Chapter 2 - Risk Taking Behaviors, No Good!
The ongoing carnage continued, but it seemed that nobody outside paid attention to the Bad Guys' hideout. Webs' idea of spray painting the walls outside seemed to work. For that, the crew decided to pass the time until sun rise.
Wolf prompted everyone to come together on the couch since he managed to bring a few movies (and pirated movie copies) they could watch. Soon enough, the Bad Guys, Mira and Tiffany were all watching a scary movie about a fire-breathing dinosaur.
At one part where the dinosaur swung its tail to hit the main character, Piranha screamed in fright and jumped into Hornet's arms. Expectedly, the weight of the fish in the sudden moment caused Hornet and Piranha to fall to the floor together.
After the movie ended, they all were hungry and decided to make some early breakfast (literally at 3 AM). Shark brought out tortilla wraps, chopped veggies, diced cheese and sauces so they could all make vegetable wraps. However, while making their wraps, Snake snuck some hot sauce into Tarantula's food, so that when she took a bite once her wrap was made, she got a huge dose of hotness.
Soon enough, it was so spicy that the second she bit into it, her entire body turned red. Screaming the whole way, she ran around trying to find water, while Snake had a good laugh. Eventually, Webs did manage to cool her tongue down when she found Tiffany's idle bottle of water; specifically an old bottle of Marmalade's bath water.
They then decided to play a board game called 'Sorry'. At one part, Tiffany was going next on her turn, moving her green piece over 5 spaces. On the fifth space, there was a yellow piece there already. Tiffany used her piece to tip it over, thus tipping Mira's piece over.
"Sorry," said Tiffany cheerfully.
Mira groaned and shook her head.
"How long have Mira been rivals with Tiffany again?" whispered Piranha to Shark.
Shark shrugged, unsure about it.
A while after playing, Shark pulled out his disguise case and everyone decided to do a little dress up for fun. Wolf dressed up as a bartender, Tarantula dressed up as a skate boarder, Shark was wearing his female disguise from the first Golden Dolphin heist, Piranha was wearing a full wrestling suit (complete with a luchador's mask), Snake was dressed like a ninja and Hornet was dressed up as a pilot, placing goggles over his eyes. Mira was dressed up as a fancy old time detective and Tiffany had the most random costume of all: a ballerinas unitard and tutu.
While remaining in their costumes, they all then started up a fun game of charades, going back and forth mimicking a lot of different things that each person tried to guess. Shark had the most points out of everyone…and the hardest mimics with his best act in character. The same couldn't be said for Snake who at least used his tail to mimic movements. He let Wolf know it by throwing a pillow at him when he said that he didn't have any limbs to help.
As time flew by, they were having fun that they didn't recognize that the Purge was still going on. They remembered about it during the early morning. But the sun hadn't rise yet as they were in the middle of winter. It would only appear later in the morning. Webs was back on her desk, but her eyes were kept on the window with the curtains slightly opened.
"Drats," said Webs, rubbing her face. "The more I stare at how dark it still is outside, the more I want to slumber."
"Stay awake, girl," said Shark, patting her. "We'll get there soon."
Piranha was lying on the couch, making random sounds with his mouth out of boredom. Hornet rested his stomach, randomly patting on his tummy. They got so bored and tired when there was nothing to do other than making out in narrow spaces in the hideout. Though, Snake was nearly close to scolding them for the noise they were making currently as he tried to rest.
Tiffany was rehearsing once again. This time, she tried standing on the dinner table. Too bad it couldn't really hold her weight as she struggled to make sure she didn't fall down. This time, nobody bothered to pull her off since she kept chatting through her microphone all night.
Meanwhile, Wolf and Mira were in a deep conversation about…well…
"When you get into a street fight," asked Wolf as he stroke the sleeping Snake. "Any kind of fight like say you're in a fight arena…would you rather bite your opponent in the throat or throw a knife in the throat?"
Mira didn't know how to respond to that question. She had some gun training, but not that much in combat.
"U-Um…" She found herself giggling since she didn't really think of herself going wild. "Um…I…wait, no, that would be too much. Maybe I might go for biting in the neck. You know humans do that as well for…other things."
"Oh, I know so," said Wolf in his smooth, charming voice. "I'm excited to see how this will go. You know, I already prepared a set of fake canines for everyone to wear."
"I don't want to look like a Twilight vampire!" said Mira, placing a hand over her grin.
"Oh, but your wild side do."
Mira shrugged. "I don't actually know. Do you have one?"
"From time to time. Though, I grew up most of my life near civilization, where biting on rabbits is illegal. So, I was taught of having manners."
"You do have manners," said Mira. "For being a con. You're still a bad guy, but you're such a gentleman, sometimes."
"Oh yeah, I was always a charmer. Though, what I learnt is that feral wolves sometimes attack their prey by biting them."
"On the throat?" asked Mira.
"Especially the throat. Bite it hard enough and the blood should spill. Effective way of immediately killing a little rabbit."
