Chapter 7: The Truth Comes Out

Derek moaned and shifted uncomfortably on the couch. He stared at the worn material and figured the couch was probably as old as Meredith. The same couch that was covered in a protective dust cover when he and Meredith stumbled through the room in a drunken haze, the night of their first meeting.

Derek sighed and stared at the ceiling. He calculated from the amount of sun that was already shining in through the living room that his alarm would be going off any minute. He hadn't slept much. Even if he would have been able to get comfortable on the couch, his mind still wouldn't have stopped for longer than the few hours he managed to grab. Meredith still wasn't talking to him, and he'd called this old couch his bed for almost a week now. He knew better than to complain though. He made that mistake the second night and Meredith had reminded him, not so nicely that he still had a trailer he could go to. Her voice had been laced with venom and he was sure that if it were possible, death beams would have shot from her eyes.

"G'mornin daddy."

Derek sat up a little and watched as his sleepy daughter trudged down the stairs, curls sticking up in every direction and wrinkled pink Barbie pajamas clinging to her tiny body. Izzie followed close behind, already dressed, and ready for the day.

"Good morning princess." Derek smiled and watched her disappear into the kitchen.

When Meredith didn't appear, he turned his head confused to Izzie. "Where's Meredith?"

"She was the intern assigned to the VIP hemespherectomy today. Dr. Zeta made her go in at three this morning to monitor the patient." Izzie opened her mouth, as if she had more to say, but changing her mind she closed it.

Derek nodded, knowing exactly the case Izzie was referring to. They were removing half of a three-year-old brain. It wasn't just any three-year-old, the patient happened to be the son of one of Washington's most popular former Republican senators. It was a very high-profile case, and a lot of pressure was riding on the outcome. However, he still couldn't help but think having Meredith go in so early was a little extreme.

Derek stood and stretched his kinked back and followed Izzie into the kitchen. He watched his daughter as she eagerly dove into the cold cereal Izzie placed in front of her.

"You don't have to do that Izzie. I can get her ready and drop her off at the center." Derek rubbed his tired face then ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to tame whatever mess he assumed to be up there.

"Oh, it's okay, really. Meredith asked me to so…." Izzie was cut off by the irritation that flashed through Derek's eyes.

He slammed his open hand against the wall where he stood, causing both Izzie and Carwyn to jump. "She's my damn daughter! I can take care of her just fine. Meredith shouldn't have asked you."

Izzie took a step back and nodded. She didn't take his outburst personal. She knew exactly what had been going on between him and Meredith and could only watch on helplessly.

Alex appeared in the doorway behind Derek and shot Izzie a quizzical look. Izzie just shook her head as she crossed over to Carwyn and gave her a kiss on her head.

"Have a good day Carwyn. I'll see you later." She then turned to Alex who was still trying to appraise what was going on and added, "We'll just grab something to eat on the way."

Izzie shot a sympathetic look at Derek as she hurried past him and out the front door. Alex shrugged and gave Carwyn a wink before hustling after his girlfriend.

Derek clinched his hands that were trembling and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He didn't know what was happening to him. This was the old Derek. The sad broken pathetic use of a man, Derek. He was over that. He was repaired and now had the life he had always dreamt of. Sure, Meredith wasn't speaking to him, but she was alive.

His eyes shot open at the thought of Carwyn. He looked down into his daughter's wide, frightened eyes. She sat still, her cereal forgotten and lip trembling.

"I'm sorry Princess. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have yelled like that…" Derek's soft pleading voice trailed off as he crossed the room and knelt beside her.

He took her tiny face in his two large hands and pleaded with her. "Please don't be scared Carwyn. You know how much I love you." Derek tilted her face, so he was looking into the tiny pair of blue eyes that were identical to his own. "You know I love you right Carwyn? That you and your mama mean more to me than anything in this world?"

Carwyn nodded slightly, her eyes still sad and hesitant. Derek couldn't take the unsure way she was staring at him and took her in his arms. He held her close until he felt her tiny body relax and her small arms wrap around his neck.

"I love you too daddy." She whispered, her voice a little unsteady.

Derek stood with her in his arms and asked gently. "Do you want to finish your cereal, or shall we go get dressed?"

"My tummy's full." Was all she answered, keeping her head on his shoulder.

Derek sighed as he started for the stairs. He noticed that she clung a little tighter than usual and still wouldn't look him in the eye. It seemed he couldn't do anything right with any of the women in his life.

Carwyn was reluctant to let go of him when he dropped her off at the daycare center. She looked frightened and insecure as he kissed her forehead, and the teachers looked at him confused. He tried to casually explain that they had had a rough morning and knelt and asked Carwyn if she would like him to come back at lunchtime to eat with her and her friends. That seemed to do the trick and she nodded eagerly, finally letting a small smile steal across her face.

