Title: Dear Diary, Part 4/?
Author: Debi
Email: IanFan9@aol.com
Feeback: Pretty please? It's so good to hear what you think!
Rating: PG-13 (still)
Category: Jake and Hamilton (forever...)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I only get to own Hamilton in my wildest fantasies!
Summary: What if Jake had kept a journal of her adventure at Rawley?
Spoilers: Kinda pointless now...
Thanks: To everyone who provided me with such great feedback from Parts 1 & 2.
Monday, August 14, 2000
Wow, where to begin today? So much has happened since last night. I guess early this morning is the best place to start.
I still couldn't sleep last night, every time I closed my eyes, I saw Hamilton. And felt completely rotten all over again. I tossed, turned and paced all night long. I thought about coming to Rawley, my mom, Hamilton, what Hamilton was thinking, what Hamilton was doing.... I gave up trying to sleep around 5:00 and went to take a shower. I was hoping it would help me gather my thoughts so I could write Hamilton a letter to explain everything. I was still praying that he'd let me talk to him and explain face to face, but just in case, I wanted to have a letter ready. He had to know I didn't do all this just to make his life miserable. As it turned out, I didn't need the letter. As I started to write, there was a quiet, but urgent knock on my door. Guess who was there? Yep, it was Hamilton.
At first I thought he was furious and came to fight. His hands were shoved into his pockets and he did not look happy. I felt all the energy drain out of my body, I didn't want to fight. I was too exhausted for fighting. But then, the most unbelievable thing happened, he kissed me again. It was the most amazing kiss. It was full of want, need, relief, tenderness, lust....all mixed into that one kiss. I get little shivers up and down my spine when I think about that first kiss this morning. I say first kiss because there were many more. We kinda had a hard time stopping. It just felt so incredible to be there...with Hamilton...as a girl. He finally knew who I was and wanted to be there anyway. God, that feels so good to say! I'm so relieved. We managed to talk a little between kisses. Obviously, he wanted to know why I was doing this. Since we still had to get to class, I gave him the Cliff's Notes version and promised that he would get the full story when we had more time. Mostly, though, we kissed. It was like we had been putting this off for so long, we couldn't get enough of each other. I have to say, he's an amazing kisser!
Eventually, we realized we had lost track of time and were now late for class. I got dressed quickly and we headed for the lake. Finn hates being in a classroom when the weather is nice, so he holds class outside. It's actually pretty cool. Anyway, we got there late and Finn was already rambling on about today's poem. As we sat down behind the rest of the class, I noticed Lena. She gave us a funny look and then looked the other way for the rest of the class. I guess she feels weird after what happened last week. I know I still get freaked when I think about the way she was coming on to me. I mean, she has no idea I'm a girl, but to come on to someone who's not interested is uncomfortable, for anyone. It was so hard to concentrate on class. All I could think about was Hamilton. He was sitting right next to me and it was all I could do to keep from kissing him again. My next classes were a little easier to get through. Hamilton isn't in those, so I managed to pay a little attention.
We were supposed to have lunch together, but we ran into his mom before we got to the Dining Hall and she needed help with something, so lunch together didn't happen. We don't have any afternoon classes together, so we agreed to meet for dinner instead. There's a Friendly's in town and we thought that was a good place to have dinner and talk. Wrong! Did you know that both Will and Scout work at Friendly's? We didn't. We still had dinner, but we couldn't talk about anything personal like we intended. We didn't want to take the chance that Will or Scout would overhear our conversation. So it was football, computers and definitely no kissing. It was still nice to be with him, even if I had to be "Jake the guy".
We were hoping for some time alone (finally) after dinner, but as we got back to campus, we ran into his mom again. She was heading home and wanted Hamilton to come with her. We couldn't really argue with her, so he went home and I came back here. I'm totally bummed that we didn't get to be alone tonight. I really wanted to end the day the same way it started - kissing Hamilton.
Tuesday, August 15, 2000
Hamilton came by my room this morning before breakfast. It was so nice to have him be the first person I saw today. I couldn't help but smile when I opened my door and saw those incredible blue eyes looking back at me. I swear those eyes are just too amazing, my heart starts to pound just thinking about them. We had breakfast together and I was in a really great mood until we came out of the Dining Hall and saw the maintenance crew hanging banners for Parent's Weekend. It reminded me why I was here in the first place and instantly ruined my good mood. Hamilton asked if my mother was coming. I told him she doesn't even know about Parent's Weekend because I haven't actually spoken to her in weeks. He then informed me that the school sends special invitations to all the parents, so if she has gotten her mail, then she should know about Parent's Weekend. My good mood was slipping farther by the second. We didn't have much time before class, but I raced back and called home to see if Mom had gotten an invitation. Consuela told me she did get the invitation, but hadn't said anything about coming to Rawley. Mom is apparently in pre-production for her next project, which happens to be in New York. She's been right at home all week and I haven't heard from her once. It figures.