In the background, Tiffany AND the table collapsed.
"You know," said Mira. "There are more than two ways to kill a person using their necks. You can snap them by spinning it around. Though you can suffocate someone when you squeeze their throat unti they run out of air, but snapping necks are more brutal."
"It's becoming much more of a boring kill," said Wolf. "Not my type since it's equally brutal."
"Oh, one time," explained Mira. "A female criminal tried to make this move to convince me and Hornet to hire her. She had stolen a D-list prisoner and tried to snap his neck using her thighs."
Wolf nodded. "Oooh. Where did I hear this before?"
"Well, it was a move the Crimson Paw threatened to use in the past. Now, it's coming back in with the new criminals. The female criminal tried it and ended up spinning the prisoner's head backwards!"
Wolf's eyes widened. "Oh really?"
"Yeah!" said Mira, breaking out in a large grin. "You should have seen it. Barely a flesh was torn or at least not externally seen. I had to go to the toilet to vomit. Twice! Poor Hornet went unconscious for 17 hours. Though, the prisoner was in a stable condition after being taken to the hospital."
"What?" said Wolf, confused. "But the bones breaking and the blood veins snapped into two should have killed him! He must have been doing black magic."
"Guess that he is not the only one," supposed Mira. "That guy was just lucky."
The laboratory doors swung open and Zee came out, dancing.
Snake groaned, waking up from his sleep. "You better not start singing, Dr Conner."
"No, no, no," said Hornet. "Let him sing. It gets better."
"I'm not in song form today~!" sang Zee in a singalong tone. "But, I made a great discovery!"
"A giant yarn ball flying into our planet?" guessed Shark dryly, remembering what is going to happen soon.
Zee laughed. "Clever, but no. The Anthropowal Meteorite is almost here!"
"The what?" said Snake.
Hornet leaned forwards. "It's…actually coming here? In Los Angeles?"
Webs' eyes widened, alarmed. "Oh no, no, no. Don't tell me it's not a myth."
"I don't think so," said Piranha, biting his lip. "I heard before about it and it once crashed into my house when I was 10 years old."
"Oooh!" said Tiffany, interested. "The Anthropowal Meteorite is a small meteorite! Many of those meteorites crashed into Earth on the same day every year! Researchers found that the cells can transform a person into another form upon contact. Some say that it has the power to turn a human into an animal! It might even become a cure for werewo-!"
"It's really important," cut off Snake, placing a hand over Tiffany's mouth. "Deadly, but small. Can only cause a minor explosion. Bla bla bla. We don't have time for this now if it's coming to us!"
"Thank you," said Mira, getting sick of Tiffany's reporting.
"No, no, no, space child," said Zee. "She's right. And we are going to get our hands on it. The first people to grab the meteorite without losing it!"
"You mean without dying," pointed out Wolf worriedly.
"Exactly!"
"And without not breaking our streak of coming across space stuff," said Shark.
"Exactly!"
Webs sighed. "If you say so. I'll activate the net now."
"We have a net?" said Snake.
Webs didn't need to answer. She already typed on her keyboard and everyone could hear something whirring from above. At the top of the building, a large butterfly net sprouted out from the roof, lifted up to catch the flaming meteorite visible in the dark sky.
Through the live footage on the screens, everyone watched the net getting ready to catch some meteorites. They all came in closer to the desk as Webs typed away.
Mira was surprised to see the net. "Huh, you Bad Guys never ceased to amaze me."
"Since when did we have a net?" asked Shark.
"Ever since I convinced Diane to fund us the money needed," giggled Webs.
"Through blackmail?" said Hornet, somewhat impressed. "Damn. You would have needed a truckload of money to make a net like this."
"No, no. I actually bribed her with a reservation at McDonalds."
"Oh yeah-" said Hornet before having a double take. "Wait, what?"
"Just kidding."
"What else did you put in without telling us?" asked Wolf.
"A lot of cool stuff," said Webs simply. "Just read the manual."
"What manual?"
"Oooh!" said Piranha. "Does this thing have a cool, big, red button?"
"No, that's for dessert," said Webs, swatting Piranha's hand away. "Eat your veggies first."
"Will you really be able to catch that meteorite?" asked Mira. "It looks like it is coming in real fast."
Zee waved his hand. "Nah. It took a couple of hours for it to get close to the surface. Like nearly the entire Purge. It must be going slow, so it shouldn't be too hard to grab it!"
KABOOM!
A large earthquake rattled the entire place. It gave everyone a really huge fright. They all turned to one of the screens where it showed the large butterfly net. Or at least what remained of it. The net was torn apart and reduced to a burning heap of metal. On the monitor next to that one was one camera pointing at the empty moat. A burning crater in the empty moat. Just in front of the hideout.
"You think so?" muttered Tiffany.
Zee glanced at her and back at the footage. He took out his notepad, writing down, "The hypothesis is rejected upon finding that the meteorite is strong enough to break through a net made out of wires."
