Neon Genesis Evangelion – Living in Chaos
Presented by: Yo Soy El Sexy Bitch Inc.
Written and Posted by: R.J. Shino (The Sexy Bitch Himself)
[Insert Disclaimer]
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Warnings: Standard NGE Warning (Blood, Violence, Cursing, and ECT.)
Author's Notes: Yes, I will have the lyrics for the theme in every episode, it's practically a template. I also got a really great idea this morning, so I've written in a little crossover with Ranma ½. Nothing major, just some humorous antics. I'll explain the distinct references at the end. The Ranma characters don't mess with the story line. There will be PLOT DEVELOPMENT in this episode; the prologue, episode 1, and episode 2 are part of a very important trio, the setup, the reintroduction, and the continuance. SO DON'T FUCK WITH ME!
PS: Notice the By titles? I'm full of myself, and I know it.
"" Denotes speech
** Denotes thought
* * * * *
Living in Chaos Theme – Offspring - Living in Chaos
Got a singsong, man it goes like this
So when the time was right
Could've been calling down
This world is hard to fight
Beating your ways hit it again
You know the way it feels
Everyone gets knocked down
When you get up it's real
Taking it back, turn it around
CHORUS:
Get on it, up on it, get on it
Wouldn't wanna be you
Get on it, up on it, get on it
Never gonna be you
You know when you're keeping it slow
Better where you're gonna go
Wouldn't wanna be you
Get on it, up on it
It's over when you're living in chaos
Somewhere along the line
Things get chipped away
This place keeps going down
Getting worse every day
I see the hate and greed
This world's messed up town
Release the pain and see
Taking in back, turn it around
CHORUS:
Get on it, up on it, get on it
Wouldn't wanna be you
Get on it, up on it, get on it
Never gonna be you
You know when you're keeping it slow
Better where you wanna go
Wouldn't wanna be you
Get on it, up on it
It's over
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling
Ya ya ya
Ya ya ya
Ya ya ya
Ya ya ya
Got a sing song and it goes like this
So when the time was right
Could've been calling down
This world is hard to fight
Beating your ways hit it again
But you know the way it feels
Everyone gets knocked down
When you get up it's real
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling
(Ya ya ya)
Get on it, up on it, get on it
(Ya ya ya)
Get on it, up on it, get on it
Never gonna be you
Get on it, up on it, get on it
(Ya ya ya)
* * * * *
EPISODE 2: Sixth
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Shinji gasped for air as Mana broke off the awkward kiss. A voice called out behind them,
"See, I told ya that ya shouldn't have sent her off to the 'Golden Pair Skating Academy'! Now she's gonna wind up a sex-obsessed neurotic, eh...P-CHAN!" Shinji pulled himself up in time to see two men. The first man, the one that had spoken, looked as if he was probably in his late thirties, whose black hair was tied into a single pigtail. The other man...P-Chan...? Odd name. Well, P-Chan was wearing a yellow tunic and some black sweatpants, but had a yellow and black bandanna on. He carried a large pack and an umbrella. Shinji got to his feet and shook off the aftereffects of his previous experience. Mana turned towards the men.
"I will not, Uncle Ranma! And I wanted to go, so how could Uncle Ryoga say no to me?" * Boy, she has a lot of uncles...or maybe...EWWWW. I don't want to think about that! *
"Yeah Ranma, how could I?"
"Gee, I wonder how your can will be so thin, but your head so thick."
"Shut up Ranma." The pig-tailed man, Ranma, chuckled.
"Fine, fine, but don't let Taro catch you spoiling her...or a yeti-riding-bull-while-carrying-eel-and-crane will hurt you..." Ryoga grimaced. Shinji still had no idea what was going on.
"Excuse me, but...WHAT THE FLYING FUCK JUST TRANSPIRED!" Ranma rubbed the back of his head.
"Well, last I heard, Mana-chan stepped out of the plane, kissed you, left you gasping for air, an' then me and P-Chan here started arguing..."