Derek hurried through his tasks that morning. He finished paperwork that had been stacked on his desk and checked in with the head of each department. Cardio, Orthopedics, Obstetrics, Plastics, and Neuro. Things were all set for the highly anticipated surgery, After lingering around for longer than needed, hoping to run into Meredith, he double checked the OR board. The board was balanced skillfully and flawlessly, and Derek couldn't help but think that even Richard Webber, his old mentor and dear friend, would be proud.

Derek glanced at his watch and realized it was already time to join Carwyn for lunch. He made a quick detour at a food cart in one of the hallways, and entered the colorful room just in time to find Carwyn and the other children taking their seats at a miniature table in the center of the room. He was relieved to see Carwyn's face light up when she saw him, and she raced across the room and into his arms.

He took his place in a tiny plastic grey chair at the small table that didn't even pass his knees, and did his best to get comfortable with the awkward arrangement. Derek ate his turkey sandwich silently as the four- and five-year-olds chatted up a storm around him. He relaxed and watched Carwyn in admiration as she animatedly discussed the pink and green play-doh they worked with that morning. She seemed to be completely recovered from their incident that morning, and Derek thought to himself- one down, one to go.

Meredith skimmed the chart with her eyes once more before closing it and setting it back in place. He slept peacefully, his operation only about thirty minutes away. Meredith wondered if she'd be able to sneak a quick visit in with her own child before scrubbing in the long procedure.

She snuck out to the hallway and breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't find Dr. Zeta anywhere. The haughty neurosurgeon was on her case all week and Meredith felt close to breaking. For some reason unbeknownst to Meredith, Dr. Zeta decided she didn't like the intern. Meredith did her best to not let on that the annoyingly stunning doctor was starting to get to her. She put her best face forward, and pretended that she could handle anything the attending decided to throw at her. She hadn't even let Cristina know that it was starting to eat away at her, that she wasn't sure how much more she could take.

Knowing she only had a few minutes before her absence would be noticed, she hurried down the corridor to the day care center was located.

She entered the preschool room and noticed lunch was finished and a few teachers were still clearing off the table. One of the older teachers greeted Meredith at the door with a warm smile.

"Where's Carwyn? I thought I'd visit for a minute. I have a long surgery this afternoon and Dr. O'Malley will be picking up Carwyn this evening when he gets off, and she'll probably already be in bed by the time I get home…so I thought…."

The woman cut off Meredith with an understanding nod. She didn't need to explain, the center was filled with doctors and hospital personnel children, so what Meredith was explaining was a common scenario.

"Of course, Dr. Grey. Carwyn is right over there in the kitchen center. The children are sure enjoying the company of her father. I never knew what a natural Dr. Shepherd was with children." The teacher gestured towards the back of the room, before turning and leaving Meredith alone, looking confused.

Meredith slowly crossed the room and stopped in her tracks when understanding dawned on her. Sitting at a tiny wooden kitchen set, his back to her, was Derek. His knees were tucked uncomfortably to his chest, a frilly hat placed carefully on dark hair, sipping a tiny plastic teacup as four small girls looked on excitedly. Carwyn led the game of pretend as Meredith heard her order Derek to take a bite of his cranberry almond crescent. Meredith stifled a laugh, realizing Carwyn was spending way too much time in the kitchen with Izzie.

Meredith saw she hadn't been noticed by her daughter yet, so she ducked to the side out of view, wanting to observe unseen for a minute longer.

"Can I have some more juice girls?" Derek offered the minute cup to a blond girl with freckles who giggled and pored him a refill of the pretend beverage.

"It's tea daddy." Carwyn reminded him bossily, as she placed a small pink plastic saucer in front of a dark-skinned girl.

The girls continued to eat the pretend snack, giggling as they watched Carwyn's daddy play along. The pretend play continued for a minute more before a contemplative expression crossed over Carwyn. She looked over at her daddy, searching his face a moment, before speaking.

"Are you happy daddy?" She tilted her head to the side and looked much older than four.

"Sure Princess, of course I'm happy." Derek looked up from the plastic dishes surprised, and flashed a smile at the four young girls, as if trying to convince them.

"Your eyes aren't happy daddy. They don't dance anymore." Carwyn kept her gaze trained on her daddy's face.

Derek hesitated for a moment, and Meredith could tell he was at a loss for words. "I'm sorry Carwyn. I've just been tired lately. Of course I'm happy. I have you."

Carwyn just stared back, not the least bit convinced. "You and mommy don't laugh and play together anymore? And she's always sad. Her eyes stopped dancing too."