"I just bought that net," whined Webs. "I was about to install a special device on it to measure the wind's speed."
"How can you measure one using a net?" asked Snake.
Wolf decided to look through the window. The crater wasn't too far away from them. An orange glow he could see underneath the flames around it.
"So…what now?" he asked.
"So much for planning to catch it," Piranha deadpanned.
"Whelp," said Shark. "I guess we are not getting it after all!"
"Hold on there, buddy," remarked Zee, grabbing Shark by the collar before he tried to leave. "Leaving it out there would put it at risk for falling into the wrong hands. Not to mention government authorities could take it once the Purge is over."
"And why is it important for us to get that space rock?" asked Snake.
"Because it's the magical Anthropowal Meteorite! I'm not explaining it again. It's very important for making your weapons non-lethal."
"Imagine all the money we could make with this beauty," said Mira, her eyes sparkling.
"And telling the world about it!" piped in Tiffany.
"...no way you're going to report it."
"But most importantly, getting to play with it…" Tiffany trailed off, looking dreamy.
In her mind, she desired touching that thing. While she had her limits, sometimes, she likes touching a lot of things. Just imagine how it would feel to touch that smooth, bumpy meteorite…
Shark got a little freaked out for the two women for wanting to get that meteorite. "Since when you two had that wild ambition?"
"Uh…" said Mira, taking a step from her ambition.
"Doctor Zee," said Wolf sternly. "I'm not sending anyone out there just for a space rock."
"Go ahead then," said Zee, crossing his arms. "Claim that award or…let one of those criminals come collect it and use it against all of us before 7 AM hits."
That got Wolf thinking. It wasn't worth the risk of getting the meteorite. The Bad Guys agreed that they were done with meteorites since meteorites were bad news. They couldn't really hold that much power since it could go out of control.
However, leaving it stranded would mean some hobo could come over to rob it from them. Imagine feeling left out on not getting to own it while it was just an arm's reach to it. Plus, other criminals would use it for their own benefit and could make things miserable for everyone else. Maybe Zee was right…
Snake noticed something as Wolf smirked. "Hey, buddy. You got that twinkle in that eye again. What is it?"
"Alright then," said Wolf. "I'm game. But just to note, we're gonna have to do this VERY quickly."
"Good, so due to things going on, we shouldn't have too many people going out to collect it," said Zee. "I just need someone who knows how to drive and carry that thing back in. Now, who likes to volunteer?"
Nobody responded to this. A loud gun fire in the background was enough to disencourage them.
"I'll go," said Piranha, raising his hand up.
"What?!" said Hornet, shocked. "Piranha! Please think about this. You might get yourself hurt out there."
"Are you crazy?!" said Shark, equally surprised.
"This is risky, big guy, and besides, Hornet will lose his soon-to-be-husband," cooed Tarantula teasingly, much to Hornet's annoyance.
"I'll just wear my special outfit and I'll be bulletproof," reassured Piranha, placing a gentle hand on Hornet. "Besides, I can take care of myself. Trust me on this one."
Hornet appeared reluctant to since it was just a stupid rock outside. However, seeing the determination in Piranha's eyes made him remember that this brawler could scrap with anyone he come across.
"Are you sure?" asked Snake. "That meteorite looks heavy."
"It's small, so it's probably the size of a wooden chair," said Zee.
"He's gonna blow it," said Webs.
"Hey!" barked Piranha. "I'm not going to mess it up! I'll get it back! Perfecto!"
The tarantula raised a quizzical eyebrow. "You're sure?"
"Don't be like that," said Hornet. "I don't think he will."
"Just be careful out there, buddy," said Shark.
"Fine then," said Wolf, tossing Piranha his car keys and an ear piece communicator. "We'll be keeping an eye on you. Use my car and get to that meteorite quickly. Once you got, get back in. We'll be closing and opening the metal gates quickly, so you'll have to go fast."
Piranha nodded, looking determined. "Copy that, Wolf."
One could only imagine Wolf's utter dismay as Piranha drove his car right out of the pipe tunnels. Wolf always drove recklessly on the roads, but he was always careful not to let a single scratch appear on his beautiful car. Every time, it came out shiny. Sure, it would get dusty at a few times, but when Webs gave the thumbs-up to Piranha to drive out from the pipes, Wolf wished that he instead went out.
Piranha already got the paint on the doors scratched upon bumping too much in the pipes. Could have driven up the walls since it was a circular tunnel, but Piranha got too excited. Driving out into the night, he was swerving the car around and not in a straight path. If that wasn't enough, alongside his loud whooping, hot Latino music was booming from the radio.
Wolf could only mournfully look out of the window as he prayed Piranha didn't make his car the next to explode. Again.
"Don't worry, buddy," said Snake, patting Wolf on the shoulder. "We still got insurance, so your car will be saved."
The others were still at the desk while Webs and Hornet took charge of the security system.