"Fine, great, but you are...?"
"Oh yeah! I'm Saotome Ranma, the BEST martial artist in the WORLD," he said, emphasizing best and world, "and this is Hibiki Ryoga, loser, pig, and blockhead extraordinare."
"SHUT UP RANMA!"
"Huh, and I am..." The new person wore a blue lizard-scale vest, with bracers and baggy pants.
"PANTYHOSE!" Ranma interrupted, making the boy flush with anger.
"KIRASHIMA!" The boy continued, "TARO!" Everyone was silent for an awkward moment. "So, what did I miss?" Ranma explained what had happened, in remarkable length, considering the actual time it took for the events to occur. The boy once more flushed with anger, this time a bright and flaming aura surrounded him. (Think from the English dub Ranma Manga volume 15, Japanese volume 17, when Ranma comes home and Nabiki latches onto him, and there's Akane, with that big aura and contorted face, paste that onto Taro and you've got it.) Taro turned towards Shinji and roared,
"WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY DAUGHTER!"
"Whoa, DAUGHTER? I thought you were her brother!"
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT MY YOUTHFUL FEATURES AND MY OVERALL AND ETERNAL SEXYNESS (Oh yeah, there's the R.J. Shino touch.) MAKE ME SEEM YOUNGER! I'M REALLY THIRTY-SEVEN!"
"Riiiight. She kissed me, not the other way around." Taro's aura faded and his face returned to normal. He grabbed Shinji by the collar and shoved him against the wall.
"Sorry, boy, but I gotta pound you to take out my own anger over Mana not being my little girl anymore."
"Y'know, last time someone said something like that they wound up dead in the hospital a year later. But before that, he paid an arm and a leg...literally." Taro smiled.
"I think I might like you, boy." Shinji looked at Taro sarcastically, which Taro misinterpreted as expectantly. "What, do you want a hug or something?"
"Judging by the way you act and dress, I expected it." Taro fumed. "Also the lack of a single chick accompanying you contributed." Taro slammed Shinji back into the wall, choking him.
"I'm betting there's a sad and depressing story behind Mana's mom, isn't there." Shinji rasped. Taro nodded. "Well let's hear it."
"Why?"
"If your daughter is gonna chase me, I'd like to know about her mom."
"Fine."
FLASHBACK, as narrated by KIRASHIMA Taro
Nermia, Tokyo, 1998
I met Mana's mother, Tendo Akane, after I kidnapped her to get my revenge on a dirty little fucker named Happosai. During that time, we talked some and nothing more. She seemed to be nice at heart, if not horribly unskilled at household duties. She was skilled in martial arts, but only from a beginner's point of view. Ranma, Ryoga, and myself were on another level entirely, so she was as slow and weak as a slug in a salt-water fishbowl.
About a year after Ranma had defeated Saffron, a very worthy contender, I went to their home in Nermia, only to find Akane crying because of Ranma. Well, I dug deep, and I found out what had happened. It turned out that Ranma had went and chose one of his fiancees. He chose Shampoo, not a bad choice. Don't diss the name. This, as irony would have it, was right after Ryoga had gone and married a pig farmer, Akari. So I cheered her up, we started dating, and soon enough, we got married and Mana was born.
About five years later, Christmas day, to be precise, I woke up, surprisingly, before Mana. I woke Mana up, and while she eagerly awaited Akane's return from her morning jog so she could open her presents, I stepped outside. I never expected what I saw next. There Akane was, lying in the snow face down, sprawled out. There were gunshot wounds in her back, and on her arm, kanji was inscribed, reading 'Hatred was Responsible'. She was dead. Mana stepped out to see if she could spot Akane...and she didn't stop screaming for three years...
END FLASHBACK
Taro roughly let go of Shinji.
"So there, happy now? Mana was a little psychiatric case for three years." Shinji remained expressionless.
"Glad you told me." Gendo tapped Taro on the shoulder.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!" He yelled. Gendo remained unfazed.
