I awoke to a knocking.
No more midnight visits then, I guess.
I decided to ignore it and get ready before opening the door today.
If I have to be kept waiting for attention, then so do you.
The knocking grew louder and more insistent. I was halfway through washing my face when the door burst open and Kabuto stepped in.
"Ignoring me is unwise, Melo."
"I started my ten minute countdown on my own today. Thought I'd save you the trouble."
"I'll save myself the trouble of waiting at the door by removing it entirely if you do that again."
I finished my morning routine and stepped outside my cell.
"Shall we?"
I took a few steps in the general direction of the testing room. He remained standing outside of my room, not even turning to face me.
"I mean it. There are consequences for breaking rules here. Do you want to return to sharing your old cell with the others? Having space to yourself is a privilege, it is not necessary for testing. Do not challenge authority here."
He wouldn't send me back there, would he?
"It won't happen again."
"Hmph."
He walked past me, and I followed behind him in sulking silence.
I expected him to be mad, but this seems like a bit too much.
When we arrived, he gestured to the folded paper gown on the end of the treatment table.
"I believe you know what to do with that."
He sat in the rolling chair near his desk, facing me. He wore a challenging expression.
"Turn around so I can change."
"I'm not sure that you can be trusted with privacy today."
So that's how it's going to be? Fine.
"I feel like you're overreacting."
"I feel like you've forgotten your role here."
I noticed the array of pillar candles on his desk.
"What are those for?"
"Don't change the subject."
He leaned forwards in the chair, bracing his elbows on his knees and steepling his hands in front of his face. Never one to back down from a challenge, I decided to comply.
"Fine, perv."
His face twitched. It was impossible to say whether it was in annoyance or genuine anger.
"I am not a…"
I turned away and removed my top, quickly slipping the paper gown and fastening it before turning around and removing my pants.
"Hope seeing my back did whatever you were hoping for…"
He began to rise from the chair to collect the necessary pre-test blood sample.
"...pervert."
He sighed dramatically, closing his eyes and exhaling several times before responding. When he did, his voice was measured. Controlled. His eyes flashed dangerously before disappearing behind the glare on his glasses. He pointed to the treatment table.
"Sit."
I did as instructed. He pricked my finger and collected the blood.
"Lay back."
I slowly lowered myself so that I was resting on my elbows.
"What are we testing today?"
"All the way back."
He floated his hands over the candles, wavering between one in black and one in red. He lifted the one in black, turning to hold it up in front of me. He seemed to be considering something about it as it looked back and forth between it and me.
"Yes, this one will do nicely…"
He approached the table. I raised myself up again slightly to see the candle.
"I uh…really don't know what you expect me to do with that."
"I said 'lay back'." he hissed.
He drew a kunai from his pocket and used the handle to push me back against the table. He twirled it around in his hand, resting the edge against my throat.
"Is this still about the door? It won't happen again, I promise."
He turned the edge of the blade towards my paper gown's neckline. The paper split easily when it came in contact with it.
This has to be sharper than a normal kunai. It's as sharp as a scalpel!
My heart began to beat more quickly. I inhaled slowly, then exhaled, trying to calm myself down. I clamped my arms against my sides and clasped my hands tightly together, resting them on my stomach. He moved the edge of the blade through the gown as easily as he would through air, pausing only when he reached my hands.
"Move them."
'But if I move my arms, the gown might fall open. My arms are all that's keeping it together right now!"
He nudged my hands with the handle of his kunai, then pressed the tip against my skin.
"Ow! Fine!"
It didn't actually hurt very much, no skin was broken, but I glared at him anyway. I slowly moved my hands away, settling them tightly against my sides. The blade continued its journey all the way down to my hemline, cutting it entirely in two. The kunai disappeared back into his pocket. He pulled a lighter from another pocket, lit the candle, and set the lighter on the edge of the table. He held the candle over me, watching the flame dance for a moment. Then he looked down at me.
