I opened my eyes, only to be greeted by an intense white light. Was this Heaven? Had I really died in the most unnormal way possible and gone to the pearly gates? Wait, no, it was just the light bulb above me.

I moved my hand up to shield my eyes and looked around the room I was in. To my right, there was a boy with many bruises and bandages on his body, holding a pack of frozen peas over what I could only assume was a black eye. To my right, was someone who I recognized almost immediately. A very sick and haggard-looking Reisen Udongein Inaba sat on the bed to my right, clutching a metal bucket to her stomach and shivering. She just so happened to be number one on my "Don't Make Eye Contact" list, mostly due to her ability.

Wait, does this mean…? Oh no.

I sat up rapidly, I knew exactly where I was now. Is there still hope of making it to the exit? was the only thing I could think in the moment.

"Ah, you shouldn't move around too much," I heard the very distinct voice of Eirin Yagokoro, the school's nurse, say.

Mrs. Yagokoro was quite possibly one of the most mysterious staff at the school, second only to Mrs. Yakumo. What was known was that she was a Lunarian, a strange group of people who were neither human nor youkai. Apparently, they had come from space, most likely the moon, though that sounded kind of ridiculous to me. Anyway, the second thing people know about Mrs. Yagokoro's past was that she used to be employed at the Tsukuyomi Academy of Gensokyo, but she was fired for unknown reasons.

What people knew about her now, however, was much clearer.

Mrs. Yagokoro was extremely dedicated to her job as the school's nurse, almost to the point of obsession. She would often spend hours on end after school studying up on research so advanced that it would put even the most experienced human scientist in the world to shame. All with the purpose of making sure that the students of GHS got the best treatment possible.

Now I know what you're thinking: "Wow! It's good that you have such a dedicated nurse at your school! What could be bad about that?"

Well, for starters, Mrs. Yagokoro didn't exactly have a… great understanding of human or youkai biology. Suffice to say, whatever science she was studying, it was probably not the human kind. Oftentimes, the treatments that Mrs. Yagokoro attempted to administer to students would involve hazardous and dangerous substances. Other times, she would suggest extreme solutions to relatively simple injuries, like hacking off an entire leg because of a simple scrape, the reasoning being that "it would grow back". As if she thought humans were reptiles or something.

Thankfully, most of the time Mrs. Yakumo or Reisen, who often volunteered at the nurse's office, would stop her before she took things too far. I had to imagine it was very hard to discourage her though, as I still often heard horror stories about her from students around the school. I was actually shocked that the male student next to me had gotten such normal treatment for his injuries. If I had to guess, he probably had to fight tooth and nail with Mrs. Yagokoro in order to stop her from completely disintegrating him as treatment.

These are the reasons why I wanted to avoid coming here as much as possible, even if I was sick. There had even been times where I would suffer through the entire day feeling as though I was going to vomit my entire stomach out (usually because of bad tuna), all because I absolutely did not want to visit Mrs. Yagokoro's office.

So, naturally, now that I was here, I wanted nothing more than to scream and run away as fast as I could as soon as Mrs. Yagokoro rounded the corner.

The male student in the room let out a groan and got Mrs. Yagokoro's attention. "Ah, Maurice, I had nearly forgotten, your parents are on their way to pick you up. Are you sure you don't want me to rub sulfuric acid on your wounds? I hear it's great for burning off bruises!" she said as if it was the most reasonable thing in the world.

I heard Reisen retch into the bucket beside us.

The student, who I now knew was named Maurice, somehow managed to shoot up out of bed faster than I had. "N-no, I'm perfectly fine! Thank you for the help, Mrs. Yagokoro! I'm gonna go wait outside for my parents if that's alright!" he said quickly, before gathering his things and rushing out the door in mere seconds, in spite of his injuries.

Mrs. Yagokoro pouted. "Poor Maurice, Youmu gave him such a harsh beating…" She turned to me and smiled. "However, it seems he was not as unlucky as you were, Mr. Coates."

Why is she smiling at that?!

"W-what do you mean, Mrs. Yagokoro?" I asked, apprehensively.

"Hm… how do I put this in terms you'll understand…" Mrs. Yagokoro put a hand to her chin. "Okay, I'll just say it in the most layman-like way possible. You have a magic bomb in your chest."

Reisen retched into the bucket again.

"I have a what?!" I cried out.

I heard the telltale sound of one of Mrs. Yakumo's gaps opening before she stepped out from around the same corner as Mrs. Yagokoro had. "Honestly, Eirin… could you try to be a little less obtuse?" she asked, exasperatedly.