"We need to depart for NERV." Shinji examined that statement.
"Wait a minute, WE? I thought it was just the pilots, Misato, and you?"
"Kirashima has been hired, along with Saotome and Hibiki, as battle strategists and combat developers, due to their colorful...history...of fighting. That is why they accompanied the Sixth." * Ah, already referring to Mana as an object. All the less trouble when he has to 'deal with her' and notify Taro. All the more fun when Taro shreds him into bloody ribbons.' Shinji thought.
"Fine then, let's go Rokunbungi." Gendo glared at him.
"COMMANDER Rokunbungi, Pilot. You shall go with the same car you arrived in, along with Rei, the Second, and the Sixth. Captain Saotome will accompany you." Ranma chuckled again, Captain? He could kick this prick's ass in less than a second! How about 'Supreme Overlord of All that lies within this Earth' of course, plain old 'God' would do. But he would settle for Captain. As they walked out to the cars, they went their separate ways. The bald man was still in the suburban, with the car started. Ranma got in front, while Rei, Asuka, Shinji and Mana piled into the second and third rows of two seats, respectively.
"Mein Gott in Himmel...I have to ride with this perverse idioden!"
"Shut up Asuka." Shinji said impassively. The driver took this as a signal and left the airport.
* * * * *
Mana stared at this strange boy quizzically. Sure, she HAD kissed him, but he was still strange. His strange, emotionless way of dealing with everything that came across him puzzled her, especially this thing with Asuka. Something had happened before, something big, and she was determined to find out. Asuka spent the entire trip rambling and complaining about Shinji.
"Hey Rei, don't you agree that Shinji's the biggest asshole on the face of the earth?"
"No. I do not believe Shinji fits that description at all."
"Erg...spoilsport...Hey Mana! You agree with me, right?"
"Asuka, what did he do to you to piss you off so much?" Mana asked. Asuka's face darkened.
"Ask him yourself."
"Fine, be that way."
"I will."
"What do you have against him? He's a great kisser, after all." Asuka whirled on the poor girl.
"WHAT DO YOU KNOW, YOU FUCKING SLUT!" This caused Ranma to snap out of his nap.
"Whaa...Shampoo, don't stop...Hey, what's going on! Who's a fucking slut?"
"Ummm...no one?" Asuka said.
"Whatever." He went back to sleep.
"Ummm, hey Shinji, where do you live?" Mana asked, desperate to make conversation.
"In the Downtown Apartment Complex, Apartment 312."
"Cool! What's it like?"
"Boring."
"Okay...do you have any friends?"
"Yeah."
"Really? An EVA pilot must have lots of friends! How many do you think you have, Shinji?"
"Two."
"Who? Tell me so I can meet them sometime."
"Aida Kensuke and Suzahara To—" Shinji bit his lip, s single tear falling down his cheek.
"Who? Suzahara—"
"Shut up!" Shinji interrupted. "Aida Kensuke and Horaki Hikari."
"Hikari? Sounds like a girl...is she your...girlfriend?"
"...No."
"Ha! Horaki Hikari is Shinji's friend! When pigs fly! She was my best friend in junior high, we ragged on Shinji all the time!"
"When pigs fly, eh! I'll catapult you out this window and fulfill that prophecy!" Asuka shut up, and sat fuming.
"Both of you shut up. You don't understand her or me.... You CAN'T! YOU WEREN'T THERE, YOU WEREN'T THERE WHEN I PROMISED HIM, RIGHT BEFORE HE DI—" Shinji cut himself off abruptly, recoiling into his seat, almost sobbing. Mana looked at the boy sadly. * What has this boy gone through? * She thought.
The car stopped suddenly.
"This is it. Everyone out." The driver informed. Gendo Company was already there, in front of this worn, wooden shack.
"Good, you have arrived. Welcome..." He stuck a card under one of the wall panels in shack, and the door swung open, revealing a thick metal one, which was already retracting up into the ceiling.
"To NERV..."