What's with that intense expression? And what's he doing with that? Is he going to burn me next? The oor was only closed for like a minute, or two minutes, maximum! This is definitely an overreaction.
"Kabuto, what are we doing here?"
"Open your gown. I need your skin."
An involuntary pang of want shot through me.
Wording, geeze.
"But why?"
He glared at me, hand flashing to the pocket that held his kunai. A clear threat. I remembered the way the tip of it felt when it pressed against my skin a moment ago, and moved my hands to hold both halves of the gown together.
"I'm listening! I am. But you're starting to scare me. What are we doing?"
He raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly at my hands, which had not yet actually separated the halves of the gown.
Fine.
My hands shook as I flipped the halves back, exposing myself to him. I felt a blush burning its way across my face, and couldn't make myself look up at him.
"Good~" he purred. "You do know how to be obedient. What we're doing today involves wax. It's another type of sensation play. You seemed to enjoy the others, so I feel you'll like this one too. All that's needed from you is to be still, and tell me if something is confomfortable. Understand?"
I nodded my head slightly. He cleared his throat, as if waiting for something.
"I asked if you understood. Answer me."
"Yes."
"Then we'll begin."
He held the pillar candle high above me somewhere around my chest. I couldn't see exactly where without turning my head to face him, and I couldn't handle looking at him while I was exposed like this. He tilted it slightly, and the wax that had pooled on its top spilled down onto me. I let out a startled noise as it hit me, its warmth quickly cooling against my skin.
"Too hot?"
"N-no…"
"Just embarrassed, then? That's allowed."
He tipped the candle over me again, and the wax spilled across my breast, rolling down the side that was further from him. I watched it harden on its way down, already solid by the time it reached the table below me. It was followed quickly by another drip on the other breast. He laughed from above me.
"Not exposed anymore, see? So look at me…"
I couldn't do it. I shook my head 'no'.
"No? Why?"
He chuckled, the sound rumbling out from deep in his chest. More wax spilled along my sternum, trailing down towards my belly button. Its warmth was relaxing, but the feeling of being so closely scrutinized by him kept me tense.
"Fine, then let's help you relax."
"What now?" I whined, before I could find a way to reword my question.
"Relax."
He stepped quickly to the desk and pulled out a blindfold, then returned with it and tied it over my eyes. He settled my head on the table so that I was facing upwards, holding my cheek in one of his hands.
"Better?"
"...maybe."
His hand withdrew. More wax spilled over me, coating first the left, then the right sides of my stomach. I tried to tilt my head up to see under my blindfold, but it didn't work.
"Be still, now."
I relaxed against the table. The wax poured over my ribs, one side at a time.
This really isn't too bad. In fact, now that I'm getting past the embarrassment, it's kinda nice…
More wax spilled over my chest, recoating the previous areas. It felt warmer than the first layer. I exhaled audibly.
"Too hot?"
"No."
"Good. This is soy wax, so it shouldn't be too difficult for you. I should be able to vary the temperature to nearly its full range without it burning you. See, if I hold it up here…"
He dripped wax onto me from high above me. The wax was nearly cool before it reached me. It landed on top of the layer of wax that was already built up and hardened almost immediately.
It seems like he really is trying to be careful. Maybe he's not still mad about this morning.
"It feels cooler. But if I hold it down here…"
He dripped a small amount from just a few inches above me, hitting an already coated area. I inhaled sharply at the heat.
Or maybe he is still angry.
"That may still be too much for you. What a pity…"
The idea of disappointing him upset me.
Why do I even care what he thinks, anyway?
He readjusted the height, then tipped more wax from my stomach to my hips, repeating the line on each side.
That amount of warmth is just perfect. It's so relaxing~
"Bend your leg."
I did as he asked without any hesitation, still feeling the warmth of the wax dripping down my outer thigh. He tipped wax down onto my raised knee, letting it run down towards my hips.
"Now the other one."