"The metal gates are closed again," informed Webs through the communicator. "We're only giving you a couple of minutes to be out here."
"We spot two groups nearby," said Hornet as he searched through the live footage of outside. "Be careful. They might be dangerous people."
"Copy that!" said Piranha through the radio,
He finally stopped near the small crater. Well, not gracefully since he ended up rolling the car right into the crater and crashing it into the glowing meteorite. Hopping out, he cooed as he admired the glowing meteorite, surprised how nearly shaped the glowing orange parts were arranged at. It really did look like a soccer ball.
"OK," he said, coming close to it. "Doesn't look like a butt." He took a long sniff. "Well, it DOES smell like a butt."
"Be careful with that thing," warned Zee. "Worst case scenario is that it can explode."
Piranha nodded, slowly pressing his hand against it. The meteorite felt really warm. Though, it didn't feel like it was burning or similar to a campfire. It just felt…nicely warm like it was water somewhere near to room temperature. A smile crossed his face, his hair fins wiggling at the nice sensation.
Without that much fuss, he pulled the meteorite upwards from the bottom and threw it right onto the car's back. A loud crack followed it. Must be something they placed in the trunk before.
Piranha could hear a whimper that sounded like a whimpering dog or Wolf agonizing how much he had to pay for his car insurance.
"P-P-P-Pepe?" stuttered Hornet's voice. His voice sounded so…nervous. "Someone's coming."
"Huh?" said Piranha.
"Be steady and still," said Snake.
As he drove the car out of the crater, he was greeted by two burly-looking men. Drooling and grinning menacingly. Both of them were wielding baseball bats that had nails screwed onto them. Or at least harmless nails since the sharp tips weren't sticking out.
Piranha just narrowed his eyes, unamused.
"Oh ho ho ho!" said one of the thugs as they came close. "What's a little boy doing out here?"
"Isn't that Mr. Piranha?" said the other thug. "The little runt of the Bad Guys?"
"Why yes," said Piranha, crossing his arms. "And what is your business?"
"Piranha!" called Wolf's voice. "This isn't what we agreed on!"
"Piranha!" hissed Snake's voice, laced in worry. "Get out of there right now!"
"I can't take it! I gotta get out of there!" screamed Hornet's voice.
"No, you can't!" wailed Tarantula's voice.
"I guess that we're making some fish and chips for breakfast today," snarled the first thug. "Except it's a piranha special!"
"Hope that you love using knives," said the second thug. "Cause we're about to cut in deep."
Piranha rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Heard all of that before, edgelords. Now, you're just on my nerves now."
"Edgelords?" the second thug scoffed. "You haven't seen everything yet. You have to be pulling my leg when you said that I'm on your nerves. I should be in your nightmare!"
Piranha could only raised her eyebrows upwards in a way that invoke a 'huh' reaction. "What leg?"
The second thug looked down…seeing his wooden leg. "Don't judge me! I lost it in a meaty-"
Not wanting to hear the entire story, Piranha grabbed the second thug by the wooden leg and swung him around with enough body weight to lift him up. The first thug screamed before trying to charge in. Piranha used the thug he caught as a bat and swung him at his partner. The first thug suffered at least 8 whacks to the face before he fell down.
Eventually, the wooden leg accidentally slipped off and when Piranha swung upwards, the second thug went flying in the air before crashing, far away from them. Seeing this, the first thug growled and tried to grab Piranha. However, he quickly jumped over the large thug before grabbing his leg and pounded him to the floor like a rag-doll.
Once he was done, Piranha flung the thug away, leaving the two thugs defeated. If one looks closely, Piranha looked nearly mad at this point. He suddenly felt the rush to get into a frenzy again.
"Who's next?!" he challenged, whipping around.
In his sight on the road was a truck filled with thieves armed to the teeth with swords, guns, bombs, nukes and bags of money.
Immediately, they quickly got back into the truck and sped off. No way were they going to fight against HIM.
"Yeah!" cackled Piranha in victory. "Run like cowards! I'm your God! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Back in the hideout, everybody could only stare in stunned silence at the one-sided curb battle with an unhinged Piranha laughing his head off.
"O-OK, Piranha," stuttered Webs, clearly concerned. "Let's…save the laughter for later."
"What a man," sighed Hornet dreamily.
"At least he isn't harmed," said Mira, looking down at a dreamy hornet and patting his head with a finger. "Now I know what you see in this fish."
"If we really went out there, he'd be the first to get too lost in the Purge," commented Shark.
"He scratched the car," muttered Snake. "Will THAT cause any more trouble?"
"At least it's still functionable by the looks of it," said Zee. "Your car is a tough one."
"And we got that meteorite," said Wolf, wiping his forehead. "There isn't anybody else nearby our radar. Looks like there is nothing else to worry about."
"That is true," said Tiffany, grinning. "And now, we might get to play with that Anthropowal Meteorite…ahhhhh…"
In reality, a daydreaming Tiffany was rubbing Wolf on the back. She was rubbing his back in a VERY suggestive way. The latter stared at her, creeped out.