"Hm… right. Less obtuse…" Mrs. Yagokoro mumbled as she took out a small notepad from her pocket and wrote something inside of it.

Mrs. Yakumo let out a defeated sigh then looked towards me with a somewhat pained smile. "How are you feeling? I tried to make sure Eirin wasn't too extreme in her analysis."

"Uh… I feel fine, I think? What's this about a magic bomb in my chest?" I asked, almost not wanting to know the answer.

"Well… why don't you see for yourself? Look down your shirt," Mrs. Yakumo replied.

I didn't quite understand what Mrs. Yakumo was talking about, but I decided to comply. I pulled on the collar of my shirt and looked down, and nearly yelled at what I saw. My chest was glowing, and it wasn't just any normal glow either. I knew this specific type of glow from somewhere… the way it pulsated… its purple color... but it couldn't have been…

"Yes, it appears as though Mr. Wakabayashi's magical artifact somehow embedded itself in your chest, specifically within your heart," Mrs. Yagokoro said. "However, it seems as though your heart is still functioning normally, and there is no entry point from where the artifact would have made its way into your heart that I can see, your shirt isn't even torn. It's as if it just teleported into you!"

"Teleported…" I suddenly remembered what Patchouli had said about Mr. Waka's abilities.

"As you most likely guessed, it allows him to teleport himself and his surrounding objects, if he so pleases."

Had Mr. Waka somehow teleported the artifact into my heart? No… Patchouli said he could only teleport things between rooms, right? There's no way my heart would count as a room, at least I don't think it would.

"I would love for an opportunity to study you more, Mr. Coates. This is the first time I've ever seen anything like this!" Mrs. Yagokoro continued to drone on excitedly, but I wasn't paying any attention to what she was saying.

Suddenly, a thought entered my mind. "Wait! If you know that the artifact is Mr. Waka's, does that mean…"

"Yes, everything that you and Patchouli discovered about Wakabayashi has been made known to us," Mrs. Yakumo said, reassuredly. "We now know for a fact that he smuggled the artifact into the school, and planned to give it to an unknown party. However, I regret to inform you that we won't be pressing charges on Wakabayashi," Mrs. Yakumo said with an unusually serious tone.

"What?! Why not?!" I demanded to know.

"Because Wakabayashi is dead," Mrs. Yakumo said gravely.

The world around me froze, I couldn't believe what I had just heard.

"Allegedly!" Mrs. Yagokoro corrected.

I frowned. "Huh?! Allegedly?!" I turned to Mrs. Yagokoro. "Did the pervert bite the bullet or not?!"

"Well, allegedly…" Mrs. Yagokoro repeated, being as unhelpful as ever.

Mrs. Yakumo sighed frustratedly. "We still haven't found his body, but we believe that he disintegrated in the explosion."

"Allegedly!"

"Yes, thank you, Eirin!" I had never seen Mrs. Yakumo look so annoyed.

Another thought popped into my head. "What about Patchouli?! Is she-?!"

"She's fine," Mrs. Yakumo assured me.

I breathed in relief. "Oh, thank God."

Mrs. Yakumo giggled. "You seem quite happy, are you and Ms. Patchouli friends?"

"No."

Mrs. Yakumo looked taken aback. "Oh? Then why are you-?"

"I still need to pay her back for completely and utterly destroying my normal life," I answered.

Mrs. Yakumo huffed. "Ah. I see. Regardless, Patchouli's right outside and I'm going to have her walk you home." She crossed her arms and looked at me sternly. "I'm afraid Mrs. Yagokoro was not exaggerating when she said that the artifact in your chest is explosive."

"O-oh." I was not relieved anymore. "Hey, uh… not that I doubt Mrs. Yagokoro's extensive medical knowledge, (I do.) but shouldn't I go to the hospital or something?"

"Out of the question," Mrs. Yagokoro said, firmly. "When Mr. Wakabayashi threw the artifact to the ground, he caused it to become highly reactive. As it is now, any sort of unprecedented impact or movement could cause the object to explode. The odds are not in your favor if you decide to have surgery, especially with a human doctor at the helm. Thankfully, the object seems to have stabilized somewhat, at least for the moment, but we shouldn't take any unnecessary risks."

"Uh huh…" I placed a hand on my chest. "Hey, just out of curiosity, how big would the explosion be? If it happens."