I guess it's a good thing she's not coming though. If she came she'd find out about "Jake" and I would have to leave Rawley...and Hamilton. I don't think that's something I want to do just yet.
Wednesday, August 16, 2000
Hamilton came by first thing this morning again. I could totally get used to this, I love seeing him before anyone else. Breakfast together was nice, but after that I didn't get to see much of him. We still haven't had a chance to talk privately. With Parent's Weekend coming up, his mom has him doing all kinds of extra projects for her. Apparently, Parent's Weekend is a big deal for the school administration and the fund raising department. Even Finn is showing signs of stress. The Summer Regatta is during Parent's Weekend and I hear that Rawley Crew hasn't done real well the last few years. Finn's been pushing hard to make sure the team is ready for the race. Personally, I wish I could just leave the campus tomorrow night and come back Monday morning. The last thing I need is to be surrounded by everyone else's parents.
Thursday, August 17, 2000
It never fails, just when I start to relax, life slaps me in the face again. Just to make sure I don't get too comfortable or happy.
I got an email from Mom today. Guess who's coming for Parent's Weekend? Yep, Monica Pratt is actually taking time out of her busy schedule to come see her daughter. Should be good news, right? That's what I wanted when I came here, right? Go figure, I get what I want right about the time I decide maybe that's not what I really want. The best part - she's coming to Rawley Girls! She totally missed the part about it being a boy's school. She has no clue what's really going on here. Now I have to figure out what to do. Do I get caught like I planned or do I try to get out of this somehow? During the few brief moments he wasn't working for his parents, Hamilton pointed out that if I got caught, I would get thrown out of here for sure and we'd never see each other again. Not an appealing idea at all....
So, how I do get out of this latest mess?
Hamilton said he'd sneak away from his parents later and we'd try to figure something out. At least we have a little extra time. Unlike the other parents, Mom isn't coming until Saturday. Hamilton said once the guests start arriving on Friday afternoon, his parents go into full political mode and tend to forget about him. He should have lots of time to help me with this disaster.
Author: Debi
Email: IanFan9@aol.com
Feeback: Pretty please? It's so good to hear what you think!
Rating: PG-13 (still)
Category: Jake and Hamilton (forever...)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I only get to own Hamilton in my wildest fantasies!
Summary: What if Jake had kept a journal of her adventure at Rawley?
Spoilers: Kinda pointless now...
Thanks: To everyone who provided me with such great feedback from Parts 1 & 2.
Monday, August 14, 2000
Wow, where to begin today? So much has happened since last night. I guess early this morning is the best place to start.
I still couldn't sleep last night, every time I closed my eyes, I saw Hamilton. And felt completely rotten all over again. I tossed, turned and paced all night long. I thought about coming to Rawley, my mom, Hamilton, what Hamilton was thinking, what Hamilton was doing.... I gave up trying to sleep around 5:00 and went to take a shower. I was hoping it would help me gather my thoughts so I could write Hamilton a letter to explain everything. I was still praying that he'd let me talk to him and explain face to face, but just in case, I wanted to have a letter ready. He had to know I didn't do all this just to make his life miserable. As it turned out, I didn't need the letter. As I started to write, there was a quiet, but urgent knock on my door. Guess who was there? Yep, it was Hamilton.
At first I thought he was furious and came to fight. His hands were shoved into his pockets and he did not look happy. I felt all the energy drain out of my body, I didn't want to fight. I was too exhausted for fighting. But then, the most unbelievable thing happened, he kissed me again. It was the most amazing kiss. It was full of want, need, relief, tenderness, lust....all mixed into that one kiss. I get little shivers up and down my spine when I think about that first kiss this morning. I say first kiss because there were many more. We kinda had a hard time stopping. It just felt so incredible to be there...with Hamilton...as a girl. He finally knew who I was and wanted to be there anyway. God, that feels so good to say! I'm so relieved. We managed to talk a little between kisses. Obviously, he wanted to know why I was doing this. Since we still had to get to class, I gave him the Cliff's Notes version and promised that he would get the full story when we had more time. Mostly, though, we kissed. It was like we had been putting this off for so long, we couldn't get enough of each other. I have to say, he's an amazing kisser!