I lowered my knee and raised the other one, expecting more wax. He rested the unlit end of the candle on my knee instead.
Maybe listening to him isn't so bad. At least, occasionally. If he's going to make me feel like this, I could give obedience a shot.
"So well behaved, suddenly. Having a good time?"
I pursed my lips at him, then lowered my knee to the table.
Nevermind.
"Don't start that now, we were just starting to get along."
He held the candle very close to my lowered leg and dripped the wax in a thick, hot trail along the path it had traveled on the first leg. I winced.
"Aww, poor thing. Uncomfortable? You should have listened and kept your knee up. Now, lift your chin."
I can't take that much heat on such a sensitive area.
"Not too hot…"
"Of course not."
I raised my chin, exposing the soft flesh that had not yet been coated in wax. He traced a finger over it, barely grazing me with his nail. He tapped the flesh, then withdrew his hand. He held the candle very high above me and started dripping wax onto my neck. He let it pool, and I felt it getting warmer and warmer as he brought it closer to my skin. As it approached the edge of what I could handle, I bit my lip. He must have been watching for a reaction. As soon as I gave one, he started moving the candle over me. He tapped the spot above my heart with his free hand, a strange sensation since that skin was already coated in wax, then let another pool of wax drip down. He held the candle still for a moment, then moved it down another few inches and tapped a spot at the base of my ribcage. He then let another pool form in the spot he had just touched. I began to anticipate the routine.
It feels like relaxing into a nice, warm bath. His control over it is so precise.
He held the candle upright for another few seconds, letting the wax build back up, and then tapped an exposed spot just above my belly button with his nail. As soon as he withdrew, another pool was dropped onto that free spot. I let out a breath I didn't even realize I had been holding, letting the wax melt away my concerns.
I really do admire his control…
I felt myself blush again at the thought. I heard him let out a nearly inaudible laugh, then he tapped an already coated spot just below my belly button. He held the candle upright for another several seconds, then tipped another pool onto the selected spot. The wax from this pool spilled over, joining the mass of wax hardening on the table below me. He traced his finger down my body and tapped another spot, just above my vulva. I still couldn't see through my blindfold, but I turned my head away anyway. I felt myself getting wet at the thought of him touching me there.
He's so good with his hands everywhere else…
He let his finger rest on the spot for a moment, then trailed it down, lifting it from my skin just a second too soon to be satisfying. After another moment of hesitation, the wax dripped down onto that spot from high above. He slowly lowered the candle towards my skin, stopping before it spilled down between my legs. I squirmed on the table.
"What's the matter, Melo. Hoping for more?"
Maybe…
"Nope."
"Oh? Well, let's check that, shall we?"
He tapped my leg with the base of the candle.
"Spread your legs for me."
I'm storing that away in my head for me to think about later…But no, it's way too embarrassing now.
I pressed my knees together. I heard him sigh, then the candle was audibly placed down somewhere near the desk.
Maybe I should remove the blindfold and see what's going on.
The handle of his hunai pressed against my inner thigh.
"Do I need to repeat myself?"
I slowly parted my legs, barely putting an inch of space between them.
"I can't…"
"I can."
He grabbed my leg and pulled it, then slipped his kunai in between them horizontally. The handle pressed into one thigh, and the tip pressed against the other.
"So wet…just from that? Were you trying to hide that from me?"
Yes.
I brought my hands to my face, trying to hide behind them. A blindfold alone just wasn't enough to contain how I felt anymore.
"There's no need to be ashamed. That is part of testing, right? And so is this…"
He removed the kunai, and I felt its edge graze gently along my leg. I began to breathe faster.
He's going to cut me!
The wax fell off in a long, thick strip. He repeated the motion a few times, cleaning the wax off one leg entirely. He ran his hand over the flesh there appreciatively.
"Just checking to make sure I didn't miss anything."
"Be careful, pervert."
He slipped the blade between the wax and the skin of my stomach, removing it with ease. The edge barely touched my skin.