"Hm… by my estimations, the artifact detonating as it is now would surely kill you, regardless of the size of the explosion. However, it has the potential to be big enough to injure many other people as well, depending on a multitude of factors. Thus, it is imperative that you are surrounded by other magical beings at all times when you are at school. Ones that can be ready to form a protective ward around you, if necessary," Mrs. Yagokoro explained. "Or… there is another way."

"Oh, joy." If it was Mrs. Yagokoro saying that, it probably wasn't going to be good.

"Okay, hear me out. What if we could somehow find a way to melt you down to your base components? Then, we could take the artifact out easily! We could use something like…" Mrs. Yagokoro gasped as a thought came to her. "Sulfuric acid! Of course!"

"No," everyone in the room, including Reisen, replied.

Mrs. Yagokoro pouted. "Fine."

"In any case, we'll have to shift your school schedule a bit. There's no way the human teachers you have now would be prepared to handle an imminent magical explosion," Mrs. Yakumo said. "If it were to happen," she added quickly.

"Ah, okay," I said simply.

Mrs. Yakumo raised an eyebrow. "Are you alright? You're taking all of this in unusually well."

"Well, actually. I think the complete and utter collapse of my entire normal life in addition to the fact that I could die at literally any moment has made me go into shock," I explained calmly.

"Shock? I know just the remedy!" Mrs. Yagokoro exclaimed.

"N-!" Reisen attempted to speak, before vomiting into the bucket yet again.

"I'm fine, Mrs. Yagokoro. I think I'm just going to walk home and process the fact that my life is over forever, thank you." I got up and began walking out of Mrs. Yagokoro's office.

"Oh dear, maybe I should have him start seeing the school therapist as well…" I heard Mrs. Yakumo say as the door shut behind me.

"Ah, there you are!" Patchouli exclaimed as soon as I was out the door. "So… um, I assume they told you?"

"About the nuke in my chest? Yeah, they did."

"O-Oh, I see…" Patchouli nervously adjusted her glasses and then took a deep breath. "Listen, I want to apologize, I didn't think Wakabayashi would be so… desperate. Regardless, I put you in danger, and it's my responsibility. So, I won't stop, not until I find a way to safely extract the artifact from your chest! Not just me, the rest of the Chess Club will help too, I'm sure of it! You can count on us, and I won't take no for an answer!" Patchouli spoke with more passion than I had ever seen.

"No," I turned around and began to walk home.

"I just said I wouldn't take that for an answer!" Patchouli yelled, clearly annoyed. "Besides, why don't you want our help? We have many experienced magical users in our club who could assist in finding a way to remove the artifact!" She suddenly stopped, seeming to realize something.

"Oh… is it because we aren't 'normal' enough for you?" Patchouli asked, mockingly.

"That's exactly the reason!" I yelled angrily, unable to contain my frustration anymore. "I have one last bit of normalcy left at this school! One! That being the fact that no one else except a few people, including you, know what happened! And if I get caught hanging out with any of you Chess Club students, then that one piece of normalcy is gone! Forever! Do you get that?!" I took a second to catch my breath after my rant, then looked up to see Patchouli with a shocked and hurt expression on her face.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I didn't mean to blow up on you like that, I appreciate the offer to help… but do me a favor, please?"

"W-what's that?" Patchouli asked, apprehensively.

"Just… stay away from me when we're at school, okay? Also, don't stare at me like you did today in class again. Promise me you'll do that, and we won't have a problem."

"Okay…" Patchouli accepted, in a somewhat sad tone.

We walked to my house, not speaking for the rest of the way. Patchouli kept her eye on me, no doubt ready for me to explode at any moment, but she didn't stare, just like she promised. Eventually, we reached my house and I waved goodbye without looking at her as I walked towards the front door.

"Bye, Adam…" I heard her say.

Thankfully, the inside of my home was much more regular than my school life, especially now that Mom wasn't here. "Hey! I'm home!" I called out to my dad.

Dad sat up from the couch, where he was watching reruns of Friends, and looked at me.

"Hey, champ! How was school?"

"Fine, I guess."

"Cool."

"I'm going to my room now."

"Okay."

Yeah, talks with Dad were nice.

I entered my room, threw off my clothes and finally prepared to put an end to this horrifically terrible day. I looked down at my glowing chest and sighed, at least it couldn't be seen through my shirt.

Things would no doubt be different now, that was for sure, but maybe it would all turn out okay in the end?

Ah, who am I kidding? I'm gonna die in a ball of magical fire.

I laid down on my bed and prepared to go to sleep when suddenly I remembered something. I climbed back out of bed, grabbed my phone and set my morning alarm to "On".

Stupid alarm.