* * * * *
NEON GENESIS EVANGELION – LIVING IN CHAOS
LIVING IN CHAOS
EPISODE 2
TEST OF PAIN, FEAR, AND DEATH
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"Welcome to NERV." The door had opened to reveal a large elevator. As they all stepped in, Gendo closed the door and revealed his plans.
"The First, Second, and Third Child will be put into the new simulation plugs, which will send them into simulated combat against each other. They will be synchronized, and they will feel pain. The Sixth Child will be tested on the surface for basic activation tests. Follow the signs." And sure enough, when they disembarked from the elevator, there were signs leading to the simulation chamber. As the children followed them into the locker rooms, Mana went another way.
Shinji was finishing changing into his plug suit, and was about to seal it.
"Why am I doing this?" Shinji sealed his suit, leaving his question unanswered. He walked out to the main chamber, where a technician directed them to the plugs. Shinji boarded his, breathed in the LCL, and prepared for the upcoming fight.
* * * * *
Vice Commander Fuyutsuki watched from behind the Commander as the tactical screen showed the simulated battlefield.
"Sir, are you sure it was wise to call them all back so soon?"
"Yes. It was."
"But why?"
"As you probably know, SEELE has grown...impatient with us. They want Instrumentality now. We cannot do that, so they may retaliate with their Mass Production Evangelion Units."
"Why can't we? We have all the tools...oh, that is the purpose of these EVA vs. EVA tests, isn't it."
"It...does not concur with the agenda, and yes, that is the reason."
* Who's agenda, Gendo? Theirs, ours...or yours? *
* * * * *
Shinji smiled as the simulated EVA broke surface. It felt good to have this much power at your fingertips. While the other Evangelions were running off 50-hour batteries, he was using a S2 Organ. This would be...fun.
Shinji rushed Rei first, if nothing but to get her out of the way. He drew the Progressive Knife as he went, and when he approached her, shoved through her eye and into her brain. Rei was gone.
He smiled as he turned on Asuka, who was rushing him at the time, and blocked her swipe with his own knife. As the blades clashed against each other. He drove hers off and quickly sliced her hand off at the wrist. She dropped the knife and clutched the bloody stump. He proceeded to slug her in the head, leaning into the punch, sending her flying. As he strutted up to her prone body, he yanked her up and slowly gouged out her upper right eye, taking care not to kill her. Blood and gelatinous fluid gushed from the new wound. He proceeded down, relishing the screams he could hear from her own plug. Another one down, so he moved on to the next. And the next after that, finishing by throwing her on the ground.
Maya thought that the worst was over. It was disgusting enough to watch Shinji insanely drive his knife into all of Asuka's eyes, so she didn't believe much worse could happen. She was wrong. She could have swore she had seen a sadistic grin on Unit-01's face as he ground his foot into Asuka's abdomen, cracking the armor and crushing some of the internal components. He grabbed her leg, pulled it and twisted it. He yanked at it and tore at it until, finally, he ripped it out of its socket. Blood gushed from out of the gaping hole as he swung the leg up like a club. Miraculously, Asuka still hadn't been shut down. Maya looked at the commander, who had a small grin plastered on his face. * What the hell is he doing? Asuka can still feel this! * And feeling it she was, at least that was the judgment from the screaming and Asuka clutching her eyes and leg.
"How disgusting." Shinji said as he watched Asuka writhe in pain on the ground. Slowly he raised the dismembered leg to his shoulder and swung sown hard onto her stomach. More of the armor cracked and he heard the squishing of organs beneath it. He raised and swung down again. And again. And again. And so the NERV staff watched as Ikari Shinji beat and mangled Kaji Asuka Langley with her own leg.
Rokunbungi Gendo watched with a smile on his face as Shinji beat the girl. This was how it should be. With this happening every time he went on the battlefield, NERV was unstoppable. SEELE thought that Gendo would only use stable pilots. So they would expect calm battle rhythms. No, not with Shinji on the field and those Nermia barbarians in Development. Now they would win. The Sixth had succeeded in synchronizing with her Evangelion, a surprise, but a good one none the less. Yes, now they had a chance. Gendo's grin widened.