"Erm…Tiffany," he said, though his tail was wagging. "Oh wait. Actually scratch a little further. Closer to the top."
Mira was watching the scene, disgusted. "Okay, this… this is just weird."
BANG! BANG! BANG!
That came from the garage door from below and Piranha hadn't returned to them yet.
Tiffany screamed, quickly lifting Wolf up like a baseball bat.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" said Snake, jumping upwards. "Place him down please. Don't freak out now. It's probably just another low-life criminal trying to get in."
"Guys," said Webs, her eyes widening. "It's not just a low-life criminal. It's Baron!"
From one of the monitors, a camera footage set near the garage door that lead to the escalator, they all could see a desperate giant brown-furred boar with a beer belly banging on the door. He was the same height as Shark. Aside from looking quite banged up, Baron has yellow eyes, and wore a black eye-patch on his right eye, a light brown singlet with rips in it, a utility belt with a strap across his shoulder, a red jacket with golden lining, black cuffs and the left sleeve being cut off to reveal his prosthetic metal arm, black pants with a red scarf attached to his belt and black boots.
"LET ME IN!" screeched Baron. "LET ME IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!"
"No one let him in!" snarled Wolf firmly. "We can't risk letting strangers in."
"But he's helpless out there!" pointed out Mira.
"Just leave him out there!" said Zee, disgusted. "He would never do the same to us!"
"Yeah!" agreed Tiffany, already panicking. "Baron Hoggust is one of the worst mob bosses in California! You can even tell by his looks! And excessive eating!"
"Will someone open this damn door here?!" screamed Baron's voice through the speakers. "My butt is already clenching right now from them!"
"Is this what's supposed to happen tonight?" said Shark, unsure what to decide.
"Aside from his stereotypical eating," growled Snake. "He's a backstabber. He once nearly tried to blackmail me into being the test subject of gaining 'interdimensional powers' in a ritual!"
"I don't trust him as well," said Hornet, crossing his arms. "He nearly tried to take my department down all for a crayon drawing of my head as a bounty!"
"They're coming soon!" screamed Baron. "They're coming to get me! I'm too young to die!"
"Ugh, screw Baron," hissed Piranha's voice as he drove back to the hideout. "I wanna smash some losers!"
"I don't want to sound mean, but it's probably safe not to let him in," said Shark, sweating.
"C'mon, guys!" said Mira, worried. "It wouldn't make us better if we leave him outside."
"Don't you dare, Mira, we have to be smarter than nicer," commanded Hornet. "That's an order."
"PLEASE LET ME IN!" pleaded Baron. "I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY! Wait…but if I die…YOU'LL GET MY MONEY AS WELL! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Did anyone hear something?" grumbled Webs as she went back to listening to her own music.
Meanwhile, Piranha was already driving his way back into the hideout. This time, he didn't dare to go reckless again. This was the complete opposite of how Piranha would drive a car. Since he really had to make sure that Baron didn't enter, he really needed to get ready to drive right into the garage. If Baron really was chased by someone, then the Bad Guys would be in trouble.
Entering the darkened room, the car's lights flashed to spot the garage door, waiting for him. Many red dots were placed all around the room, indicating that they were the traps Webs and Hornet made. Piranha could only wonder how in the universe Baron was able to avoid all of those traps and now ending up banging his fist on the door.
As soon as Baron saw Piranha driving in, he immediately leapt to action.
"Mr. Piranha!" the boar said, red in the face. "Tell those guys to let me in! NOW!"
"I'm not really sure about that, Mr. Hoggust…" said Piranha, nearly moving back. He didn't really like Baron that much and he had to admit that Baron ate too messily. He knew that his group had a lot of history with Baron, so sheltering him was gonna make things awkward.
"Good!" said Baron, taking 'no' as no answer as he hopped in. "Get me in there, chickpea!"
"It's actually pronounced 'chica'," deadpanned Piranha.
He could only drive the car right into the garage escalator. Once he parked, he hopped out of the driver's seat and immediately kicked Baron off the car.
"Ow!" yelped Baron.
"Close it now!" yelled Piranha.
Before Piranha could pounce on him, Baron jumped to his feet and slammed a meaty hand right on the lever. This was enough to not only shut the door close, but also caused it to go up in sparks. There were sounds of the door trying to open, but it fizzled out.
"Damn it!" yelled Webs' voice. "I knew I should have bought more overdrive switches!"
The elevator ride didn't take too long and the door opened up to reveal a panting Baron and a sheepish Piranha. And oh, the glowing Anthropowal Meteorite at the back of the wrecked car.
"Phew!" sighed Hornet, flying over to Piranha to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Good grief that you made it back! I'm surprised you really took care of those thugs out there!"
Piranha chuckled. "Well, nothing can beat me. Though…sorry that I brought the big fat pig in."
"Hey!" said Baron. "I'm not THAT fat!" His stomach growled. "OK, now I'm hungry. What's for breakfast?"