Meredith held her breath and her insides twisted in guilt. She had been so focused on being angry with Derek that she didn't even notice that Carwyn could see what was going on.

"You're right Carwyn. I guess I am a little sad. I love your mommy so very much but she's mad at me right now, and well… things are a little complicated…"

"Why don't you just tell her you're sorry?" The freckled blond spoke up helpfully.

"I tried sweetie. It's just…" Derek sighed; he couldn't believe he was getting relationship advice from a bunch of preschoolers.

"Well, what did you do Doctor Derek? Did you call her a bad word? My mom gets mad when my big brother says stupid. That's a really bad word." The dark-skinned girl took a turn trying to help.

"No, I didn't call her a bad word." Derek reassured the girl who stared back with large black eyes.

"Did you kiss someone else's mommy? My mommy saw my old daddy kissing Mrs. Katunia in the church parking lot so she threw his sorry butt to the curb. Now, I have a new daddy."

Derek rocked back surprised at the quiet red head's mature words. He decided he wasn't sure if he wanted Carwyn to be friends with such a sass.

"No, no. I definitely didn't kiss anyone's mom. It wasn't anything like that. I promise." Derek guaranteed the young girls, rubbing his hands over his face.

Meredith watched on, her heart slowly melting as she finally took in just how sad Derek looked. His eyes were lifeless and new lines had formed around his mouth. He looked like he hadn't slept any more than she had. Maybe she was ready to listen to him. Maybe it was time to forgive him.

Before Meredith could make a definite decision, her pager quietly vibrated in her pocket, and she knew it was time to go. She decided against making her presence known, and quickly slipped out of the center. She would try to find Derek later, and hope it wasn't too late, that they would be able to talk and clear the air.

Hours later, after getting back to work and completing more chiefly duties, Derek found he had some spare time. He decided it would be a good idea to check in on the progress of the hemespherectomy. He opted for the observation room upstairs and took a spot on the wall unnoticed.

His eyes searched the OR below until they rested on the familiar form. Though her face was half covered with the surgical mask, he was startled to see how tired and weak she looked. He didn't think it was just because of their argument, something else was on her mind and she looked like a fraction of a woman, hovering over the shoulder of a surgeon, nodding something in response to the lead attending.

Derek kept his eyes on her, a feeling of despair and hopelessness settling over him. He wanted to help her. To hold her and have her tell him what was going on. At the present time, she wasn't speaking to him and didn't seem to want to let him in.

A figure joined Derek and looked on with him down into the OR before speaking.

"She looks like she's going to fall over."

Derek nodded, agreeing with Alex's comment, not taking his eyes off her.

"Dr. Zeta's harsh. At first, I thought she was doing it because she liked Meredith, wanted to teach her. But I'm not so sure anymore…"

This caused Derek to snap his head to look at Alex. "What do you mean?"

Alex shrugged, keeping his voice low so the room of observers couldn't hear their conversation. "Well, you know, the way she makes her come in so early for things that aren't even an intern's responsibility. She makes her stay hours after her shift, doing notes and organizing charts. She constantly has her doing scut and Meredith hasn't scrubbed in a single surgery all week. She was sure she would get to assist today, but look, she has Meredith standing in the back with the nurses." Alex shook his head, he could go on, but learned long ago sometimes it was better to hold his tongue.

Derek's jaw clenched as he fought to control his temper. How could all of this happen? Meredith was probably exhausted and drained, and she hadn't even come to him. He was a little confused as well. When he'd hired Dr. Zeta, he thought she was a competent, professional doctor. This seemed so out of characteristic.

Derek let out a frustrated moan as his pager went off. He sighed and nodded to Alex before hurrying off to perform some more chiefly duties that were expected of him. He knew it was now imperative that he find Meredith and make her listen, make her open up to him. He'd find a way to convince her to forgive him. For both of their sakes.

Meredith entered the scrub room cautiously. She stayed behind after the operation was successfully completed. She knew it wasn't her job, but dutifully obeyed, wanting to avoid any and all confrontations with the Neurosurgeon. She was beginning to understand exactly what Dr. Zeta's problem was with her. Halfway through the surgery, the arrogant attending had started quizzing her, in front of all the other doctors and scrub nurses. Meredith was able to answer each question precisely and accurately, only infuriating the woman more. Finally, Dr. Zeta mumbled something about being surprised she had any time to study with all the late nights spent getting wasted at Joe's.

Understanding registered immediately. The rumor had apparently not slipped by Dr. Zeta, as the whole hospital was a buzz with the fact that the chief of surgery had to carry the drunken intern out and take her home. Meredith honestly didn't mind the rumor. It seemed so much less complicated to the truth: that she shared a daughter with said chief of surgery and they were involved in a secret relationship that went back years.