Shinji stood of Asuka bloody and mangled body. Her limbs were drenched in red liquid and askew at odd angles. But she was not dead. She weakly raised her head and opened a channel with Shinji.
"Hah! The greatest EVA pilot in history will never surren—" Shinji shut her up as he swung the leg with all of him might one last time into her head, splattering her simulated brains all over the field. The 'city' blacked out and they were left in their plugs. Shinji climbed out of his and shot a glance at Asuka, who was being helped out of her by three medics. The intercom clicked on and Misato's voice came through.
"SHINJI! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!" Shinji was amazed at her language in front of the NERV staff. "ASUKA COULD SUFFER SERIOUS MENTAL TRAUMA BECAUSEOF YOUR LITTLE ESCAPADE!"
"Good for her." Shinji walked towards the locker rooms
"YOU COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! YOU ARE NOT DISMISSED!" Shinji ignored her and kept going, shutting the door once he reached the lockers. He changed back into his normal clothes and put the plugsuit back. Stepping out of the locker room, he was bombarded by Misato, but before she could actually SAY anything, he spoke.
"What cage is Mana in? I'm going to go greet her, like it or not." Misato fumed.
"Cage 3. Go, before I kick your ass for what you did to Asuka." He walked off, leaving a puzzled Misato to wonder why she let him off the hook.
As Shinji approached the Cage, he thought about what he was going to say. 'Hey, Mana, how'd it go?' No, too casual. 'Hello Mana." Too simplistic. 'Hey Mana, how are you, how did the test go?" Yeah, that's a winner. He opened the door in time to see Mana get out of her plug.
"Hey Shinji-kun!" But Shinji's voice had caught in his throat. He stared at the EVA.
"Shinji-kun, what's wrong?" He stared at it.
The murderous beast.
"...No..."
The grinning epitome of unholy darkness.
"No..."
The thing that ruined him.
"No...no..."
The thing that ruined his life.
"No...no...no...no..."
Evangelion Unit-03
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
* * * * *
END EPISODE 2 (Notes at bottom)
[LIVING IN CHAOS ENDING THEME – Zone of Enders] (Shinji was an experimental ending theme, I like this one better.)
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Ending Notes: About the Ranma references. 1: The Golden Pair/Sex-obsessed Neurotic – The Golden Pair are two of the best Martial Arts Figure Skaters known. They appeared in English Dub Manga Volume 2. The pair was Mikado Sanznein, who was known to kiss every girl he meets, and Azusa Shiratori, who gives anything cute a French name and takes it home. I just felt the Sanzanein complex fit more than if she grabbed Shinji by the ear screaming "Antoine!" Don't you agree? About the yeti-riding-bull-while-carrying-eel-and-crane, Taro is cursed to turn into the yeti-riding-bull-while-carrying-eel-and-crane whenever doused in cold water. About the pantyhose remark, Taro was hunting Happosai so he could change his name from Pantyhose Taro to something else, as he was the only one who could according to village law. Humor ensued. I assume Happosai died in Second Impact, therefore freeing Taro, and allowing him to change his own name. See the Omake below. About Unit-03, I just thought I'd fuck with Shinji some more, and it saved me the time of making a new EVA. I have a pic of it, so e-mail me at
OMAKE:
Taro awoke tied to a chair in a dark room, a single light hanging from the ceiling. Ranma stood in front of him.
"So Taro...why did you choose the name Kirashima? An old girlfriend? Akane would be pissed..."
"Do you really want to know why?" He nodded.
"Are you sure?" He nodded.
"Absolutely sure?" He nodded once more.
"Then prepare to know the horrifying truth behind the name Kirashima!!!"
"And that is...what?" Taro signaled him closer.
"It's because, because, because...IT JUST SOUNDED COOL!!!"
END (scroll down and review.)