Everybody in the room let out a groan, unable to tolerate the mob boss' presence. Well, maybe except Mira since she never really met him before.
Hornet glared at Piranha, sarcastically commenting, "You know, I regretted giving you that kiss."
"You lucky bastard," hissed Snake. "Well, I guess make yourself home here. You're lucky that no other enemy tried to get in here!"
"Whoa, whoa, sweetheart," said Wolf, placing a hand over Snake. "Hang on a minute."
If there was anything else as much as they dislike Baron, they fear him as well. Baron is not an easy fellow to come by around since he has a REALLY bad temper. One that could rival Chief Luggins'. Enough that he would swear revenge and never gives up. Last thing they need was having a fight.
"How did you know that we were staying over here?" said Wolf, raising an eyebrow.
"Every good hiding spot is always in the sewers, like you, dirty mutt" said Baron as he rubbed his jacket. "I think that is how I was able escape those meddling zombies since they wouldn't stand the smell." That sounded like a bit of a lie. He took one sniff of the place and his face turned foul. "Ergh. You already stank up the place. Though, why is it salty?"
"It's popcorn," groaned Snake, glancing at the two human ladies. "Guests here already made a huge mess."
"Good golly!" said Shark, observing Baron from head to toe. "You looked a little ruffled. What happened to you?"
Baron wasn't in a good shape. Well, minus the beer belly, he had a lot of bruises and cuts over his body. His metallic arm was nearly bent, though it shouldn't hurt him that much. His left ear was flattened as if somebody pressed it down for too long. While there were barely any rips on his clothes, it was clear that he was slammed to the ground too many times judging by the dirt coating him.
"Nothing," said Baron robotically. "You know the usual Purge event."
"But you would have been hiding in YOUR own hideout," said Webs who was sitting on Mira's shoulder. "Ours isn't meant to share."
Baron snorted. "Oh really? Well, I'm surprised that you let those insignificant humans in. I thought that when you stick to the name 'Bad Guys', you would leave out those who aren't predators. And here we are with the ones who judge us animals."
"Hey!" said Mira, offended. "I don't go discriminate around like you think. In fact, it would be why I'm here! As you know, I'm an ally to the Bad Guys."
"Same here!" said Tiffany, raising a finger up. "And I never said a bad thing to anyone."
Mira blinked. "Only on paper you don't."
"That's true," muttered Webs.
"You do remember that you judged us like everyone else on-screen," reminded Hornet. He still remembered clearly about Tiffany's past reporters about him and his group the past year at the Gala of Goodness and when Marmalade 'pretended' to return the meteorite that was fake.
"Technically, humans often change their image through reputation and how they are seen on media," added Zee.
Baron raised an eyebrow upon seeing the lizard. "Who are you?"
"Get to the point," said Hornet, placing his hands on his hips. "What are you doing here?"
"Do you all need to know?" grumbled Baron, clearly wanting to avoid the topic.
"Well, it would be nicer to know since we would be wondering if your hideout blew up," said Wolf, pinching his nose.
"Oh really? It's not all that important. That's just personal business."
"It gets MORE personal when you brought something here that could kill us all," growled Snake, coming up close to Baron's face.
"Snake…" said Wolf in a warning tone.
"And the alternative is, worm?" asked Baron, narrowing his eyes. "You might be older, but I have experience over your old body."
"We can toss you out of the window," said Snake bluntly. "At least let those dreading for the last hours of Purge to finish to get to feast on some nice pork belly. Now who's gonna be the next to die old and alone?"
The boar was reluctant to tell, but given the number of eyes staring at him, there was no way out of it. Even though he fooled himself in front of people, he really wanted to cover himself up from being a coward. But this time, it wasn't really about him being one. It was more of a complicated case that could really send the Bad Guys over the fire. And his head would be on the bounty for associated murder.
"OK, OK, OK," said Baron, pushing Snake aside and making his way to the kitchen. "I used up some of the borrowed money to buy some new bombs. A classic trade so that I can execute my plan of blowing up a Sunnyside Lab facility."
"Borrowed money?" said Hornet, looking concerned as he rested on Piranha's head.
"Yeah," answered Baron, taking out a bowl and placing leftover popcorn from the pot into it. "It actually came from the Zombie Gang."
"Hold on," said Snake, surprised. "The Zombie Gang. THE Zombie Gang? Baron! Those guys are bad news!"
"Wait a minute," said Zee. "I actually never heard of them. Who are they?"
Tiffany gulped. "Oh man, the Zombie Gang is one of the worst mob gangs out there. In fact, they don't really live in California. They are said to live on the outskirts of society!"
"Yes, exactly," agreed Baron as he began to munch on his popcorn. "Now, those guys don't take me using their money easy as pie. I could have done blackmail, but after so many times of them beating my empire, I decided to try playing it fair."
"Playing it fair?" Webs laughed sarcastically. "You never play fair!"
