembodied Head of Chibi Cid!," she wailed and threw her hands up sobbing.
"The wheel, the WHEEL," Telegram yelled.
"Oh, I'm watching the wheel!," she moaned.
"Um no! I meant to scream: The whale!! THE WHALE!! I think it's trying to … um… well eat us now!!!!."
"Um… I think this would qualify as a bad thing."
"Oh, yes, this is a bad thing!
"Wait! I have a plan!! Every good Chibi Cid Cultist is prepared for a situation like this. You always gotta be prepared, ya know!"
"Isn't that the boy scouts motto?"
Ignoring him Jen continued, "Ok here's the plan. When I give you the signal you roll down my window…"
"What! We'll drown!"
"No, remember we have twenty minutes. After you roll down the window I'll light a stick of dynamite…"
"Dynamite? Where did you get dynamite?"
She rolled her eyes tapping the goggles on her head. "Whose cultist am I? Anyway, I'll light the dynamite..."
"Under water?"
"Yes, I don't get it either, but apparently fire follows the same twenty minute rule as people under water – go figure – but anyway here is the important part of the plan. Once the dynamite is lit I'll throw it at the whale!"
He shook his head, "Oh that's clever, Captain Ahab!"
"Just shut up and wait for the signal! Just then the whale opened its mouth and swam around in front of the buggy. As Jen shouted, "NOW!," Telegram rolled down the window, water rushed into the cabin, and Jen hurled the dynamite out the window. The stick exploded in a bright flash of light and the whale, the buggy, its two conscious, screaming occupants, and its one comatose passenger were flung high into the air.
Authors notes: And there ya go a quick Chapter Two ended with a Bang! Heh heh heh, bad puns gotta love 'em. Sorry this kinda sucks, but I'm supposed to
be studying – next time it'll be better – scout's honor! Stay tuned for the
next installment as disco fever hits the world and Christmas in July in
Cosmo! Wait it's still May –
whatever! Next time the attack of the
dancing MOGS!!!
And special thanks to our
editor/ collaborator Sha the Confused and consultant the Great and Powerful
Robinc!