Such careful movements…
I pictured the way his hands moved in our day to day interactions. His long fingers twirling his pen while he thought of what to record on his clipboard, or curling into a loose fist as he stood in my doorway. I thought of what they must have looked like, brushing along my skin a moment ago. I felt goosebumps raise along my arms.
"Just relax, and do as you're told."
I felt myself relax immediately at his instruction.
"Move your arm."
I obeyed, and he traced the blade over my side, scraping away all the built up wax.
"Very good~"
It feels…really satisfying to be praised by him.
"You may return it now. Move the other side."
He repeated the motions, reaching over me to remove the wax from my farther side. His shirt brushed against my chest as he did so.
Praise me again. I did what you asked, right?
"Good, you may return it."
I squirmed on the table, waiting for him to remove the last of the wax. Only a bit of my chest, my throat, and one leg remained. He set to work on my chest.
"I'm going to need you to relax, here. Your irregular breathing is making it hard to be careful. Just breathe."
Yes, sir.
I started counting my breaths, trying to even them out. After a few repetitions, he continued his scraping. He cleared the wax away, then inspected the area thoroughly with his hands. His cool, smooth skin was a balm for my nerves. It radiated calmness through me everywhere he touched. His hands traveled over my stomach, my sides, and my breasts…
He's…never touched me there before. Not like this.
I felt my breathing quicken again.
"Now now, calm down."
He tilted my head up with his hand.
"Hold this here for me, okay?"
"...yes, sir."
I felt his hand stiffen against me for a second, and then heard him exhale softly. He continued, bringing the blade close to my throat. He scraped away the wax layer by later, concentrating fully on not nicking the skin. He bent down closer to me as he worked. The blade moved away, then I felt his breath on my ear.
He whispered, barely audible over my heartbeat, "I was worried about you."
I felt my eyes widen in surprise. I wished more than anything that I had removed the blindfold.
I want to see him…
"This morning…I thought something had happened to you. Never do that again."
A warm feeling welled up in my chest. I couldn't remember the last time someone was concerned for me, much less someone like him.
I answered, in a murmur even quieter than his, "I'm sorry. I won't. I promise."
I wanted to confess everything I felt to him, wanted to tell him how much that meant to me, but that was all I could choke out through my constricted throat. I felt him start to stand. I reached out blindly in front of me. The memory of reaching for him in the dark during his midnight visit flashed back into my head. This time, instead of reaching into empty air, I made contact with his chest. It was solid, and warm. I moved my hand to his heart, pressing my palm against it. I could feel it hammering away inside him at a rate that almost outpaced my own. I moved my hand up along it, caressing his neck as far up as I could reach. His face was too far away to touch. I strained my hand in that direction, got close enough to feel the heat radiating off his skin, then fell short. He lowered his head slightly so that his cheek rested against my outstretched fingertips. I traced my fingertips down his cheekbone, towards his chin, over his lips. They parted gently. I felt his breath, hot and erratic against them. Then he stepped back. I turned my head in what I hoped was his direction, then lowered my fingers against my own lips and kissed them before letting my hand drop beside me.
It's as close to a kiss as he'll give me.
He cleared his throat.
"You still have one more leg to clean."
I bent the knee on the wax-covered leg, tilting it towards him. He stepped around to the same side as it, taking it firmly in his hand. He scraped more of the wax away, letting the blade glide smoothly over my skin. When he reached the base of my leg, he paused. He rested the handle of the blade against my opposing leg and tilted the tip towards the one he was working on, then used his free hand to inspect my leg. He ran his hand along the skin of my thigh, ghosting over my skin as light as a breath. He stopped occasionally to massage a bruise, all of which had been left by him with the crop days earlier.
It hurts when he touches them but…they're from him. They're his~
"I wonder…if I missed any spots. It's important to be thorough, you know."
He sounded hesitant. I froze, waiting for more. He moved the handle of the kunai down towards me.