"At least I tried to, spider girl. You wouldn't want to get your webs in a twist when dealing with someone that could be dangerous ranked."
Webs crossed her arms, rolling her eyes. "Well, that is kind of why I don't always go into civil wars that much. Great, but one cost you that arm before. You know I had a reason why I called you stubborn."
Wolf bit his lip. "So, you failed to pay for your debt?"
Baron looked flustered. "I ran out of time. My empire was running low and the debt was much higher than I thought. We were meant to go out on heists days ago, but due to the Purge, all banks panicked and shut them down."
"Oooh," said Piranha. "I remember. I once saw a building with an ice cream logo with metal shutters blocking it."
"No, that's an ice cream shop," corrected Shark.
"Let me guess," said Wolf, a hand over his snout. "The Zombie Gang broke into your hideout a few hours ago?"
Baron shrugged. "It was a brutal battle. I never seen them fight like this before. I would have stuck around, but there were rumors about them being canibalistic and they would not hesitate. However, it was a challenge I couldn't run away. A challenge that would be worth it."
"I'm guessing that they fizzled you out, did they?" asked Mira.
Baron grew embarrassed, pausing his munching. "Yes. They did. I underestimated them." He clenched his fist, shaking it. "But I shan't make the same mistake again. I shan't."
It was clear from the following silence that nobody knew if they should say 'good luck, I guess' or scold him for his recklessness.
"They…didn't follow you, did they?" asked Snake.
"I think I actually did lose them," said Baron. "I managed to turn around the last corner in town and they inspected an abandoned building. I eventually fell right through the sewer hole when it suddenly gave way and now I'm here."
Hornet clenched his teeth. "Oh shoot. We unlocked the metal gates and that was what led to the sewer hole immediately opening up."
"I really need to check on the safety radius," grumbled Webs to herself.
"How come you fell right through a sewer hole?" commented Tiffany. "You said that you hid in there! You could be too big to fit right through it!"
"Me neither, but I'm guessing that you're easy to snap like a tree branch," snarked Baron.
"Take this seriously, guys," said Snake. "So Baron got into trouble with the Zombie Gang and now we're harboring a fugitive they are searching for. They might find us here!"
Wolf thought about it, but when he remembered how prepared they were, he decided not to worry.
"Eh," said Wolf. "You know what, sweetheart? As long as he didn't manage to get one in, then we're safe."
"How can you be sure of that?" asked Shark in worry.
"Security system," said Webs with a smile. "Hello?"
"And the traps should still be functioning properly," said Hornet. "I still don't understand how Baron didn't tip any of them off."
"What if the Zombie Gang comes over to get us?" asked Piranha curiously. "Is there anything else we can do?"
"That's where I come in!" said Zee. "You got the meteorite, so we can use to our advantage!"
True to his word, the Anthropowal Meteorite was right with them. It was still on Wolf's totalled car. As they all got closer, they could feel the heat radiating from it. Like how Piranha felt it, it didn't feel like it was burning, but pleasant. For some reason, it made them fell safe.
"So," said Snake, scratching his head. "What should we do with it?"
"Sell it," said Baron simply, smacking his lips from the popcorn.
"Originally my idea," said Mira, raising a finger.
"Eat it," said Shark, nearly imagining American cheese in place of the orange spots.
"But how?" asked Zee, genuinely interested in that idea.
"Fry it?" said Webs, shrugging.
"Smack it!" said Wolf with an eager grin.
"That's the same thing you asked to do with the cat," deadpanned Snake.
"Hug it!" said Tiffany, unable to contain her excitement.
"Shoot it?" said Hornet lazily.
"Wear it," said Mira, scratching her chin.
"No, it would explode if you cut it," said Webs.
"Sing to it?" said Piranha innocently.
"Why are your answers always about singing?" chuckled Hornet at his fiance's answer.
"How about clothing it?" suggested Zee. "Though, we can't really because it's not stable yet. And it all runs on one power that can change a person's form."
"Wait, what does that mean?" said Baron, appearing scared.
"Observe!"
The lizard scientist got in close and did the most safest thing possible in the history of safest things to do in science experiments.
Touching it.
Upon contact, his entire body changed.
Everybody nearly screamed when he was changed into a veociraptor. He nearly towered over everywhere, taller than both Baron and Shark. Though, it just made Zee looked out of place since you wouldn't often see a dinosaur wearing a lab coat and pants.
"Nah," said Zee. "This one's not good."
He tried to touch the meteorite, only to end slipping and slamming the bottom of his snout against it. He changed again, this time into a non-anthropomorphic red-bellied piranha. Small, looking like a realistic fish and pimples all over his face.
"That one looks cute like you, Pepe," whispered Hornet.
Piranha chuckled, blushing. "He kind of looks like me."
"No," grunted Zee.
It took him a while to flop right near the meteorite, but once he touched it again, he transformed into a…erm…
Wolf's eyes widened and his tail began to wag. He let out a wolf whistle, clearly impressed.