Meredith was immediately discouraged when she found Dr. Zeta alone, still scrubbing out. She glanced hopefully to the open door, hoping someone, anyone, would walk by in the hallway and give her a chance to escape the awkward conversation that was inevitably coming. Of course, it was late, very late, and most doctors and nurses went gone home for the evening. Leaving those on call, busily doing their work in dark corners of the hospital, nowhere in sight.

Meredith could feel the cold eyes on her as she silently unwrapped the soap and began the meticulous process of scrubbing out. She focused intently on the warm water and racing bubbles, hoping Dr. Zeta would just finish and leave. She was on call since three this morning and hadn't a chance to stop and rest all day. Her eyes stung and her feet felt like lead. All she wanted to do was go home and crawl into her warm bed. Not stand next to an angry woman who was now scowling, looking her up and down.

Meredith did her best to remain calm, focusing on her task at hand.

Finally, irritated that the intern was coolly ignoring her, Dr. Zeta spoke. "You think you're pretty smooth, don't you?"

"Excuse me?" Meredith finally met her critical eyes.

"Oh, don't play innocent with me." She spat. "It's all around the hospital. The way you tried to seduce Dr. Shepherd." Dr. Zeta let out a mocking laugh. "It's humorous really. A sloppy little intern like yourself thinking she even had a chance. Dr. Shepherd is a man. Not a little boy I'm sure you're used to getting your way with. You seem like a girl who gets around at least." The hurtful doctor shook her head as she dried her perfectly manicured hands with a paper towel.

Meredith stood still, seething inside. She found herself speechless. What could she say? She didn't think Derek would appreciate her outing their relationship, but the way this woman was looking down on her, Meredith thought she might snap.

Dr. Zeta continued before Meredith could find her words. "No… men like Derek… they need a real woman. A woman who knows how to take care of a man. A woman who knows how to satisfy their needs. A woman like me. I suggest you back off sweetie, before you get burned." Dr. Zeta tossed the wadded-up towel in the trash can and flaunted a prissy smile before turning out the opened door.

Meredith was fuming and sure her face was red, as she hurried and dried her hands off. She had enough. She quickly followed the doctor out into the hall, ready to give her a piece of her mind. She nearly collided into the dark haired woman, when she came to an abrupt halt right outside the door.

"Why Dr. Shepherd, what a pleasant surprise. What on earth are you doing here so late? You are the most dedicated chief of surgery I have ever met." Dr. Zeta tossed her hair and smiled flirtatiously at the handsome doctor who stood just outside the scrub room, leaning on the wall, his expression unreadable.

Meredith didn't say anything; she stared down at the floor, drawing tiny circles with the toe of her worn converse. She suddenly felt very inept, knowing how frazzled and tired and utterly unattractive she must look next to the tall dark exotic beauty, who also happened to be a prominent neurosurgeon.

When Derek didn't say anything, Dr. Zeta turned to Meredith. "Well, what are you doing just standing around Dr. Grey? I need the pre op notes completed and my patients checked on. I don't have all night."

Meredith turned defeated, ready to obediently carry out her new tasks, when a strong hand caught her arm. She turned back surprised and looked up into Derek's concerned face.

"I'm sorry Dr. Zeta, but you'll have to find someone else to finish those notes. Dr. Grey's shift ended two hours ago." Derek kept his hand on her arm as he turned back and gave Dr. Zeta a challenging look.

"Oh, well you know how it was being an intern. Craving the work, loving any overtime. The hospital owns you. Besides, this particular intern, could use the extra experience." Dr. Zeta replied casually, not ready to back down.

Meredith stared at her in disbelief. She then turned slowly to Derek and caught a glimpse of amusement in his eyes as he fought to keep his face expressionless.

"Well, as true as that might be. Dr. Grey has been here since three o'clock this morning and is close to falling asleep on her feet. Do you know why I have a problem with you taking advantage of this… particular intern… Dr. Zeta?" Derek raised his eyebrows and waited expectantly.

"Um… no… I don't really…." Dr. Zeta furrowed her perfectly shaped eyebrows, clueless to where this conversation was headed.

"I have not made love to my girlfriend in over a week. That is eight days, ten hours, forty-three minutes, and…" Derek glanced at his watch, "Fifty-three seconds, that me and this… particular intern, have not had sex. And I for one, would like to remedy that tonight. So, if you'll excuse me, I'm taking my girlfriend, and we're going home."

Derek nodded politely to the speechless neurosurgeon who stood stunned, her mouth slightly ajar. Meredith fought with every ounce of her depleted strength to not turn around and add I satisfy him in ways you've only dreamed of, as Derek quickly pulled her down the hall, wrapping his arm protectively around her tired shoulders, eager to get her home to bed.