Eventually, we realized we had lost track of time and were now late for class. I got dressed quickly and we headed for the lake. Finn hates being in a classroom when the weather is nice, so he holds class outside. It's actually pretty cool. Anyway, we got there late and Finn was already rambling on about today's poem. As we sat down behind the rest of the class, I noticed Lena. She gave us a funny look and then looked the other way for the rest of the class. I guess she feels weird after what happened last week. I know I still get freaked when I think about the way she was coming on to me. I mean, she has no idea I'm a girl, but to come on to someone who's not interested is uncomfortable, for anyone. It was so hard to concentrate on class. All I could think about was Hamilton. He was sitting right next to me and it was all I could do to keep from kissing him again. My next classes were a little easier to get through. Hamilton isn't in those, so I managed to pay a little attention.
We were supposed to have lunch together, but we ran into his mom before we got to the Dining Hall and she needed help with something, so lunch together didn't happen. We don't have any afternoon classes together, so we agreed to meet for dinner instead. There's a Friendly's in town and we thought that was a good place to have dinner and talk. Wrong! Did you know that both Will and Scout work at Friendly's? We didn't. We still had dinner, but we couldn't talk about anything personal like we intended. We didn't want to take the chance that Will or Scout would overhear our conversation. So it was football, computers and definitely no kissing. It was still nice to be with him, even if I had to be "Jake the guy".
We were hoping for some time alone (finally) after dinner, but as we got back to campus, we ran into his mom again. She was heading home and wanted Hamilton to come with her. We couldn't really argue with her, so he went home and I came back here. I'm totally bummed that we didn't get to be alone tonight. I really wanted to end the day the same way it started - kissing Hamilton.
Tuesday, August 15, 2000
Hamilton came by my room this morning before breakfast. It was so nice to have him be the first person I saw today. I couldn't help but smile when I opened my door and saw those incredible blue eyes looking back at me. I swear those eyes are just too amazing, my heart starts to pound just thinking about them. We had breakfast together and I was in a really great mood until we came out of the Dining Hall and saw the maintenance crew hanging banners for Parent's Weekend. It reminded me why I was here in the first place and instantly ruined my good mood. Hamilton asked if my mother was coming. I told him she doesn't even know about Parent's Weekend because I haven't actually spoken to her in weeks. He then informed me that the school sends special invitations to all the parents, so if she has gotten her mail, then she should know about Parent's Weekend. My good mood was slipping farther by the second. We didn't have much time before class, but I raced back and called home to see if Mom had gotten an invitation. Consuela told me she did get the invitation, but hadn't said anything about coming to Rawley. Mom is apparently in pre-production for her next project, which happens to be in New York. She's been right at home all week and I haven't heard from her once. It figures.
I guess it's a good thing she's not coming though. If she came she'd find out about "Jake" and I would have to leave Rawley...and Hamilton. I don't think that's something I want to do just yet.
Wednesday, August 16, 2000
Hamilton came by first thing this morning again. I could totally get used to this, I love seeing him before anyone else. Breakfast together was nice, but after that I didn't get to see much of him. We still haven't had a chance to talk privately. With Parent's Weekend coming up, his mom has him doing all kinds of extra projects for her. Apparently, Parent's Weekend is a big deal for the school administration and the fund raising department. Even Finn is showing signs of stress. The Summer Regatta is during Parent's Weekend and I hear that Rawley Crew hasn't done real well the last few years. Finn's been pushing hard to make sure the team is ready for the race. Personally, I wish I could just leave the campus tomorrow night and come back Monday morning. The last thing I need is to be surrounded by everyone else's parents.
Thursday, August 17, 2000
It never fails, just when I start to relax, life slaps me in the face again. Just to make sure I don't get too comfortable or happy.
I got an email from Mom today. Guess who's coming for Parent's Weekend? Yep, Monica Pratt is actually taking time out of her busy schedule to come see her daughter. Should be good news, right? That's what I wanted when I came here, right? Go figure, I get what I want right about the time I decide maybe that's not what I really want. The best part - she's coming to Rawley Girls! She totally missed the part about it being a boy's school. She has no clue what's really going on here. Now I have to figure out what to do. Do I get caught like I planned or do I try to get out of this somehow? During the few brief moments he wasn't working for his parents, Hamilton pointed out that if I got caught, I would get thrown out of here for sure and we'd never see each other again. Not an appealing idea at all....
So, how I do get out of this latest mess?
Hamilton said he'd sneak away from his parents later and we'd try to figure something out. At least we have a little extra time. Unlike the other parents, Mom isn't coming until Saturday. Hamilton said once the guests start arriving on Friday afternoon, his parents go into full political mode and tend to forget about him. He should have lots of time to help me with this disaster.