Snake held his gaze for as long as he could before he fainted with a smirk, enjoying the sight.
Mira's nose began to bleed as she froze like a deer in headlights. Tarantula quickly pulled out a tissue to wipe it.
Hornet facepalmed his own head before he and Piranha exchanged anxious looks before the latter tried to cover the former's eyes with his tiny hands while the former tried to cover the latter's eyes with his large hands.
Shark raised an eyebrow, weirded out but aroused at what he was seeing. Though, when he looked down, his eyes widened in horror. He didn't notice Tiffany squeezing on his hand who had a massive jaw drop.
Baron placed his hands over his eyes, wanting to bleach his brain already.
Eventually, Zee turned back to normal, unsatisfied.
"I-Is anyone going to say SOMETHING about what he transformed into last?" sputtered Piranha.
"I don't wanna talk about it," answered Webs in a monotone voice.
Mira blinked, coming to her senses. "W-What happened?"
"It's in my brain now," said Wolf, his tail wagging furiously.
"OMG!" squealed Tiffany, running in close. "Let me try it!"
"Wait! Don't!" screeched Zee.
But the newsreporter already wrapped her arms around the meteorite. In the flash of a light, she was transformed into an anthropomorphic cat who nearly looked like her. A black cat with the same ponytail she always had. She giggled, wiggling her new paws…before finding herself tipping over, face-first.
"Does this one turn people into stone?" asked Piranha.
"Hmm," said Zee, tapping his head. "My space children, it seems that those who got transformed by the meteorite are not used to the new changes. Might take a couple of days or weeks, depending on the body structure."
"Is that so?" asked Wolf, looking disappointed.
"This isn't some sort of Hollywood werewolf transformation. This is a real-life transformation. The host would struggle to get used to their new bones and muscles. They can't do reflexes until they adapt to their new bodies."
"That makes sense," said Hornet, nodding. "Especially with how much energy is converted when they get transformed. Might even render them unconscious for a while."
"Exactly!"
With that, Zee placed Tiffany's hand onto the meteorite and she turned back to normal.
"Aww," cooed Webs. "She would have made another nice cat pet."
"Let's not think about that," said Mira, shivering. "Though I wonder if I will turn into a butterfly with that."
"I would like to be turn into a real shark using this," said Shark interested. "Or at least give me a tail?"
"Brrrr!" said Tiffany, rolling over on her back. "Now I feel bad for blasting all those kitty cats I talk about on the news."
"Aren't you a cat in the past life?" asked Webs.
A thought bubble went over Tiffany's head. A cutaway that showed a white cat in front of the microphone and a camera. It disappeared before she shook her head.
"So what I'm getting at is that meteorite can change a person's form," said Baron. "This could easily be a powerful weapon the Bad Guys have!"
"Not yet," warned Zee. "It's not stable, so it's not a weapon we have control of. That's why we needed to catch it."
"If so," said Shark. "How are we exactly supposed to know that it won't blow up?"
"As long as we don't provoke it too much, then we'll be safe."
Seeing that Snake had fallen, Wolf picked him up, shaking him gently.
"C'mon, sweetheart!" whispered Wolf. "You're there, Snakey? Say something!"
And that was when Snake opened his eyes and coughed. The saliva on his face took Wolf by surprise that he stumbled backwards, nearly towards the meteorite. Good thing that Zee was around as he quickly jumped onto the meteorite and grabbed Wolf before even his tail could touch it.
"I just told you all!" said Zee.
"Sorry…" said Wolf and Snake in unison.
"Yeah, careful," mumbled Baron.
Snake only glared at the boar, hissing.
"G-G-G-G-Guys?" stuttered Shark. "W-w-w-we h-h-h-h-have…c-c-c-c-c-c-company."
Something about the whimper in his voice placed everyone on edge. All eyes slowly turned to the camera footage monitors and they were greeted with a banging on the metal gates from the tunnel pipe.
A very too polite knocking.
Baron's eyes widened. Fear went over his eyes.
"They're here," he could only say.
AN: You better want to answer that, Baron.
Baron Hoggust is a character made by King Halloween. It was more of earlier this year when I was in discussion with him about new characters. He introduced me to Baron and my mind was already clicking. He felt like a perfect fit in my AU. Baron is like this snobby, hardworking and rude crime lord. A bit of a loser, but he's far from being a punch bag. So, thanks to King Halloween for the character! Special thanks to MasterClass60 for helping out with making the montage scene for this!
Wolf's and Mira's talk about how to attack the neck is based on a blooper from The Suicide Squad. For the part about Mira talking about snapping necks with legs, well…oh, and Tiffany's strange infatuation with the Anthropowal Meteorite is a reference to the pilot episode of 'Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared' show.
Piranha is the best boi to be out in the fields.
The story of Webs managing to get Diane to give her a lot of money is up to anyone to guess. Definitely not bribing Diane for McDonalds since the fox wouldn't take the offer!
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