He must be holding it by the flat sides. Isn't that dangerous?
He pressed the handle against my clit gently, making slow, small circles with the smooth metal.
"Ahh~"
I felt my legs opening without my intervention. His heavy breathing was audible from where he stood. He traced the handle down over me, placing it against my entrance. He paused there, as if waiting for my direction.
Do I want this? I want…I want him! But if this is what's on offer…that weapon belongs to him. It's a piece of him, controlled by him. Maybe…maybe that's enough?
I moved my hips under him, pressing myself against the handle. I felt it start to enter me. I could barely make myself move, but I rocked my hips slowly back and forth trying to work more inside of me. His voice was extremely strained when he responded to my attempts.
"Be still."
I froze, quivering all over with anticipation. He started moving the end of the weapon slowly in and out of me, letting it enter by the centimeter. The handle wasn't very long, and I felt like he was drawing out the anticipation for longer than should be possible. He worked the length of the handle into me, tilting it slightly so that it pressed against my sweet spot.
"Ahhhhnn~"
"There? Is that what you like?"
He tapped that spot a few more times with the handle, eliciting more needy noises from me.
"Y-Yes…"
He started moving the handle a little faster. It was still excruciatingly slow, but it was enough. The handling bumping against me, paired with the knowledge that it was him moving it, made a ball start to form in my stomach. I squirmed, and he froze.
"You have to be still for this, Melo. Understand?"
"Sorry."
He began moving it slowly again. I felt myself start to clench down around the handle. He must have felt it too. He pressed it into me, focusing the pressure on that sweet spot. I felt his shirt brush against my arm as he leaned down beside me to get a better angle. He began tapping out a repetitive pattern against that spot.
Tap press tap tap, long press long press long press, tap tap tap press, tap…and then it repeats.
I felt the tension rising inside of me, and my breathing started to get quicker. My hands started to clench up, so I grabbed the end of the table to steady myself. He tapped the same pattern over and over again, and I felt myself shake under him.
"Are you close?"
He tapped the pattern out again. I grasped for his shirt, feeling myself start to come undone. My hand grazed the skin above his pants before I gave up. He stepped away slightly, and I let my hand fall.
"Ahhh~! Kabuto, I'm….fucking, I'm gonna…ah~!"
I came hard on the handle of his kunai. He withdrew it from me, and I heard it clatter into the sink across the room.
It probably needs to be cleaned…oops.
He untied the blindfold as I lay there, still gasping. He gently raised one of my hands and pricked my finger for the blood sample, then laid it beside me on the table. I looked at him, trying to read his expression. He avoided my eyes.
He was worried about me…
"When you're ready, we'll get you back to your cell."
He crossed the room and sat back in the chair, facing away from me. I changed as quickly as I was able to.
"Ready."
"Good."
Shit, it still feels good to be praised by him.
He looked tense, and unsure of himself. I don't know that I've ever seen that expression on him before.
"So…do I get to keep my door?"
His face softened. Something must have resolved itself in him. He let out another chuckle.
"We'll see."
…..
That night, I lay awake in my cell, thinking of him.
Kabuto…
I absentmindedly drummed that pattern he had been tapping against my leg as I laid in the dark, thinking.
That will probably be stuck in my head forever now…What a day…it's familiar, somehow…
Tap press tap tap, long press long press long press, tap tap tap press, tap, then repeat.
It reminds me of…
I remembered how once, before I was a prisoner, my father taught me morse code.
His name, how to ask for help, how to give my location, and my name…
Press press is 'M', tap is 'E', tap press tap tap is 'L', press press press for 'O'…some of those are familiar.
I repeated his pattern again against my leg, slowing the pattern down. I slowly tapped it out.
Tap press tap tap for 'L', long press long press long press for 'O', tap tap tap press for 'V', tap for 'E'...LOVE.
I fell asleep with the word on my lips.
Love…but surely that was just a coincidence.